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This scares the
Foundation, mainly because they are funded by community donations and might lose support if users know their data is hackable . Agent Splarka is sent to free her but fails to even hack the security system, despite years of coding experience. Henderson tells Wheels about Uncyclopedia
76:
A new user, Susanne
Henderson, joins Knowledge. Prof. Wheels sends a virus to the Knowledge servers to shut them down for a few days. His plan is effective but annoys Henderson. She complains to The Foundation to turn it back on, and is quickly kidnapped by Wheels.
678:
Hello
English-speaking world. This is Professor Willy Wheels, here to say that Knowledge is now an unsafe zone. After I infected their servers with a deadly virus, limiting you all to the talk pages, I managed to capture one of their new users. And here she is!
226:
Prof. Wheels sips from a mug of coffee and slumps in his recliner. Through the lounge window, one can see his VandalBots and henchmen, each with his or her IP address on a nametag over a matching polo shirt. Jimbo can be seen by video feed.
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269:
Do you even realize you've fallen into a trap?? While you were off-guard, my men were sending your servers a virus to pop the very Linux kernel on which they reside. Our estimates are you'll be down until
Tuesday!
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Inside the
Foundation HQ, Jimbo stares up at a large suspended screen UC, on which Prof. Wheels is shown video-chatting once again, behind him the background described in scene 1.
107:
Our main character, Susanne
Henderson (a new user and n00b) enters LC and walks down the strip mall, checking her talk page for messages on a cell phone or Bluetooth headset.
597:
I just wanted to gloat. You are donation-funded, yes? Well, then, you can't afford much more bad publicity, now can you? IN THAT CASE, WHAT EXCUSE WILL YOU MAKE FOR ALLOWING
719:
The rest of the stage becomes lit with a fiery mob. Glass breaking and shrill screams can be heard while Wheels ad-libs a few paragraphs inflammatory comments. Fade out.
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Do your worst, you maniacal fiend! We at the
Foundation have sworn to protect our repository for the knowledge of mankind. Your villainous ways cannot taint that.
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She hangs up and walks into what appears to be a news station, only to find instead Prof. Wheels' lair. She screams and is tackled by a muscly vandal.
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Yes, we're aware of some slight technical difficulties going on right now. We've been told our servers will be up by early next week.
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The spotlights suddenly flash onto the large screen, this time the rest of the stage darkened. After a short clip of
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Prof. Wheels then turns the camera towards
Henderson, who is tied up and standing in a kiddie-pool full of water.
413:
SPLIT-STAGE ( L WIKIOPOLIS STRIP MALL, R FOUNDATION HQ) Dennis
Tierney at the Foundation HQ picks up the phone.
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William, let's not be unreasonable! She's only a new user, think of the trauma she must be going through!
27:
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Jimbo's right-hand woman, Sue
Gardner, runs from LC and immediately sees what's going on.
17:
238:(CHUCKLES) Oh, Jimbo. Your Hugglers are strong, but I've a trick or two up my sleeve.
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She is tackled by a large bot and the screen returns to a content-looking Wheels.
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Everyone is rushing around, trying to organize the fretting volunteers and admin
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and he leaves to enjoy a life there, fixing the servers in the process.
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contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is
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Yeah, whatever. Do you have any idea that your site Knowledge is down?
57:
intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose.
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Henderson pants from exertion after such a stressful number.
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Wheels stands up, sets his mug on the side-table and sneers.
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The screen changes to reveal Henderson, still constrained.
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Good luck, have fun, how can I? There's nothing I know!
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Good luck, have fun, how can I? There's nothing I know!
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Good luck, have fun, how can I? There's nothing I know!
35:
155:
What does that mean? How does it go? How am I doing?
713:You saw it here first, so commence mass hysteria.
195:learn that "WikiCode" - I'll light up the stage!
131:Sign up for a site I've never tried out before.
301:Where are your Hugglers now??(MANIACAL LAUGH)
139:What the heck is WikiCode—I wanna learn more!
8:
290:Prof. Wheels presses a button on the table.
374:Take Cyclone, take Mae, take AmericanShield
202:As I move along, I know it will get better!
170:As I move along, I know it will get better!
146:As I move along, I know it will get better!
504:Don't you care you'll get bit in the face?
159:Dividing the name and variables I'm using?
43:
811:
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492:Whadda ya do when things don't go right?
135:it unscrews and rolls across the floor!
496:Foundation, you're looking for a fight
486:Technical problems just ain't that bad
179:Hundreds of them... Thousands of them!
484:Whadda ya do when things are all sad?
7:
113:Song: WELCOME TO WIKIPEDIA, WHATEVER
790:Knowledge V: Brambleberry's Journey
783:Knowledge IV: Attack of the Vandals
769:Knowledge II: The Users Strike Back
510:Hear it from me, and a million more
284:That would be three days too many.
198:They say it will get easier as I go
166:They say it will get easier as I go
163:Computer talk... it's so confusing!
142:They say it will get easier as I go
514:I want to se what so many adore...
512:You're getting yourself into a war
494:Nonchelauntly ignore me all night?
223:INT - PROF. WHEELS' LAIR (LOUNGE)
104:EXT - WIKIOPOLIS STRIP MALL - DAY
24:
696:Help me, Jimmy! I'm in the new--
544:complain to the news about this.
506:Internet life is a great big race
502:Whadda ya care about 'user base?'
488:I'm a beginner, this makes me mad
804:Rogue Vandal: A Wikipedian Story
319:Who cares what the readers want?
208:Welcome to Knowledge, whatever!
116:
776:Knowledge III: Revenge of Jimbo
736:Song: WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO??
704:
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310:Song: I'M GONNA BE EVIL TODAY!
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206:Welcome to Knowledge, whatever!
174:Welcome to Knowledge, whatever!
150:Welcome to Knowledge, whatever!
833:are still under construction.
667:, Prof. Wheels again appears.
583:What do you want now, Wheels?
361:I could burn down the Teahouse
1:
797:Knowledge VI: The Last Editor
516:Wikipedi- Knowledge: SOFIXIT!
498:Wikipedi- Knowledge: SOFIXIT!
185:to be learning this malarkey,
649:Trauma, indeed! (CHUCKLES)
522:(more to be written later)
508:Wikipedi- Knowledge: SOFIX—
490:Wikipedi- Knowledge: SOFIX—
466:Well, I just think that...
363:And they’d turn a blind eye
341:I’ll slash the wiki’s tires
855:
601:TO HAPPEN TO YOUR USERS??
380:‘Cause they’re so helpful!
204:You leave me this message:
172:You leave me this message:
148:You leave me this message:
25:
829:are completed; movies in
743:
660:GIANT TV SCREEN - INT(?)
482:
475:Song: WIKIPEDIA:SOFIXIT!
376:They swear over intercoms
349:I’m gonna be evil today!
317:
127:
738:(no recording available)
477:(no recording available)
397:I’m gonna be evil today!
384:I’m gonna be evil today!
365:I’m gonna be evil today!
347:Who will try to stop me?
343:Steal candy from newbies
339:I’m gonna be evil today!
331:I’m gonna be evil today!
312:(no recording available)
357:I’m an established user
323:No more thankless tasks
817:Knowledge: The Musical
762:Knowledge I: The Movie
424:Wikimedia Foundation.
181:They clutter the page.
382:Why can’t that be me?
327:I’m gonna be noticed!
727:FOUNDATION HQ - INT
569:INT - FOUNDATION HQ
378:And no one notices
187:I'm not some sage!
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395:I’m gonna be evil
393:I’m gonna be evil
359:I do what I want!
329:I’m gonna be evil
321:No one notices me
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520:Na na, na na na!
500:Na na, na na na!
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345:Who can stop me?
325:No more drudgery
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553:Fade to black.
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419:DENNIS TIERNEY
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355:No one notices!
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49:This following
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18:User:Airhogs777
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353:I’m not scared
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157:The pipe is...
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592:PROF. WHEELS
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296:PROF. WHEELS
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264:PROF. WHEELS
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233:PROF. WHEELS
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133:My head spins
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67:Plot synopsis
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36:WP:WPMUSICAL
836:Spinoffs:
825:Movies in
691:HENDERSON
535:HENDERSON
461:HENDERSON
433:HENDERSON
215:Fade out.
153:Templates!
129:I jump in!
566:Fade in.
177:Brackets!
630:GARDNER
518:SOFIXIT!
447:TIERNEY
28:Shortcut
831:italics
723:Scene 5
708:WHEELS
673:WHEELS
656:Scene 4
644:WHEELS
562:Scene 3
409:Scene 2
219:Scene 1
100:Scene 0
751:Footer
613:JIMBO
578:JIMBO
557:ACT II
540:And I
389:Chorus
370:Chorus
336:Chorus
279:JIMBO
247:JIMBO
183:Unfit—
90:Script
81:Act II
665:noise
618:SUE!
189:Edit!
161:Edit!
137:Edit!
95:ACT I
72:Act I
16:<
840:None
827:bold
599:THIS
542:will
193:will
51:page
55:not
191:I
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