Knowledge (XXG)

Talk:Peter Hammersley/GA1

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587:(as opposed to a folly) is an architectural construction usually built for aesthetic purposes and often found in the grounds of mansions. The humour is then in the comparison with a toilet of a submarine, and "Spam's Folly" is a light-hearted (but well-intentioned) honour. I've linked "Folly" to make this connection, does that convey the intended meaning clearly enough? 42: 804:
Sorry Eddie, these were my errors. I've fixed the ref (it was the following page). I think it best to use the date the promotion was actually granted (gazetted) as the seniority was granted as a mark of recognition after the fact: he wouldn't have had the uniform and privileges of the new rank from
264:" Hammersley won a scholarship to Britannia Royal Naval College to train as a deck officer but his eyesight was too poor so he chose to become an engineer instead, studying at the Royal Naval Engineering College." That's quite a mouthful- could be split up or rewritten to flow a bit better? 531:
Although it can also mean the debutante ceremonies that began with Queen Victoria, "presented" is regularly used to describe when a person is introduced to the monarch. The cited 1988 newspaper article uses the expression as do some Knowledge (XXG) articles:
348:". Poor eyesight prevented him from taking up this opportunity but he was able to switch to the" a little convoluted, might better be expressed as "he was unable to attend the college due to poor eyesight, but was able to switch" 805:
that time. The seniority counted for pay rises, pensions and position in the line of command. I've added notes to the article giving seniority dates. I've deleted the "three civilians" bit, I don't think it adds anything -
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Apologies for the number of edits made since nomination; in looking for additional sources to ensure notability I've found new information that has necessitated some revision of the article.
447:(the world's first nuclear submarine, USS Nautilus, demonstrated this capability with a well publicised cruise beneath the ice of the North Pole in 1958)" relevance to the article? 80: 47: 70: 367:"in submarines from 1954 when he joined the Submarine Service" perhaps "beginning in 1954 when he joined the Submarine Service" but as it stands is fine as well 676:
Many thanks for your helpful and constructive comments. Just a few issues remaining (underlined) which I will sort out tomorrow (Australian time). Cheers,
831:... Anyways, this article is comprehensive, well written, reasonably illustrated, referenced, and otherwise meets the GA criteria. I'm happy to promote. 126: 122: 756:
I've made a few additional minor edits that can been seen in the article edit history. Please let me know if anything needs attention. Thanks.
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That's it for a first pass from me, nice work on this one. Most comments are minor issues, feel free to discuss any further.
565: 537: 244: 172: 156: 467:"Rickover was disinterested"? In my view, he either was or wasn't disinterested, there's no apparently about it 580:" later known as "Spam's Folly" in his honour." so it was considered a folly? How, then would it be an honour? 306:"He would have been nicknamed "Ham" from his surname" seems a little odd that the article says what somebody 583:
There's an element of humour that is hard to convey in the article without going into irrelevant detail. A
524:" Hammersley was presented to the Queen" I'm unfamiliar with what 'presented' might refer to other than a 824: 115: 17: 860:, thanks again for a very helpful and constructive review, a pleasure working with you. Thanks also to 150: 864:
for an excellent article that only needed minimal polishing to bring to GA standard. Cheers. :)
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I'm sure it was linked in an earlier edit, not sure why it isn't now, but re-linked – thanks.
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I've addressed the remaining items (and removed the underlining), please review. Thanks.
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It would be helpful if you could use 'secondment' in the article as well as in the lede
525: 387: 857: 832: 783: 751: 658: 559: 533: 238: 213: 166: 146: 637:" until he became too frail, prayed on his knees every night" necessary to include? 879: 868: 861: 820: 806: 770: 760: 732: 728: 715: 706: 694: 680: 644: 625: 605: 591: 548: 512: 493: 474: 454: 435: 416: 396: 374: 355: 336: 317: 294: 271: 234: 230: 220: 202: 188: 329:"Hammersley won a scholarship to Britannia Royal Naval College" is there a year? 887: 873: 844: 814: 795: 765: 740: 720: 699: 685: 670: 649: 630: 610: 596: 571: 553: 517: 498: 479: 459: 440: 421: 401: 379: 360: 341: 322: 299: 276: 250: 225: 207: 193: 178: 160: 284: 505:
All military ranks should be linked on their first mention (or none)
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Added years of study at RNEC (also some years for later events).
408:"During this time, Earl Mountbatten, as First Sea Lord " -: --> 731:, excellent work. I have no issues with any of your edits - 184:
Great, thanks Eddie891. I look forward to seeing your review.
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Hi, would you also review all my edits above please? Thanks.
782:#1 doesn't seem to cite "and three civilians were killed" 823:, Seems like a gap in our coverage on Knowledge (XXG) is 618:"and three civilians" (unless he was a civilian as well) 409:"During this time Earl Mountbatten, as First Sea Lord,"? 237:
I'm planning on getting to this tomorrow morning (EST)
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Thanks both, it's been a pleasure to work on this -
450:Deleted and citations consolidated at end of para. 601:Revised the sentence further, what do you think? 779:I don't see ref #5 mentioning Hammersley at all 466:"Rickover was apparently disinterested" -: --> 212:OK, I think we're good to go whenever you are 544:. I would prefer to keep the current wording. 8: 776:ref #6 says he was made a Lt. on 1 July 1950 30: 61: 33: 7: 428:Nuclear submarines could use a link 617:"and three other civilians " -: --> 24: 773:, just a few referencing things: 829:United States military seniority 528:, which I don't think you mean 538:The Good Life (1975 TV series) 1: 906: 888:13:42, 16 May 2020 (UTC) 874:13:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC) 845:12:57, 16 May 2020 (UTC) 815:18:31, 15 May 2020 (UTC) 796:14:30, 15 May 2020 (UTC) 766:06:52, 15 May 2020 (UTC) 741:05:30, 15 May 2020 (UTC) 721:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 700:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 686:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 671:13:55, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 650:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 631:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 611:00:24, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 597:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 572:16:55, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 554:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 518:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 499:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 480:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 460:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 441:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 422:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 402:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 380:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 361:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 342:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 323:00:17, 14 May 2020 (UTC) 300:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 277:15:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC) 251:23:41, 12 May 2020 (UTC) 226:13:23, 12 May 2020 (UTC) 208:05:39, 12 May 2020 (UTC) 194:15:28, 11 May 2020 (UTC) 179:13:50, 11 May 2020 (UTC) 161:13:50, 11 May 2020 (UTC) 370:Revised and simplified. 310:have been nicknamed? 18:Talk:Peter Hammersley 827:given that there's 825:Military seniority 165:I'll take this on 843: 794: 669: 570: 542:Alexander Fleming 249: 177: 89: 88: 897: 872: 835: 786: 764: 755: 719: 710: 698: 684: 661: 648: 629: 609: 595: 562: 558:Fine as is then 552: 516: 497: 478: 458: 439: 420: 400: 378: 359: 340: 321: 298: 275: 241: 224: 206: 192: 169: 139: 130: 111: 43:Copyvio detector 31: 905: 904: 900: 899: 898: 896: 895: 894: 865: 841: 792: 757: 749: 712: 704: 691: 677: 667: 641: 622: 602: 588: 568: 545: 509: 490: 471: 451: 432: 413: 393: 371: 352: 333: 314: 291: 268: 261: 247: 217: 199: 185: 175: 120: 97: 91: 85: 57: 29: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 903: 901: 893: 892: 891: 890: 855: 854: 853: 852: 851: 850: 849: 848: 847: 837: 799: 798: 788: 780: 777: 747: 746: 745: 744: 743: 702: 688: 663: 655: 654: 653: 652: 635: 634: 633: 615: 614: 613: 599: 578: 577: 576: 575: 574: 564: 526:Debutante ball 522: 521: 520: 503: 502: 501: 484: 483: 482: 464: 463: 462: 445: 444: 443: 426: 425: 424: 406: 405: 404: 388:First Sea Lord 384: 383: 382: 365: 364: 363: 346: 345: 344: 327: 326: 325: 304: 303: 302: 281: 280: 279: 260: 257: 256: 255: 254: 253: 243: 210: 196: 171: 140: 87: 86: 84: 83: 78: 73: 67: 64: 63: 59: 58: 56: 55: 53:External links 50: 45: 39: 36: 35: 28: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 902: 889: 885: 881: 877: 876: 875: 871: 870: 863: 859: 856: 846: 842: 840: 834: 830: 826: 822: 818: 817: 816: 812: 808: 803: 802: 801: 800: 797: 793: 791: 785: 781: 778: 775: 774: 772: 769: 768: 767: 763: 762: 753: 748: 742: 738: 734: 730: 726: 725: 724: 723: 722: 718: 717: 708: 703: 701: 697: 696: 689: 687: 683: 682: 675: 674: 673: 672: 668: 666: 660: 651: 647: 646: 639: 638: 636: 632: 628: 627: 620: 619: 616: 612: 608: 607: 600: 598: 594: 593: 586: 582: 581: 579: 573: 569: 567: 561: 557: 556: 555: 551: 550: 543: 539: 535: 534:Thomas Blanke 530: 529: 527: 523: 519: 515: 514: 507: 506: 504: 500: 496: 495: 488: 487: 485: 481: 477: 476: 469: 468: 465: 461: 457: 456: 449: 448: 446: 442: 438: 437: 430: 429: 427: 423: 419: 418: 411: 410: 407: 403: 399: 398: 391: 390: 389: 385: 381: 377: 376: 369: 368: 366: 362: 358: 357: 350: 349: 347: 343: 339: 338: 331: 330: 328: 324: 320: 319: 312: 311: 309: 305: 301: 297: 296: 289: 288: 286: 282: 278: 274: 273: 266: 265: 263: 262: 258: 252: 248: 246: 240: 236: 232: 229: 228: 227: 223: 222: 215: 211: 209: 205: 204: 197: 195: 191: 190: 183: 182: 181: 180: 176: 174: 168: 163: 162: 158: 155: 152: 148: 145: 141: 138: 137: 133: 128: 124: 119: 118: 114: 109: 105: 101: 96: 95: 82: 79: 77: 74: 72: 69: 68: 66: 65: 60: 54: 51: 49: 46: 44: 41: 40: 38: 37: 32: 26: 19: 867: 836: 787: 759: 714: 693: 679: 662: 656: 643: 624: 604: 590: 563: 547: 511: 492: 473: 453: 434: 415: 395: 373: 354: 335: 316: 307: 293: 270: 242: 219: 201: 187: 170: 164: 153: 143: 142: 135: 131: 117:Article talk 116: 112: 93: 90: 81:Instructions 104:visual edit 285:secondment 48:Authorship 34:GA toolbox 287:in lede? 216:. Thanks! 144:Reviewer: 71:Templates 62:Reviewing 27:GA Review 858:Eddie891 833:Eddie891 784:Eddie891 752:Eddie891 659:Eddie891 640:Deleted. 621:Revised. 560:Eddie891 508:Revised. 489:Revised. 470:Revised. 412:Revised. 351:Revised. 313:Revised. 267:Revised. 259:Comments 239:Eddie891 214:Eddie891 167:Eddie891 157:contribs 147:Eddie891 76:Criteria 880:Dumelow 869:RLO1729 862:Dumelow 821:Dumelow 819:Thanks 807:Dumelow 771:RLO1729 761:RLO1729 733:Dumelow 729:RLO1729 716:RLO1729 707:Dumelow 695:RLO1729 681:RLO1729 645:RLO1729 626:RLO1729 606:RLO1729 592:RLO1729 549:RLO1729 513:RLO1729 494:RLO1729 475:RLO1729 455:RLO1729 436:RLO1729 431:Linked. 417:RLO1729 397:RLO1729 375:RLO1729 356:RLO1729 337:RLO1729 318:RLO1729 295:RLO1729 290:Linked. 272:RLO1729 235:Dumelow 231:RLO1729 221:RLO1729 203:RLO1729 189:RLO1729 127:history 108:history 94:Article 585:Folly 386:link 308:would 283:link 136:Watch 16:< 884:talk 839:Work 811:talk 790:Work 737:talk 665:Work 566:Work 245:Work 233:and 173:Work 151:talk 123:edit 100:edit 727:Hi 886:) 866:~ 813:) 758:~ 739:) 713:~ 692:~ 678:~ 642:~ 623:~ 603:~ 589:~ 546:~ 540:, 536:, 510:~ 491:~ 472:~ 452:~ 433:~ 414:~ 394:~ 372:~ 353:~ 334:~ 315:~ 292:~ 269:~ 218:~ 200:~ 186:~ 159:) 125:| 106:| 102:| 882:( 809:( 754:: 750:@ 735:( 709:: 705:@ 154:· 149:( 132:· 129:) 121:( 113:· 110:) 98:(

Index

Talk:Peter Hammersley
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Eddie891
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13:50, 11 May 2020 (UTC)
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13:50, 11 May 2020 (UTC)
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Eddie891
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13:23, 12 May 2020 (UTC)
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