1001:"For Europe this period ended in 1939, however for the United States it did not become an active and official, participant in combat until the attack on Pearl Harbor; from that point on Asian Americans were on the front lines for the U.S. Civilians of Oahu, including Japanese Americans, assisted with aid efforts following the attack; on the other side of the Pacific Filipinos who were mobilized under U.S. command, since July 1941, prepared for an attack that would come nine hours later." - I'd examine this sentence closely, as it probably needs breaking up slightly.
719:
Asian first the graduate, was the first Asian was graduate, American to command a Navy (DD 502). Sigsbee warship, USS caused attack When a kamikaze attack caused kamikaze a When explosions and flooding on board the destroyer, Chung-Hoon directed damage control, enabling the crew to save the ship. his for Cross Navy
Awarded Awarded the Navy Cross for his the actions, he was later promoted to rear admiral, making him the officer flag American first first Asian American flag officer Asian ";
1010:"A quarter of those would serve in the U.S. Army Air Force with some finding their way to the Chinese Burma India theater with the 14th Air Service Group and the Chinese-American Composite Wing. Another 70 percent would go on to serve in the US Army in various units, including the 3rd, 4th, 6th, 32nd and 77th Infantry Divisions." - I wasn't sure if this quarter and 70% referred to the "75 percent (that) served in non-segregated units", or to all Chinese-Americans.
1016:"Yet, many stayed on and continued to serve in integrated units..." - The "yet" suggests that one would have expected them all to leave, which doesn't feel right. (Compare to whether we'd say "With the integration of the U.S. Armed Forces all-white units became a thing of the past. Yet, many white soldiers stayed on and continued to serve in integrated units..." - it would sound really odd.)
797:, I couldn't find significant amount of content for this section. What content I could find was included. Hopefully as historians start to write about this recent past there will be some who focus on Asian American contributions which will allow this section to expand. Is this content OK for inclusion in an attempt to elevate the article to GA?--
973:"There are anecdotal accounts of Filipino American sailors serving as early as the Revolutionary War; however the first recorded history of Asian Americans fighting on behalf of the United States occurred in 1815..." It's unclear here what the difference between an anecdotal account and a recorded event is (i.e. an anecdote can be recorded).
563:
refers to internment in its third sentence. Military history strikes me as indivisible from the histories of the societies from which armed forces are recruited. It seems a stretch to imply, as this article currently does, that the recruitment of some
Japanese Americans was separate to the internment
494:
Possibly a silly question, but as someone not familiar with the usage of the term, what (or who?) is an Asian
American? An immigrant? An immigrant who naturalises? Someone born to immigrant parents? Someone who self-identifies as such? The article on Asian Americans provides a definition in its lead,
633:
It would appear we disagree as regards scope; I would still suggest that the internment issue is relevant to the raising and combat performance of those
Japanese American units, and mentioning how the internment issue interacted with recruitment (if only briefly, as the article on Japanese American
718:
please review this quote and tweak as necessary (there a couple of repeated words and examples of irregular capitalisation. As it is a quote, I didn't want to tweak it in case these are actually part of the quote): "Gordon Chung-Hoon, a
Hawaiian-born Chinese American and a 1934 U.S. Naval Academy
878:
I'm not a fan of the popular culture section (I'd suggest simply removing it because it is uncited and could be criticised for being cherrypicked), however, if you don't want to do that at a minimum I'd suggest removing the self ref from the section title. For instance "Military history of Asian
1028:
Generally, I think the article needs to cover the literature on racism, Asian-Americans and the armed forces more comprehensively. It's not my specialist area, but a quick Google search on "racism asian-american military" shows a wealth of material relevant to the article.
304:
I have not added an image for the lead, as since the Asian
American grouping is so diverse, I have not found an image that is as unifying as the one listed for the 21st Century. To use a single image would favor one ethnicity over another, and may give one ethnicity
985:
The lead says that "Due to the small population of Asian
Americans in the 19th century their contributions were not heavily recorded." - this isn't reflected in the main text at all. Indeed, one might also suspect that 19th century racism would have played apart
586:
of the article. If we are to talk about the events surrounding the service of Asian
Americans, than it would expand into the racism experienced by early Asian Americans and how it effected their service in the armed forces, which would expand this article
992:"Early Asian American Military Academy graduates" section - this is written heavily in the conditional, e.g. "would do this... would do that...", and would probably read much better as "did this, did that". Applies throughout the article as well.
529:
As for the
Japanese American internment. I tried to focus on military history, and not on the situations surrounding it. If so I would need to write about the internment that occured on CONUS and the lack thereof on
707:"however the first recorded history of Asian Americans fighting on behalf of the United States was recorded as far back as 1815". I suggest adding a link to the conflict that this occurred in for context here;
827:
reword to avoid repetition: "depths of the Great War, the U.S. was looking to its south; Mexico was in the depths of its Civil War, and violence began to spill North over the border" (depths and depths) --:
875:
if there is a way to do it, I'd suggest just merging the War of
Terrorism, Afghanistan and Iraq sections given the limited content. What is there is probably fine for GA if that is all that can be found;
843:
second comma needed: "July 26, 1862" (after 1862). There are also other examples throughout the article where this would be required if you agree, for instance "January 19, 1942" and "June 12, 1942" etc;
582:
I can see where you are coming from, and the Japanese American internment during World War II is important to the history of Japanese Americans, however I am of the opinion that it is outside of the
555:
relates to the creation of new articles, not the content of existing articles. I would disagree that Japanese American internment is outside the scope of this article; for comparison, the article on
846:
in the World War II section there are a couple of long paragraphs (e.g. in the Japanese Americans and Filipino Americans subsections. I wonder if these could be split to break up the text a little;
351:
Japanese and Chinese American are generally not hyphenated in Academic Sources, and thus I have kept with that and not used the hyphen here. This goes back to a renaming attempt/controversy of the
126:
832:
this might need a citation if you are aiming for GA: "These graduates would lose their status as U.S. Nationals in 1935 and many would go on to serve the young Armed Forces of the Philippines."
722:
I am probably not qualified to comment on content, but to me it seems that the Gulf War and 21st century sections seem quite underdeveloped when compared to the earlier sections. Regards,
122:
694:
agree with the above regarding the table of contents, as it currently creates a large amount of whitespace (if you use a TOC limiter e.g. "{{TOC limit|3}} ", it would reduce this space);
824:"He survived some of the bloodiest battles of the war and is believed to have achieved the highest rank of any Chinese to serve in the Union Army, having reached the rank of corporal";
107:
995:"While the rest of the world was as in the depths of the Great War..." I'd specify the year. I'd also note that not all of the rest of the world were involved in the First World War.
976:"Joseph Pierce (his chosen name)..." Is he the John T. referred to in the previous para? If so, worth either explaining this, or starting with "Another Chinese-American soldier...".
704:
repetition: "however the first recorded history of Asian Americans fighting on behalf of the United States was recorded as far back as 1815" (recorded and recorded: perhaps reword);
157:. A new, or multiple, sets of editor may see edits that are required, including (but not limited to) expansions and contractors of sections of the article, in order to meet the
99:
423:
Presently the images change from left to right, however that is not necessary. Would other editors suggest that all images be right aligned, or is alternating alignment OK?
1007:"Additionally the Military Intelligence Service made a huge contribution to the war effort as it consisted of Japanese Americans" - didn't it have German speakers as well?
823:
reword: "He survived some of the bloodiest battles fought during the Civil War and is the highest known ranking (Corporal) Chinese to serve in the Union Army" --: -->
634:
service can deal with the details) is of considerable value to the reader. That said, your compromise seems reasonable, though I would render the internal link as:
522:. I will be working on the lead later to summarize the article, and I can see why repeating the Asian American definition maybe necessary, if not a little
76:
495:
but this article ought to provide some sort of definition, if only so a reader can tell what the article will cover. Also, surprised to see no mention of
829:"depths of the Great War, the U.S. was looking to its south; Mexico was in embroiled in a civil war, and violence began to spill North over the border";
204:
General remark, lots of small paragraphs, reads a bit choppy, may be (may be) okay for GA but seek to improve the flow and general style of the article.
556:
1055:
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982:"highest known ranking (Corporal) Chinese" - the brackets don't help this. How about "Being promoted to corporal, he was the highest known..."?
246:" the Philippines found itself on the front lines of" doubt it "found itself" there. Be active in tone, not passive. Tell me how it happened.
849:
probably needs a citation for GA, as it appears uncited: "In 1948, President Truman ordered the desegregation of the United States Military";
534:. As this is an article that is about military history, I can see how it could be included, however I don't believe that it falls under the
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1019:"Cold War" section - again, lots of short paragraphs and one-paragraph sections, which make it harder to follow the thread of events.
998:"Asian Americans were drafted as "non-whites" filling out the "white quota" into the National Army" - I wasn't sure what this meant.
989:"20th century" - lots of short, one paragraph sections here. I'd recommend combining them to allow for a more coherent narrative.
1004:
Japanese Americans sections. I'm not a specialist, but I think the "ancestry" bits may mask some pretty ugly racism at the time.
864:
I'm not sure that this is necessary: "fifty nine thousand (59,000)". I suggest just using "59,000". Same with "eighty two (82)";
1082:
979:"unknowingly participated in" As put, this suggests that he didn't realise he was fighting in a war, which would seem unlikely.
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so as to make obvious that the internal link is to 'Japanese American internment' and not to 'internment' more generally. --
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The other members of the 442nd RCT were Japanese Americans from the continental United States and mostly White officers.
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Sergeant Major is a title and are rightfully capitalized. I have decapitalized cadets, per the manual of style found
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I've listed this article for peer review because I am seeking to make edits in order to prepare this article for
50:
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Like others, I think the article needs to explain early on who Asian-Americans are for the non-US readership.
1054:
I have made a section on the talk page to work towards an appropriate lead. Others are welcome to assist me
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243:"12 to 20 thousand, " so somewhere between 12 people and 20 thousand? Minor rephrase required.
1013:"all Asian American segregated units became a thing of the past" - wording felt a bit informal
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259:, should "Chinese American" be "Chinese-American" or "Chinese–American" or something else?
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820:: Your changes above look good. I've taken another look and have some more suggestions:
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I have reformatted the sentence which I believe is being referred to above; see change
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Check image captions, those which aren't complete sentences shouldn't have a period.
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765:. If additional rewording is required, I am more than happy to take suggestions.
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568:, who is specifically identified in this article, seems a case in point. --
923:
Added reference as requested regarding loss of National status, see change
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I'll see about working on a summarization, but I can use some suggestions.
714:
irregular capitalisation: "Medal of Honor, and As of March 2011" --: -->
559:
references internment in its opening sentence, while the article on the
198:
Consider paring down the table of contents to just third-level headings.
229:"Japanese Americans" seems that this should be hyphenated or en-dashed.
262:
Many images left and right, take care not to squash text between them.
697:
by convention, ship names are usually presented in italics: e.g. USS
531:
590:
As a compromise I can see integrating something like the following:
970:
The lead needs to be expanded to summarise the article more fully.
937:
Changed capitalization in the Interwar period section, see change
373:. Please let me know if other sentences need to be reformatted.--
268:
Big see also/previous section of links. Can you be more refined?
782:
Fixed the quote regarding Rear Admiral Chung-Hoon, see change
184:
Would look to expand the lead considerably. It's intended to
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Removed significant capitalization in references, see change
201:
Not sure, but do we always capitalise "Century" for century?
1022:
Check the consistency of whether you say "%" or "percent".
277:
The templates usually go below the External links section.
916:
Change made regarding the Mexican Revolution, see change
236:" who was posthumously..." just think you need a link to
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As for the minimal content for the 21st century, due to
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capitalisation: "the 1st of the 31st infantry" --: -->
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capitalisation: "then being promoted to Major" --: -->
711:"U.S. warships" as it doesn't seem like a proper noun;
691:: good work so far. I have the following suggestions:
426:
Removed periods from sentence narration, see change
857:as in this case it is not being used as a title);
710:irregular capitalisation: "U.S. Warships" --: -->
637:The other members of the 442nd RCT were formerly
604:The other members of the 442nd RCT were formerly
909:Change made regarding Joseph Pierce, see change
466:Moved templates below external link, see change
232:"It wouldn't be until" avoid contractions -: -->
967:(NB: these might duplicate the above in places)
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329:appears to state the proper abbreviation is
150:This peer review discussion has been closed.
775:Fixed irregular capitalization, see change
518:and is based on the definition used by the
514:The definition used is that at the lead of
252:"Ahn family portrait." no period required.
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564:of other Japanese Americans. The case of
557:Japanese-American service in World War II
459:Removed dead link references, see change
395:Fixed sentence as suggested, see change
715:"Medal of Honor, and as of March 2011";
561:442nd Infantry Regiment (United States)
164:Thank you in advance for your efforts,
35:
871:"except for 4 of these deaths" --: -->
879:Americans in popular culture' --: -->
840:"U.S. civilians" (not a proper noun);
274:Check for those links tagged as dead.
225:"Filipino Cadets being " Cadets-: -->
7:
853:"then being promoted to major" (per
359:, and other Asian American articles.
901:Response to Additional comments by
768:Decapitalized warships, see change
761:Reworded, as suggested; see change
28:Military history of Asian Americans
872:"except for four of these deaths";
754:Italicized ship names, see change
452:Refined See also list, see change
24:
409:Reformatted sentence, see change
402:Reformatted sentence, see change
930:Changed to numbers, see change
861:"the 1st of the 31st Infantry";
660:Change enacted, see difference
747:I added TOC limit, see change
333:, I have made the change, see
1:
867:"sixty five thousand" --: -->
835:"fifty-seven hundred" --: -->
608:Japanese Americans from the
497:Japanese American internment
639:interned Japanese Americans
520:United States Census Bureau
416:Removed period, see change
312:Decapitalized century, see
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612:and mostly White officers.
362:Removed contractions, see
342:Army writing standard here
233:"It would not be until..."
1068:14:10, 10 July 2012 (UTC)
674:14:10, 10 July 2012 (UTC)
610:continental United States
174:19:12, 25 June 2012 (UTC)
1039:08:03, 8 July 2012 (UTC)
951:19:03, 8 July 2012 (UTC)
890:23:46, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
839:"U.S. Civilians" --: -->
807:18:31, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
732:02:12, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
656:21:16, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
629:19:40, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
578:17:20, 9 July 2012 (UTC)
548:17:46, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
509:19:43, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
487:01:04, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
440:00:09, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
383:23:15, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
319:Capitalized harbor, see
290:18:02, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
271:Don't SHOUT in the refs.
880:"In popular culture".
593:Replace the statement:
188:the whole article, per
155:good article assessment
1083:July 2012 peer reviews
195:No image for the lead?
221:Sergeant Major -: -->
18:Knowledge:Peer review
601:With the following:
161:as set forth by GA.
818:Additional comments
207:Havana harbor-: -->
327:United States Ship
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943:RightCowLeftCoast
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666:RightCowLeftCoast
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538:of the article.--
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906:(part 1):
238:posthumous
212:Montagnard
868:"65,000";
524:redundant
449:(part 3)
392:(part 2)
298:(part 1)
186:summarise
1077:Category
1051:(part 1)
1048:Hchc2009
1031:Hchc2009
961:Comments
743:Response
689:Comments
606:interned
587:greatly.
447:Response
390:Response
296:Response
179:Comments
159:criteria
836:"5,700"
257:WP:DASH
226:cadets?
190:WP:LEAD
127:history
108:history
94:Article
36:Toolbox
793:&
791:WP:VER
532:Hawaii
331:U.S.S.
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