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Talk:Dee Duponte/GA1

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42: 407:
That article also says she came to Hawaii in 1958, which is off by more than two decades according to the other sources โ€“ that's why I chose not to cite that source except for details about her death and funeral. Happy to add it if you still think it should be added,
217:
Surely not, but the source isn't any more specific. Changed to "after beginning her campaign late in the election season" which I feel is less idiomatic while still being supported by the source. Made a similar change for both occurrences of
189:
The sentence beginning "In 1948, she was" feels rather run-on-y to me. Could it be, perhaps, split up or rephrased? For instance, is "during an election campaign season" even needed, as it could well be garnered from context?
193:
Rephrased to "In 1948, she was fired; she claimed that the firing was motivated by her support for her husband Harold Duponte's campaign to be County Attorney as a Democrat." Better, I think?
242:
I wish it could - but not with the source currently used, and I haven't been able to find a more detailed one on the subject, though that doesn't mean it isn't out there.
80: 70: 47: 279:, and please don't feel any rush โ€“ real life takes priority. I've made changes based on your suggestions and will look forward to the source check! 231:" a controversial figure" is there anything to add about the controvery? controversial to whom? for the actions the next sentence describes? 126: 122: 52: 198:
suggest reviewing for overlinks, I remoed links to education and secretary. Similar broad concept links are probably not needed
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If we know how long the couple were married, suggest adding the approximate year of their marrieage earlier in the text.
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Just some thoughts, prose is generally fine. Nothing super major. Suggestions, all. Will be back with source check.
412:, but I want to double-check with you first since details suggest that source may be inaccurate. Let me know! 389:
cites a Louisville birthplace. suggest mentioning both. Happy to pass after that point is resolved.
386: 444:-- Obituaries can be iffy particularly when they just contain funeral information. Happy to pass 201:
Overlinks are an Achilles' heel of mine. I appreciate the removals you made. I made a few others.
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What does "last-minute campaign" in this context mean? surely not literally last minute
178: 445: 409: 390: 358: 340: 322: 304: 276: 257: 206:"Duponte went on to run" could this be quantified? Even if just "After being fired," 146: 223:" Duponte served two terms in the Territorial House" suggest adding the term length 441: 92: 418: 285: 457: 431: 402: 370: 352: 334: 316: 298: 269: 160: 234:
Clarified โ€“ what I have there now is all the source says on the subject
177:
A four paragraph lede feels like a lot for an article of this size (
239:"difficulties caused by her" could this be elaborated upon at all? 226:
The source doesn't say, and I don't want to add original research
385:
one thing about the sources I checked doesn't line up:
134: 103: 339:I haven't found much that would substantially add 436:No, that is fair. I've done similar things at 173:(Apologies, got swamped with work this week) 8: 30: 61: 33: 7: 184:I gave it a try. See what you think? 321:Image seems licensed appropriately 24: 303:Happy with your changes to date. 181:), could it be condensed at all? 275:Thanks so much for reviewing, 1: 458:01:17, 10 January 2022 (UTC) 432:00:59, 10 January 2022 (UTC) 403:19:53, 9 January 2022 (UTC) 371:19:45, 9 January 2022 (UTC) 353:19:45, 9 January 2022 (UTC) 335:19:41, 9 January 2022 (UTC) 317:19:41, 9 January 2022 (UTC) 299:04:23, 7 January 2022 (UTC) 270:02:55, 7 January 2022 (UTC) 161:23:00, 3 January 2022 (UTC) 478: 169:Prose and other miscellany 250:Great suggestion! Done. 357:sources seem reliable 456: 438:May Childs Nerney 430: 401: 369: 351: 333: 315: 297: 268: 89: 88: 469: 448: 416: 415: 393: 361: 343: 325: 307: 283: 282: 260: 139: 130: 111: 43:Copyvio detector 31: 18:Talk:Dee Duponte 477: 476: 472: 471: 470: 468: 467: 466: 454: 413: 399: 367: 349: 331: 313: 280: 266: 171: 120: 97: 91: 85: 57: 29: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 475: 473: 465: 464: 463: 462: 461: 460: 450: 395: 382: 381: 380: 379: 378: 377: 376: 375: 374: 373: 363: 345: 327: 309: 262: 254: 253: 252: 251: 245: 244: 243: 237: 236: 235: 229: 228: 227: 221: 220: 219: 218:"last-minute". 212: 211: 210: 204: 203: 202: 196: 195: 194: 187: 186: 185: 179:MOS:LEADLENGTH 170: 167: 140: 87: 86: 84: 83: 78: 73: 67: 64: 63: 59: 58: 56: 55: 53:External links 50: 45: 39: 36: 35: 28: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 474: 459: 455: 453: 447: 443: 439: 435: 434: 433: 428: 424: 420: 411: 406: 405: 404: 400: 398: 392: 388: 384: 383: 372: 368: 366: 360: 356: 355: 354: 350: 348: 342: 338: 337: 336: 332: 330: 324: 320: 319: 318: 314: 312: 306: 302: 301: 300: 295: 291: 287: 278: 274: 273: 272: 271: 267: 265: 259: 249: 248: 246: 241: 240: 238: 233: 232: 230: 225: 224: 222: 216: 215: 213: 208: 207: 205: 200: 199: 197: 192: 191: 188: 183: 182: 180: 176: 175: 174: 168: 166: 163: 162: 158: 155: 152: 148: 145: 141: 138: 137: 133: 128: 124: 119: 118: 114: 109: 105: 101: 96: 95: 82: 79: 77: 74: 72: 69: 68: 66: 65: 60: 54: 51: 49: 46: 44: 41: 40: 38: 37: 32: 26: 19: 449: 394: 362: 344: 326: 308: 261: 255: 172: 164: 153: 143: 142: 135: 131: 117:Article talk 116: 112: 93: 90: 81:Instructions 442:Fabian Ware 165:can review 104:visual edit 48:Authorship 34:GA toolbox 144:Reviewer: 71:Templates 62:Reviewing 27:GA Review 446:Eddie891 410:Eddie891 391:Eddie891 359:Eddie891 341:Eddie891 323:Eddie891 305:Eddie891 277:Eddie891 258:Eddie891 157:contribs 147:Eddie891 76:Criteria 127:history 108:history 94:Article 209:Added! 427:ctrbs 414:ezlev 294:ctrbs 281:ezlev 136:Watch 16:< 452:Work 440:and 419:user 397:Work 387:this 365:Work 347:Work 329:Work 311:Work 286:user 264:Work 151:talk 123:edit 100:edit 423:tlk 290:tlk 159:) 125:| 106:| 102:| 429:) 425:/ 421:/ 417:( 296:) 292:/ 288:/ 284:( 154:ยท 149:( 132:ยท 129:) 121:( 113:ยท 110:) 98:(

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Talk:Dee Duponte
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Eddie891
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23:00, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
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02:55, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
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04:23, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
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