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neighbour, Lucelle
Deldonck, who revealed that she was a British intelligence agent, and wished to recruit Cnockaert to spy for the Allies." vs "Early in 1915 Marthe was sent to Roeselare, north-east of Ypres, where she was reunited with her parents and where she continued to work as a nurse at a military hospital. At this time she was approached by an old family friend, Lucelle Deldonck, who revealed herself as an agent for British intelligence and who wanted to recruit Marthe into espionage work for the allies.", or "arranging the murder of her German lodger, Otto, who tried to recruit her to spy on the British" vs "arranged the murder of the German who tried to recruit her to spy on the British". I also note that some citations, including one supporting part of the hook, lack page numbers.
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I have concerns about potential close paraphrasing in this article. Compare, for example, "In 1915, she was sent to the city of
Roeselare, where she was reunited with her parents and continued to work at a military hospital. Around this time, she was approached by a family friend and former
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Seems good to me. The sources are mostly offline and so are accepted in good faith. Date of creation and length are fine. I prefer the first hook as the second is not an entirely accurate description of what is written in the article.
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Punctuation matters. The original wording had the unfortunate effect of misidentifying the German Iron Cross as "a
British certificate for gallantry." --
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was recruited as a spy by both
Germany and Britain, and she arranged for her German recruiter to be killed? --
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reworded main hook is only one word different, but okay with me. Still think it's better than the alts.
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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below.
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to become a spy, and the
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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and a
British certificate for gallantry, as well as membership in the French
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Thanks, Orlady. I'd never thought of that. :-) --
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Both hooks would benefit from rewording, as follows:
253:in Belgium during World War I earned her a German
98:in Belgium during World War I earned her a German
203:It looks to me that the author has made enough
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347:Passed DYK nominations from January 2012
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271:: ... that during World War I,
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45:Knowledge talk:Did you know
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16:<
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