398:" between Mrs Arbuthnot, her husband Charles, and Wellington, widely speculated upon, has been rejected by some biographers. However, it has been said that the unhappily married Duke enjoyed his relationship with Mrs Arbuthnot because he found in her company "the comfort and happiness his wife could not give him." Arbuthnot was certainly the Duke's confidante in all matters, especially that of his marriage. He confided to her that he only married his wife because "they asked me to do it" and that he was "not the least in love with her." In fact, Wellington had not seen his wife for ten years before their wedding day. Following the marriage, the bride and groom found they had little if anything in common. Despite producing two sons, they led mostly separate lives until the death of the Duchess of Wellington in 1831. Harriet had a rather poor opinion of the Duchess ("she is such a fool"), although she disagreed with Wellington when he said that his wife cared nothing for his comfort: in Harriet's view the Duchess longed to make her husband happy, but had no idea how to go about the task.
319:
176:
450:
196:, at Fulbeck on 31 January 1814. Born in 1767, her husband was 26 years older than she was, an age difference which had initially caused her family to object to the marriage. She was 20. Another of the principal obstacles to finalising the arrangements for the marriage was financial. Her widowed mother delegated the arrangements for the marriage of her 20-year-old daughter to her elder son Vere, who was considered qualified in these matters as he worked at
422:, in 1828. Arbuthnot noted that the young princess was "the most charming child I ever saw" and that "the Duchess of Kent is a very sensible person, who educates her (Victoria) remarkably well." Arbuthnot's impressions of the Duchess were less than candid, and not shared by Wellington and other establishment figures. However, had Arbuthnot's own character not been judged respectable an audience with the infant princess would not have been permitted.
111:
22:
209:
98:" quoted in many biographies and histories of the era. Her observations and memories of life within the British establishment are not confined to individuals but document politics, great events and daily life with an equal attention to detail, providing historians with a clear picture of the events described. Her diaries were themselves finally published in 1950 as
267:
Wellington. All social commentators of the time, however, agree that her marriage was happy; indeed, her husband was as close a friend of
Wellington's as was his wife. Married to a politician, she was fascinated by politics and enjoyed success as a political hostess while exerting her energies to promote
406:
between
January 1828 and November 1830. It has been suggested that the Duke of Wellington allowed her "almost unrestricted access to the secrets of the cabinet". Whatever her knowledge and access, however, it appears she was unable to influence the Duke, but even his refusal to bring her husband into
436:
When
Wellington and the Tories fell from power in November 1830, Arbuthnot lost interest in her diary, writing: "I shall write very seldom now, I dare say, in my book, for, except the Duke, none of the public men interest me." Her account of the break-up of the Tory party is a thoroughly partisan
266:
Throughout her marriage, Mrs
Arbuthnot, the former Harriet Fane, formed close friendships with powerful older men. She described Castlereagh as her "dearest and best friend" until his death in 1822, when she transferred her affections to the other great 19th-century Anglo-Irish peer, the Duke of
401:
As a consequence of his unsatisfactory marriage, Wellington formed relationships with other women, but it was for
Arbuthnot that "he reserved his deepest affection." Her husband at this time was working at The Treasury and Arbuthnot in effect became what would today be termed Wellington's social
362:
during his divorce, and it is possible
Wellington had met, or at least heard of, Mrs Arbuthnot—she was a first cousin to his favourites the Burghersh family. However, it was only after the death of Castlereagh in 1822 that the Wellington–Arbuthnot friendship blossomed. It is unlikely any close
258:
between 1804 and 1807. Marriage to such a pillar of the establishment as
Charles Arbuthnot opened all doors to his young new wife, who, as one of the 14 children of a younger son of an aristocratic family possessed of no great fortune, would otherwise have been on the periphery of the highest
433:, of whom she wrote: "The family of the great General is, however, gone sadly to decay, and are but a disgrace to the illustrious name of Churchill, which they have chosen this moment to resume. The present Duke is overloaded with debt, is very little better than a common swindler".
204:
enough money on his sister to satisfy her future husband, causing the prospective bridegroom to write to his fiancée: "How can you and I live upon £1000 or £1200 and Fane finds it so impossible to live upon her £6000 that she can offer you no assistance whatsoever?"
481:
pension of £936 per annum (£107,000 per year as of 2024) since
January 1823, for 11 years. After her death, her husband, Charles, left Woodford House and lived with his close friend Wellington in Apsley House. He died there in 1850, aged 83.
153:. The house, which had been given to Henry Fane by his father, was a not over-large modern mansion at the time of Arbuthnot's childhood. It was rebuilt following a fire in 1733, and further extended and modernised in 1784 by Henry Fane.
137:
and in 1772 was appointed Keeper of the King's
Private Roads. In 1778, he married Arbuthnot's mother, Anne Batson, an heiress, the daughter of Edward Buckley Batson. The couple had 14 children: nine sons and five daughters.
357:
Amongst those sampling the rounds of entertainment in this lively environment were the newly married
Arbuthnots. Charles Arbuthnot was known to Wellington, as he had been a strong supporter of Wellington's younger brother
71:. She maintained a long correspondence and association with the Duke, all of which she recorded in her diaries, which are consequently extensively used in all authoritative biographies of the Duke of Wellington.
271:
causes. However, while she was the dominant partner, her conservative outlook ensured her continued favour among her elderly Tory admirers. During the early part of her marriage, her husband served as an
947:
425:
Many references in Arbuthnot's diary, however, are less respectful than those she accorded to the Duchess of Kent. Wellington and Arbuthnot often travelled together, and a visit to
343:
133:. As a young man, Henry Fane had been described as "very idle and careless and spending much time in the country". However, he found time to be the Member of Parliament for
318:
1727:
1722:
430:
303:
ambassador to London from 1812 to 1834, she wrote "It is curious that the loves and intrigues of a femme galante should have such influence over the affairs of Europe."
291:
When remarking in her diaries on other women who shared their affections with great men of the day, Arbuthnot displayed a sharp, ironic wit. Of Wellington's one-time
474:
1615:
1590:
1294:
306:
Her political observations are clearly written from her own Tory viewpoint. However, her detailed description of the rivalry for power between the Tories and
1620:
1610:
1605:
156:
Harriet Fane's father died when she was nine years old, on 4 June 1802, but the family fortunes improved considerably in 1810 when her mother inherited the
1687:
1600:
1595:
61:
1251:
388:
708:. Wellesley chose not to turn the customary blind eye and a huge scandal resulted. Wellington and Paget were later reconciled and it was Paget who at
1060:
415:
1471:
992:
323:
68:
1299:
277:
247:
134:
1682:
243:
1188:
1381:
1289:
939:
855:
705:
1692:
1284:
403:
232:
212:
126:
64:
734:
387:", scandalised Parisian society both English and French by appearing on Wellington's arm, especially after the arrival in Paris of the
52:; 10 September 1793 – 2 August 1834) was an early 19th-century English diarist, social observer and political hostess on behalf of the
1717:
1022:
437:
narration, accurate as to happenings outside the Tory inner circle, but on a broader scale and not so completely political as that of
1144:
1702:
1320:
1208:
1037:
359:
940:"Council officially launches film celebrating 'Inspirational Women' from Grantham and South Kesteven on International Women's Day"
1491:
1476:
1356:
1105:
193:
1043:
1697:
1192:
1055:
704:
The Wellesley divorce had occurred in 1810 after Henry Wellesley had discovered his wife, Charlotte, was having an affair with
498:
486:
917:
1366:
1279:
1244:
419:
220:
861:
1538:
1401:
1371:
376:
1564:
1443:
1340:
79:
1554:
1501:
1496:
1448:
1406:
1391:
462:
438:
712:
exclaimed to Wellington "By God, sir, I've lost my leg!"—to which Wellington replied, "By God, sir, so you have!"
1707:
1453:
1237:
1049:
273:
410:
Wellington made no attempts to conceal his friendship with Arbuthnot. An indication that their relationship was
1651:
1559:
1481:
1325:
1274:
726:
251:
1517:
1067:
449:
350:, and the city was crowded with English visitors anxious to travel on the continent and socialise after the
1641:
1396:
175:
75:
1427:
1130:
228:
912:
1712:
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they shared in 1824 provoked a scathing entry in her journal concerning Wellington's fellow duke the
395:
335:
285:
380:
330:
It is likely that Arbuthnot first came to the attention of Wellington during 1814 in the re-opened
310:
which took place between 1822 and 1830 is one of the most authoritative accounts of this struggle.
130:
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307:
201:
57:
1422:
1361:
1204:
1033:
1000:
979:
851:
368:
331:
189:
83:
1376:
1335:
1304:
1169:
1110:
510:
364:
292:
110:
1486:
1386:
1260:
722:
426:
351:
296:
224:
82:
and his wife, Anne, née Batson; she married a politician and member of the establishment,
197:
1636:
1574:
973:
470:
300:
255:
169:
122:
114:
91:
1666:
411:
94:
eras. Recording meetings and conversations often verbatim, she has today become the "
1135:
907:
529:
466:
157:
86:. Thus well connected, she was perfectly placed to meet many of the key figures of
26:
1122:
121:
Harriet Arbuthnot was born Harriet Fane on 10 September 1793, the daughter of the
845:
461:
on 2 August 1834, age 40, at Woodford Lodge, her home near the Arbuthnots' seat,
281:
242:. He had been a member of parliament since 1795, when he became the member for
239:
236:
87:
21:
1114:
465:, Northamptonshire. Immediately after her death an express message was sent to
208:
478:
418:
permitting Wellington to present Arbuthnot to her infant daughter, the future
414:
and accepted as such in the highest echelons of society can be drawn from the
44:
983:
884:
347:
161:
146:
1004:
494:
200:. It seems that Vere Fane and his mother were not initially prepared to
150:
56:
party. During the 1820s she was the closest woman friend of the hero of
1181:
490:
458:
372:
231:, had died in 1806. Like the other two men his second wife so admired,
223:
was a mere nine years junior to his new wife. His first wife Marcia, a
142:
469:, Wellington's London house. The messenger, however, had to divert to
407:
the Cabinet in January 1828 failed to shake the intimacy of the trio.
288:
this allowed increased not only his status but also that of his wife.
533:
165:
1145:"Review of "Wellington and the Arbuthnots: A Triangular Friendship""
453:
The Fane family plot, at Fulbeck, where Harriet Arbuthnot is buried.
363:
friendship developed before this time. Wellington, ensconced in the
141:
The young Harriet spent much of her childhood at the family home at
1229:
1173:
383:. This woman, known, due to her close friendship with Napoleon as "
448:
317:
260:
207:
174:
109:
20:
730:
339:
268:
53:
1233:
493:. She is one of a number of notable women with a connection to
172:
6,000 per annum (equivalent to £540,000 per year as of 2023).
477:. After Arbuthnot's death, it was revealed she had been on a
250:. He had briefly interrupted his political career to become
246:. At the time of his marriage to Fane, he was the member for
219:
Charles Arbuthnot was a widower with four children; his son
379:
Paris, had already found himself a close female companion,
1023:
Blenheim: The Grandest and Most Famous House in England
834:
Blenheim: The Grandest and Most Famous House in England
259:
society. However, as the debate and wrangling over her
1220:
Queen Victoria, her Life and Times. Vol. I (1819–1861)
1201:
Wellington and the Arbuthnots: a triangular friendship
235:
and Wellington, Charles Arbuthnot was a member of the
1103:
Longford, Elizabeth (2004). "Arbuthnot , Harriett".
1629:
1583:
1547:
1531:
1510:
1462:
1436:
1415:
1349:
1313:
1267:
1050:
Hobhouse, John. Diary from period in Constantinople
117:(right) MP (1739–1802), Harriet Arbuthnot's father
168:. This yielded the widowed Mrs Fane an income of
610:
608:
606:
587:
585:
583:
581:
485:Arbuthnot was buried in the Fane family plot at
367:(recently vacated by Napoleon's sister Princess
215:, Harriet Arbuthnot's "dearest and best friend."
1019:, Vol. 67, No. 262 (Jan. 1952), pp. 92–94.
972:Arbuthnot, Charles (1941). A. Aspinall (ed.).
721:The Burghershes were the family of John Fane,
682:
680:
678:
676:
674:
672:
1616:Keith Arbuthnott, 15th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1591:Robert Arbuthnott, 1st Viscount of Arbuthnott
1295:Keith Arbuthnott, 15th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1245:
725:, who was married to Wellington's niece Lady
544:
542:
8:
1621:John Arbuthnott, 16th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1611:John Arbuthnott, 14th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1606:John Arbuthnott, 10th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1109:(online ed.). Oxford University Press.
991:Arbuthnot, Harriet (1950). Francis Bamford;
803:
801:
640:
638:
1601:John Arbuthnott, 9th Viscount of Arbuthnott
1596:John Arbuthnott, 8th Viscount of Arbuthnott
662:
660:
658:
656:
654:
652:
650:
1252:
1238:
1230:
729:. Burghersh later succeeded to the family
280:, a position which gave him charge of the
1728:Deaths from cholera in the United Kingdom
1387:James Arbuthnot, Baron Arbuthnot of Edrom
1131:The pleasures and perils of life at No 10
532:is now in the Fundación Lázaro Galdiano,
1723:Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
1013:The Journal of Mrs. Arbuthnot, 1820–1832
997:The Journal of Mrs. Arbuthnot, 1820–1832
560:The Journal of Mrs. Arbuthnot, 1820–1832
1158:The Correspondence of Charles Arbuthnot
1106:Oxford Dictionary of National Biography
975:The Correspondence of Charles Arbuthnot
521:
473:, where Wellington was dining with the
773:Both quotes are from Longford, p. 141.
571:
569:
1321:Sir Alexander Dundas Young Arbuthnott
1139:, 7 June 2001. Retrieved 9 May 2007.
475:Marquess and Marchioness of Salisbury
342:. Wellington had been appointed the
43:
7:
1285:Sir Dalrymple Arbuthnot, 5th Baronet
1156:New, Chester W. (1942). "Review of "
978:. London: Royal Historical Society.
920:from the original on 13 August 2020
795:Weidenfeld and Nicolson 1972 p.127
402:secretary during his first term of
276:. Later, in 1823, he was given the
145:in Lincolnshire, sited high on the
1688:19th-century English women writers
1560:Sir Alexander John Arbuthnot, KCSI
1482:Sir Alexander John Arbuthnot, KCSI
1098:. London: Weidenfeld and Nicolson.
1096:Wellington, the Years of the Sword
1087:. Retrieved 9 May 2007. (53 pages)
1061:"Archivists' Report 17, 1965–1966"
14:
1275:Sir Charles George Arbuthnot, GCB
950:from the original on 1 April 2023
864:from the original on 17 July 2023
1046:, TourUK. Retrieved 9 May 2007.
1030:The Princess and the Politicians
334:of Paris following the exile of
1532:Artists, printers and musicians
1193:Northamptonshire County Council
1056:Lincolnshire Archives Committee
850:. Addison-Wesley. p. 313.
499:South Kesteven District Council
284:. The subsequent access to the
278:Department of Woods and Forests
274:Under-Secretary at the Treasury
74:Born into the periphery of the
1367:Charles George James Arbuthnot
1280:Charles George James Arbuthnot
1222:. London: Hamish Hamilton Ltd.
1203:. UK: Alan Sutton Publishing.
847:Wellington: A Personal History
1:
1683:19th-century English diarists
1402:Sir William Arbuthnot, 1st Bt
1218:Woodham-Smith, Cecil (1972).
1162:The Journal of Modern History
1143:Mullen, Richard (July 1995).
1017:The English Historical Review
844:Hibbert, Christopher (1997).
614:Lincolnshire archives, p. 20.
591:Lincolnshire archives, p. 19.
179:Portrait of Harriet Arbuthnot
30:
1565:Forster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot
1341:Sir Robert Arbuthnot, 4th Bt
1123:UK public library membership
314:Relationship with Wellington
188:Harriet Fane married Rt Hon
100:The Journal of Mrs Arbuthnot
1693:English political hostesses
793:Wellington- Pillar of State
558:Arbuthnot, Harriet (1950).
457:Arbuthnot died suddenly of
16:English diarist (1793–1834)
1744:
1497:Sir George Gough Arbuthnot
1477:Alexander George Arbuthnot
1407:William Reierson Arbuthnot
1392:Sir John Arbuthnot, 1st Bt
1377:Gerald Archibald Arbuthnot
385:La Chanteuse de l'Empereur
322:Harriet Arbuthnot was the
1718:Writers from Lincolnshire
1305:Sir Thomas Arbuthnot, KCB
1300:Sir Robert Arbuthnot, KCB
263:proved, money was tight.
164:and the Upwood Estate in
1703:Women of the Regency era
1652:Betty Carnegy-Arbuthnott
1326:Charles Ramsay Arbuthnot
1195:. Retrieved 9 May 2007.
727:Priscilla Wellesley-Pole
252:Ambassador Extraordinary
1511:Academics and educators
1463:Bankers, civil servants
1011:Aspinall, A: Review of
825:Woodham-Smith pp 92–114
431:5th Duke of Marlborough
326:"closest woman friend."
282:Royal parks and gardens
1698:British women diarists
1642:Lionel Gough Arbuthnot
1397:John Arbuthnot (mayor)
1331:Sir Geoffrey Arbuthnot
1115:10.1093/ref:odnb/37122
908:"THE IRON DUKE'S LADY"
782:Longford, pp. 130–140.
746:Longford, pp. 435–441.
454:
348:Court of the Tuileries
327:
216:
180:
118:
69:1st Duke of Wellington
36:
1428:Hugh James Arbuthnott
1052:retrieved 17 May 2007
1025:retrieved 15 May 2007
999:. London: Macmillan.
791:Longford, Elizabeth
452:
389:Duchess of Wellington
321:
211:
178:
113:
24:
1199:Smith, E.A. (1994).
816:Woodham-Smith, p 89.
233:Viscount Castlereagh
1555:Alexander Arbuthnot
1539:Alexander Arbuthnot
1518:Sir John Arbuthnott
1472:Alexander Arbuthnot
1449:Alexander Arbuthnot
1444:Alexander Arbuthnot
1357:Alexander Arbuthnot
1160:" by A. Aspinall".
1149:Contemporary Review
1092:Longford, Elizabeth
1032:Penguin Books Ltd.
735:Earl of Westmorland
381:Giuseppina Grassini
324:Duke of Wellingtons
131:Earl of Westmorland
78:, her parents were
76:British aristocracy
1647:Reginald Arbuthnot
1523:May Hill Arbuthnot
1382:Sir Hugh Arbuthnot
1290:Sir Hugh Arbuthnot
1129:Moncrieff, Chris.
632:Hobhouse, note 177
455:
344:British Ambassador
328:
217:
181:
119:
37:
1660:
1659:
1575:Dr John Arbuthnot
1570:Harriet Arbuthnot
1548:Writers and poets
1454:Charles Arbuthnot
1423:Charles Arbuthnot
1362:Charles Arbuthnot
1121:(Subscription or
913:Heritage Alive UK
897:New, pp. 384–385.
857:978-0-201-63232-3
755:Longford, p. 440.
686:Longford, p. 441.
548:Longford, p. 195.
528:This portrait by
229:Princess of Wales
227:to the notorious
190:Charles Arbuthnot
84:Charles Arbuthnot
40:Harriet Arbuthnot
1735:
1708:Arbuthnot family
1502:Robert Arbuthnot
1492:George Arbuthnot
1372:George Arbuthnot
1336:Mariot Arbuthnot
1261:Arbuthnot family
1254:
1247:
1240:
1231:
1223:
1214:
1185:
1152:
1126:
1118:
1099:
1086:
1082:
1080:
1078:
1073:on 26 March 2009
1072:
1066:. Archived from
1065:
1028:Charmley, John.
1008:
993:Gerald Wellesley
987:
960:
959:
957:
955:
946:. 8 March 2023.
944:Grantham Journal
936:
930:
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576:
573:
564:
563:
555:
549:
546:
537:
526:
511:List of diarists
445:Death and legacy
394:The story of a "
375:by the whole of
369:Pauline Borghese
365:Hotel de Charost
301:Imperial Russian
213:Lord Castlereagh
125:, second son of
51:
35:
32:
1743:
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1487:C. M. Arbuthnot
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963:
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938:
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892:
888:, 6 August 1834
881:
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579:
575:Longford, ODNB.
574:
567:
557:
556:
552:
547:
540:
527:
523:
519:
507:
489:parish church,
447:
427:Blenheim Palace
416:Duchess of Kent
352:Napoleonic Wars
316:
297:Dorothea Lieven
225:lady in waiting
186:
123:Hon. Henry Fane
115:Hon. Henry Fane
108:
33:
17:
12:
11:
5:
1741:
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1680:
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1658:
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1655:
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1644:
1639:
1637:Eric Arbuthnot
1633:
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27:John Hoppner
25:Portrait by
18:
1713:Fane family
1678:1834 deaths
1673:1793 births
1465:and traders
1350:Politicians
404:premiership
377:Restoration
240:aristocracy
237:Anglo-Irish
127:Thomas Fane
88:the Regency
34: 1805
1667:Categories
1125:required.)
966:References
807:Moncrieff.
733:to become
706:Lord Paget
644:Arbuthnot.
479:civil list
248:St Germans
194:Parliament
160:estate in
106:Early life
92:Napoleonic
80:Henry Fane
1630:Sportsmen
1584:Viscounts
1416:Diplomats
885:The Times
695:Charmley.
666:Aspinall.
501:in 2023.
295:Princess
244:East Looe
162:Hampshire
147:limestone
90:and late
1314:Admirals
1268:Generals
1094:(1969).
995:(eds.).
984:15746373
948:Archived
918:Archived
882:"News",
862:Archived
710:Waterloo
505:See also
495:Grantham
412:platonic
336:Napoleon
308:Liberals
293:mistress
184:Marriage
151:Grantham
58:Waterloo
1182:1874548
1005:2731598
954:1 April
868:31 July
731:earldom
491:Fulbeck
459:cholera
346:to the
254:to the
221:Charles
62:British
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1036:
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924:23 May
854:
764:Smith.
623:Mullen
534:Madrid
371:) and
332:salons
202:settle
166:Dorset
129:, 8th
67:, the
47:
1178:JSTOR
1071:(PDF)
1064:(PDF)
517:Notes
373:fêted
360:Henry
261:dowry
1205:ISBN
1079:2007
1034:ISBN
1001:OCLC
980:OCLC
956:2023
926:2020
870:2019
852:ISBN
340:Elba
269:Tory
135:Lyme
60:and
54:Tory
49:Fane
1170:doi
1111:doi
338:to
45:née
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