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168:"According to Bosworth, she was distinguished from her sisters because of her intelligence and tactfulness, which gave her an influential role in the governmental matters. In an era when the education for women was restricted to only theology, she sought to learn sciences." 533:"However, a nationalist rebellion broke out on Khwarazm" I see this was discussed above, but does this really count as "nationalism"? What does the actual source say? I'm very doubtful that any regional identity of this time could be called "nationalism". 129:, this article is about a Princess in the medieval Iran (Ghaznavid dynasty) who is known as the most politically active woman in her era; namely because of writing a letter to induce her favourite nephew to usurp the throne. 445:
While the article generally looks good, it lacks a lot of context throughout, making it hard for the reader to understand where, how, and why things are happening, but that should be fixable with the suggestions below.
502:
Anything on er ethnicity and religion? Since the article is so short, there is plenty of room for more context. Could be something as simple as saying her dynasty was Muslim of Turkic Mamluk origin or whatever fits.
149:"recorded by Shabankara'i (c. 1298 – c. 1358), a later historian" - I don't think later is really necessary here as we have his rough lifespan. It might create the impression he was latter than Bosworth.-- 71: 492:
Where was she from and where did she live? The article gives very little geographical context in modern terms. Even your blurb here gives clearer location info than the article itself (medieval Iran).
733:"by Beyhaqi" But you haven't presented him before (or here), so the readr doesn't know there have been previous mentions of her by him, or even that he is aparticularly important source about her. 630:"Hurra-yi Khuttali, along with her younger brother" Why randomly give her full name again? Shouldn't be needed after first mention in the article body. Also happens elsewhere in the article. 384:
I'm seeing all these other images of coins (File:Denarius Sextus Pompeius-Scilla.jpg for example) and they have the exact same licenses as this one. Why a tag for original work?
472:
Since the article is so short, I think you can devote some space to explaining non-English terms in-text (in parenthesis), instead of making readers chase links.
783:"I and the women of the harem are all in the citadel of Ghazna." This detail could be mentioned in the article body itself, with link to the citadel. 67:
As of 23 September 2024, 05:43 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.
713:"with Khorasan in second place" You never explain or link Khorasan before this point, needs context. What does all this have to do with Khorasan? 51: 47: 17: 254:"the rebels killed Ma'mun for his submission" - a better wording for this might be "the rebels killed Ma'mun; objecting to his submission"-- 723:"As a result, Turkoman tribes migrated into the region" From where? You should establish whether these were sent specifically by Mas'ud. 214:
If the rebels were angry that Khwarazm was under foreign rule then "nationalist" would probably be a more usual term than "patriotist".--
39: 547:
I think we have to stick to that, because the concept of nationalism didn't really exist back then, so applying it retroactively is
871: 852: 769: 663: 614: 560: 455: 408: 379: 333: 314: 296: 280: 263: 242: 223: 199: 180: 158: 138: 118: 87: 475:
I have done that for the majority of the foreign words. Sultan, Amir and Harem aren't obscure terms and don't need explanation
92: 581:"and repeatedly sent him luxurious gifts" After she was married and moved away? Could be specified, as it gives context. 605:
Depends on how he died. If he died in battle, it adds context to the story. If he died from disease, not so much.
753:"From a feminist outlook" This could be given in-text author attribution, who speaks on behalf of feminism here? 344: 396: 43: 305:"Furthermore, Hurra may have been taken hostage by them." - I don't think "Furthermore" is needed here.-- 700: 292: 134: 114: 268:
Wouldn't specifying that they are 'objecting' be redundant? What about 'because of' instead of 'for'?
404: 375: 643:
We know how many brothers he had, but for sisters it is unknown. Should I add this into the article?
743:"and his throne was usurped by Muhammad" But wasn't he blind? How did he rule, and how long after? 867: 848: 765: 659: 610: 556: 451: 34: 27: 329: 310: 288: 276: 259: 238: 219: 195: 176: 154: 130: 126: 110: 813:"leaving Ghazna for India, her ultimate fate is unknown." The comma should be a semicolon. 400: 371: 863: 844: 761: 655: 606: 552: 447: 548: 325: 324:"and the Turkic military commanders" - Could a link be added to "Turkic" here?-- 306: 272: 255: 234: 215: 191: 172: 150: 271:
Yes, "because of" should be OK. The original wording just felt a bit vague.--
833:
Mention in the intro that her husbands were brothers and where they ruled.
190:
Is any more information available about how she tried to learn sciences?--
526:
Unknown, meaning the source itself doesn't even say 'from unknown causes'
523:"Abu al-Hasan died at an uncertain date between 1006 to 1010" From what? 462:
Link Ghaznavid at first mention in article body, now it's at second.
746:
Only allegedly. Also wrote some information about his second tenure.
343:"the real power behind Muhammad's government" - Maybe add a link to 619:
THe cause of death was a combination of diseases, so I won't add it
171:
The two the's aren't needed and look a bit grammatically awkward.--
836:
Done for brothers; I've already mentioned that they ruled Khwarazm
370:
File:Mas'udIGhaznavidCoin.jpg needs a tag for the original work.
689:"receive letters from Hurra and his mother" Who was his mother? 513:"ruler of Khwarazm" State where this is in modern terms too. 211:"a patriotist rebellion broke out in Khwarazm on March 1017" 803:
The intro also needs modern geographical terms for context.
668:
Then no, the source I have only says her father had six sons
823:
The intro should mention it's unknown if she had children.
97: 59: 55: 591:"In 1030, after Mahmud's death" What did he die from? 72:
Featured article candidates/Hurra-yi Khuttali/archive1
233:"In" would probably be a better fit than "on" here.-- 843:Changes look good, I've added some comments above. 395:Other similar images should also have one, but 793:"in the Ghaznavid politics" The is unneeded. 654:If the source specifically states this, yes. 8: 76: 862:- looking nice with the added context. 79: 69: 699:"may have had him blinded" Could link 760:Doesn't seem to have been addressed. 125:Recently successful GAN (reviewed by 18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates 7: 482:"from Ma'munid dynasty" From the. 24: 640:How many siblings did she have? 872:10:46, 17 September 2024 (UTC) 853:16:28, 16 September 2024 (UTC) 770:16:28, 16 September 2024 (UTC) 664:16:28, 16 September 2024 (UTC) 615:16:28, 16 September 2024 (UTC) 561:16:28, 16 September 2024 (UTC) 456:20:01, 13 September 2024 (UTC) 409:04:46, 13 September 2024 (UTC) 297:03:57, 10 September 2024 (UTC) 1: 397:sometimes that doesn't happen 380:04:59, 9 September 2024 (UTC) 334:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 315:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 281:13:47, 9 September 2024 (UTC) 264:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 243:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 224:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 200:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 181:18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 159:18:55, 8 September 2024 (UTC) 139:07:49, 7 September 2024 (UTC) 119:07:49, 7 September 2024 (UTC) 571:"broke out on Khwarazm" In? 536:The source says 'patriotist' 584:The source does not specify 362:Suggest scaling up the map 888: 66: 594:Is this necessary to add? 345:Power behind the throne 701:Blinding (punishment) 204:Unfortunately nothing 679:Who was her mother? 633:Changed all to Hurra 144:Comments by Llewee 121: 105: 104: 35:Hurra-yi Khuttali 28:Hurra-yi Khuttali 879: 108: 77: 64: 63: 887: 886: 882: 881: 880: 878: 877: 876: 442: 146: 68: 37: 33: 31: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 885: 883: 875: 874: 856: 855: 840: 839: 838: 837: 830: 829: 828: 827: 820: 819: 818: 817: 810: 809: 808: 807: 800: 799: 798: 797: 790: 789: 788: 787: 780: 779: 778: 777: 776: 775: 755: 754: 750: 749: 748: 747: 740: 739: 738: 737: 730: 729: 728: 727: 720: 719: 718: 717: 710: 709: 708: 707: 696: 695: 694: 693: 686: 685: 684: 683: 676: 675: 674: 673: 672: 671: 670: 669: 647: 646: 645: 644: 637: 636: 635: 634: 627: 626: 625: 624: 623: 622: 621: 620: 598: 597: 596: 595: 588: 587: 586: 585: 578: 577: 576: 575: 568: 567: 566: 565: 564: 563: 540: 539: 538: 537: 530: 529: 528: 527: 520: 519: 518: 517: 510: 509: 508: 507: 499: 498: 497: 496: 489: 488: 487: 486: 479: 478: 477: 476: 469: 468: 467: 466: 459: 458: 441: 438: 437: 436: 435: 434: 433: 432: 431: 430: 429: 428: 416: 415: 414: 413: 412: 411: 388: 387: 386: 385: 368: 367: 366: 354: 353: 352: 351: 341: 340: 339: 322: 321: 320: 303: 302: 301: 300: 299: 284: 283: 252: 251: 250: 249: 248: 231: 230: 229: 209: 208: 207: 206: 205: 188: 187: 186: 166: 165: 164: 145: 142: 123: 122: 109:Nominator(s): 103: 102: 101: 100: 98:External links 95: 90: 82: 81: 75: 74: 30: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 884: 873: 869: 865: 861: 858: 857: 854: 850: 846: 842: 841: 835: 834: 832: 831: 825: 824: 822: 821: 815: 814: 812: 811: 805: 804: 802: 801: 795: 794: 792: 791: 785: 784: 782: 781: 773: 772: 771: 767: 763: 759: 758: 757: 756: 752: 751: 745: 744: 742: 741: 735: 734: 732: 731: 725: 724: 722: 721: 715: 714: 712: 711: 705: 704: 702: 698: 697: 691: 690: 688: 687: 681: 680: 678: 677: 667: 666: 665: 661: 657: 653: 652: 651: 650: 649: 648: 642: 641: 639: 638: 632: 631: 629: 628: 618: 617: 616: 612: 608: 604: 603: 602: 601: 600: 599: 593: 592: 590: 589: 583: 582: 580: 579: 573: 572: 570: 569: 562: 558: 554: 550: 546: 545: 544: 543: 542: 541: 535: 534: 532: 531: 525: 524: 522: 521: 515: 514: 512: 511: 505: 504: 501: 500: 494: 493: 491: 490: 484: 483: 481: 480: 474: 473: 471: 470: 464: 463: 461: 460: 457: 453: 449: 444: 443: 439: 426: 425: 424: 423: 422: 421: 420: 419: 418: 417: 410: 406: 402: 398: 394: 393: 392: 391: 390: 389: 383: 382: 381: 377: 373: 369: 364: 363: 361: 360: 359: 358: 349: 348: 346: 342: 337: 336: 335: 331: 327: 323: 318: 317: 316: 312: 308: 304: 298: 294: 290: 286: 285: 282: 278: 274: 270: 269: 267: 266: 265: 261: 257: 253: 246: 245: 244: 240: 236: 232: 227: 226: 225: 221: 217: 213: 212: 210: 203: 202: 201: 197: 193: 189: 184: 183: 182: 178: 174: 170: 169: 167: 162: 161: 160: 156: 152: 148: 147: 143: 141: 140: 136: 132: 128: 120: 116: 112: 107: 106: 99: 96: 94: 91: 89: 86: 85: 84: 83: 78: 73: 70: 65: 61: 57: 53: 49: 45: 41: 36: 29: 26: 19: 859: 357:Image review 356: 355: 185:Deleted them 124: 93:Citation bot 32: 289:Amir Ghandi 228:Replaced it 131:Amir Ghandi 127:Simongraham 111:Amir Ghandi 401:Nikkimaria 372:Nikkimaria 163:Deleted it 864:FunkMonk 845:FunkMonk 762:FunkMonk 656:FunkMonk 607:FunkMonk 553:FunkMonk 448:FunkMonk 88:Analysis 860:Support 692:Unknown 682:Unknown 80:Toolbox 48:history 347:here? 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Index

Knowledge:Featured article candidates
Hurra-yi Khuttali
Hurra-yi Khuttali
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Featured article candidates/Hurra-yi Khuttali/archive1
Analysis
Citation bot
External links
Amir Ghandi
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07:49, 7 September 2024 (UTC)
Simongraham
Amir Ghandi
talk
07:49, 7 September 2024 (UTC)
Llewee
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18:55, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
Llewee
talk
18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
Llewee
talk
18:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
Llewee

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