535:"poplar trees were uprooted, structures bent and crumpled, and many wharves ruined" - the last bit doesn't quite work. If you're going for parallelism, say "the storm , , and ." As it stands, it's three different constructions in a row. First is "were uprooted", passive voice. The second is simple past tense "bent and crumbled". But the third doesn't work. Wharves can't simply ruin. There needs to be a direct object. Or, this entire bit needs to be rewritten.
521:"In Boston, strong winds, described as "unprecedented in the annals" of the city, were documented during the afternoon of 9 October, blowing off the steeple of the Old North Church, while the roof of the King's Chapel was tossed 200 feet (61 m) from its initial location, landing on an adjacent house and crushing two carriages into pieces." - split after "Old North Church"
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619:"it still produced disproportionate totals of frozen precipitation in the northeastern United States, which were mostly not exceeded until the 2011 Halloween nor'easter, which in areas received several feet of snowfall" - the bit of being exceeded only refers to October snow, not in general.
507:" In Newburgh, many houses were destroyed over due to the severity of the winds and ships needed to travel with sails lowered, and meanwhile at New York Harbor, not a single craft docked due to the vigorous gale on 10 October" - please rewrite... split... reorganize...
563:"The steeple of the Old North Church, which was eventually repaired and restored several times, was blown down by once more in 1954 by Hurricane Carol and mended yet again" - why isn't this mentioned when you talk about the Old North Church?
308:"strong gusts inflicted significant property damage, especially to churches, and extensive yet negligible impairment to private property was observed" - so heavy damage, but negligible damage? Really should be clearer and less verbose.
234:"An unusual late-season storm in the 1804 Atlantic hurricane season" - technically there was no season then. Why not just "... in 1804"? Especially if it already says "late-season" (which I'm fine with more in theory than 1804 AHS)
456:" it caused little injury to watercraft, though many boats and ships were capsized" - I'd just nix the first part, since it seems contradictory. Little damage, but many sank? I'd merge that part with "shipwrecks led to 16 deaths"
248:"By the morning of 9 October, the movement of a trough by the Virginia Capes was noted, and as the disturbance progressed along the East Coast, it was steered over New England as a result." - way too verbose. --: -->
412:"historical documents confirm it quickly reached Chesapeake Bay later that morning with west-to-north winds" - did the hurricane have west-to-north winds? Or was the confirmation based on those winds?
173:
There's a track map that I created from the
Harvard Forest data, but an outstanding block on Commons and an unsuccessful block appeal have kept me from it – if you want, I could email it to you.
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I've tried to clear it up a bit; the damage was widespread but negligible (i.e., minor). It's still kind of wordy and messy... no other wordings have really struck me yet. :\
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Given how close the current title is to "Snow
Hurricane of 1804" (just a reorganization of the wording), I don't think you need to mention that as an alternate title.
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I think you mention downed trees a bit too many times in "Southern New
England" section. Only one of the five paragraphs doesn't mention it. Maybe reorganize?
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633:"Similar circumstances occurred in 2012 with the arrival of Hurricane Sandy, which had a similar track to the 1804 snowstorm" - don't say "similar" twice
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220:"...was the first tropical cyclone in recorded history known to produce snowfall." - you sure that applies to all TC's worldwide? Or just Atlantic?
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249:"By early on 9 October, a trough near the Virginia Capes turned the disturbance toward New England." There, half as long and much easier to read.
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I think you should split the first paragraph of "impact and records", starting a new paragraph at " In the Middle-Atlantic states"
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549:"The Charlestown Navy Yard was to be dismantled" - why the "was to be"? It's like future tense but in the past... confusing
591:"While little frozen precipitation fell in Massachusetts" - eh? You mentioned 18 inches of snow in the previous paragraph
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Clarified so that one primarily referred to the industries while the other related to vessel damage (i.e., not shipping)
463:
That was a mistake in writing; I meant to write something along the lines of "little damage on land but a lot on water"
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Any way to add an image to the article? Even a map of New
England covered with snow would be better than nothing.
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The first paragraph of the MH says peak of "100 mph (175 km/h)", but the infobox says "110 mph (175 km/h)"
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489:"A negative storm tide at Baltimore grounded multiple boats." What's wrong with simplicity? :P
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Reworded and cited. I dislike the wording of "world history," but it'll do for now, I suppose.
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Clarified: the reports were isolated (i.e., mostly falling only in mountainous regions)
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Reorganized; mostly in the second paragraph now, except for the parts in other states.
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So churches were damaged more heavily than houses? I don't get it. --♫
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That's it through the MH section. Looking pretty good so far. :) --♫
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You mention ship damage in both the 2nd and 3rd lede paragraphs. Why?
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But the MH still doesn't match the infobox, as far as peak. --♫
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Err... maybe "destruction" wasn't the best word to use here. :P
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Is there any need to use the word "propinquity" ever? :P
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Isn't a damaged ship related to shipping industry? --♫
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470:"with considerable destruction... cattle" ??
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646:That's it! Just these minor things. --♫
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492:"and another was run ashore" --: -->
542:Changed to for parallel structure.
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18:Talk:1804 New England hurricane
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612:Maybe "vicinity"? :P
514:Done, whaddya think?
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81:Instructions
104:visual edit
180:Maybe ask
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
213:Removed.
157:contribs
76:Criteria
127:history
108:history
94:Article
405:Fixed.
241:Fixed.
184:? --♫
640:Ding.
626:Ring.
256:Done.
136:Watch
16:<
653:talk
432:talk
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123:edit
100:edit
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