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Talk:Mongol siege of Kaifeng/GA1

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42: 1095: 431:
The American/British distinction holds for sports teams, rock groups, adn corporations, but not for ethnicities or nationalites. Think of it this way: does "The Japanese is very humble" mean "Japanese people are very humble", or "that Japanese guy is very humble"? The answer's the same whether
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There's a lot of the passive voice that I think would read better in the active voice ("Western Xia was subjugated by the Mongols in 1210."; "The Mongols returned the next year and Zhongdu, the capital of the Jin, was besieged in 1213"; etc)
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They may have also harbored a grudge against the Jin for assassinating Ambaghai, one of Genghis' predecessors, and for the Jin emperor Weishaowang's rude behavior to Genghis when he was still a Jurchen
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If it's a modern translation, to translator should be attributed, not just inline-cited—either following the quote, or in an endnote ("Translation by Turnbull"). Translations fall under copyright.
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around it, or I can guarantee you somebody someday will "fix" it for you. Or better yet, reword it to avoid the (seeming) problem (e.g. "attempts by the Jin to sue for peace were rebuffed").
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As for image tags, I'm not completely sure, but shouldn't they have a US PD tag as well? The picture of Ogedei seems to have a faulty template. It says "PD-Art template without parameter"...
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The Jurchens are an ethnicity. The Jin is a political dynasty and a collective noun. The usage can be verified through Frederick Mote's book, the one cited in the article:
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He declared his allegiance to Chinggis Khan in 1212, quickly gained control of central and northern Manchuria, and was even allowed the title emperor of the Liao in 1213
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I could only get access (through Google Books) to Holcombe and Turnbull. I noticed no issues there, and there was nothing in the text that made me suspicious.
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for the subject-verb agreement of collective nouns: "Oxford is winning" in American English versus "Oxford are winning" in British English.
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Therefore the Mongol soldiers made cowhide shields to cover their approach trenches and men beneath the walls, and dug as it were niches.
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This is the first sentence of the lede, yet the infobox and the text say that the siege lasted till 1233. Correct the lede accordingly?
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As the Mongols expanded, the Jin suffered territorial losses and invaded the Song in 1217 to remedy their shrinking resources.
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Looking excellent once again! Let me (if I may) just add a few things that I think need slight clarification.
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Because this invasion is not mentioned in your wiki on the Song-Jin wars, could you reference that sentence?
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Not everything below is strictly required; some of it is just my recommendations. Feel free to disagree.
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The Jurchens tried to make up for their territorial losses to the Mongols by invading the Song in 1217.
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Now fixed. He was given the title "emperor" of the Liao Dynasty, but it was only a title. From Franke:
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for the quote. I'll check to see if there are any alternative translations by other historians.--
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Who are Franke and Turnbull? Historians or something? Why should we care about their opinions?
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The demise of the Jin was not brought about solely, or even principally, by such internal factors
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It's a word for word quote of the translation from Turnbull. It can be verified by performing a
1116: 928: 892: 867: 591: 490: 437: 166: 146: 274:: does this mean they avoided the major cities because the cities were heavily fortified? 1202: 1184: 1167: 1141: 1124: 1110: 1081: 1056: 1027: 994: 968: 936: 918: 900: 875: 842: 817: 792: 770: 745: 720: 695: 670: 645: 616: 599: 573: 548: 515: 498: 474: 445: 407: 368: 343: 318: 289: 254: 229: 204: 174: 160: 379: 927:. I'm satisfied that this article exceeds the requirements to become a Good Article. 1176: 680:: is this a special kind of grass, or are you just saying that grass is combustible? 392: 265: 1064:
An illness incapacitated Ögedei and Tolui, and they were forced to step down.
802:: "manning" is one of those words many denizens of the 21st century dislike 979:. The grammar makes it sound as if Genghis was a Jurchen prince: rephrase? 582:, not necessarily quoted. Not that this will hold up passing GA (it's not 556:
that the siege is "of some interest for the history of military technology"
1066:"Forced to step down" seems to mean they abdicated. Use a different verb? 703:
which could burn a soldier to death, even if he survives the initial blast
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I don't understand this sentence. Are you sure the citation is correct?
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Yelü was enthroned a puppet emperor subordinate to the Mongols in 1213.
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It's his own assessment of the battle. Opinions need to be quoted.--
730:: not "attached to"? Was the tube of gunpowder used to attach it? 558:: is there some reason this should be quoted and not paraphrased? 655:: "into", otherwise it could mean "launched while in the air" 586:), I just don't see anything particularly quoteworthy in the 1040:
It's in the article on the Song-Jin wars, but just briefly.
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so the Jin wanted to negotiate for peace, but was rebuffed.
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Meanwhile, the Jin had been inflicted by multiple revolts.
214:: I don't think the comma after "united" serves a purpose 982:
Now fixed. "He" has been replaced with "Weishaowang".--
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The Southern Song was ruled by inconsequential emperors
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Three images, all PD and on Commons, properly tagged.
479:If that's the case, then you'll want to throw a 237:the Jurchen Jin Dynasty controlled Manchuria and 856:Everything is reffed, refs are well-formatted. 800:on the soldiers manning the Jurchen trebuchets 212:The Mongols had united, under his leadership, 755:: either "this point" or "time" is redundant 8: 753:from the Jurchens before this point in time 272:ignoring the fortifications of major cities 30: 951:In the Mongol siege of Kaifeng of 1232... 825:lasted for a total of less than two days 942:Additional comments by another reviewer 678:sparked a fire on the combustible grass 61: 33: 1088: 1063: 1041: 1034: 1012: 1001: 975: 950: 459: 455: 451: 531:execution of loyalists to the emperor 7: 297:the Jin emperor into paying tribute. 262:renounced their vassalage to the Jin 1008:. If so, of what dynasty or state? 604:Now fixed. It's no longer quoted.-- 388:: should "Central" be capitalized? 376:Yelu was enthroned a puppet emperor 1155:Now fixed. The tags are updated.-- 424:American and British English have 24: 728:attached with a tube of gunpowder 683:Now fixed. Removed combustible.-- 827:: "for a total of" is redundant 432:you're American or British (or— 456:The Jin was eliminated in 1234 1: 1203:22:43, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1185:12:48, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1168:13:24, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1142:22:37, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1125:21:30, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1111:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1082:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1057:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 1044:It's from Franke, page 259.-- 1028:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 995:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 969:13:18, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 937:05:28, 22 December 2013 (UTC) 919:22:43, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 901:22:31, 20 December 2013 (UTC) 876:05:27, 22 December 2013 (UTC) 843:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 818:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 793:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 771:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 746:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 721:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 696:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 671:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 646:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 617:22:42, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 600:21:23, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 574:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 549:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 516:00:16, 22 December 2013 (UTC) 499:23:05, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 475:22:33, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 446:21:19, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 408:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 369:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 344:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 319:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 290:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 255:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 230:13:45, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 205:13:55, 21 December 2013 (UTC) 175:21:57, 20 December 2013 (UTC) 161:21:57, 20 December 2013 (UTC) 653:bomb was launched in the air 351:the leadership of Yelu Liuge 18:Talk:Mongol siege of Kaifeng 906:Thank you for the review.-- 1219: 1004:Are you sure it's puppet 1190:Thanks for the review.-- 386:invasion of Central Asia 628:propelled by trebuchets 165:I'll do this review. 578:Opinions need to be 395:is a proper noun.-- 353:: worth a redlink? 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Index

Talk:Mongol siege of Kaifeng
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Khanate General
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