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grease in general); many of the claims aren't referenced (although references for some of the claims can be found in the sources for the
Atkinsons article, many are unsupported); there is some blurring of the source statements (for example "In the British market, the grease from Russian bears was the most highly prized" "In the British market" isn't what the source says); there is an uncited explanation of the Cruikshank cartoon (if it doesn't need citing perhaps it doesn't need explaining); the section on use by the Native Americans is so reduced from the source as to be almost useless. (Apart from that and the uncited hook, everything is fine!)
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Good enough...it still sets out bear's grease solely as a hair loss treatment in the opening and ALT4 still isn't supported by the sources (we don't know if it was "popular", though I'm sure it was more popular than I'm making myself on this nomination). ALT5 is fine though, as it doesn't disenchant
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explains why people believed in this treatment but doesn't actually say that they were wrong. I suppose the truth of the matter is that we really don't know for sure because proper clinical trials have not been done. The ALT1 hook seems to err in the other direction and might naively be read as
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Long enough, new enough, no copyvio or plagiarism, neutral. QPQ done. The line on the Native
American use is too close to the source. I have a few problems with this article though: it sets out a topic ("Bear's Grease", a baldness treatment) and then largely focuses on another (the uses of bear
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I recommend that we conduct a full clinical trial on the matter before proceeding. I would also like to know whether eating more fish makes you a better swimmer and if carrots help you see in the dark. Or, we could go with
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any current bear's grease users by issuing an absolute statement that it doesn't work. Picture is fine too if you want to try levering it into ALT5 somehow .
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This leaves the reader wondering why there would be a popular brand of bear's grease and they may click through to find out what people used it for.
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Edwx, Vict, Phila, can you go off at your leisure and do what needs to be done, then get back to us when the article's ready?
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Oh, go put bear grease on your cat. Or whatever. Andrew, can you fix the article to accommodate this hook?
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There's no citation for ALT4 and it differs from what the article states anyway (ALT parade meet my rain)
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The article is interesting and promising but the hook needs more work as we're within the scope of
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To find the middle ground, we might just trim the original hook. Here's some examples:
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Apologies for the delay. I think that I've now addressed all the outstanding issues.
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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below.
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Another way to go is to focus on the picture, which we're not currently using.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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is intriguing and needs little elaboration to create a good hook.
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why?, oh why?? do we insist in nominating within 7 days???
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558:) 23:18, 31 July 2014 (UTC) P.S. I like ALT4
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202:: Tweaking of hook or ALTs welcome
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468:I seem to have said this already.
45:Knowledge (XXG) talk:Did you know
18:Template:Did you know nominations
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89:Reviewer instructions
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16:<
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