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Article: "The ship is built using high-tensile steel and employs very low under water voice signature. It features the ‘X’ form of hull and superstructure resulting in a very low radar cross section. Also, the hull form reportedly highly efficient with excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability
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Your text: "The ships is the first Indian ship to feature a carbon fiber reinforced plastic (CFRP) superstructure integrated with the steel hull of the ship. Besides reducing the weight, the use of composites also improves stealth characteristics and reduces life cycle maintenance
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1. The close paraphrasing has been changed, but I'm not completely happy yet. For example "The hull form of the ships is reported to be highly efficient and is said to possess excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics." is close to the source's "Also,
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1. The close paraphrasing issues and contradiction between the article and the source need to be fixed. 2. The missing citations need to be added. 3. Hook and article both need to say what the sources are actually saying, that the ship is being
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Although not vital for DYK, I also think that a decision should be made if the article is to use she or it in reference to the ship, right now the article uses both. Also, INS Shivalik is missing italics. And what does "4,000 nm (0.00016 in)"
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to feature a carbon fiber reinforced plastic (CFRP) superstructure integrated with the steel hull of the ship. Besides reducing the weight, the use of composites improves stealth characteristics and reduces life cycle maintenance
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Source: "The P 28 class ships feature the ‘X’ form of hull and superstructure which give the ships a low radar cross section. Also, the hull form is highly efficient with excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability
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Your text: It is equipped with a 'rail-less helo traversing system' to handle a helicopter on board the ship, a foldable hangar door, and uses indigenous DMR 249A steel and carbon fibre reinforced plastic
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The high-tensile steel bit in the article is actually contradicted by the cited source, which states that the original intention was to use high-tensile steel, but that local steel was used instead.
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Well, I'd wished that you'd written those things, which are relevant, in your own words rather than removing them. The article is weaker without them. By my count the article is only
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A1: New enough. A2: Long enough (expanded). A3: Neutral. Cites sources, but some cites are missing. Some issues also with regards to the text being too similar to the sources.
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This is copy-vio, and strictly forbidden on
Knowledge. You can't simply copy stuff, like you've clearly done here. Rewrite it, using your own words.
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H1: Short enough hook. H2: I find the hook very interesting, it is cited, and it is neutral. However, it isn't really being built
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Nominator appears to only have four DYKs (QPQ check says three, but Strike Eagle's talk says four), so QPQ is not a requirement.
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1. More serious issues here. It's not okay to copy the source text, and then change a few words. We have to write our articles
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equipped with a 'rail-less helo traversing system' to handle a helicopter on board the ship, foldable hangar door
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I've removed the close-paraphrasings and made other fixes..extremely sorry for all the mess... Thanks,
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it. 4. I think that the hook fact shouldn't just be in the article's lead, but in the main body also.
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And at least two of the references are incorrectly formatted. That will also need to be fixed.
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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below.
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It looks like it's good enough. One small note: The sources say 3800 KW diesel engines, not
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384:. I have to ask, why do you copy the text of the sources? That's not allowed, you know?
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So, for this nomination to be successful, the following issues needs to be resolved:
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4. I'd still like to see the hook fact in the body of the article, not just in
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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3. Hook fact has been fixed in the article, but please do so in the hook too.
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I've added them all in my own words...hope it's good to go now... :)
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indigenous DMR 249A steel and carbon fibre reinforced plastic (CFRP)
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4. I'm happy to see the hook fact in the body of the article now.
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When these issues are resolved, I think this can be a good DYK.
321:" (my emphasis) Quotes need to be clearly marked as such.
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excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics
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237:the Indian Navy, is it? Rather, it is being built
290:I think I have fixed them all... :) Thanks,
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49:No further edits should be made to this page
478:a fivefold expansion now, and very basic.
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565:Passed DYK nominations from June 2013
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350:Please see it now.. :) Thanks,
394:Source: The P-28 ASW corvettes are
337:Pronoun and italics issues fixed.
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18:Template:Did you know nominations
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32:Please do not modify this page.
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438:The ship has an endurance of
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324:2. Sufficient citations now.
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45:Knowledge talk:Did you know
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125:Find sources (notability)
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41:the article's talk page
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115:A Simple Word Counter
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63:Pumpkin
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533:Done
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