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Thanks for ALT10. I cut some of the ones I had suggested out. Since I am not the reviewer, I am literally fine with any hook that the reviewer/s and volunteer editor/s choose. I guess this is my second
Kashmir hook finding its way to the end of the DYK nom list. Not fun, though I guess it comes with
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here. The hooks as proposed are too abstract to appeal to those outside India. Remember that
Knowledge is an international project, and hooks are expected to appeal to a worldwide audience, not just Indians. Thinking of hooks have been challenging as much of what I found to be eye-catching involve
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But this “International audience” is a dicey thing. An Indian wouldn’t be able to understand all Indian history related hooks. A Portuguese wouldn’t understand a
Spanish hook even though they are neighbours. An American sports fan wouldn’t be adept with American economics or
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The
February 2016 cultural evening organised in JNU against the “judicial killings of Afzal Guru and Maqbool Bhat', the aftermath of which still reverberates across the country, was titled 'The Country Without a Post Office', after the Agha Shahid Ali poem. (THE
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the highly contentious conflict in
Kashmir. If Kashmir conflict-related hooks are to be avoided, one suggestion I could give could be a hook about how the poem inspired a Right to Information Act request for the actual number of post offices in Kashmir.
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I don't quite follow. By saying it isn't Indian
English do you mean that the sentence structure is bad in general, or how someone other than an Indian would talk. I can give it for copyedit if you think the grammar is that bad. My bad.
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When the event organised to discuss Afzal Guru’s hanging in JNU was named after Shahid’s poem, it wasn’t to claim that India lacked post offices — but to link a protest for
Kashmir’s freedom to the voice of a beloved poet.(THE INDIAN
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Please remember that you're trying to attract an international audience that isn't acquainted with or emotional about the topic. You have enough information in the Impact and legacy section alone to come up with a punchy hook.
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they are citing the title. In the second paragraph of "Impact and legacy", please explain in a few words what the revocation of
Article 370 was, so we can understand what the poem's title has to do with it. Thanks,
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Agha Shahid Ali’s collection of poems, The
Country Without a Post Office, published in 1997, entered the Indian Parliament a week ago, when BJP ministers mistook the country in Shahid’s poem for India
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ALT1: I've changed a couple of prepositions. I do worry it doesn't connect to the poem connection enough. That said, I think it's the best option of these. (Also, "accused" has one S.)
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If there's a better hook that's recognizable to international readers and is focused on the poem collection, it may be better than ALT1, but that's the only hook I like right now.
1722:. Each hook is properly cited, mentioned inline, verified by the sources, and are reasonably interesting to a broad audience. The article appears to meet all other DYK criteria.
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The title of the poem derives from an incident that occurred in 1990, when
Kashmir rebelled against Indian rule, resulting in hundreds of gruesome and violent deaths, fires...
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I understand that each hook much reach a “universal audience”, not only an “international one”. A universal audience within our own country as well as others.
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In "Impact and legacy" please explain in a few words what the revocation of Article 370 was, so we can understand what the poem's title has to do with it.
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ALT0 looks good to me, and possibly to others who know the JNU saga but never knew where the title came from. I can't think of any better hooks. --
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OK, I gave the article a thorough edit. I tried to add another sentence showing notability to the lead, but it needs to be embellished, to explain
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Hi, I came by to promote this, but ALT1 is too long and really isn't about the subject. The article also needs copyediting for English grammar.
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yes, the article looks much better now. Thanks for the expansion. Would you now like to propose other hooks so we can finish up this review?
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675:(which is how it's spelled on page 24 of ref 5 Ali). The redlink is an invitation for readers to fill in the missing article. –
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I have tried addressing the questions, as well as making more changes to other sections of the article. I hope it is ok now?
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ALT0: The abbreviation JNU is likely not recognizable enough for readers outside of India (I know I had to click the link).
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on Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the ongoing discussions.
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Sorry for the delay in replying. The editing done makes the article much better. Two main points have been asked:
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There are a lot of hook options here...I'll come around to that in a minute. This is new enough and long enough,
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I'll try to think of some hooks by later, but I'm currently travelling and won't be in the hotel until tonight.
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There are people who are not acquainted with or emotional about this topic within India, within Kashmir.
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as "a land of doomed addresses" in the 1990s, as postal services were stopped for seven months?
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Maybe now with this expansion different DYK hooks can be chosen too, apart from the one above.
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Thanks. I'll take a look at the alt later. But it's not Indian English to begin sentences with
882:"The Country without a Post Office" was originally published as "Kashmir without a Post Office"
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Any suggestions for another DYK hook above... or ways to improve the article? Regards
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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below.
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bears witness to the tragedy in Kashmir and the author wants the peace to return.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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Thank you for the suggestion. I redlinked the name and corrected the typo.
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Ali bears witness to the tragedy in Kashmir and wants the peace to return.
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A new review is needed to check ALT6, ALT6a, and ALT10. Courtesy ping to
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Will try to answer these and make the changes in the article accordingly.
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Template:Did you know nominations/The Country Without a Post Office
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The poem was penned down against the backdrop of an armed uprising
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is about the tragedy of Kashmir, the author is hopeful of the
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Following my above suggestion, how does the following sound?
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ALT4: You kind of have to know James Merrill to get this one.
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request for the actual number of post offices in the region?
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So after this soliloquy, those hooks still remain. Gung ho!
667:, is this University of Pennsylvania professor Suvir Kaul? (
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I'm sorry, I don't find these ALTs hooky at all. Perhaps
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I agree with finding a more interesting hook. I’m trying.
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was originally called 'Kashmir Without a Post Office'?
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71:. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at
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Rereading the discussion above, I have to agree with
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B-Class Jammu and Kashmir articles of Mid-importance
539:, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
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Still looking for better hooks; maybe an image too.
1000:I don't see any textual issues. As to the hooks...
907:Dedicated to Ali’s life-long friend James Merrill
1801:B-Class United States articles of Low-importance
1605:... that the popularity of the poem collection "
182:, which aims to improve Knowledge's coverage of
456:. To improve this article, please refer to the
822:... that the 2016 cultural event organised at
8:
1445:: ... that although the collection of poems
733:No further edits should be made to this page
1013:ALT2: This just doesn't...read right to me.
671:) If so, I think this should be given as
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452:. To use this banner, please refer to the
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1771:Mid-importance Jammu and Kashmir articles
44:). The text of the entry was as follows:
1761:B-Class India articles of Low-importance
450:discuss matters related to book articles
1296:It needs to be embellished, to explain
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69:Knowledge:Recent additions/2020/March
67:A record of the entry may be seen at
7:
1434:metaphor of letters and post-offices
533:This article is within the scope of
436:This article is within the scope of
307:This article is within the scope of
176:This article is within the scope of
1124:You make a fair point on the hook.
799:'The Country Without a Post Office'
354:Knowledge:WikiProject United States
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1253:Here is a suggested tweak of ALT6:
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547:and see a list of open tasks.
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315:United States of America
40:column on 7 March 2020 (
30:appeared on Knowledge's
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