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For an update, I'm about halfway through this review, and things are looking good so far. I thought I was going to have enough time today to finish this, but that will have to wait until next weekend. In the meantime, Checklinks found that ref#31 is dead (strangely, it looks like it fell dead 8 days
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The first paragraph of the "Products" section could be updated. It looks like the last ref dates to 2005. It gives a projected forecast of growth to 2010 – did that growth actually occur? I think it would be good to expand the notion that perhaps part of the reason Argo tea has become so successful
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You mention in the lead about the lifestyle perspective and the modern design. You could expand upon this in the text, perhaps even creating a new section discussing the vision/philosophy/design concept. The lead image gives impression that there might be a story behind the architecture. You might
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In the first paragraph of the "Products" section, there is a nice timeline give in about the growth of the tea industry during the early 2000s, going from 2003 to 2010. But then the last sentence deviates from that: "By 2002, there were 1,100 tearooms with sit-down service". This sentence should
267:" you will find negative studies to go along with the positive ones. Don't try to debate that research in this article. The focus here should be that Argo tea is of the belief that tea is healthy, and they are the ones advocating for its use in research. The paragraph should also start with a
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The same problems also pertain to the second paragraph in "Social efforts". Right now it lacks a topic sentence and seems to over-glorify Argo tea's environmental record. Simply state the facts and verify them with references. Example: "Argo tea advocates for sustainability ...they adopt the
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Right now the "Social efforts" is rather bias as it is overly promoting of the supposed health benefits of tea. Citing one or two journal articles does not give a representative view of the topic. If you read the article
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The lead mentions that shops opened in Boston and St. Louis, but this is not found in the body of the text. When you mention that Argo is active in 4 cities, I think you should list them.
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Thank you for taking care of the items I had listed above. I am pleased with the development of the article. To suggest a few items to use to improve the article further:
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either be followed by something like "as of 2011, this number has grown to X tearooms", or placed earlier in the paragraph or simply removed.
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I think the idea that the growth of the tea market was simultaneous with the growth of Argo is something worth adding to the lead.
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after the retrieval date), so there is something to work on until I come back to finish up next weekend. Happy editing! --
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was because it was able to capitalize on the growing tea market (which they may have a part in helping to develop).
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following business policies ...and maybe they do it in other ways, like donating to some charity or something"
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That should be all. I will place this article on hold until these issues can be addressed. --
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pull items from other sections (like the "Mac" comparison) to broaden the new section.
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Not sure what you really want. The content is cited, but not in the topic sentence.--
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I look forward to the future growth of the article. Happy editing! --
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B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
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