461:– The citation does in fact say so when you have the patience to get there and read up. The web site is behind a paywall. My local library does not subscribe. So I had to find the corresponding book., where I then found out that the articles is 6 pages long. I f you had cited the book and given a page number, I could have found it much faster. So possibly replacing the online version by the book in Internet Archive would be an improvement.
286:- Should not in general each infobox image have an "alt" parameter (not required by the GACR)? In this case I would propose something like: "A painted 3/4-length portrait of William O'Brien, 2nd Earl of Inchiquin, showing a clean-shaven man with long brown curly hair or such a wig, wearing a lace jabot and clad in armour, holding a marshal's staff, standing in front of some drapery opening on a view of a landscape".
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of your way. If you want to ,go on and concerning my remarks above (ignoring those marked "optional"), please react at least to the items marked (A) to (H) in some way by making a corresponding change in the article and replying "Done" or by rejecting them by telling me so, and possibly shortly explaining why, so that I do not make the same mistake again. With best regards,
301:- Should not in general each infobox image have an "caption" parameter (not required by the GACR)? Or at least the information that the portrait is in the collection of the National Army Museum, was painted about 1680, the painter is unknownn. Perhaps add this to the description in Wikimedia Commons.
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I started this review on 9 August 2022 and hoped for a reactions from you. Perhaps I do not understand very well how this game is played. I will now put this review on hold. Perhaps that is what you are waiting for or do you reject me as a reviewer? If so, please tell me what I should do to get out
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Remark. Dear
Dabberoni15, please be not offended by some very basic advice. I know you are not a beginner and have brought 12 articles to GA level, whereas I have only 2. I do not imply that my leads are better than yours, only that I think that you have the skills and experience to do better. The
182:. We both seem to have an interest in Irish aristocratic biographies of the 17th century. I am a bit concerned that they might differ too much in style. As before, I will start with the preliminaries and then go through the article’s sections, sometimes returning to previous sections when needed.
470:– GACR Rule 1a, "understanding"; I struggle to understand what the situation was and why it is relevant. It seems passports were needed for travelling between England and Ireland (no common area yet). True? So how could he travel without passport and what should have been the normal consequence?
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and would have treated his two major offices in the lead, then in corresponding sections in the main text, and finally in the succession boxes. I find that infoboxes are often too long. They then make it impossible to illustrate the first couple of sections because the text would be sandwiched
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Lead length – As you pointed out MOS:LEADLENGTH is all recommendations and cannot be enforced under GACR. However, I still wanted to comment that the lead in the article is lengthy and not all statements feel essential. For example seldom do leads include a prose description of the subject's
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The lead should be the most carefully written part of the text. It should always be concise as everything in the lead should be explained in more detail in the main text. One might go as far as saying that typically each sentence of the lead should expand into at least one paragraph and each
505:– GACR Rule 2b, "inline citations"; This criterion is usually interpreted to mean that all quotation appearing in the text need to be supported by citations. Accordingly there is a citation needed at the end of the quote. admittedly the wording of Rule 2b is a bit confusing.
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paragraph of the lead into at least one section in the main text. The lead should be carefully balanced against the main text. A change in the one will usually necessitate a corresponding change in the other to maintain this delicate balance.
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Ah no sorry, I think you have the wrong idea! I've been busy for the past few weeks, and have been distracted with other articles and some personal issues. I'll get to your review eventually, but please give me a bit of patience! Thanks,
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523:– GACR Rule 2b, "understanding"; I had to look up to understand that this was the official name of the French colony that became Haiti. It might be helpful to mention the modern name in addition to the contemporary one.
364:– GACR Rule 1a "grammar"; I would omit the article and use capitalise considering Governor of Tangier and Governor of Jamaica as post titles: served as "Governor of Tangier" ... as "Governor of Jamaica" as discussed at
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I find your lead is not always up to that level of conciseness and polish. I do not understand why you insist on always having 4 paragraphs in the lead, irrespective of the length of the main text.
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PC – There is a need to distinguish between the
English and the Irish PC (not required by GACR, of course). Looking at articles I find that the Irish PC is usually indicated as <small: -->
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I feel that the to marriages, as their dates are known, should be moved to their correct places in the chronological order. However this is not required by GACR.
236:– You give two spouses separated by an HTML BR, but there is WP:NOBR, which you might want to take into consideration (not obligatory for GA). I would have used:
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you gave name as "William James", so I expected "William O'Brien" for this time, but you give "The Earl of
Inchiquin". Would you please care to comment?
491:, which was complete in 1652. I suppose father and son went into French exile. Should this not be said and a date given? 1659 is a bit far from 1652.
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389:– GACR Rule 1a "syntax"; I think there is something wrong with the construction of this sentence, the "growing up" at thew end is most surprising.
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257:- The parameters of the Military services section of the infobox do not cope well with his two differenct alegionaces.
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between the image and the infobox. In your case
Tangier cannot be shown in an image near to the correspondingt text.
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is easter-eggish and unhelpful as it refers to the present situation of
Jamaica as an independent state.
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Dear
Dabberoni15, I think I have waited long enough. I will fail this GA nomination now. Best regards,
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William O'Brien was born c. 1640 at the town of
Doneraile in County Cork, Ireland.{{sfn|Little|2004}}
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https://forum.thefreedictionary.com/postst156702_as---an-article-or-as---no-articles.aspx
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Born c. 1640 in
Doneraile, County Cork to the 1st Earl of Inchiquin ...
479:– GACR Rule 1a, "understanding"; the "conflict", I assume, was the
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basics do not lose anything in restating. Here goes in my words:
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officeholder – Just a comment. I would have preferred
Infobox
437:—Please forgive my criticisms. With thanks and best regards,
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O'Brien was frequently at odds with the
Jamaican assembly ...
178:”. We have met before in these same roles at the review of
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O'Brien is best known for his long career in the ...
396:... before being released and returning to England.
243:| '''1.''' Margaret Boyle | '''2.''' ] }}
477:After the conflict ended in a Royalist defeat ...
368:. However, the other option is surely not wrong.
18:Talk:William O'Brien, 2nd Earl of Inchiquin
407:– "fleeing to London" might be more expressive.
503:... "displayed little military capability" ...
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174:. I propose to review your GA nomination “
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510:Governship of Jamaica and death
489:Cromwellian conquest of Ireland
261:—With thanks and best regards,
180:Sir William James, 1st Baronet
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418:House of Assembly of Jamaica
405:... before moving to London.
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271:12:44, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
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