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613:"The Bulletin of the Hill Museum, 1921–1932 and Alfred George Gabriel published " feels like something is missing from here, e.g. "with". And there probably needs to be a comma after 1932. I would also move to the end of the sentence because with the red link and the mid-sentence ref, it looks unpleasant.
174:
Great, thanks, very helpful. Comments below without replies have been implemented in the article; replies/explanations have been added where relevant. (Apologies for the dashes, I did check a number of times while working on this article last year but the wrong ones do seem to keep creeping
674:
There was an issue with references which I HOPE I've fixed. Please do double check that I haven't blown anything. Otherwise, I'm more than happy with this so I'm promoting now. Cheers, good work.
387:"Mr. Joicey was also generous" the article has quite a few quotes, in different formats. This one, who said it? I'm not sure how much it adds to the encyclopedic content of the article.
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635:"Butterflies from the Joicey collection i" this is a fragment so no full stop. Also, for consistency, shouldn't that be Collection rather than collection?
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No need to link
British. I'm not even particularly convinced you need to link butterfly but since the article relates, I can let that one slide.
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Many thanks. I've checked and everything seems in order. Your edits have been very helpful and it has been a pleasure working with you.
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That's a first quick pass. Once we've addressed these issues, I'll give it a more thorough going over. So, it's on hold for now.
265:
In footnote , "He is also listed in London electoral registers from 1920 to 1925 at Marble Arch as
Admiral Joicey." is unreferenced.
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I would like to leave this as a quote as it is the estimate given by the author of the cited source and may or may not be accurate.
598:
Hmmm - missed it because it doesn't show as an external link on the page and its URL doesn't start with http. Fixed now.
205:" by the Natural History Museum, London. " no need to link London. And perhaps say "in London" rather than ", London."
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293:"Europe, India, China, Japan, Burma and America"" no need for all these to be linked. Common geographical places.
287:"at age sixteen he " either "at the age of sixteen" or "at sixteen" sounds more natural to this BritEng ear.
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Done, and made all "collection"s lower case as there isn't really an entity called the "Joicey
Collection".
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Not keen on the formatting of that quote in the lead, just put it inline? And I would attribute it too.
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459:""over eighty feet long by twenty feet wide"" not sure why this needs to be in quotes. It's pure fact.
365:"By 1919, Joicey was spending nearly £10,000 a year on the collection..." you already said this.
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296:"£10,000 a year " any chance of inflating this so we can judge it against today's standards?
539:
Thanks again, let me know if I've missed anything. Looking forward to the next iteration.
447:
318:"(council member 1920—1923), " ref order and that should be an en-dash, not an em-dash.
190:"an enormous collection" slight tone issue there, I would go for "extensive" perhaps.
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211:" of Major William James Joicey, a " etc, no external links inline please.
499:"Obituary - Mr. J. J. Joicey - Gifts to " en-dashes. Check others.
202:" of the following learned societies: " no need for this at all.
321:"be a man of leisure" a little colloquial for an encyclopedia.
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and provide links to them all in one place for easy reference.
343:"the exorbitant interest rates" again, a little POV in tone.
591:"his 1922 book on" this is still an inline external link.
493:"295-301" etc, page ranges should be en-dash, not hyphen.
243:"at The Hill in " that is one heck of an Easter egg link.
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Fixed, thanks. Also thanks for your recent direct edits.
217:"1921-1932" en-dash, not hyphen. And four references??
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Still a few external links being used inline there...
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feet/miles/inches, all could use conversion to metric.
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If you wish to link estate, do it on the first usage.
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The references cover each of the four volumes of the
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Same for year ranges, e.g. "1929-1940" in the refs.
437:"The primary object " no attribution for this quote.
199:"and to have numbered " no need for "to have" here.
484:"Joicey Collection Examples" examples lower case.
443:"c.1913" space after circa. I think using the
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193:No need to link common terms like "museum".
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394:Deleted quote. Other quotes attributed.
196:"held in private hands" held privately.
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456:"1918—1920 endash not emdash again.
506:All dashes checked in Source View.
24:
1:
487:Type (biology) is overlinked.
681:Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!
665:Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!
560:Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!
527:Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!
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701:08:49, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
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652:00:31, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
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416:Revised to "head curator".
409:"head keeper" what's that?
161:11:01, 13 April 2020 (UTC)
440:"assistants." ref order.
272:Thanks, reference added.
214:"née Clark. " ref order.
453:template enforces this.
303:Value estimates added.
18:Talk:James John Joicey
490:" London." ref order.
434:"aged 61." ref order.
350:Deleted "exorbitant".
250:Agreed, link removed.
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104:visual edit
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71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
620:Revised.
372:Deleted.
226:Bulletin
167:Comments
157:contribs
76:Criteria
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127:history
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94:Article
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136:Watch
16:<
175:in!)
151:talk
123:edit
100:edit
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