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his response was "WHY THE FUCK NOT? If you weren't interested, you shouldn't have fucking replied at all! WTF!" Tweten concluded that "You learn that you can't not respond; they freak out. But if you do respond, they also yell at you. You can't win." The commonality of the experience among the women on the
Facebook group became an inside joke, Bye Felipe, a
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organizes the various types of men the inappropriate messages come from, "from Pickup Artist Peter to
Michael Mansplainer and Trevor the Troll," analyzes the messages to determine what they have in common, and provides suggestions for handling them. Tweten said she wanted to "create a handbook for
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when she hadn't responded to an earlier message. Other women posted tales of similar experiences of men "turning hostile when rejected or ignored" including Tweten, who posted about one man who had messaged her the same OkCupid line three times over a month, and when Tweten finally responded "No,"
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The
Instagram account, started in October 2014, features screenshots of messages in dating apps forwarded by women who've received them from men. Tweten was a member of a Facebook group for Los Angeles women. One woman posted a screenshot of a message, "Asshole," that she'd received on
65:, Olga Khazan, stumbled across the account and wrote an article, calling Treten "feminist Tinder-creep-busting web vigilante" and the Instagram account became popular. By December 2014 the account had 278,000 followers, by 2016 almost 400,000 and by 2018 half a million. In a story for
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called the
Instagram account a "crowdsourced menagerie of mankind's worst specimens." The Instagram account accepts submissions of "insulting, ridiculous and sometimes outright threatening messages" women receive in online dating apps and posts them for commentary by followers.
93:, said that sites like Bye Felipe and similar efforts such as Nice Guys of OkCupid, Fedoras of OkCupid, and Straight White Boys Texting "aren't just parades of female spite: they're an important archival project showcasing the breadth of men's casual, online misogyny." The
69:, Tweten wrote she created the Instagram to commiserate with other women, let men know how those types of messages felt to women, and "expose the problematic entitlement some men feel they need to exert over women in general."
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Tweten started the
Instagram to share and discuss such posts with friends and as "a way to make fun of men who tried to make us feel bad." Within a few days she'd posted a dozen submissions; a writer for
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in
October 2014 broadcast a discussion critical of the internet shaming aspect of the Instagram account, saying that some men were jerks and women should just block them and move on.
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how to handle any situation when you're online dating as a woman" and that the book turned into an anthology of the "best – or worst, I guess" submissions she'd received.
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149:"Her Instagram account Bye Felipe exposes online-dating creeps. Now she's turned it into a book"
438:"Not all men are awful to women on the internet. Those who aren't need to act | Jess Zimmerman"
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345:""Bitch I Said Hi": The Bye Felipe Campaign and Discursive Activism in Mobile Dating Apps"
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521:""Bye Felipe" Is the Best New Instagram Account for Your Gross Online Dating Messages"
496:"'Bye Felipe' Is the Best New Instagram Account for Your Gross Online Dating Messages"
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109:, called it "the best new Instagram account for your gross online dating messages."
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268:"The Woman Behind "Bye Felipe" Has Written the Ultimate Guide to Modern Dating"
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317:"Instagram Account Beautifully Calls Out Online Dating's Worst Guys"
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Bye Felipe: Disses, Dick Pics, and Other
Delights of Modern Dating
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Bye Felipe: Disses, Dick Pics, and Other
Delights of Modern Dating
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account and book by
Alexandra Tweten; the term became an internet
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234:"'Bye Felipe' documents the biggest jerks in online dating"
471:"Tinder jerks get shamed by hilarious Instagram account"
292:"Bye Felipe: A Place to Publicly Shame Rude Men"
30:for men "behaving badly" in online dating apps.
85:Frances Shaw, writing in the academic journal
16:Instagram account and book by Alexandra Tweten
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97:called the Instagram account "hilarious."
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209:"Why Men Send Obscene OkCupid Messages"
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409:Tweten, Alexandra (2018-08-21).
266:Martin, Brittany (2018-08-21).
436:Zimmerman, Jess (2014-10-28).
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315:Bahadur, Nina (2014-10-29).
207:Khazan, Olga (2014-10-27).
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494:Moore, Lane (2014-10-30).
469:Smith, Kyle (2014-10-30).
386:"Why I Created Bye Felipe"
362:10.1177/2056305116672889
556:Feminism and sexuality
355:(4): 205630511667288.
349:Social Media + Society
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154:The Washington Post
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179:"Bye Felipe"
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55:Bye, Felicia
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32:The Atlantic
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107:Cosmpolitan
51:gender-flip
545:Categories
530:2020-06-14
505:2020-06-14
480:2020-06-14
455:2020-06-14
395:2020-06-14
326:2020-06-14
301:2020-06-14
277:2020-06-14
243:2020-06-14
218:2020-06-14
188:2020-06-14
119:References
99:Lane Moore
20:Bye Felipe
450:0261-3077
371:2056-3051
81:Reception
72:The book
24:Instagram
321:HuffPost
238:Mashable
53:play on
296:The Cut
160:14 June
46:OkCupid
39:History
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22:is an
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417:ISBN
367:ISSN
162:2020
105:and
103:Elle
28:meme
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Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.