Knowledge (XXG)

Talk:Lisa on Ice/GA2

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434:"TV Squad's Adam Finley claimed the episode was 'a skewering of parents who become too involved in their children's sports and turn what should be a lesson in teamwork, trying your hardest, and losing gracefully into a kind of Roman Coliseum where grown adults live out violent fantasies and their own failed ambitions through their children'." The word claimed should be used only in the specific circumstances described in the MoS. 265:"When Moe visits Bart and Lisa at the Simpsons house to see if they have any injuries that may affect the odds of the upcoming game, Marge sends him away and he pleads: "They're gonna take my thumbs", which is a reference to Eric Roberts' line, "Charlie, they took my thumbs", from the 1984 film The Pope of Greenwich Village." Too many clauses to be clearly understood. 487: 468: 444: 416: 343: 273: 249: 184: 136: 117: 98: 79: 60: 366: 298: 223: 153: 128:"One of the things Scully loved as a child was to sit and listen by the radio waiting to see if there was going to be school snow day, and the episode starts out with Lisa tricking Bart into believing it is a snow day by throwing a snowball at him which she made out of the ice in the fridge." Unreadable, too many clauses. 214:"Scully thought there was nothing more disappointing then on an expected snow day to wake up and finding out there was no snow, which constantly happened to him as a child." There are a number of problems with this sentence. "Then" implies an order of events, and "disappointing than" is needed here. 216:
The phrase "snow day to wake up and finding" is broken in a few ways. What constantly happened to Scully? That he thought there was nothing more disappointing? That he woke up? I know what it is supposed to mean, but the there clause is not clear enough to understand on first reading.
109:"When Principal Skinner calls all the Springfield Elementary students down for an assembly to tell them which subjects they are failing, Lisa discovers to her horror that she is failing gym class." The dependent clause is longer than the independent clause, which is difficult to read. 52:"In trying to salvage her gym grade, she finds she possesses a skill for hockey, and rivalry with Bart in the rink escalates into their home life and beyond, fueled considerably by parents and coaches." Unreadable, too many clauses. 31:
I'm starting a reassessment because the article was reviewed in a very short time. Upon reading it, I found several problems specific to the GA criteria. I am sure these problems can be fixed and the status restored in short order.
460:(critical) "In its original American broadcast, "Lisa on Ice" finished 34th in the ratings for the week of November 7 to November 13, 1994, with a Nielsen rating of 11.6." The statistics in this sentence need a reference. 167:
is two sentences joined together without a semicolon or a comma plus a conjunction. The first sentence is "The match is tied". It needs a comma after the "tied", or they should be joined together a different
233:"Scully thought, because of his experience as a child, that there was nothing more disappointing than to wake up expecting a snow day, only to find out there was no snow." 147:(critical) "The match is tied and the residents of Springfield, not satisfied with this outcome, begin tearing the stadium to pieces." Run on sentence. 71:
Every sentence in the first paragraph consists of two complete ideas conjoined by "and". This is bad form and makes it unnecessarily difficult to read.
374: 306: 387:
provides an example of how to establish context in the first sentence: "Homer Simpson is a fictional character in the television series..."
90:"In order to pass and get the straight A grades she desires, she must join a sports program outside of school." Straight-A needs a hyphen. 504: 292:(critical) First sentence says it is the eighth episode, but this is not repeated elsewhere in the article. 592: 562: 612: 534: 517: 392: 320: 202: 37: 575: 545: 384: 17: 529:
Let me know if you need help addressing any of these issues or if you have any questions.
164: 608: 530: 513: 388: 316: 198: 33: 479:(critical) "TV Squad's Adam Finley claimed..." This quote needs a reference. 616: 599: 569: 538: 521: 396: 324: 206: 41: 544:
Thanks for reviewing. I left some replies further up. --
380:, which does not mention it as a "television episode." 312:, which only mentions the episode number in the lead. 507:
is not "low resolution" as claimed in the rationale.
356:(critical) The lead fails to mention that this is a 230:Any suggestions on how I can reword that sentence? 373:Same here, this article is modeled after the 8: 574:I think I've fixed everything now. =) -- 607:The article now meets the GA criteria. 7: 305:This article is modeled after the 24: 333:Nielsen rating needs a reference. 485: 466: 442: 414: 364: 341: 296: 271: 247: 221: 182: 151: 134: 115: 96: 77: 58: 1: 160:Not sure what you mean here. 617:16:01, 8 October 2008 (UTC) 600:13:25, 8 October 2008 (UTC) 570:14:50, 7 October 2008 (UTC) 539:00:51, 7 October 2008 (UTC) 522:02:46, 7 October 2008 (UTC) 397:05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC) 325:05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC) 207:05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC) 42:23:37, 6 October 2008 (UTC) 632: 315:You're right on this one. 505:Newton eat up martha.jpg 383:The GA criteria for the 623: 597: 590: 585: 580: 567: 560: 555: 550: 493: 489: 488: 474: 470: 469: 450: 446: 445: 422: 418: 417: 372: 368: 367: 349: 345: 344: 304: 300: 299: 279: 275: 274: 255: 251: 250: 229: 225: 224: 190: 186: 185: 159: 155: 154: 142: 138: 137: 123: 119: 118: 104: 100: 99: 85: 81: 80: 66: 62: 61: 18:Talk:Lisa on Ice 631: 630: 626: 625: 624: 622: 621: 620: 593: 586: 581: 576: 563: 556: 551: 546: 503:Fair use image 500: 486: 484: 467: 465: 457: 443: 441: 431:Words to avoid 415: 413: 365: 363: 342: 340: 297: 295: 286: 272: 270: 248: 246: 222: 220: 183: 181: 165:run-on sentence 152: 150: 135: 133: 116: 114: 97: 95: 78: 76: 59: 57: 49: 29: 27:GA Reassessment 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 629: 627: 605: 604: 603: 602: 527: 526: 525: 524: 499: 496: 495: 494: 481: 480: 476: 475: 462: 461: 456: 453: 452: 451: 438: 437: 436: 435: 428: 427: 426: 425: 424: 423: 406: 405: 404: 403: 402: 401: 400: 399: 351: 350: 337: 336: 335: 334: 331: 330: 329: 328: 327: 289:Lead sections 285: 282: 281: 280: 267: 266: 262: 261: 260: 259: 258: 257: 239: 238: 237: 236: 235: 234: 196: 195: 194: 193: 192: 191: 174: 173: 172: 171: 170: 169: 144: 143: 130: 129: 125: 124: 111: 110: 106: 105: 92: 91: 87: 86: 73: 72: 68: 67: 54: 53: 48: 45: 28: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 628: 619: 618: 614: 610: 601: 598: 596: 591: 589: 584: 579: 573: 572: 571: 568: 566: 561: 559: 554: 549: 543: 542: 541: 540: 536: 532: 523: 519: 515: 512: 509: 508: 506: 502: 501: 497: 492: 483: 482: 478: 477: 473: 464: 463: 459: 458: 454: 449: 440: 439: 433: 432: 430: 429: 421: 412: 411: 410: 409: 408: 407: 398: 394: 390: 386: 382: 381: 379: 377: 371: 362: 361: 359: 355: 354: 353: 352: 348: 339: 338: 332: 326: 322: 318: 314: 313: 311: 309: 303: 294: 293: 291: 290: 288: 287: 283: 278: 269: 268: 264: 263: 254: 245: 244: 243: 242: 241: 240: 232: 231: 228: 219: 218: 215: 211: 210: 209: 208: 204: 200: 189: 180: 179: 178: 177: 176: 175: 166: 162: 161: 158: 149: 148: 146: 145: 141: 132: 131: 127: 126: 122: 113: 112: 108: 107: 103: 94: 93: 89: 88: 84: 75: 74: 70: 69: 65: 56: 55: 51: 50: 46: 44: 43: 39: 35: 26: 19: 606: 594: 587: 582: 577: 564: 557: 552: 547: 528: 510: 490: 471: 447: 419: 385:article lead 378:episode FA's 375: 369: 357: 346: 310:episode FA's 307: 301: 276: 252: 226: 213: 197: 187: 156: 139: 120: 101: 82: 63: 30: 455:Attribution 212:(critical) 358:television 360:episode. 609:Wronkiew 531:Wronkiew 514:Wronkiew 389:Wronkiew 376:Simpsons 370:Not done 317:Wronkiew 308:Simpsons 302:Not done 227:Not done 199:Wronkiew 157:Not done 34:Wronkiew 256:Thanks! 498:Images 595:orium 565:orium 47:Prose 16:< 613:talk 535:talk 518:talk 511:Done 491:Done 472:Done 448:Done 420:Done 393:talk 347:Done 321:talk 277:Done 253:Done 203:talk 188:Done 168:way. 140:Done 121:Done 102:Done 83:Done 64:Done 38:talk 578:The 548:The 284:MoS 615:) 588:ft 583:Le 558:ft 553:Le 537:) 520:) 395:) 323:) 205:) 163:A 40:) 611:( 533:( 516:( 391:( 319:( 201:( 36:(

Index

Talk:Lisa on Ice
Wronkiew
talk
23:37, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
run-on sentence
Wronkiew
talk
05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
Simpsons episode FA's
Wronkiew
talk
05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
Simpsons episode FA's
article lead
Wronkiew
talk
05:33, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
Newton eat up martha.jpg
Wronkiew
talk
02:46, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
Wronkiew
talk
00:51, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
TheLeft
orium
14:50, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
TheLeft
orium
13:25, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

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