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Thanks for ALT10. I cut some of the ones I had suggested out. Since I am not the reviewer, I am literally fine with any hook that the reviewer/s and volunteer editor/s choose. I guess this is my second
Kashmir hook finding its way to the end of the DYK nom list. Not fun, though I guess it comes with
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here. The hooks as proposed are too abstract to appeal to those outside India. Remember that
Knowledge is an international project, and hooks are expected to appeal to a worldwide audience, not just Indians. Thinking of hooks have been challenging as much of what I found to be eye-catching involve
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But this “International audience” is a dicey thing. An Indian wouldn’t be able to understand all Indian history related hooks. A Portuguese wouldn’t understand a
Spanish hook even though they are neighbours. An American sports fan wouldn’t be adept with American economics or
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The
February 2016 cultural evening organised in JNU against the “judicial killings of Afzal Guru and Maqbool Bhat', the aftermath of which still reverberates across the country, was titled 'The Country Without a Post Office', after the Agha Shahid Ali poem. (THE
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the highly contentious conflict in
Kashmir. If Kashmir conflict-related hooks are to be avoided, one suggestion I could give could be a hook about how the poem inspired a Right to Information Act request for the actual number of post offices in Kashmir.
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I don't quite follow. By saying it isn't Indian
English do you mean that the sentence structure is bad in general, or how someone other than an Indian would talk. I can give it for copyedit if you think the grammar is that bad. My bad.
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When the event organised to discuss Afzal Guru’s hanging in JNU was named after Shahid’s poem, it wasn’t to claim that India lacked post offices — but to link a protest for
Kashmir’s freedom to the voice of a beloved poet.(THE INDIAN
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Please remember that you're trying to attract an international audience that isn't acquainted with or emotional about the topic. You have enough information in the Impact and legacy section alone to come up with a punchy hook.
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they are citing the title. In the second paragraph of "Impact and legacy", please explain in a few words what the revocation of
Article 370 was, so we can understand what the poem's title has to do with it. Thanks,
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Agha Shahid Ali’s collection of poems, The
Country Without a Post Office, published in 1997, entered the Indian Parliament a week ago, when BJP ministers mistook the country in Shahid’s poem for India
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ALT1: I've changed a couple of prepositions. I do worry it doesn't connect to the poem connection enough. That said, I think it's the best option of these. (Also, "accused" has one S.)
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If there's a better hook that's recognizable to international readers and is focused on the poem collection, it may be better than ALT1, but that's the only hook I like right now.
1027:. Each hook is properly cited, mentioned inline, verified by the sources, and are reasonably interesting to a broad audience. The article appears to meet all other DYK criteria.
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The title of the poem derives from an incident that occurred in 1990, when
Kashmir rebelled against Indian rule, resulting in hundreds of gruesome and violent deaths, fires...
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I understand that each hook much reach a “universal audience”, not only an “international one”. A universal audience within our own country as well as others.
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In "Impact and legacy" please explain in a few words what the revocation of Article 370 was, so we can understand what the poem's title has to do with it.
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OK, I gave the article a thorough edit. I tried to add another sentence showing notability to the lead, but it needs to be embellished, to explain
486:, thoughts? Hopefully DTM can do more copyediting; these Indian English articles are definitely a bit of an issue for me to appropriately edit.
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Hi, I came by to promote this, but ALT1 is too long and really isn't about the subject. The article also needs copyediting for English grammar.
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yes, the article looks much better now. Thanks for the expansion. Would you now like to propose other hooks so we can finish up this review?
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I have tried addressing the questions, as well as making more changes to other sections of the article. I hope it is ok now?
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ALT0: The abbreviation JNU is likely not recognizable enough for readers outside of India (I know I had to click the link).
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Sorry for the delay in replying. The editing done makes the article much better. Two main points have been asked:
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There are a lot of hook options here...I'll come around to that in a minute. This is new enough and long enough,
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I'll try to think of some hooks by later, but I'm currently travelling and won't be in the hotel until tonight.
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There are people who are not acquainted with or emotional about this topic within India, within Kashmir.
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ALT5: Not very interesting; many literary works are entered into congressional records and similar.
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as "a land of doomed addresses" in the 1990s, as postal services were stopped for seven months?
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Maybe now with this expansion different DYK hooks can be chosen too, apart from the one above.
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Thanks. I'll take a look at the alt later. But it's not Indian English to begin sentences with
256:"The Country without a Post Office" was originally published as "Kashmir without a Post Office"
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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below.
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bears witness to the tragedy in Kashmir and the author wants the peace to return.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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Ali bears witness to the tragedy in Kashmir and wants the peace to return.
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A new review is needed to check ALT6, ALT6a, and ALT10. Courtesy ping to
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Will try to answer these and make the changes in the article accordingly.
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The poem was penned down against the backdrop of an armed uprising
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is about the tragedy of Kashmir, the author is hopeful of the
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Following my above suggestion, how does the following sound?
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ALT4: You kind of have to know James Merrill to get this one.
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request for the actual number of post offices in the region?
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So after this soliloquy, those hooks still remain. Gung ho!
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I'm sorry, I don't find these ALTs hooky at all. Perhaps
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I agree with finding a more interesting hook. I’m trying.
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was originally called 'Kashmir Without a Post Office'?
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Rereading the discussion above, I have to agree with
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Still looking for better hooks; maybe an image too.
370:I don't see any textual issues. As to the hooks...
347:). Self-nominated at 11:04, 3 December 2019 (UTC).
281:Dedicated to Ali’s life-long friend James Merrill
920:... that the popularity of the poem collection "
196:... that the 2016 cultural event organised at
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776:: ... that although the collection of poems
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383:ALT2: This just doesn't...read right to me.
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1048:Passed DYK nominations from December 2019
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162:... that a cultural event organised in
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200:against the judicial killings of two
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482:You make a fair point on the hook.
173:'The Country Without a Post Office'
599:Here is a suggested tweak of ALT6:
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18:Template:Did you know nominations
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166:where students were accused of
32:Please do not modify this page.
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863:could be of assistance here.
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941:I would be fine with this.
198:Jawaharlal Nehru University
45:Knowledge talk:Did you know
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386:ALT3: Sounds repetitive.
762:: ... that through the
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784:return of the pandits
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109:A Simple Word Counter
89:Reviewer instructions
792:Hooks cited inline.
213:Source: Same as ALT0
202:Kashmiri separatists
445:Approved for ALT1.
299:Parliament of India
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186:EXPRESS)
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469:Yoninah
401:Ping me
327:Comment
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181:WEEK)
16:<
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