Knowledge (XXG)

Playing the victim

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Victims' talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers
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considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'", and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been
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Selective portrayal of different groups or individuals as victims is used by the media to appeal to the sympathy of and mobilize both the political left and right. Groups or individuals are often selected on the basis of class, race, ethnicity, gender, age and/or sexuality.
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quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims' miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated – and walk away.
256:, where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes, being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear, affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening 247:
While failing to produce any affirmative values, the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood, as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanović, seeing it in the
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and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.
76:. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance. 1219: 163:
While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar
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Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain
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Sally R. Munt (2016): Argumentum ad misericordiam: the cultural politics of victim media, Feminist Media Studies, DOI: 10.1080/14680777.2016.1259176
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Hasanović J. (2021). Mirroring Europeanization: Balkanization and Auto-Colonial Narrative in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Berlin: De Gruyter, pp 93
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away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim).
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Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers; The People Skills You Need to Succeed (2012) p. 60 and p. 43
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Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.
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Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries (2014). Are you a victim of the victim syndrome? Organizational Dynamics 43, pp 130-137
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can create a permanent sense of victimisation – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.
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that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
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identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".
52:) is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify 2240: 2155: 2085: 1980: 1895: 1650: 1178: 888: 601: 382: 281:, as a potential weapon of all professionals. To define victim-players as dishonest may be an 65: 2255: 2210: 2070: 2005: 1990: 1757: 1732: 1643: 1638: 1117: 1072: 953: 848: 648: 257: 2145: 1825: 1742: 1019: 833: 823: 777: 720: 708: 293: 61: 2276: 2135: 2045: 2030: 1975: 1900: 1830: 1815: 1805: 1795: 1722: 1626: 1552: 1523: 948: 918: 838: 808: 581: 88: 2270: 2080: 2075: 1905: 1611: 1528: 1395: 1336: 1148: 1087: 1082: 1024: 843: 663: 643: 2250: 2220: 2180: 2065: 1835: 1767: 1747: 1737: 1727: 1697: 1503: 1294: 1153: 1133: 1107: 978: 908: 878: 798: 770: 402: 2245: 2195: 2110: 2100: 2055: 2010: 1910: 1885: 1707: 1682: 1672: 1655: 1606: 1533: 1508: 1004: 868: 853: 506: 434: 323: 318: 282: 120:
It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
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Bailey-Rug C (2016) It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish
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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
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Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in
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from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or
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known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the
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distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in
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A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character
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The language of "victim playing" has entered modern
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There might be a discussion about this on 460:Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers 1944: 1930: 1922: 1567: 1553: 1545: 1052: 616: 602: 594: 415:https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110684216-004 235:Learn how and when to remove this message 27:Fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood 482:Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy 351: 322:internalised, perhaps in the form of a 1811:Complex post-traumatic stress disorder 1199:International Stand Up to Bullying Day 1040:Society Against Violence in Education 332:has explored the way possession by a 84:Victim playing by abusers is either: 7: 804:Bullying and emotional intelligence 339:To break the hold of the negative 25: 1474:Machiavellianism in the workplace 497:(Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2 585:interview with Charles Sykes on 192: 1427:Kauhajoki School of Hospitality 564:(London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30 1: 1592:Adverse childhood experiences 1469:List of LGBT-related suicides 1370:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold 684:Parental bullying of children 2216:Rally 'round the flag effect 2091:Fear, uncertainty, and doubt 1514:Social dominance orientation 1499:Psychopathy in the workplace 1479:Narcissism in the workplace 70:diffusion of responsibility 2343: 165:Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries 29: 1959: 1801:Abusive power and control 1194:International Day of Pink 1189:Anti-bullying legislation 289:can underlie the tactic. 106:abusive power and control 32:Playing the Victim (film) 1876:Psychological projection 1738:Referee and umpire abuse 1519:Suicide among LGBT youth 533:Narcissism: A New Theory 377:Simon, George K (1996). 2287:Harassment and bullying 2021:Cartographic propaganda 814:Character assassination 330:Object relations theory 2206:Propaganda of the deed 2176:New generation warfare 2126:Historical negationism 1964:Accusation in a mirror 1204:Think Before You Speak 1098:James O'Higgins Norman 1030:It Gets Better Project 741:Information technology 558:Polly Young-Eisendrath 462:(2007) p. 60 and p. 43 447:Corporate Confidential 305:Transactional analysis 174: 129:transactional analysis 2317:Propaganda techniques 2282:Anti-social behaviour 2201:Psychological warfare 2166:Monumental propaganda 2116:Glittering generality 2096:Firehose of falsehood 1953:Propaganda techniques 1846:Just-world hypothesis 1597:Anti-social behaviour 1489:Personality disorders 1464:Just-world hypothesis 704:Relational aggression 513:(Penguin 1969) p. 108 445:Susan A. DePhillips, 300:Underlying psychology 252:context as a form of 2297:Diversionary tactics 2041:Demonizing the enemy 1881:Psychological trauma 1229:William Arthur Gibbs 1113:Christina Salmivalli 1063:Anna Costanza Baldry 1010:Bystander Revolution 995:Act Against Bullying 974:Workplace incivility 899:Moving the goalposts 726:Workplace harassment 654:Displaced aggression 535:(London 1993) p. 116 484:(London 1997) p. 217 458:Anthony C. Mersino, 381:. A.J. Christopher. 205:confusing or unclear 184:In political context 133:cognitive dissonance 127:, to themselves, in 2322:Psychological abuse 2231:Shooting and crying 2061:Emotive conjugation 2036:Cult of personality 1986:Atrocity propaganda 1791:Abusive supervision 1718:Psychological abuse 1693:Institutional abuse 1484:Personal boundaries 1459:Emotional blackmail 1139:Louise Burfitt-Dons 1078:David P. Farrington 924:Psychological abuse 649:Disability bullying 639:Abusive supervision 589:, November 29, 1992 548:(London 2000) p. 34 531:Neville Symington, 480:Petruska Clarkson, 213:clarify the section 178:MĂĽnchausen syndrome 74:professional victim 2191:Oversimplification 2171:Moralistic fallacy 1871:Playing the victim 1763:Surveillance abuse 1713:Professional abuse 1634:Cruelty to animals 1494:Playing the victim 1422:Matti Juhani Saari 1414:Jokela High School 1409:Pekka-Eric Auvinen 1253:Nicola Ann Raphael 1184:Anti-Bullying Week 959:Social undermining 731:Workplace bullying 689:Peer victimization 50:self-victimization 38:Playing the victim 2264: 2263: 2156:Managing the news 1981:Appeal to emotion 1919: 1918: 1896:Traumatic bonding 1542: 1541: 1247:Dawn-Marie Wesley 1179:Anti-Bullying Day 1167: 1166: 889:Kiss up kick down 674:Military bullying 544:Michael Parsons, 495:Games People Play 388:978-0-9651696-0-8 292:In the hustle of 273:In corporate life 245: 244: 237: 66:attention seeking 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522:Laing, p. 145 519: 516: 512: 508: 503: 500: 496: 490: 487: 483: 477: 474: 468: 465: 461: 455: 452: 448: 442: 439: 436: 431: 428: 422: 419: 416: 410: 407: 404: 398: 395: 390: 384: 380: 373: 370: 364: 361: 355: 352: 346: 344: 342: 337: 335: 331: 327: 325: 320: 316: 314: 310: 306: 299: 297: 295: 290: 288: 284: 280: 272: 270: 263: 261: 259: 255: 251: 239: 236: 228: 225:December 2023 218: 217:the talk page 214: 208: 206: 201:This section 199: 190: 189: 183: 181: 179: 173: 168: 167:writes that: 166: 161: 158: 154: 150: 142: 137: 134: 130: 126: 125:Justification 123: 122: 121: 115: 111: 107: 103: 100: 97: 94: 90: 87: 86: 85: 79: 77: 75: 71: 67: 63: 59: 55: 51: 47: 43: 39: 33: 19: 2307:Mind control 2251:Whataboutism 2221:Scapegoating 2181:Obscurantism 2161:Minimisation 2066:Exaggeration 1968: 1870: 1861:Minimisation 1856:Manipulation 1836:Exaggeration 1772: 1768:Verbal abuse 1748:Sexual abuse 1728:Social abuse 1698:Intimidation 1504:Scapegoating 1493: 1295:Jamie Hubley 1241:Hamed Nastoh 1154:Liam Hackett 1134:Andrea Adams 1108:Debra Pepler 979:Verbal abuse 909:Name calling 879:Intimidation 839:Discrediting 799:Blacklisting 771:Toxic leader 586: 582: 561: 553: 545: 540: 532: 527: 518: 510: 502: 494: 493:Eric Berne, 489: 481: 476: 467: 459: 454: 449:(2005) p. 65 446: 441: 430: 421: 409: 397: 378: 372: 363: 354: 338: 328: 317: 303: 291: 276: 267: 246: 231: 222: 211:Please help 202: 175: 170: 162: 155:or to evoke 146: 119: 83: 73: 49: 45: 41: 37: 36: 2327:Victimology 2246:Weasel word 2196:Plain folks 2111:Gish gallop 2101:Flag-waving 2056:Doublespeak 2051:Dog whistle 2011:Blood libel 1911:Victimology 1886:Psychopathy 1708:Persecution 1683:Humiliation 1673:Gaslighting 1656:Elder abuse 1607:Child abuse 1534:Victimology 1509:Self-esteem 1363:(incidents) 1313:Amanda Todd 1307:Audrie Pott 1265:Megan Meier 1068:Wendy Craig 1005:Bullying UK 869:Humiliation 854:Gaslighting 507:R. D. Laing 324:double bind 319:R. D. Laing 260:even more. 46:victim card 2271:Categories 2121:Half-truth 2026:Censorship 1970:Ad hominem 1866:Narcissism 1688:Incivility 1678:Harassment 1440:Isla Vista 1383:Jeff Weise 1343:Conrad Roy 1319:Jadin Bell 1103:Dan Olweus 1093:Gary Namie 894:Mind games 874:Incivility 864:Harassment 829:Defamation 347:References 334:false self 313:Eric Berne 283:empowering 207:to readers 157:compassion 60:others, a 58:manipulate 2292:Deception 2131:Ideograph 2086:Fake news 1841:Isolation 1661:Financial 1375:Columbine 1144:Tim Field 1127:Activists 1056:Academics 1000:Ban Bossy 939:Screaming 884:Isolation 583:Booknotes 309:bad faith 96:attention 93:diverting 80:For abuse 2151:Newspeak 2016:Buzzword 1753:Stalking 1666:Marriage 1627:marriage 1622:military 1602:Bullying 1388:Red Lake 1215:suicides 1213:Notable 1035:Kidscape 969:Taunting 964:Swatting 929:Rudeness 819:Coercion 794:Betrayal 787:Elements 766:Teaching 756:Medicine 736:Academia 625:Bullying 264:In media 250:Yugoslav 153:sympathy 114:enabling 110:sympathy 102:Grooming 2141:Lawfare 2106:Framing 2001:Big lie 1774:more... 1703:Neglect 1612:neglect 1172:Actions 1049:Experts 934:Sarcasm 904:Nagging 761:Nursing 679:Mobbing 341:complex 203:may be 2236:Slogan 1821:Denial 1617:sexual 1442:, 2014 1429:, 2008 1416:, 2007 1403:, 2007 1390:, 2005 1377:, 1999 1351:(2016) 1345:(2014) 1339:(2014) 1333:(2013) 1327:(2013) 1321:(2013) 1315:(2012) 1309:(2012) 1303:(2012) 1297:(2011) 1291:(2011) 1285:(2010) 1279:(2010) 1273:(2008) 1267:(2006) 1261:(2003) 1255:(2001) 1249:(2000) 1243:(2000) 1237:(1997) 1231:(1877) 859:Gossip 669:Hazing 659:Doxing 385:  2277:Abuse 2226:Senbu 1851:Lying 1584:Types 1576:Abuse 944:Shame 632:Types 248:post- 54:abuse 48:, or 2241:Spin 1220:List 699:Rank 383:ISBN 149:pity 104:for 151:or 68:or 2273:: 560:, 509:, 326:. 180:. 91:, 64:, 44:, 1945:e 1938:t 1931:v 1568:e 1561:t 1554:v 1222:) 1218:( 617:e 610:t 603:v 391:. 238:) 232:( 227:) 223:( 219:. 209:. 34:. 20:)

Index

Victim playing
Playing the Victim (film)
abuse
manipulate
coping strategy
attention seeking
diffusion of responsibility
Dehumanization
diverting
attention
Grooming
abusive power and control
sympathy
enabling
Justification
transactional analysis
cognitive dissonance
pity
sympathy
compassion
Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries
MĂĽnchausen syndrome
confusing or unclear
clarify the section
the talk page
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Yugoslav
auto-colonialism
ethnonationalism
corporate life

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