853:
1071:. Take a look through what you've written and ask yourself, "Would a reasonably-literate reader want or need to learn more about this term in order to better understand the article?" If the answer is "yes", then link it. (But no need to go overboard with it. Items that are readily understood by a literate reader do not need to be blue-linked. For example, there is no need to blue-link the names of Boston and Paris. More detail can be found at
443:
273:
246:
930:
909:
940:
825:
116:
176:
158:
1067:
needs more of this kind of thing. For example, the names of the newspapers at which di Rosa worked should be linked (assuming that
Knowledge articles on them exist). And so too for every term that has a Knowledge article that provides additional information that would be relevant to a reader who wanted to learn more. Offhand, I'd say that this applies to the lesser-known geographic terms such as
373:
22:
64:
843:
78:
53:
283:
1160:
would read that sentence and wonder "what wines?" Does that seem to work? After re-reading it many more times, I am also hoping it is clear that the sale to
Seagrams was only part of the property (half, roughly) and that Rene remained on the other half, which is where di Rosa is now. I really appreciate this. It's a lot of work, but a great process.
186:
1078:
On a more subjective note, the statement about UC Davis having a "vibrant art department" seems superfluous. Unless you are able to demonstrate that the department is indeed "vibrant" and that there is some linkage between that "vibrancy" and di Rosa's decision to start collecting art, the statement
1066:
As of now, this draft is what is sometimes called a "dead end", because there are no wiki-links inside the body of the article. Shortly after I post these comments, I'll go back to the draft and replace your reference to
Knowledge with a wiki-linked (also called "blue-linked") name. But the article
1037:
There is some uncertainty as to the size of the land purchased by Mr. di Rosa. The draft says that it was 460 acres, the Google books reference says it was 400 acres and another (I forget which) says 450 acres. I see two ways to approach this. First, you can decide that this figure isn't important
1082:
Maybe I'm not understanding something basic, but I got a bit confused in the "Lake
Vineyard" section. You state that Winery Lake was selling to other vineyards, but your sole example is one that was co-owned by di Rosa. So, that very much weakens the point of saying that his product was in demand
1159:
Thank you so much. The lack of authors on those articles was an oversight and has been corrected, as well as the video URL. I also found another article about Acacia winery's 1983 gold medal for their Winery Lake
Chardonnay. So I added the Belvedere/Acacia references back in, as I do think people
1132:
I just did some copy-editing and similar work on the draft. There were only two substantive changes. First, I see that I neglected to specify the section in which I had concerns about close paraphrasing, so I just went ahead and did the rewrite myself. Also, I removed the reference to the ZD
1062:
template with respect to identifying the authors of the sources. Sometimes you give the author's name; sometimes you don't. Good practice, of course, calls for attributing the author in all cases. Also note that one of your references is a bare URL, which needs to be
1136:
The reference to the video (now footnote 12) remains a bare URL. Also, the references to two of the news articles (Napa
Register and MetroActive) still do not identify the authors. Were these oversights, or do you have some reason for not providing that information?
1038:
and simply remove the statement from the draft. Or, choose which of the figures comes from the source that you believe to be the most reliable, but then note the discrepancies as an annotation to the footnote reference. That annotation would come after the
1133:
winery. The source didn't mention anything about di Rosa or Winery Lake. That left
Belvedere as the only winery mentioned in the sentence, and that just didn't seem right. So I took that name out as well, but left the source as a reference.
1164:
I enjoyed working with you. I hope you'll stick around to write more articles. If you do, you'll find that the "work" part of it gets easier when you know in advance what details need to be assembled. Happy editing!
1048:
template, but still inside the reference bracket. It might say something like "Other sources give different figures for the acreage. NAME OF SOURCE gives the figure as __ acres and NAME OF SOURCE gives it as ____
89:. The project works to allow users to contribute quality articles and media files to the encyclopedia and track their progress as they are developed. To participate, please visit the
381:
256:
1194:
768:
1219:
333:
1229:
1224:
1214:
677:
1244:
1002:
992:
90:
85:
58:
309:
1249:
1239:
1209:
1204:
724:
Just about all of them! Any pictures of wine regions, grape varieties or wine would be useful. In particular we need wine region maps that can be
204:
968:
795:
343:
1031:
In addition to the concern about paraphrasing mentioned on the draft itself, I see several other items that should be addressed. They are:
296:
251:
208:
140:
386:
1234:
212:
1199:
1189:
203:, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Knowledge's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
63:
953:
914:
787:
875:
739:
199:
163:
658:
772:
753:
719:
725:
637:
544:
1075:.) And going back to those newspaper names, whether or not they have Knowledge articles, the names should be italicized.
536:
509:
465:
33:
474:
866:
830:
743:
734:
686:
493:
454:
404:
308:
related articles on
Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
1170:
1142:
1094:
528:
134:
21:
757:
532:
501:
1072:
703:
39:
470:
1127:
1115:
1111:
1026:
1166:
1154:
1138:
1105:
1090:
497:
489:
483:
130:
967:
on
Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
874:
on
Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
642:
852:
1056:
1042:
945:
442:
569:
191:
650:
565:
553:
695:
617:
523:
272:
245:
1183:
561:
557:
514:
711:
613:
609:
593:
577:
929:
908:
1068:
858:
842:
824:
707:
625:
585:
581:
288:
175:
157:
963:
958:
935:
848:
691:
629:
605:
601:
518:
278:
181:
115:
372:
1089:
I think that's all I have. If I see anything else, I'll come back here.
668:
646:
589:
664:
573:
282:
699:
597:
1174:
1146:
1119:
1098:
77:
52:
211:. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
621:
305:
871:
549:
301:
15:
371:
114:
957:, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of the
1083:
by other vineyards. Unless I'm missing something ... .
803:
799:
791:
430:
425:
420:
415:
125:
870:, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
300:, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
354:
1020:Discussion during review at Articles for Creation
776:
384:, a project which is currently considered to be
8:
99:Knowledge:WikiProject Articles for creation
19:
903:
819:
678:Unreferenced biographies of living persons
399:
351:
240:
152:
102:Template:WikiProject Articles for creation
83:This article was reviewed by member(s) of
47:
1110:- I really appreciate this, thank you. --
1195:AfC submissions by date/04 November 2016
1052:You are inconsistent in your use of the
663:Cleanup lists of wine-related articles:
905:
821:
242:
154:
49:
1220:Low-importance Food and drink articles
775:. Add to the Wikiquote page for wine:
1230:Start-Class WikiProject Arts articles
7:
951:This article is within the scope of
864:This article is within the scope of
744:Nominations for top level importance
380:This article is within the scope of
318:Knowledge:WikiProject Food and drink
294:This article is within the scope of
197:This article is within the scope of
1225:WikiProject Food and drink articles
1215:Start-Class Food and drink articles
451:Here are some tasks you can do for
321:Template:WikiProject Food and drink
38:It is of interest to the following
1245:Low-importance California articles
14:
86:WikiProject Articles for creation
977:Knowledge:WikiProject California
938:
928:
907:
851:
841:
823:
475:Great Wine Capitals of the World
441:
281:
271:
244:
184:
174:
156:
76:
62:
51:
20:
1250:WikiProject California articles
1240:Start-Class California articles
997:This article has been rated as
980:Template:WikiProject California
338:This article has been rated as
221:Knowledge:WikiProject Biography
129:on 4 November 2016 by reviewer
123:This article was accepted from
1210:WikiProject Biography articles
1205:Start-Class biography articles
754:Template:Infobox grape variety
224:Template:WikiProject Biography
1:
971:and see a list of open tasks.
878:and see a list of open tasks.
312:and see a list of open tasks.
1175:19:01, 4 November 2016 (UTC)
1147:02:59, 4 November 2016 (UTC)
1120:20:30, 3 November 2016 (UTC)
1099:20:25, 3 November 2016 (UTC)
1079:doesn't belong in the draft.
786:
209:contribute to the discussion
1266:
1003:project's importance scale
884:Knowledge:WikiProject Arts
344:project's importance scale
297:WikiProject Food and drink
1235:WikiProject Arts articles
996:
923:
890:WikiProject Arts articles
887:Template:WikiProject Arts
836:
398:
379:
350:
337:
266:
169:
122:
71:
46:
1200:Accepted AfC submissions
1190:Start-Class AfC articles
529:wine serving temperature
758:Template:Infobox winery
533:Western Australian wine
502:Western Australian wine
324:Food and drink articles
954:WikiProject California
769:grape article template
376:
119:
28:This article is rated
740:Operation stub-killer
704:Robert M. Parker, Jr.
375:
200:WikiProject Biography
118:
96:Articles for creation
93:for more information.
59:Articles for creation
669:articles by category
537:Start class articles
983:California articles
492:, particularly the
355:Related taskforces:
643:Cabernet Sauvignon
377:
227:biography articles
120:
34:content assessment
1017:
1016:
1013:
1012:
1009:
1008:
946:California portal
902:
901:
898:
897:
818:
817:
814:
813:
810:
809:
785:
784:
471:Sebastiani family
403:WikiProject Wine
394:
393:
239:
238:
235:
234:
151:
150:
147:
146:
1257:
1158:
1131:
1109:
1061:
1055:
1047:
1041:
1030:
985:
984:
981:
978:
975:
948:
943:
942:
941:
932:
925:
924:
919:
911:
904:
892:
891:
888:
885:
882:
867:WikiProject Arts
861:
856:
855:
845:
838:
837:
827:
820:
570:Champagne (wine)
488:any of the ~700
455:WikiProject Wine
445:
437:
436:
400:
382:Wines task force
362:
352:
326:
325:
322:
319:
316:
291:
286:
285:
275:
268:
267:
262:
259:
248:
241:
229:
228:
225:
222:
219:
205:join the project
194:
192:Biography portal
189:
188:
187:
178:
171:
170:
160:
153:
128:
107:
106:
103:
100:
97:
80:
73:
72:
67:
66:
65:
55:
48:
31:
25:
24:
16:
1265:
1264:
1260:
1259:
1258:
1256:
1255:
1254:
1180:
1179:
1152:
1125:
1103:
1059:
1053:
1045:
1039:
1024:
1022:
982:
979:
976:
973:
972:
944:
939:
937:
917:
889:
886:
883:
880:
879:
857:
850:
806:
781:
767:Comment on the
651:Sauvignon blanc
566:California wine
554:Australian wine
466:Article request
446:
435:
360:
323:
320:
317:
314:
313:
287:
280:
260:
254:
226:
223:
220:
217:
216:
190:
185:
183:
124:
104:
101:
98:
95:
94:
61:
32:on Knowledge's
29:
12:
11:
5:
1263:
1261:
1253:
1252:
1247:
1242:
1237:
1232:
1227:
1222:
1217:
1212:
1207:
1202:
1197:
1192:
1182:
1181:
1178:
1177:
1167:NewYorkActuary
1155:NewYorkActuary
1150:
1149:
1139:NewYorkActuary
1134:
1106:NewYorkActuary
1091:NewYorkActuary
1087:
1086:
1085:
1084:
1080:
1076:
1073:WP:OVERLINKING
1064:
1050:
1021:
1018:
1015:
1014:
1011:
1010:
1007:
1006:
999:Low-importance
995:
989:
988:
986:
969:the discussion
950:
949:
933:
921:
920:
918:Low‑importance
912:
900:
899:
896:
895:
893:
876:the discussion
863:
862:
846:
834:
833:
828:
816:
815:
812:
811:
808:
807:
783:
782:
780:
779:
777:Wikiquote wine
761:
760:
747:
746:
730:
729:
728:for Knowledge.
715:
714:
696:Cabernet franc
682:
681:
673:
672:
654:
653:
638:Articles to FA
633:
632:
618:Sparkling wine
545:Articles to GA
540:
539:
524:Vitis vinifera
505:
504:
479:
478:
461:
448:
447:
440:
434:
433:
428:
423:
418:
412:
409:
408:
396:
395:
392:
391:
378:
368:
367:
365:
363:
357:
356:
348:
347:
340:Low-importance
336:
330:
329:
327:
315:Food and drink
310:the discussion
293:
292:
276:
264:
263:
261:Low‑importance
252:Food and drink
249:
237:
236:
233:
232:
230:
196:
195:
179:
167:
166:
161:
149:
148:
145:
144:
131:NewYorkActuary
121:
111:
110:
108:
81:
69:
68:
56:
44:
43:
37:
26:
13:
10:
9:
6:
4:
3:
2:
1262:
1251:
1248:
1246:
1243:
1241:
1238:
1236:
1233:
1231:
1228:
1226:
1223:
1221:
1218:
1216:
1213:
1211:
1208:
1206:
1203:
1201:
1198:
1196:
1193:
1191:
1188:
1187:
1185:
1176:
1172:
1168:
1163:
1162:
1161:
1156:
1148:
1144:
1140:
1135:
1129:
1124:
1123:
1122:
1121:
1117:
1113:
1107:
1101:
1100:
1096:
1092:
1081:
1077:
1074:
1070:
1065:
1058:
1051:
1044:
1036:
1035:
1034:
1033:
1032:
1028:
1019:
1004:
1000:
994:
991:
990:
987:
970:
966:
965:
960:
956:
955:
947:
936:
934:
931:
927:
926:
922:
916:
913:
910:
906:
894:
877:
873:
869:
868:
860:
854:
849:
847:
844:
840:
839:
835:
832:
829:
826:
822:
805:
801:
797:
793:
789:
778:
774:
773:grape infobox
770:
766:
763:
762:
759:
755:
752:
749:
748:
745:
741:
738:
736:
735:Collaboration
732:
731:
727:
723:
721:
720:Photo request
717:
716:
713:
709:
705:
701:
697:
693:
690:
688:
684:
683:
680:
679:
675:
674:
670:
666:
662:
660:
656:
655:
652:
648:
644:
641:
639:
635:
634:
631:
627:
623:
619:
615:
611:
607:
603:
599:
595:
591:
587:
583:
579:
575:
571:
567:
563:
562:Burgundy wine
559:
558:Bordeaux wine
555:
551:
548:
546:
542:
541:
538:
534:
530:
526:
525:
520:
516:
515:Canadian wine
513:
511:
507:
506:
503:
499:
498:miscellaneous
495:
491:
487:
485:
481:
480:
476:
472:
469:
467:
463:
462:
460:
458:
457:
456:
449:
444:
439:
438:
432:
429:
427:
424:
422:
419:
417:
414:
413:
411:
410:
406:
402:
401:
397:
389:
388:
383:
374:
370:
369:
366:
364:
359:
358:
353:
349:
345:
341:
335:
332:
331:
328:
311:
307:
303:
299:
298:
290:
284:
279:
277:
274:
270:
269:
265:
258:
253:
250:
247:
243:
231:
214:
213:documentation
210:
206:
202:
201:
193:
182:
180:
177:
173:
172:
168:
165:
162:
159:
155:
142:
139:
136:
132:
127:
117:
113:
112:
109:
92:
88:
87:
82:
79:
75:
74:
70:
60:
57:
54:
50:
45:
41:
35:
27:
23:
18:
17:
1151:
1102:
1088:
1023:
998:
962:
952:
865:
764:
750:
733:
718:
712:Rioja (wine)
685:
676:
665:all articles
657:
636:
614:Spanish wine
610:Rioja (wine)
594:Italian wine
578:Dessert wine
543:
522:
508:
482:
464:
453:
452:
450:
385:
339:
295:
198:
137:
105:AfC articles
91:project page
84:
40:WikiProjects
1069:Napa Valley
859:Arts portal
771:and on the
708:Pinot blanc
626:Tempranillo
586:German wine
582:French wine
289:Food portal
30:Start-class
1184:Categories
1128:Karadirosa
1112:Karadirosa
1063:formatted.
1027:Karadirosa
974:California
964:California
959:U.S. state
915:California
630:Winemaking
606:Pinot noir
602:Pinot gris
519:Greek wine
490:wine stubs
405:open tasks
126:this draft
218:Biography
164:Biography
1057:cite web
1043:cite web
751:Infobox:
726:licensed
687:Copyedit
647:Riesling
590:Grenache
535:, other
500:" ones,
387:inactive
141:contribs
1049:acres."
1001:on the
800:history
796:discuss
692:Aligoté
659:Cleanup
574:Chianti
510:Improve
421:history
342:on the
765:Other:
700:Malbec
598:Merlot
494:region
484:Expand
36:scale.
804:watch
622:Syrah
496:and "
431:purge
426:watch
306:drink
1171:talk
1143:talk
1116:talk
1095:talk
881:Arts
872:Arts
831:Arts
792:edit
788:view
667:and
550:Wine
416:edit
304:and
302:food
257:Wine
207:and
135:talk
993:Low
961:of
576:,
334:Low
1186::
1173:)
1145:)
1118:)
1097:)
1060:}}
1054:{{
1046:}}
1040:{{
802:•
798:•
794:•
790:•
756:,
742:,
710:,
706:,
702:,
698:,
694:,
649:,
645:,
628:,
624:,
620:,
616:,
612:,
608:,
604:,
600:,
596:,
592:,
588:,
584:,
580:,
572:,
568:,
564:,
560:,
556:,
552:,
531:,
527:,
521:,
517:,
473:,
459::
361:/
255::
143:).
1169:(
1157::
1153:@
1141:(
1130::
1126:@
1114:(
1108::
1104:@
1093:(
1029::
1025:@
1005:.
737::
722::
689::
671:.
661::
640::
547::
512::
486::
477:.
468::
407::
390:.
346:.
215:.
138:·
133:(
42::
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.
