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I've listed this article for peer review because the article has seen very considerably good improvements within the last month since it was selected as the WikiProject
Homeschooling Collaboration of the Month. Previously, it had some problems with NPOV in the last peer review. Also the article was
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section needs sources as well. The countries listed have so little written about them that it seems as though they are a list. While some of this could be left alone for now, the POV issues and 'essay' feel are what really need to be worked on. In my opinion, it's still a start-class article, though
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History section - one sentence on the introduction of compulsory education in
Germany in the 17th and 18th centuries, then two large subsections on American educators and the homeschooling movement in the US. Unless the article title is changed to Homeschooling in the US, this is very POV and not at
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The lead reads like the introduction, when it should be a summary of the whole article. I always try to make sure every header is somehow mentioned in the lead, even if it is just a word or phrase. For example, there seems to be no mention of
History in the lead, nor of the many countries listed in
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in the "why people home school" part - all of these will need citations from reliable sources once it is in the body of the article (have not yet read the whole article - apologies if it is already in and cited). See
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section, and accentuated by need of citations. Much of this can be cleaned up just by changing the wording in areas. The stilted delivery of the introduction paragraph needs some work to help with flow, and the
259:- this is an article that tries to be about the whole world, but look at the US section size compared to every other country. Also look at nearly all of the examples in every other section, all US.
189:, please do not use an ameprsand & in a header (so "Raymond and Dorothy Moore"), and please do not repeat the name of the article (so just plain "Criticism" not "Criticism of homeschooling ").
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Don't link words in headers either, and "DACH" is not an acronym I knew (and I speak German and have lived in
Germany). Spell it out and provide context for the reader - see
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Parents violating the law have most prominently included devout
Christians who want to give their children a more Christian education than what's offered by the schools.
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Avoid needless repetition - there is already a Cost to families section, so why also a
Finacial obligations section that mostly repeats the same information?
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previously too focused on the United States. I think both of these problems have been fixed, and I plan on nominating it as a good article very soon. -
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OK, I also added tags to the article related to what you noticed and I've made some of the basic changes that you suggested. Hope you don't mind. -
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Keep focused on the topic at hand - why in an article on homeschooling do we need to John Holt was a former submariner?
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I switched from bullets to numbers as requested - I am fine with replies between by points if that is what you like.
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References to the internet should have url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. Consider using
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You need to improve the cites. Cite 37 should have CIA in the publisher parameter (i.e. you need to use the
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Here is the "pipe trick" to get only "John Holt" to display in a wikilink type this: ] and what you get is
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While a lot of work has gone into this, it needs a lot more work to get to GA status. Hope this helps,
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It was no great leap from there to arrive at homeschooling, and Holt later said, in 1980,...
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and the other cite templates (cite book, cite journal, cite news, etc.)
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and broad coverage, this will fail GAN unless fixed.
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