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Also, can you say how many events she competed in at each of her championships. Something like at X games she competed in 2 individual freestyle and 3 individual breastroke and 3 different relay events. This can be followed by she earned such and such medals and broke such and such records (like you
1048:
I personally don't think it's proper for this article. It's good information to know but it would just be excessive. If the reader truly cared about those details, they can simply click on the link in the record box. I know of no other swimming related article that has that kind of format in the
1148:
Are the dates really necessary for the
Olympic Trials section? I wouldn't be really sure how to even word it without going into detail about the races, which I don't think would be appropriate seeing she was "positive" at the time. Anyways, the 2005–08 section is done. I will get to the 2010
387:
Notes are made that says the 2005 and 2007 Championships are long course meets. No need to do that for the 2006 Short Course World
Championships because the title is pretty obvious. Also made changes to please your second
854:
The reader needs an explanation on how the world record holder does not qualify to compete. In fact that section is confusing because it seems like she competed in many individual events at the Pan
Pacific
951:
I am confused by the subsections in this area and not sure what parts of the paragraph refer to the Pan pacs or the nationals. It seems like the Pan Pac stuff should be in the section below.--
1012:
succession box in terms of how it gives a new line when he broke his own record? I have not seen it anywhere else and did it myself. Do you think it would help the reader in this case?
118:
I apologize, but I have one on the verge of completion. It is probably some sort of breach of etiquette to start commenting on this one before I conclude the formalities at
652:
I have been traveling and want to give this fuller attention. You can start working on these points. After each of my concerns reply on the following line. I will
448:
I meant to merge the 2008 meet with those before it not the section after it. You could have an early career section, a doping issue section and then comeback.--
1067:
When Phelps next appears at FAC, I will bring this up when there are a lot of eyes on the article. I don't think it would look much different from Bonds.--
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I think bunching them together is more confusing than helpful. Keeping them both seperate avoids any confusion whatsoever. That's just me.
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I don't understand the meaning of the term Age group coach in this context. Also what age group (10-11, 12-13, u15, U17 ????)--
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Now each meet has enough content for its own paragraph (barely). Also merge in the 2008 section into one pre doping section.--
1367:
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There's no link to that specific meet but I have linked the 2008 Trials to the United States
Olympic Team Trials in Swimming.
39:
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Does "The
American coaches decided to also enter her in the 50 m freestyle" refer to the national or pan pacific event?--
582:
I expanded it slightly. I want to put more information about her relationship with Salo but I can't find any references.
511:
The reader needs to know about where she grew up or went to high school. This article is not going to pass the breadth (
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O.K. but the reader is not going to know if the World
Acquatics Championships is short or long course.--
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Can you add the dates for each event in the 2005-08 section, the 2008 trials and the 2010 events.
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we do not even know which strokes she does, let alone which ones she is a world recordholder in.
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In all other sports, merging same subject succession boxes is standard. See people like
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Upon initial inspection, I have some similar concerns to the initial reviewer. In the
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Sorry for the delay. I've finished everything except the 2008 Olympic trials section.
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I assume your talking about the 2009 FINA World Cup? Yes. It's already been linked.
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The article is very heavy on her competitive swimming and needs to be more broad.
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I've added her high school, information about her parents, and awards information.
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You still need to expand the middle para. Try describing the events spanned.--
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3A) without telling me something about non-world class competitor years.
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One-sentence or one-line paragraphs need to be merged or expanded.
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Would really like to know more about this woman than her swimming
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I kinda started on it. Give me time, I'm a little busy with my
252:
Lead is done, but 2005-07 needs to be improved in this regard.--
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Explained. I don't want to get way into it and get off topic.
1008:
I am not sure if it is proper, but what do you think of
690:
74:
43:
181:I expanded the lead and addressed your concerns.
831:What about a link for U.S. Olympic Team Trials?
755:. Unless you have a reason, please revert.--
8:
1484:(images are tagged and non-free images have
1049:record box. Imagine if that were done to
937:Pan Pacs. I added it in the article.
7:
808:Does Swimming World Cup have a link?
1479:, where possible and appropriate.
24:
1053:' article. That would be a mess!
1529:
1512:Could use another picture or two
1505:
1491:
1460:
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1433:Fair representation without bias
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1186:In that early section shouldn't
1149:section later if you don't mind.
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566:Age group coach needs expansion.
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294:I've merged the 2005-07 section.
285:
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723:20:05, 30 September 2010 (UTC)
684:08:01, 28 September 2010 (UTC)
656:issues as they are resolved.--
592:22:24, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
557:22:24, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
533:04:00, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
369:20:00, 30 September 2010 (UTC)
336:19:54, 30 September 2010 (UTC)
304:22:24, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
280:15:21, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
237:14:54, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
223:04:37, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
191:04:00, 29 September 2010 (UTC)
154:15:58, 24 September 2010 (UTC)
113:07:06, 24 September 2010 (UTC)
1:
689:What is the reasoning behind
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1238:15:40, 3 October 2010 (UTC)
1222:05:04, 3 October 2010 (UTC)
1177:23:25, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
1159:20:19, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
1142:13:50, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
1095:13:56, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
1063:23:45, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
1042:22:33, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
993:19:35, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
979:17:06, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
947:15:53, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
933:13:54, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
901:15:41, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
885:03:34, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
847:15:41, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
824:15:41, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
797:15:41, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
783:03:16, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
739:01:55, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
640:15:53, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
626:13:59, 2 October 2010 (UTC)
490:20:13, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
476:18:48, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
444:15:41, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
430:03:07, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
398:01:55, 1 October 2010 (UTC)
120:Talk:Jennifer Connelly/GA1
1554:
1262:
1192:be linked and italicized.
1270:reasonably well written
1189:Swimming World Magazine
1498:(appropriate use with
124:Talk:Jessica Hardy/GA1
1473:It is illustrated by
1425:neutral point of view
1388:broad in its coverage
1486:fair use rationales
1457:No edit wars, etc.
1329:factually accurate
18:Talk:Jessica Hardy
1500:suitable captions
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1422:It follows the
1395:(major aspects)
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1051:Michael Phelps
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893:138.162.140.53
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855:championships.
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753:Michael Jordan
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523:at the moment.
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749:Wayne Gretzky
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1342:(references)
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1249:
1244:Final review
1196:TonyTheTiger
1187:
1185:
1116:TonyTheTiger
1103:
1069:TonyTheTiger
1016:TonyTheTiger
1007:
953:TonyTheTiger
907:TonyTheTiger
859:TonyTheTiger
853:
830:
807:
757:TonyTheTiger
697:TonyTheTiger
688:
658:TonyTheTiger
653:
600:TonyTheTiger
578:
565:
543:
510:
450:TonyTheTiger
404:TonyTheTiger
343:TonyTheTiger
310:TonyTheTiger
290:
254:TonyTheTiger
247:
197:TonyTheTiger
177:
160:
128:TonyTheTiger
87:TonyTheTiger
83:
82:
75:
71:
57:Article talk
56:
52:
33:
30:
1301:word choice
1230:68.5.214.41
1228:Yes. Done.
1169:68.5.214.41
1151:68.5.214.41
985:68.5.214.41
939:68.5.214.41
745:Barry Bonds
632:68.5.214.41
525:68.5.214.41
183:68.5.214.41
44:visual edit
1334:verifiable
1213:WP:CHICAGO
1133:WP:CHICAGO
1086:WP:CHICAGO
1055:Philipmj24
1033:WP:CHICAGO
970:WP:CHICAGO
924:WP:CHICAGO
876:WP:CHICAGO
774:WP:CHICAGO
731:Philipmj24
714:WP:CHICAGO
675:WP:CHICAGO
617:WP:CHICAGO
584:Philipmj24
549:Philipmj24
467:WP:CHICAGO
421:WP:CHICAGO
390:Philipmj24
360:WP:CHICAGO
327:WP:CHICAGO
296:Philipmj24
271:WP:CHICAGO
214:WP:CHICAGO
145:WP:CHICAGO
104:WP:CHICAGO
1526:Pass/Fail
1405:(focused)
691:this diff
630:Reworded.
84:Reviewer:
27:GA Review
513:WP:WIAGA
388:request.
1520:Overall
1305:fiction
1277:(prose)
1217:WP:FOUR
1137:WP:FOUR
1090:WP:FOUR
1037:WP:FOUR
974:WP:FOUR
928:WP:FOUR
880:WP:FOUR
778:WP:FOUR
718:WP:FOUR
679:WP:FOUR
621:WP:FOUR
471:WP:FOUR
425:WP:FOUR
364:WP:FOUR
331:WP:FOUR
275:WP:FOUR
218:WP:FOUR
163:WP:LEAD
149:WP:FOUR
108:WP:FOUR
67:history
48:history
34:Article
1476:images
1451:stable
1449:It is
1427:policy
1386:It is
1327:It is
1307:, and
1297:layout
1268:It is
1253:review
654:strike
1309:lists
1255:(see
983:Done.
227:Done.
76:Watch
16:<
1331:and
1293:lead
1291:for
1257:here
1234:talk
1173:talk
1155:talk
1059:talk
989:talk
943:talk
897:talk
843:talk
820:talk
793:talk
787:O.K.
735:talk
636:talk
588:talk
579:Done
553:talk
544:Done
529:talk
486:talk
480:O.K.
440:talk
434:O.K.
394:talk
300:talk
291:Done
233:talk
187:talk
178:Done
63:edit
40:edit
1289:MoS
1209:BIO
1129:BIO
1082:BIO
1029:BIO
966:BIO
920:BIO
872:BIO
770:BIO
751:or
710:BIO
671:BIO
613:BIO
521:job
463:BIO
417:BIO
356:BIO
323:BIO
267:BIO
210:BIO
141:BIO
126:.--
100:BIO
1528::
1522::
1504::
1496:b
1490::
1482:a
1459::
1453:.
1435::
1429:.
1407::
1403:b
1397::
1393:a
1390:.
1372::
1368:OR
1364:c
1358::
1350:b
1344::
1340:a
1337:.
1313::
1303:,
1299:,
1295:,
1285:b
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