42:
1243:
Outside comment here (stumbling upon this from the WP:FOOTBALL open tasks list). Please change all standalone occurrences of "Linköpings" (i.e. when not writing "Linköpings FC") to "Linköping". The ending s on the city name is the possessive form in
Swedish, and is tied to including the suffix "FC".
1300:
With regard to the international section headers, I meant more of picking one or two of the tournaments or accomplishments as a highlight (for example, "Early years: Euro 2009 semi-final" for the first one, since that was their only major tournament in that section), while keeping it not too long
884:
There are no stats, but the report describes more attacking chances for
Denmark and outplaying the Dutch in general. Goals scored against the run of play. How about this: Despite Denmark having more attacking chances and outplaying the Dutch, goals by Smit and Melis sent them through to the
357:
Zwolle being too far to commute to daily from
Ridderkerk, she rented a room in Zwolle. <<<=== I don't think that's what the source is saying. Even if it was though, it seems normal for players to move to the city where they are playing, and wouldn't usually be worth
404:
Melis scored a crucial goal in a heated match with UmeĂĄ, in which
Brazilian star Marta was shown a red card. The match ended in a 2–2 draw. <<<=== "crucial" makes it sound like she scored the second tying goal; be more specific. Also, "heated" is not encyclopedic
664:
With the score still 1–1 and just 16 minutes left to play, Melis, Ramona
Bachmann and Therese Sjögran were brought on, but to no avail. Nevertheless <<<=== This doesn't seem worth mentioning, as it had no impact on the league outcome and the game itself was not
452:
Despite a notable series early on in the season in which Malmö scored seven goals three games in a row, with Melis scoring a hat-trick in one of them, they finished in fourth place, as Linköpings took the title. <<<=== split this sentence in
383:
in the pursuit of the 2007 title of the 12-teams league. <<<=== keep the "twelve-team league" somewhere (maybe after "finished in fourth place"), but you already said to challenge for the title (and also, they are obviously trying to
648:
A 3–2 away win over defending champions Tyresö was a turning point for the club's season, although with about 20 minutes to go and one player and 2–1 down a win seemed unlikely <<<=== Rephrase. The second clause doesn't fit too
812:
The context isn't set up well. It should say something like she was first called up when the Dutch were in the middle of UEFA Women's Euro 2005 qualifiers, and it should state somewhere that they were in a double round robin
1226:
Thank you very much for taking the time and putting up with my dubious word choice and grammar. I believe I have addressed all your points, but do take a look at the changes I made, especially the one I pointed out above.
200:
She had one-year spells with the
Swedish teams Linköpings and Göteborg. <<<=== short spells? the second one was for more than a year I think? Also, I would put the "also" in this sentence instead of the previous
1027:
In March 2016, the Dutch failed to qualify for the 2016 Olympics. <<<=== You should mention (and link) that there was a qualifying tournament, especially since there wasn't one for the 2012 Olympics.
1208:
Most of the relevant info seems to be in the article, except for a few places where the context could be improved. The main issues are with word choice, but there aren't any major issues. Placing on hold.
734:
Her old club RosengĂĄrd again won the title on the last day of the season in front of season record audience of 4,225 fans. <<<=== The specifics of how they won the title do not seem related to
222:
In a penalty shoot-out against France, she scored, as did enough of her teammates to progress. In the semi-final they were eliminated by
England. <<<=== Rephrase this. The middle is awkward.
380:
She joined teammates <<<=== This sounds like they were already her teammates before, which I don't think is the case? Something like "Among the other players on the team were" better
1178:
I'd suggest adding the year ranges to the club sub-section headers. In particular, that would solve the issue of two of the sections having the same name, which you're not supposed to do.
354:
Her dream was to be able to fully focus on football, but this offer meant she had to find other work as well, which seemed daunting because she was unable to speak German fluently.
599:
Melis again did not see success in the domestic cup as Linköpings lost in an early round 2–1 to
Kristianstad. (not a good transition from the previous sentence about the league.)
833:
The Dutch failed to qualify for Euro 2005; Denmark and Norway advanced. <<<=== You can group this with the rest of the Euro 2005 sentences, even if it is out of order.
617:
Although she then assisted a goal by Jonna
Andersson that put Linköpings ahead, Malmö came from behind to win 5–3 mostly due to a hat-trick by German international Anja Mittag.
614:
She provided an assist to Jonna
Andersson who put Linköpings ahead. But Malmö fought back and, mostly due to a hat-trick by German international Anja Mittag, won 3–5. ===: -->
351:
Her dream was to be able to fully focus on football, but this offer meant she had to find other work as well, which, unable to speak German fluently, seemed daunting. ===: -->
480:
thus securing a place in the 2011–12 UEFA Women's Champions League <<<=== this is because they won the league, not because of how many points they won the league by.
1188:
You mean something like: Early years (Euro 2005 qualification, World Cup 2007 qualification, Euro 2009)? That seems a bit too long. Or do you mean Early years (2005–2009)?
80:
1195:
A common issue noted above is some of the writing does not seem encyclopedic enough. (e.g. "crowned", "at the hands of", "US soil", "dying minutes", "could not refuse")
70:
47:
916:
Then nerves kicked in and the next five players all failed to convert <<<=== I doubt it's fair to say all five players missed because of nerves.
712:
that is a bit too passive I think. How about this: the team benefitted from Melis and Martens linking up for many years at the Netherlands national team
1315:
Overall, it looks like it's in good shape! I made a few small tweaks, feel free to look those over. Other than that, passing! Very well done!
156:
126:
182:
Thanks very much for taking the time to deal with my poor prose. I do think I learn from your comments, so they are very much appreciated!
1254:
877:
the better of the play <<<=== what does this mean: more possession? more shots? more attacking chances? outplayed in general?
504:
Malmö were eliminated Malmö in the quarter-finals by the eventual winners Örebro. (too many sentences in a row starting with "In the")
75:
854:
At the finals <<<=== I had this question in the lead as well: Is the post-qualifying part really referred to as the finals?
122:
52:
596:
A 2–1 defeat at the hands of Kristianstad in an early round meant that Melis again did not see success in the domestic cup ===: -->
1264:
Thanks very much for educating me. I have changed all Linköpings, as well as a few stray others such as Kristianstadts. Thanks!
107:
690:
a 3–1 defeat at the hands of her old club Linköping, which meant she again was knocked out of the domestic cup early. ===: -->
309:
the club's only women's team <<<=== Just checking: With regard to "only", did they have more than one men's team?
99:
326:
highest amateur league of women's football in the Netherlands <<<=== You can also name it as the Hoofdklasse.
593:
She was assigned the jersey number 9 <<<=== state that this was a switch from her jersey number 14 at Malmo.
449:
Despite a notable series <<<=== "span" or "stretch" instead of "series" (which can mean something else)
1320:
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731:
This meant that Rosengård and Örebro qualified for the 2015 Champions League (add ", while Göteborg did not.")
1181:
Relatedly, you could note the key tournaments in the sub-section headers of the international career section.
197:
Maybe the "all-time top goal scorer" should be the second sentence? (Someone else has just made that change.)
1338:
1269:
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1333:
Thanks very much for taking the time and all your suggestions. It is in a much better shape thanks to you!
486:
5–3 victory over Göteborg ("defeat" sounds like too much of the opposite to a "win" later in the sentence)
345:
Melis had an offer to play in the German Frauen-Bundesliga, for Duisburg. She declined the offer. ===: -->
412:
I integrated the 2-2 draw from the next sentence and changed it to first equiliser goal. Is this better?
830:
She appeared in the starting line-up for the first time in her fourth cap, a friendly against England.
434:
Melis shared the league's top scorer spot that season with Marta, with each of them scoring 23 goals.
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It was a simple tap-in when the ball rebounded off the cross-bar from a Sarah Storck shot ===: -->
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892:
she singled out this goal as the most special one of all her goals for the national team ===: -->
684:
Melis was offered a lucrative contract from Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC she could not refuse ===: -->
431:
Melis shared the league's top scorer spot that season with Marta, each scoring 23 goals. ===: -->
742:
I was trying too hard to sprinkle audience numbers in throughout the article. Removed. All done.
207:
Three times she was the Damallsvenskan top scorer (I would assume "crowned" is too informal)
115:
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827:
In her fourth cap she was in the starting line-up, in a friendly against England. ===: -->
658:
this time the champions, Malmö, were already known by the final match of the year ===: -->
437:
legendary Brazilian football star <<<=== both "legendary" and "star" is too much
231:
Melis has been the manager of women's football development at Feyenoord since ???? (see
895:
Melis singled out this goal as the most special of all her goals for the national team
348:
Melis had an offer to play in the German Frauen-Bundesliga for Duisburg, but declined.
693:
a 3–1 defeat to her old club Linköping, thus again exiting the domestic cup early.
516:
It was a simple tap-in goal after a Sarah Storck shot rebounded off the cross-bar.
323:
the drop in level affected their motivation <<<=== "negatively affected"?
194:
If she is currently a football manager, that should be part of the first sentence.
1061:
She has been the manager of women's football development at Feyenoord since ????
687:
Melis was offered and accepted a lucrative contract from Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC
590:
In February 2012, Melis returned to the Damallsvenskan and signed for Linköpings
232:
92:
861:
Informally it is, I think, but I have changed it to the more formal tournament
661:
Malmö had already secured the championship before the final match of the year.
228:
Melis currently is manager women's football development at Feyenoord ===: -->
1244:
An all too common mistake when writing Swedish club names in English. :) –
1058:
She currently is manager women's football development at Feyenoord ===: -->
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and Koster and Sherida Spitse also missed chances at the end of the game
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she scored the opening goal in front of over 2,500 spectators ===: -->
241:
She is the daughter of former Feyenoord player Harry Melis. ===: -->
204:
Three times she was crowned the Damallsvenskan top scorer ===: -->
978:
as did Koster and Sherida Spitse at the end of the game ===: -->
655:
Melis scored the opening goal in front of over 2,500 spectators
377:
champions UmeĂĄ IK <<<=== add "defending" or "reigning"
1006:
kept the Netherlands from scoring before attacking repeatedly.
1003:
kept the Netherlands at bay before attacking in waves ===: -->
969:
the rebound when Martens hit the cross-bar but failed ===: -->
507:
sponsor funds, which is needed to attract new stars. ===: -->
462:
third round of the domestic cup, Svenska Cupen Damer ===: -->
1202:
Thank you for catching those. I think I have fixed them all.
443:
Melis played 20 games in which she scored 10 goals. ===: -->
269:
Girls playing football was still unusual (add "at the time")
225:
I feel like the Euro 2009 description is burying the lead
1153:
Every line should have a colon (:) before the year list.
907:
almost scored with a curling drive, but missed the net.
134:
103:
966:
A draw and a loss in their two matches against England
933:
was nearly on the receiving end of a long through ball
501:
In the quarter-finals Örebro eliminated Malmö ===: -->
1124:
could be mentioned, as he has a Knowledge (XXG) page.
904:
almost found the target with a curling drive ===: -->
465:
third round of Svenska Cupen Damer, the domestic cup.
468:
was crowned Damallsvenskan 2010 top scorer. ===: -->
549:
scheduled for March 2012 after Melis left the team.
272:
her colleagues at the senior national team ===: -->
760:at the hands of Melis's old club Sky Blue ===: -->
244:Her father is former Feyenoord player Harry Melis.
1015:A defeat would have sent the Dutch home. ===: -->
365:Commute point removed. Other points done as well.
165:I'll resort to reviewing this Feyenoord player.
1098:teammate at both the national team and ===: -->
772:five goals in five consecutive matches ===: -->
306:Add at least one date and age to this section.
1000:Identify Norway as the eventual group winners
719:held up the ball for an extra second ===: -->
238:Relatedly, is that above sentence up-to-date?
8:
1095:and the ability to set up goals with assists
963:A draw and a defeat against England ===: -->
525:Kristianstads (I think? Is this on purpose?)
901:In extra time Melis almost (I think Melis?)
930:nearly got on a long through ball ===: -->
874:2–1 loss (It's not clear who was defeated)
722:would hold up the ball for an extra second
510:sponsor funds needed to attract new stars.
30:
842:, securing the Dutch to progress ===: -->
275:her teammates on the senior national team
972:a rebound when Martens hit the cross-bar
446:Melis played 20 games, scoring 10 goals.
868:You never stated that they beat Ukraine
568:scrambling to find a new club. ===: -->
471:was the 2010 Damallsvenskan top scorer.
61:
33:
1101:her teammate both on the national team
910:but her header just went wide ===: -->
784:she announced she had decided ===: -->
702:having linked up for years at ===: -->
534:, in Italy against Tavagnacco ===: -->
7:
1089:observed that his daughter would run
913:with a header but it went just wide.
540:This meant Malmö progressed ===: -->
495:a crucial goal in a 2–1 win ===: -->
1036:quit professional football ===: -->
1018:The Dutch needed a draw to advance.
845:to ensure that the Dutch progressed
725:lost sight of second place ===: -->
672:I removed the whole match. All done
419:a fourth consecutive title ===: -->
1086:observed his daughter run ===: -->
1039:retired from professional football
1021:dying minutes of the game ===: -->
705:having been linked up for years on
24:
975:cross-bar <<<=== no dash
898:In extra time she almost ===: -->
806:After having represented ===: -->
546:scheduled for March 2012 ===: -->
519:cross-bar <<<=== no dash
213:first major tournament (I think?)
578:Done. Taking a little break now.
216:At the final group game ===: -->
851:both legs of their play-off tie
820:I tried something. Have a look.
787:Melis announced she had decided
483:5–3 defeat of Göteborg ===: -->
1278:Thanks for pointing that out,
1009:hosts Canada lead 1–0 ===: -->
885:quarter-finals with a 2–1 win.
477:ahead of the second-place team
422:their fourth consecutive title
1:
1067:2021–2022 season (wrong dash)
848:both legs of the tie ===: -->
608:equally unsuccessful ===: -->
543:As a result, Malmö progressed
528:where Malmö won both ===: -->
498:the opening goal in a 2–1 win
398:UmeĂĄ won the league. ===: -->
316:Yes, at least 10 men's teams.
1156:all-time goalscorer ===: -->
763:to Melis's old club Sky Blue
728:lost second place to Ă–rebro.
474:ahead of number two ===: -->
696:twice on an assist ===: -->
537:in Italy against Tavagnacco
401:UmeĂĄ repeated as champions.
391:OK, done, but please check.
210:first major finals ===: -->
1361:
1237:16:21, 29 April 2021 (UTC)
1219:08:35, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
936:Jill Scott's shot ===: -->
781:and was the leading scorer
778:the leading scorer ==: -->
775:five goals in five matches
602:her old teammates ===: -->
425:behind the winner ===: -->
175:03:08, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
161:03:08, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
1064:2021—2022 season ===: -->
1024:last minutes of the game
1012:the hosts Canada led 1–0
836:all their eight ===: -->
489:old rivals UmeĂĄ ===: -->
284:When growing up ===: -->
1343:11:30, 6 May 2021 (UTC)
1325:07:35, 6 May 2021 (UTC)
1311:07:35, 6 May 2021 (UTC)
1292:06:47, 6 May 2021 (UTC)
1274:16:46, 5 May 2021 (UTC)
1260:21:12, 4 May 2021 (UTC)
1159:all-time top goalscorer
960:had to win a group with
626:now with Marta ===: -->
219:In the final group game
571:in need of a new club.
531:whereas Malmö won both
1030:won 136 caps ===: -->
522:Kristianstad ===: -->
1092:and assists ===: -->
957:had to best ===: -->
769:in the United States
699:two goals on assists
492:previous rivals UmeĂĄ
938:a Jill Scott header
871:2–1 defeat ===: -->
766:on US soil ===: -->
278:boys teams ===: -->
263:girls team ===: -->
839:all of their eight
809:Having represented
629:who acquired Marta
620:Linköping ===: -->
456:Linköping ===: -->
1258:
611:also unsuccessful
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43:Copyvio detector
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117:Article talk
116:
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93:
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81:Instructions
428:behind UmeĂĄ
358:mentioning.
281:boys' teams
266:girls' team
233:MOS:RELTIME
104:visual edit
1138:Statistics
665:important.
623:Linköpings
585:Linköpings
459:Linköpings
439:WP:PUFFERY
258:Early life
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
1115:Personal
945:All done
794:All done
757:a hoodie
679:Göteborg
636:All done
563:Sky Blue
556:All done
340:Be Quick
333:All done
294:All done
251:All done
157:contribs
76:Criteria
1246:Elisson
1173:Overall
1148:Honours
1053:Manager
405:enough.
384:win...)
127:history
108:history
94:Article
952:Middle
813:group.
735:Melis.
1158:: -->
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1143:Okay.
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136:Watch
16:<
1339:talk
1321:talk
1307:talk
1288:talk
1270:talk
1233:talk
1215:talk
1166:Done
1131:Done
1108:Done
1074:Done
1046:Done
995:Late
988:Done
301:RVVH
201:one.
189:Lead
171:talk
151:talk
123:edit
100:edit
453:two
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1282:!
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1253:•
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