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961:"...McGugin tapped his fingers on the floor and began..." The other larger quotations have their reference at the end of the quote, while this one has it before. For consistency I'd suggest moving it to the end like the others.
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The lead notes he was a lawyer by profession, yet there is not one mention of it throughout the article. Is there no details on where he practiced law, seeing how it was important enough to mention in the
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In regards to the quote by Newman, maybe specify who is he is and why his opinion matters. Just something simple like "Zipp Newman, a contemporary journalist (or however you want to distinguish him), once
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The legacy section is just one line. Is there not anything more to add to that, perhaps how he was viewed by contemporaries or those who came after him? Anything to expand it a bit.
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It's slow going with the lawyer additions. Most sources say no more than he taught law and was a corporate lawyer. I tried to add a bit. 15:16, 31 May 2017 (UTC)
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971:"McGugin selected: Bull Brown..." Is there anyway to either expand this part, or move it into a different paragraph? Just the one sentence like that is awkward.
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Consider moving the family section into the early life section; it's short enough and early enough in his life to not disrupt anything, and would look better.
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It' definitely more fleshed out than before, and gives a better look at him, so I'm going to give it a pass. However feel free to add more if you find it.
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Looks good. Just one question though, is it possible to expand the lawyer section at all, or is that as much as can be said about him in that field?
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Vanderbilt section just starts with him being coach. Is there any details on how he got to that position, as it is kind of abrupt.
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The caption for the image of
Guliver and its reference for McGugin should note its a quote from a sportswriter.
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