666:
1936, we do not see him again until 1960, when he has morphed into the wizened man those of us of a certain age recall from television. I will look into padding the legacy section slightly where you suggest, but surprisingly few of the sources I found (and I at least looked at probably at least a hundred sources on
Brundage) were willing to offer a historical judgment on him. It was hard getting the tone right for the 1936 part especially, obviously what he said and did was repellant, and he was somewhat extreme even for his times. To present it dispassionately was difficult.--
1815:. I took part in the peer review, where my queries and suggestions, such as they were, were dealt with. Since then the piece has been made even more impressive, and to my mind clearly meets all the FA criteria. I am particularly impressed that I am still not sure, having read the article three times now, to what extent Wehwalt actually likes or approves of Brundage – that's an impressive example of neutrality.
629:: I did a very detailed peer review on this article, and most of my recommendations were incorporated into the final version. I am very impressed by the depth of research that has gone into the article, and also by the extent to which Wehwalt has produced an even-handed account of a rather unsympathetic subject. I have just a handful of points to raise now:
324:.. but much worse, it is actually self-defeating. Sure, it may (probably will) help you jump this hurdle to getting the bronze star, but in the process you decline to learn new things. But all of this is philosophical. You have stood your ground, and since I do not see it as a fatal error, I will not press you further. :-) –
555:, could be removed; it is not altogether necessary, as you have a pic of AB in 1936, as part of a group. The removal certainly would clear the decks a bit - I've tried it out - and I would recommend that you do this. A few more general comments will follow shortly; I had my main say during a long peer review.
340:
Thanks. My writing style is very much shaped by how people react to it. I often think of "well, I better not phrase it that way or it will cause a problem at PR". You've made a point about the blockquotes. That becomes something I take on board and will think of as I conclude articles. (Note: My
665:
Thank you for the support and the comments. I will look into reducing the blockquotes by a couple, anyway. I do prefer tham, that is the lawyer in me. The 1941 image, I felt, was the clearest image I had of the middle-aged
Brundage. He is wearing headgear or is partially obscured in the two from
1818:
One curious point about the layout. If I access the article using
Firefox it looks fine, but if I access it through Internet Explorer 9 I get several inches of white space between the section heading "Early life; athletic career" and the start of the text ("Avery Brundage was born in Detroit…"). I
173:
I am nominating this for featured article because... I think it meets the criteria and hope the community will agree. Avery
Brundage was Mr. Olympics to a generation; one source jokes that it was popularly thought he came down from Mount Olympus with the gods. He's not well regarded today, for a
420:
I think you've hit it fine. There is a LOT more that can be said about the Soviet involvement in the
Olympic movement. I tried to hit the high points, with a worried look at the 100K I think the community expects me not to exceed in an article which is not about a head of state or government (I
633:
On an issue raised above by Ling, I generally share his antipathy towards ending articles with blockquotes. On this occasion, however, I think it's OK to do so, as the quote has a suitably final air about it. I am less happy, however, that overall the article contains seven blockquotes (three of
371:
Hey the "communist/capitalist nations different goals re amateurism" bit in the legacy looks like an interesting thread of thought. I skimmed the "amateurism" section and didn't see it developed. Did I miss it? If not, moderately unacceptable to introduce new points in the conclusion. –
174:
number of reasons, but is a man who dominated the
Olympics as perhaps no man will ever again, and was also a major builder and art collector. My thanks to the University of Illinois for making the Avery Brundage Collection available to me on my visit there earlier this spring.
787:
Relationships: "She had a strong interest in classical music, an interest which may not have been fully shared by her husband". The use of "interest" is redundant here. Getting rid of "an interest" would appear to make no difference in the meaning while making the sentence
1834:
I've made those changes. Thank you, and Ling.Nut3, for your reviews and support. I really don't have a strong view about
Brundage, so neutrality was not difficult. And he was very good at what he put his hand to, which I admire, despite his deplorable
421:
consider the limits for those about 130K). At that time, the US-Soviet relationship was on very shaky ground and people were sensitive to anything that made the
Soviets look good. And of course the Olympics was a major forum for US-Soviet rivalry.--
1885:
1276:
Well, you piped Crane. I could put it in the infobox, but I'm not sure that's customary. Regarding Alger, the only thing I find on a hasty search is in
Guttmann, calling Brundage "like the lucky, plucky heroes of Horatio Alger" (page
1897:
550:
which is an excellent action shot. It is, however, very large (even though I have slightly reduced it via the "upright" instruction), and I feel that it overcrowds this part of the article with images. The one that follows it,
680:
I have eliminated two of the blockquotes, both of which were section-enders, leaving only Red Smith's quote as a section-ender before the end. That's needed to balance "the Games must go on" that due to its length must be a
728:
I'm mildly confused by "Brundage was elected by a vote of 30 to 17 for
Burghley on the 25th ballot." Sounds like the voters were choosing Burghley, not Brundage. I'm not sure the "for Burghley" is helping the sentence at
1752:
director, I do not get involved in the GA or FA promotion decisions for works within our project due to conflict of interest. I do however feel that this is one of the best articles on WP and would otherwise Support
641:
really add anything to the article? This is the fourth of six successive images either of Brundage or including him. In all the others he is doing something; in this one he simply stares bleakly ahead.
586:
I want to have a look at this article at some point, but don't want to step on Brian's toes if he's about to give a full review. Please ping me when his review is finished so I can give one of my own.
634:
which are used to end earlier sections). I think that the overuse of blockquotes (rather than paraphrase or brief, embedded quotes) is an issue that needs addressing in featured articles generally.
117:
238:
Its not dangling. I generally conclude my non-numismatic articles with a blockquote. I find it gives good finality to an article and it sounds authoritative because it is someone else's voice.--
477:
People can be touchy around here :). I will look it over, make any necessary adjustments and cut and paste in probably within the next couple of hours, and will leave a note here when I have.--
1454:
AAU-sponsored. Really, they ran the show at that stage in track and field, I'll stick that in. Unhappily, we lack an article on the all-around, which seems to have died out in the 1920s.--
1195:
Thank you for reviewing, and on Crane. I generally don't link in a quote unless it's a "stopper" but if someone questions that, I tend to accommodate. I'll link that and Big Ten as well.--
1793:
Thank you. I greatly appreciate it. I worked hard on it and put about 1,500 on a fairly new car for it, so I was determined to make it good. With your help, we may just have succeeded.--
793:
For the newspaper and magazine cites without authors, some of the dates have en dashes in them and some don't. I wouldn't use dashes here, but either way their usage should be consistent.
291:
404:, basically consolidating the "ain't those Soviet athletes da bomb" text and the "but it's cheating/not amateur" text as well. Would you look at it? If you don't like it, that's OK. –
256:
is fairly typical when it states, "Follow up a block quotation with your own words." It goes on to state that one good way to do so is to explain the significance of the quotation. –
1696:
I'm inclined to say that would be overlinking, but I welcome the comments of other revieweres. I am working my way through your comments this morning, Tony. Thanks for the links.--
2119:
Thank you for the review and the praise. We seem to have ample support and checks done. If for some reason someone thinks something is missing, I'd be grateful for a heads-up.--
320:, but I personally can't categorize it as a fatal one. Second, a moment's reflection would help you see that citing past FAs as support for present practice is poor logic (it is
1819:
have tried this on two computers: a laptop and a desktop. Moving the image of AB in 1916 to the left-hand side between the first and second paragraphs eliminates this problem. –
2108:
491:
Compared it to the text I had by pasting into your sandbox, and not saving, but "show changes". I saw no problems, but I did split the final paragraph. Thank you for that.--
1923:
1710:
Back up to date. I moved a couple of images left, but there's a slight bias right because of MOS or positioning. I want to keep the images in the sections they are now.--
283:
287:
252:
that's an interesting tactic. It's my perception (whether correct or incorrect I'm not sure) that the practice flies in the face of convention. The UNC Writing Center's
2128:
608:
No, please go ahead. I've done my full review at PR. I only have a handful of final points which I don't think will bring about any major changes to the article.
463:
I actually think everything is OK, but my butt cheeks are still stinging from a couple paddlings I've received lately on this score, so I am being circumspect. –
2060:
Both of the above were done in the context of the article not using years for the other footnotes, since there is little ambiguity and less repetition this way.
435:
If you think the sandbox text is OK, then should I copy/paste back into the article? Especially beware of separating ideas from their cited references... –
2083:
This is a nice article on a not-nice person (he's dead, so I could call him for what he is;). I read this at several stages of development including the
40:
987:
There remain some instances where 3 in a row are on the left or the right. If the middle of the three were moved to the opposite side that would help.--
1354:
224:
Anal nitpick moment of the week: I don't like the dangling blockquote that wraps up the legacy section. Surely you can add some more text after it? –
739:
South Africa and Rhodesia: "decided to allow the Rhodesian to compete as British subjects." Not sure about this, but should it be "Rhodesians"?
449:
I had assumed that you had carried references along with the text. I will have to look at it in a bit more detail, then. The text is fine.--
30:
17:
1916:
1416:
Expand up "US all-around champion in 1914, 1916, and 1918". Was this at an AAU event, a US Track and Field Championships event or what?
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In the lead, the 1936 and 1972 Summer Olympics don't need multiple links; the ones in the first paragraph are sufficient on their own.
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Not for fair use. It does not contribute enough to the reader's comprehension of Brundage. The main article has it on fair use..--
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Rise to leadership: Very minor point, but it feels like there should be a word ("stated") between "and" and the "You know..." quote.
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837:– In prose, content, referencing, and everything else, this exceeds the FA criteria, rather than merely meeting them. Well done.
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I wonder if the Legacy section should begin with a summary judgement? Maybe readers should draw this conclusion for themselves.
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1868:- needs the original publication year as well. Also, please double check that the entire publication lacks a copyright notice.
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on journal/newspaper footnotes as unneeded; the full dates are in the linked citations and disambiguation is not needed (the
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Berlin: Again minor, but the semi-colon before "and the matter remains controversial" is better off as a regular old comma.
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on prose and images. Interesting article, fairly important person... although not one that I find myself agreeing with. —
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1907:- Looks fine, although doublechecking that there is no copyright notice on the entire publication would be appreciated.
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703:– All of the following are relatively small points; from what I've read, the content itself is definitely FA-worthy.
1946:
2078:
Also reviewed both Brichford PDFs and checked that the cited portions of the article are supported. All is fine.
400:
I found that section slightly scattered, though as always I may be flat wrong. I reorganized things slightly in
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and about thirty others. I'd respectfully suggest they were not considering a blockquote to end the article.--
1393:
You might want to look ahead a the "Construction executive" subsection, it's just filled with Chicago sites.--
2104:
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before the rewrite. It has come along nicely and will serve as a fine example of what a Knowledge article
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These points don't detract from my admiration for the completion of what must have been a very tough job.
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Unlink as you please, but find a way to link it in some prose. We should link his school affiliations.--
782:
Political demonstrations at Mexico City: Comma before "in one incident" should be a semi-colon instead.
1949:- Looks fine, but to be safe please double check that the entire publication lacks a copyright notice.
316:
Two points: First, I'm not gonna Oppose over this, so no need to worry on that score. It is a genuine
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1856:- PD tag for on-Knowledge copy is invalid. According to the commons tag, the rings were designed by
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Road to the IOC presidency: Comma after "to build a new German embassy in Washington" needs removal.
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546:: several extra images have been added since I peer-reviewed the article. One of the new ones is
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He'd be facing off the page then ... MOS issue. I agree, that's the one that's difficult.--
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piece and checked the parts of the article cited to it and all are supported by the source.
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I would get to this within three weeks, but it seems that you withdrew the PR. Here I am.--
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I'll try to come back to look at the remainder of the article within the next day or two.
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Thanks. Few do. But he is nevertheless important enough to deserve a quality article.--
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I have been through this pretty carefully over the last few days. Wehwalt picked-up the
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File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-2004-0309-500, Bremen, Avery Brundage eingetroffen.jpg
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I would also link stocks and bonds, but I am an overlinker. Get another opinion.
816:
Those are now fixed. Shout out to Br'er Rabbit for taking care of the dashes.--
271:
1898:
File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-2004-0309-502, Berlin, Olympia-Vorbereitung.jpg
1937:- Looks fine, but for some reason I can't access the PDF to double check.
1919:- Looks fine, but for some reason I can't access the PDF to double check.
1154:
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system from my work on his other FAs, but he did this one on his own.
857:
Thank you very much for the review, the support, and the kind words.--
1888:
should be cropped to remove the image description from the file. See
2052:
on the Brichford sources and used title-snippets for disambiguation.
1930:, proof that the copyright on the building is expired may be needed.
39:
Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
1353:
I am frustrated with the Monroe Building. Not sure if it is the
734:
Amateurism: Don't think "Alpine skiing" needs the capitalization.
208:
NOCs, fixed, thanks. The one remaining NOC's is a possessive.--
1350:
I will, but as a Chicago expert, your input would be valuable.
1926:- Should have an English description. Also, as France has no
2055:
I did some earlier tweaking, too; further back in history…
928:
Yes, I had two reviewers and figured you'd find it here!--
765:
Thank you for your comments; I have made those changes.--
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California's 12th congressional district election, 1946
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1956:- Needs a US PD tag. Also, I can't access the source.
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Nothing more than two in a row on either side now.--
1924:
File:Parc Mon-Repos Villa Mon-Repos et fontaine.jpg
118:
Featured article candidates/Avery Brundage/archive1
1748:All of my issues have been addressed. However, as
1153:I would link the Western Conference (piped to the
284:William Jennings Bryan presidential campaign, 1896
2141:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
1969:Addressed comments from Crisco 1492 moved to talk
288:United States Senate election in California, 1950
2043:already had title-snippets for disambiguation).
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
2147:No further edits should be made to this page.
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
8:
1473:did not abandon his athletic career --: -->
947:Can we get some pictures moved to the left?
1023:down one paragraph and to the left side?--
122:
41:Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates
1355:New York Life Insurance Building, Chicago
570:It's gone. Thank you for reviewing it.--
125:
115:
1357:or something else. Have no clue about
1241:Ah, which beyond Illinois and Crane?
18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates
7:
1917:File:Squaw Valley medal ceremony.png
1892:. Also, needs English description.
345:does not end with a blockquote.)--
24:
1935:File:Brundage at Squaw Valley.png
1873:File:Avery Brundage Signature.svg
1359:National Biscuit Company Building
1941:File:Olympiastadion Muenchen.jpg
1474:continued his athletic career.--
1118:Should Horatio Alger be linked?
1860:(1863-1937). May be PD-Simple.
1514:relevant enough for inclusion?
1:
1911:File:Brundage at AAU 1963.jpg
1849:Image review from Crisco 1492
1244:I just meant to link Crane.--
1954:File:La Salle Hotel main.jpg
1077:Early life; athletic career
343:Nickel (United States coin)
31:featured article nomination
2164:
1947:File:Brundage Corbally.jpg
386:Soviet Union subsection.--
2129:12:08, 22 June 2012 (UTC)
2109:02:15, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
2006:08:41, 16 June 2012 (UTC)
1988:08:34, 16 June 2012 (UTC)
2144:Please do not modify it.
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1310:Morrison Hotel (Chicago)
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286:(conclude with a poem),
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248:05:42, 31 May 2012 (UTC)
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218:06:39, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
204:05:19, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
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166:22:20, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
36:Please do not modify it.
2014:Gnoming by Br'er Rabbit
1905:File:Brundage 1941.JPG
1879:File:Brundage 1916.png
1866:File:Brundage clip.JPG
1854:File:Olympic Rings.svg
1570:Construction executive
1312:and others if you can.
1021:File:Brundage 1941.JPG
639:File:Brundage 1941.JPG
553:File:Brundage 1932.png
548:File:Brundage 1916.png
402:User:Ling.Nut3/sandbox
2036:dropped the ISO dates
1512:File:Carlos-Smith.jpg
883:TonyTheTiger comments
1306:Cook County Hospital
890:said eleven days ago
276:Cross of Gold speech
56:14:22, 23 June 2012
1928:Freedom of Panorama
1858:Pierre de Coubertin
2073:Sports Illustrated
1961:File:Saturnism.jpg
296:Carousel (musical)
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1576:Do you mean
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1980:Crisco 1492
1772:WP:CHICAGO
1750:WP:CHICAGO
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1006:WP:CHICAGO
968:WP:CHICAGO
911:WP:CHICAGO
840:Giants2008
797:Giants2008
747:Giants2008
589:Giants2008
272:Mark Hanna
54:GrahamColm
2091:should be
2041:Sun-Times
1821:Tim riley
196:Ling.Nut3
1835:views.--
788:tighter.
701:Comments
530:Ling.Nut
465:Ling.Nut
437:Ling.Nut
406:Ling.Nut
374:Ling.Nut
326:Ling.Nut
318:faux pas
258:Ling.Nut
226:Ling.Nut
134:Analysis
50:promoted
2121:Wehwalt
2097:Support
1998:Wehwalt
1976:Support
1837:Wehwalt
1813:Support
1795:Wehwalt
1776:WP:FOUR
1726:Wehwalt
1712:Wehwalt
1698:Wehwalt
1683:WP:FOUR
1648:WP:FOUR
1605:WP:FOUR
1554:Wehwalt
1539:WP:FOUR
1497:WP:FOUR
1456:Wehwalt
1441:WP:FOUR
1395:Wehwalt
1384:WP:FOUR
1337:WP:FOUR
1279:Wehwalt
1267:WP:FOUR
1232:WP:FOUR
1197:Wehwalt
1182:WP:FOUR
1155:Big Ten
1143:WP:FOUR
1108:WP:FOUR
1057:Wehwalt
1046:WP:FOUR
1010:WP:FOUR
972:WP:FOUR
930:Wehwalt
915:WP:FOUR
859:Wehwalt
835:Support
818:Wehwalt
767:Wehwalt
683:Wehwalt
668:Wehwalt
627:Support
572:Wehwalt
526:Support
493:Wehwalt
479:Wehwalt
451:Wehwalt
423:Wehwalt
388:Wehwalt
347:Wehwalt
304:Wehwalt
240:Wehwalt
210:Wehwalt
176:Wehwalt
158:Wehwalt
126:Toolbox
89:protect
84:history
93:delete
2046:Also
1753:it.--
1615:Link
1304:Link
110:views
102:watch
98:links
16:<
2125:talk
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1277:3)--
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76:edit
2025:sfn
2016:;)
1768:BIO
1675:BIO
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52:by
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