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This sentence needs to be re-organized. I recommend something like: "The ship was transferred shortly to the
British Isles to escort shipping after the beginning of World War II.
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Several problems with this sentence. Re-word to "Gipsy and her entire flotilla were transferred to the
Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October 1939".
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You say that it can carry 470 long tons (480 t) of fuel oil, but shouldn't the measurements be in gallons or something? Maybe I'm ignorant…
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This is all I see, I will place the article on hold for a few weeks before I fail it (if comments aren't attended to). Good luck,
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The ship was transferred shortly after the beginning of World War II to the
British Isles to escort shipping in local waters.
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Gipsy, and her entire flotilla, was transferred to the
Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October.
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204:. Reads poorly. Change to: "…outside Harwich, causing her to sink and lose of 30 of her crew."
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Exclusive of government-furnished equipment like the armament, the ship cost ÂŁ250,364.
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Reads poorly. Change to "but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began".
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The link "21-inch (533 mm)" should be extended to "21-inch (533 mm) torpedoes".
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Unlink "1st
Destroyer Flotilla" and re-word to "first Destroyer Flotilla".
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Military unit names are not spelled out. 82nd
Airborne Division,
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Less than a month after her arrival she struck a mine outside…
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This line doesn't read well to me. It should be re-worded.
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Again, 1st
Destroyer Flotilla → first Destroyer Flotilla.
202:…outside Harwich and sank with the loss of 30 of her crew.
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Why? It's a motto, not a title. Thanks for the review.--
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On the outbreak of war in
September 1939 Gipsy was…
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239:Nope, that's how it's measured in ships.
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354:The one garrisoning Harwich in the UK.
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245:For anti-aircraft defence Gipsy had…
231:Really? Feet and meters both linked.
216:, when it should actually link to
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351:Which army are you referring to?
278:Change to "at Govan, Scotland".
171:should be changed to "pre-war".
298:…Gipsy spent the prewar period…
196:No, it's linked, that suffices.
193:Change "mine" to "naval mine".
1:
401:04:26, 26 February 2011 (UTC)
375:06:41, 26 February 2011 (UTC)
247:it's defense, not "defence".
212:You link "overall length" to
163:03:56, 26 February 2011 (UTC)
362:Luck should be capitalized.
228:Meters needs to be linked.
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250:Not in British English.
311:1st Cruiser Squadron
276:at Govan in Scotland
18:Talk:HMS Gipsy (H63)
321:Comma after 1939.
300:prewar → pre-war.
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81:Instructions
324:Good catch.
223:Good catch.
207:I disagree.
104:visual edit
332:Again, no.
270:Good idea.
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
76:Criteria
185:Agreed.
127:history
108:history
94:Article
313:, etc.
169:prewar
387:Crowz
292:Done.
281:Done.
258:Done.
174:Done.
149:Crowz
136:Watch
16:<
371:talk
343:Done
123:edit
100:edit
395:RSA
157:RSA
373:)
220:.
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132:·
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