735:. In this case, I've reproduced proper names as they appear ("Kim Jong-il", "Aesthetic Review Meeting" and other party organizations, names of films). There is no free content involved as the source (David-West 2009) and all others are copyrighted. As for quoting, I don't feel that it's necessary here; the source offers no particularly poignant wording and skillful paraphrasing leads to a more encyclopedic outcome here. I've further changed the wording to avoid close paraphrasing. Are we in agreement that the level of paraphrasing is now acceptable? Changes:
515:
294:
1351:
1331:
1291:
1223:
1174:
1158:
1138:
1107:
1371:
1266:
1243:
1194:
1071:
42:
995:
571:
207:
176:
910:: "Concise opinions that are not overly emotive can often be reported with attribution instead of direct quotation. Use of quotation marks around simple descriptive terms can often seem to imply something doubtful regarding the material being quoted; sarcasm or weasel words, like "supposedly" or "so called", might be inferred."
762:
Phrasing like "In total, Kim had obtained around a decade of experience in the state arts bureaucracy by this time" is far too close to the source material and requires paraphrasing. "State arts bureaucracy" could easily be changed to government arts council or something else that fits into the NK
315:
I've read this many times and I find it too informal. Could you clean it up a bit? There are many different ways you could do it, but something like this might work as a good starting point: "The influence of the book on North Korean films is disputed." This sentence could then be briefly expanded
716:
Here's a simple three-step checklist to help you fix the close paraphrasing and avoid it in the future: 1) do exceptions apply, such as proper nouns or free content? If yes, leave it, if no, then 2) look to see if the material is a good candidate for quoting and attributing. If yes, add the quotes
688:
You're right, "creative industry" isn't the same thing as "state arts bureaucracy". I tried to find an equivalent to avoid close paraphrasing but the meaning was altered. I have returned "state arts bureaucracy". I have also returned the destruction of the conference archive, as it seems relevant
666:
Thank you for making an effort. Looking at the diffs, there is now an unclear anachronism (creative industry instead of government) and inadvertent downplaying and omission (prohibition instead of burning of books). You might want to leave it but come back to it, perhaps with a second source.
395:
I've separated these two phrases to form a new paragraph and got rid of the problematic words. It now eliminates a problematic POV that suggested that because the book had a political role it should have had an effect on filmmaking (no sources suggest this). It now reads: "The impact of
861:"Foreign" appears in double quotation marks in the source. I am unsure as to what the source is trying to do here: quote Kim (the source quotes Kim immediately after the sentence) or express its own POV. In either case, I'm quoting the opinion of either Kim or David-West.
241:
On
Knowledge, the convention is to use the full name in the first instance, followed by a surname in subsequent instances. Some editors repeat this convention for each section. So for each section, use the full name first, followed by "Kim" for second usage.
337:
I've replaced it with the following: "Its actual impact on North Korean filmmaking, however, is disputed. Films from before and after the publication of the treatise are very similar in style and many contemporary films breach various rules laid out in
781:. I have rephrased the problematic parts to read: "Kim had worked in the government arts administration for almost ten years by this time." I also altered wordings in other sections to avoid close paraphrasing. Changes:
638:
you are right; some of it is very closely paraphrased (since the source is copyrighted, this is unacceptable). I believe I have fixed it now, but let me know if you think something that should be refined:
689:
enough. I tried to see if some other sources have something more to say about this, but I couldn't find anything. If you think this section needs more work, I'll take another look more sources. Changes:
400:
on North Korean filmmaking is disputed. Films from before and after the publication of the treatise are similar in style and many contemporary films breach various rules laid out in the treatise."
717:
and attribute the source, if no, then 3) rewrite the material using your own phrasing and wording that best summarizes the material. Now, see if you can apply this to the above problem.
47:
126:
1152:
80:
763:
political structure. "Decade of experience" also needs to be paraphrased. Again, please review the current content because I don't want to raise this issue again.
122:
957:
How about: Kim forbade discussion on foreign film concepts? Paraphrasing instead of quoting, and eliminating the quotation marks around "foreign" altogether.
52:
107:
70:
839:
Although Kim is known to have been privately interested in
Hollywood films, he forbade discussion on 'foreign' film concepts at the Aesthetic Review Meeting
1321:
1101:
1396:
due to personal health problems, I am unable to finish this review. Please request a new reviewer or make a comment on the GAN talk page. Thank you.
99:
371:
1422:
1148:
1041:
1437:
1013:
969:
922:
799:
753:
707:
657:
589:
492:
457:
412:
354:
273:
877:
says "Avoid stating opinions as facts" and recommends explicit attribution (quoting). I could quote the source as saying that Kim:
431:
Question: why doesn't the lead mention the two main theories in the book–the theory of literature as humanics and the seed theory?
466:
Nice work, but please very briefly tell the reader what they are. Remember, the lead should be able to standalone as a summary.
156:
75:
1168:
536:
graduation from what and where? I visited the parent article to find out and it looks like there's a bit of a mystery here.
1425:. I thank you for the wonderful contribution you have made so far to this article and the review. I wish you all the best.
115:
17:
1199:
614:
943:
Thanks, but it seems like a case of paraphrasing is needed instead of quoting. In other words, why quote here at all?
1325:
1341:
1081:
1065:
847:, double quotation marks should be used for "foreign". It isn't exactly clear if you are quoting a POV or not.
1313:
370:
it is certainly an improvement, but try to minimize the use of words like actual, however, very, and many, per
92:
1317:
1237:
1124:
256:
I have done so. I've used "Kim Jong-il" whenever Kim Il-sung is also discussed to avoid confusion. Changes:
1285:
1217:
551:
1433:
1009:
965:
918:
795:
749:
703:
653:
585:
488:
453:
408:
350:
269:
1188:
1184:
844:
617:
of the David-West 2009 source in this section. Please review. Is the David-West source copyrighted?
1401:
983:
948:
852:
813:
768:
722:
672:
622:
559:
541:
471:
436:
379:
321:
247:
220:
189:
150:
1418:
1428:
1391:
1305:
1233:
1132:
1089:
1004:
960:
913:
874:
790:
744:
698:
648:
608:
580:
531:
483:
448:
403:
365:
345:
310:
264:
1441:
1405:
1045:
1017:
987:
973:
952:
926:
856:
817:
803:
772:
757:
726:
711:
676:
661:
626:
593:
563:
545:
496:
475:
461:
440:
416:
383:
358:
325:
277:
251:
224:
193:
160:
1412:
1397:
1256:
1085:
979:
944:
848:
809:
778:
764:
732:
718:
683:
668:
633:
618:
555:
537:
467:
432:
390:
375:
332:
317:
243:
216:
185:
146:
906:
In any case, MOS doesn't recommend quoting a single word with double quotation marks:
514:
293:
1345:
1097:
1093:
1061:
907:
884:
304:
Actual impact on North Korean films themselves, however, is disputed
1423:
Knowledge talk:Good article nominations#New reviewer needed
889:
783:
737:
691:
641:
525:
After his graduation in 1964, Kim Jong-il engaged in...
258:
134:
103:
1417:
I've made the template steps required by the FAQ at
808:I need more patience, who doesn't? Good work.
880:"banned discussion on 'foreign' film concepts"
878:
8:
1340:B. Images are provided if possible and are
30:
1068:", without spelling and grammar errors:
372:Knowledge:Manual of Style/Words to watch
61:
33:
7:
978:Please try it and see if it works.
1263:Fair representation without bias:
1193:
1070:
887:). I've implemented this. Change:
24:
1369:
1349:
1329:
1289:
1264:
1241:
1221:
1192:
1172:
1156:
1136:
1105:
1069:
993:
569:
513:
292:
205:
174:
1370:
1265:
1242:
550:The source you are using says
1:
1442:10:35, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
1406:08:35, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
1133:appropriate reference section
777:Thank you for your patience,
18:Talk:On the Art of the Cinema
1350:
1330:
1290:
1222:
1200:Knowledge:Close paraphrasing
1173:
1157:
1137:
1106:
1018:13:31, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
988:20:29, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
974:03:14, 7 February 2016 (UTC)
953:20:13, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
927:11:43, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
857:03:07, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
818:10:32, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
804:03:09, 4 February 2016 (UTC)
773:03:06, 2 February 2016 (UTC)
758:02:06, 2 February 2016 (UTC)
727:22:05, 1 February 2016 (UTC)
712:16:00, 1 February 2016 (UTC)
677:10:30, 1 February 2016 (UTC)
662:15:48, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
627:03:41, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
615:Knowledge:Close paraphrasing
594:23:59, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
564:23:24, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
546:20:30, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
497:13:31, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
480:Agreed. I have done so now.
476:20:28, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
462:03:08, 7 February 2016 (UTC)
441:20:21, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
417:15:09, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
384:03:05, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
359:02:05, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
326:01:06, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
278:11:43, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
252:03:34, 6 February 2016 (UTC)
225:01:23, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
194:01:23, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
161:07:25, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
1460:
445:It should; I've added it.
316:to summarize the dispute.
203:
172:
1322:valid fair use rationales
1309:to illustrate the topic?
1421:and posted a message at
398:On the Art of the Cinema
340:On the Art of the Cinema
1344:to the topic, and have
1055:reasonably well written
908:MOS:QUOTE#Point of view
882:
552:Kim Il-sung University
374:and other guidelines.
1211:broad in its coverage
883:. (single quotes per
1185:copyright violations
1169:No original research
731:Thanks for the tip,
613:I see an issue with
554:. Can you add that?
1384:New reviewer needed
1120:factually accurate
231:Naming conventions
1346:suitable captions
1324:are provided for
342:." Is this okay?
89:
88:
1451:
1431:
1416:
1395:
1373:
1372:
1353:
1352:
1333:
1332:
1326:non-free content
1318:copyright status
1293:
1292:
1268:
1267:
1245:
1244:
1225:
1224:
1196:
1195:
1176:
1175:
1160:
1159:
1149:reliable sources
1140:
1139:
1109:
1108:
1073:
1072:
1007:
1001:
997:
996:
963:
916:
892:
793:
786:
747:
740:
701:
694:
687:
651:
644:
637:
612:
583:
577:
573:
572:
535:
517:
486:
451:
406:
394:
369:
348:
336:
314:
296:
267:
261:
209:
208:
178:
177:
139:
130:
111:
43:Copyvio detector
31:
1459:
1458:
1454:
1453:
1452:
1450:
1449:
1448:
1426:
1410:
1389:
1386:
1153:where necessary
1084:compliance for
1038:
1002:
994:
992:
958:
911:
888:
788:
782:
742:
736:
696:
690:
681:
646:
640:
631:
606:
578:
570:
568:
529:
511:
481:
446:
401:
388:
363:
343:
330:
308:
290:
262:
257:
233:
212:
211:
206:
202:
181:
180:
175:
171:
120:
97:
91:
85:
57:
29:
22:
21:
20:
12:
11:
5:
1457:
1455:
1447:
1446:
1445:
1444:
1385:
1382:
1381:
1380:
1379:
1378:
1377:
1376:
1368:Pass or Fail:
1360:
1359:
1358:
1357:
1356:
1338:
1337:
1336:
1312:A. Images are
1300:
1299:
1298:
1297:
1296:
1275:
1274:
1273:
1272:
1271:
1252:
1251:
1250:
1249:
1248:
1230:
1229:
1228:
1207:
1206:
1205:
1204:
1203:
1181:
1180:
1179:
1165:
1164:
1163:
1145:
1144:
1143:
1116:
1115:
1114:
1113:
1112:
1094:words to watch
1078:
1077:
1076:
1037:
1034:
1033:
1032:
1031:
1030:
1029:
1028:
1027:
1026:
1025:
1024:
1023:
1022:
1021:
1020:
934:
933:
932:
931:
930:
929:
899:
898:
897:
896:
895:
894:
867:
866:
865:
864:
863:
862:
836:
835:
834:
833:
832:
831:
830:
829:
828:
827:
826:
825:
824:
823:
822:
821:
820:
603:
602:
601:
600:
599:
598:
597:
596:
510:
507:
506:
505:
504:
503:
502:
501:
500:
499:
428:
427:
426:
425:
424:
423:
422:
421:
420:
419:
289:
286:
285:
284:
283:
282:
281:
280:
232:
229:
228:
227:
204:
201:
198:
197:
196:
173:
170:
167:
165:
140:
87:
86:
84:
83:
78:
73:
67:
64:
63:
59:
58:
56:
55:
53:External links
50:
45:
39:
36:
35:
28:
25:
23:
15:
14:
13:
10:
9:
6:
4:
3:
2:
1456:
1443:
1439:
1435:
1430:
1424:
1420:
1414:
1409:
1408:
1407:
1403:
1399:
1393:
1388:
1387:
1383:
1375:
1374:
1367:
1366:
1364:
1361:
1355:
1354:
1347:
1343:
1339:
1335:
1334:
1327:
1323:
1319:
1315:
1311:
1310:
1308:
1307:
1301:
1295:
1294:
1287:
1283:
1282:
1280:
1276:
1270:
1269:
1262:
1261:
1259:
1258:
1253:
1247:
1246:
1239:
1238:summary style
1235:
1231:
1227:
1226:
1219:
1218:Major aspects
1215:
1214:
1212:
1208:
1201:
1198:
1197:
1190:
1186:
1182:
1178:
1177:
1170:
1166:
1162:
1161:
1154:
1150:
1146:
1142:
1141:
1134:
1130:
1129:
1127:
1126:
1121:
1117:
1111:
1110:
1103:
1099:
1095:
1091:
1087:
1083:
1079:
1075:
1074:
1067:
1063:
1060:A. Prose is "
1059:
1058:
1056:
1052:
1051:
1050:
1049:
1047:
1044:review – see
1043:
1035:
1019:
1015:
1011:
1006:
1000:
991:
990:
989:
985:
981:
977:
976:
975:
971:
967:
962:
956:
955:
954:
950:
946:
942:
941:
940:
939:
938:
937:
936:
935:
928:
924:
920:
915:
909:
905:
904:
903:
902:
901:
900:
891:
886:
881:
876:
873:
872:
871:
870:
869:
868:
860:
859:
858:
854:
850:
846:
845:WP:QUOTEMARKS
842:
841:
840:
837:
819:
815:
811:
807:
806:
805:
801:
797:
792:
785:
780:
776:
775:
774:
770:
766:
761:
760:
759:
755:
751:
746:
739:
734:
730:
729:
728:
724:
720:
715:
714:
713:
709:
705:
700:
693:
685:
680:
679:
678:
674:
670:
665:
664:
663:
659:
655:
650:
643:
635:
630:
629:
628:
624:
620:
616:
610:
605:
604:
595:
591:
587:
582:
576:
567:
566:
565:
561:
557:
553:
549:
548:
547:
543:
539:
533:
528:
527:
526:
523:
522:
521:
520:
516:
508:
498:
494:
490:
485:
479:
478:
477:
473:
469:
465:
464:
463:
459:
455:
450:
444:
443:
442:
438:
434:
430:
429:
418:
414:
410:
405:
399:
392:
387:
386:
385:
381:
377:
373:
367:
362:
361:
360:
356:
352:
347:
341:
334:
329:
328:
327:
323:
319:
312:
307:
306:
305:
302:
301:
300:
299:
295:
287:
279:
275:
271:
266:
260:
255:
254:
253:
249:
245:
240:
239:
238:
235:
234:
230:
226:
222:
218:
214:
213:
199:
195:
191:
187:
183:
182:
168:
166:
163:
162:
158:
155:
152:
148:
145:
141:
138:
137:
133:
128:
124:
119:
118:
114:
109:
105:
101:
96:
95:
82:
79:
77:
74:
72:
69:
68:
66:
65:
60:
54:
51:
49:
46:
44:
41:
40:
38:
37:
32:
26:
19:
1362:
1303:
1278:
1255:
1210:
1202:is a concern
1123:
1119:
1054:
1048:for criteria
1040:
1039:
998:
879:
838:
574:
524:
518:
512:
397:
339:
303:
297:
291:
236:
164:
153:
143:
142:
135:
131:
117:Article talk
116:
112:
93:
90:
81:Instructions
1429:Finnusertop
1392:Finnusertop
1316:with their
1005:Finnusertop
961:Finnusertop
914:Finnusertop
791:Finnusertop
745:Finnusertop
699:Finnusertop
649:Finnusertop
609:Finnusertop
581:Finnusertop
532:Finnusertop
484:Finnusertop
449:Finnusertop
404:Finnusertop
366:Finnusertop
346:Finnusertop
311:Finnusertop
265:Finnusertop
237:Kim Jong-il
104:visual edit
1189:plagiarism
1131:A. Has an
1125:verifiable
509:Background
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
1413:Viriditas
1398:Viriditas
1286:edit wars
1147:B. Cites
980:Viriditas
945:Viriditas
875:WP:YESPOV
849:Viriditas
810:Viriditas
779:Viriditas
765:Viriditas
733:Viriditas
719:Viriditas
684:Viriditas
669:Viriditas
634:Viriditas
619:Viriditas
556:Viriditas
538:Viriditas
468:Viriditas
433:Viriditas
391:Viriditas
376:Viriditas
333:Viriditas
318:Viriditas
244:Viriditas
217:Viriditas
186:Viriditas
147:Viriditas
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
1438:contribs
1342:relevant
1304:contain
1302:Does it
1046:WP:WIAGA
1036:Criteria
1014:contribs
970:contribs
923:contribs
800:contribs
754:contribs
708:contribs
658:contribs
590:contribs
519:Doing...
493:contribs
458:contribs
413:contribs
355:contribs
298:Doing...
274:contribs
210:Resolved
179:Resolved
157:contribs
76:Criteria
1363:Overall
1288:, etc:
1257:neutral
1234:Focused
1098:fiction
1066:concise
885:MOS:QWQ
200:Infobox
127:history
108:history
94:Article
1419:WT:GAN
1320:, and
1314:tagged
1306:images
1279:stable
1277:Is it
1254:Is it
1209:Is it
1183:D. No
1118:Is it
1100:, and
1090:layout
1053:Is it
169:Images
1236:(see
1102:lists
1062:clear
136:Watch
16:<
1434:talk
1402:talk
1187:nor
1122:and
1086:lead
1064:and
1010:talk
999:Done
984:talk
966:talk
949:talk
919:talk
890:diff
853:talk
843:Per
814:talk
796:talk
784:diff
769:talk
750:talk
738:diff
723:talk
704:talk
692:diff
673:talk
654:talk
642:diff
623:talk
586:talk
575:Done
560:talk
542:talk
489:talk
472:talk
454:talk
437:talk
409:talk
380:talk
351:talk
322:talk
288:Lead
270:talk
259:diff
248:talk
221:talk
215:OK.
190:talk
184:OK.
151:talk
123:edit
100:edit
1284:No
1240:):
1232:B.
1216:A.
1167:C.
1082:MoS
1080:B.
1440:)
1436:⋅
1427:–
1404:)
1365::
1348::
1328::
1281:?
1260:?
1220::
1213:?
1191::
1171::
1155::
1151:,
1135::
1128:?
1104::
1096:,
1092:,
1088:,
1057:?
1042:GA
1016:)
1012:⋅
1003:–
986:)
972:)
968:⋅
959:–
951:)
925:)
921:⋅
912:–
855:)
816:)
802:)
798:⋅
789:–
787:.
771:)
756:)
752:⋅
743:–
741:.
725:)
710:)
706:⋅
697:–
695:.
675:)
660:)
656:⋅
647:–
645:.
625:)
592:)
588:⋅
579:–
562:)
544:)
495:)
491:⋅
482:–
474:)
460:)
456:⋅
447:–
439:)
415:)
411:⋅
402:–
382:)
357:)
353:⋅
344:–
324:)
276:)
272:⋅
263:–
250:)
223:)
192:)
159:)
125:|
106:|
102:|
1432:(
1415::
1411:@
1400:(
1394::
1390:@
1008:(
982:(
964:(
947:(
917:(
893:.
851:(
812:(
794:(
767:(
748:(
721:(
702:(
686::
682:@
671:(
652:(
636::
632:@
621:(
611::
607:@
584:(
558:(
540:(
534::
530:@
487:(
470:(
452:(
435:(
407:(
393::
389:@
378:(
368::
364:@
349:(
335::
331:@
320:(
313::
309:@
268:(
246:(
219:(
188:(
154:·
149:(
132:·
129:)
121:(
113:·
110:)
98:(
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.