Knowledge (XXG)

:Featured article candidates/German battleship Bismarck/archive2 - Knowledge (XXG)

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353:. Sorry Parsecboy; this article has an awful lot to recommend it, but I can't support its promotion with a section which will be incomprehensible to most readers owing to the lack of context, and is basically wartime propaganda of questionable relevance to modern readers. I'd be open to discussing this further, and examples of recent works on the ship which also make a big deal about the ship being mentioned in these radio broadcasts would be helpful, but at best this warrants mentions in the body of the article rather than verbatim transcripts, and even then context is required. I also don't think that the short paragraph in 'Media portrayals of sinking' warrants its own section. 240:"A suggestion to sever the port rudder with explosives was dismissed by Lütjens, who stated "We cannot endanger the ship with measures of that kind." He felt that the danger of damaging the screws, which would have left the battleship helpless, was too great.": ... was dismissed by Lütjens, as damage to the screws would have left the battleship helpless. - Dank ( 369:
are meant to be very accessible ... Main Page stuff. By the time you've got all the readers to understand the significance of the report, translated all the text, explained the impact that such reports had on the German people ... you've gone past the limits of the attention spans of the readers who have made it this far in the article. Remember
780:"The two German ships rained shells on Prince of Wales" - this sounds like a huge number of shells were fired, yet it's later stated that Bismark only fired 93 shells during the entire engagement. This kind of wording is appropriate for the Battle of Surigao Strait, but seems an over-statement here. 368:
Nick is on the right track, but my support for his position is strictly as a copyeditor and as an observer of Featured Articles ... that is, I'm not saying that information about the Wehrmachtbericht shouldn't be in Knowledge (XXG), it should. But never that amount of detail here; Featured Articles
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This is my second attempt here at FAC for this article. The primary concern over the article the last time around was the prose; the article has since had a copy-edit from one of the GOCE editors, which should have helped address those issues. I look forward to working with reviewers to ensure this
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Those are all good points - I wasn't wedded to the stuff to begin with, so I don't see a problem with removing it. I've removed the direct quotes and added a short summary to the paragraph about media portrayals, and merged that into the previous section
237:"The explosion caused serious damage to the port rudder assembly; the coupling was badly damaged and the rudder was then unable to be disengaged ...": The coupling on the port rudder assembly was badly damaged and the rudder could not be disengaged 881:
was Lütjens chief of staff and next to Lütjens and Lindemann the most senior officer on Bismarck who had already commanded Gneisenau. He was very much involved in the decision processes and posthumously received the German Cross in Gold.
122: 117: 584: 751:"Bismarck was the first of two Bismarck-class battleships built for the German Kriegsmarine shortly before World War II" - this is a bit misleading given that neither of the ships was completed before the war. 754:
Yeah, I had some trouble with the wording on this; "the late 1930s" isn't entirely accurate either. Perhaps the best course of action is to just remove that bit, since the construction timeline is in the next
220:"... loosened collision mats stemming the flood from the forward shell hole. Flooding increased, and eventually ...": loosened collision mats, so that flooding from the forward shell hole increased; eventually 296:"One of the holes is in the deck, on the bow's starboard side. The angle and shape indicates it was fired from Bismarck's port side and struck the starboard anchor chain.": The hole was fired? - Dank ( 217:"it was high speed and erratic manoeuvres to evade the torpedoes that inflicted more serious damage.": the high speed and erratic manoeuvres used to evade the torpedoes inflicted more serious damage. 764:
really suffer "heavy damage"? From memory, she was back in action after a few weeks of repairs, and the article states that she was combat-ready not long after the Battle of the Denmark Strait
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Not sure that "heaviest" is the proper word when describing her size. As you noted in the lede, only Vanguard was bigger and you might as well say it outright in the main body.
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By the way, is anybody else having trouble editing today? I keep getting a "loss of session data" error message, even though the edit window was open for less than a minute.
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It's not exactly wrong, but "Dr" is more common than "Dr." in BrEng, so mostly as a matter of avoiding frequent "corrections", we're usually going with "Dr" at FAC. - Dank (
492:. He either didn't see it or didn't care to answer. At this point, it's probably best to just remove the map, as I don't think we'll get a timely answer from him. 88: 83: 92: 40: 813:
I'm surprised that there's no material on the desperate mood among the ship's crew after her rudder was jammed given that this is covered in several sources
373:, too; Knowledge (XXG)'s style, and nowhere more than in Featured Articles, is not to regurgitate primary sources, but to summarize them according to their 644:
I'd probably use largest again since the following clause discussing Vanguard uses the only other formulation that I can think of off the top of my head.--
75: 234:"Fifteen aircraft comprised the second attack, which was launched at 19:10": the second attack comprised fifteen aircraft and was launched at 19:10 30: 17: 821:
The paragraph dedicated to James Cameron's assessment of the ship seems excessive: I don't believe that he's an authority on this kind of topic.
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The article is really well written - great work. I think that this is the most interesting of any of the battleship articles to date.
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article is an example of Knowledge (XXG)'s best work. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to review the article.
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A note explaining why an US Navy pilot was involved in the search for Bismarck 6 months before Pearl Harbor is needed.
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Link stem, boiler, superheated, shaft horsepower, knot, nautical mile, the 37mm and 20mm AA guns, catapult, list, trim
542:"(who was serving on the destroyer Tartar at the time.)" Seems to me the period should be after the closing parens. 71: 64: 580: 887: 783:
You're probably right, though I'm having a bit of trouble trying to reword it. Do you have any suggestions?
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Note C seems unnecessary given that this material is in the body of the article (where it works quite well)
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Sorry about the one week delay; I was much busier last weekend than I expected to be. Here are my comments:
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Added a couple of lines on that, and the demoralizing effects of the messages from Marinegruppe West.
565: 478: 293:, "if true, the only instance in history of one battleship torpedoing another".: Break that one up. 703: 675: 635: 515: 497: 454: 424: 396: 315: 184: 166: 883: 713: 685: 645: 613: 576: 374: 684:
Good point, how about displaced more than any battleship other than Vanguard, or some such?--
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Continuing. "St. Nazaire": Probably drop the full stop (period) since this is BrEng. - Dank (
865: 843: 826: 795: 440: 406: 358: 196:. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank ( 557: 474: 290: 878: 699: 671: 631: 511: 506:
For what it's worth, I've added a fair-use image depicting the discovery of the wreck (
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I've cut it down and merged it into the previous paragraph - how does that read now?
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had exploded 20 feet off the bow and rendered the starboard tube useless—the closest
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Hmm, I had asked the creator of the image during the last FAC, and a month later he
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Talk:German battleship Bismarck#Edit warring over references in the Wehrmachtbericht
109: 861: 839: 822: 791: 436: 354: 510:) - the FUR should be fine, but you might want to look at it to double-check. 435:
OK, I've struck my oppose, and will provide a full review over the weekend.
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Links added, along with a note on Ensign Smith and a direct mention of
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I wonder what the issue was - glad to hear I wasn't the only one :)
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Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
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I got several of those messages last night, so it wasn't just you.
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But then you run into problems with the definition of "largest" -
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in the body - as for "heaviest", do you have any alternatives?
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Featured article candidates/German battleship Bismarck/archive2
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Featured article candidates/German battleship Bismarck/archive1
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I fixed the "p. 538–540" issue (fixed a few other bits, too).
670:), for instance. "Heaviest" can only refer to displacement. 270:"opened fire. Almost immediately after,": opened fire, then 473:- on what source(s) was File:Rheinuebung_Karte.png based? 277:
fired two torpedoes from her port-side tube (a shell from
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I thought I had gotten rid of all of that "Hitler called
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Other than these minor issues, the article looks good.--
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How about "the two German ships continued to fire upon
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You don't use periods in title abbreviations in BE?
289:) and claimed one hit—a claim which, according to 901:The above discussion is preserved as an archive. 41:Knowledge (XXG) talk:Featured article candidates 545:Ref 117, "p. 538–540" should be "pp. 538–540" 223:"attempted to find him": attempted to find her 43:. No further edits should be made to this page. 310:are the edits. Thanks for helping with these. 907:No further edits should be made to this page. 29:The following is an archived discussion of a 8: 860:My above comments have now been addressed. 534:Has the image Nikki mentions been removed? 18:Knowledge (XXG):Featured article candidates 127: 698:What do you think about the wording now? 228:Bismarck 'him' so we have to" nonsense... 349:for now per my unaddressed comments at: 130: 115: 7: 24: 490:blanked his talk without replying 377:and set them in context. - Dank ( 767:Good point - removed that bit. 449:Thanks, I look forward to it. 1: 306:Everything should be fixed - 250:Search throughout for "Dr.". 877:Maybe worth mentioning? KzS 214:Search throughout for "St.". 31:featured article nomination 924: 72:German battleship Bismarck 65:German battleship Bismarck 722:19:58, 16 July 2012 (UTC) 708:15:45, 16 July 2012 (UTC) 694:15:07, 16 July 2012 (UTC) 585:03:11, 30 June 2012 (UTC) 571:23:32, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 502:16:22, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 483:16:18, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 459:13:29, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 445:10:44, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 429:13:29, 29 June 2012 (UTC) 415:16:39, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 401:13:20, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 383:11:42, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 363:09:43, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 339:16:57, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 320:13:34, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 302:03:25, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 262:14:55, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 246:00:55, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 210:00:04, 28 June 2012 (UTC) 189:13:34, 27 June 2012 (UTC) 171:13:34, 27 June 2012 (UTC) 904:Please do not modify it. 892:07:07, 8 July 2012 (UTC) 870:11:10, 9 July 2012 (UTC) 848:11:10, 9 July 2012 (UTC) 831:08:31, 7 July 2012 (UTC) 800:11:10, 9 July 2012 (UTC) 680:20:42, 5 July 2012 (UTC) 654:15:23, 5 July 2012 (UTC) 640:14:30, 5 July 2012 (UTC) 622:02:07, 5 July 2012 (UTC) 520:02:29, 3 July 2012 (UTC) 285:came to a direct hit on 36:Please do not modify it. 775:I think you're right. 56:15:07, 22 July 2012 879:de:Harald Netzbandt 537:Didn't you look? :p 331:standard disclaimer 666:(and shorter than 174: 156: 155: 915: 906: 662:was longer than 568: 563: 560: 530:from PumpkinSky 159: 128: 113: 95: 48:The article was 38: 923: 922: 918: 917: 916: 914: 913: 912: 911: 902: 788:Prince of Wales 762:Prince of Wales 566: 561: 558: 291:Ludovic Kennedy 86: 70: 68: 34: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 921: 919: 910: 909: 896: 855: 854: 853: 852: 851: 850: 819: 818: 817: 811: 810: 809: 808: 807: 806: 805: 790:" or similar? 778: 777: 776: 770: 769: 768: 758: 757: 756: 749: 737: 736: 735: 734: 733: 732: 731: 730: 729: 728: 727: 726: 725: 724: 610: 607: 604: 592: 591: 590: 589: 588: 587: 552: 551: 550: 549: 543: 540: 539: 538: 525: 524: 523: 522: 468: 467: 466: 465: 464: 463: 462: 461: 433: 432: 431: 389: 342: 341: 324: 323: 322: 294: 271: 268: 267: 266: 265: 264: 248: 238: 235: 232: 231: 230: 221: 218: 215: 212: 176: 175: 161:Nominator(s): 154: 153: 152: 151: 149:External links 146: 141: 133: 132: 126: 125: 120: 67: 62: 61: 46: 45: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 920: 908: 905: 899: 898: 897: 894: 893: 889: 885: 884:MisterBee1966 880: 876: 872: 871: 867: 863: 859: 849: 845: 841: 837: 836: 834: 833: 832: 828: 824: 820: 815: 814: 812: 804:Works for me. 803: 802: 801: 797: 793: 789: 785: 784: 782: 781: 779: 774: 773: 771: 766: 765: 763: 759: 753: 752: 750: 747: 746: 745: 743: 742: 723: 719: 715: 714:Sturmvogel 66 712:Looks good.-- 711: 710: 709: 705: 701: 697: 696: 695: 691: 687: 686:Sturmvogel 66 683: 682: 681: 677: 673: 669: 665: 661: 657: 656: 655: 651: 647: 646:Sturmvogel 66 643: 642: 641: 637: 633: 629: 625: 624: 623: 619: 615: 614:Sturmvogel 66 611: 608: 605: 602: 601: 600: 599: 598: 586: 582: 578: 574: 573: 572: 569: 564: 556: 555: 554: 553: 547: 546: 544: 541: 536: 535: 533: 532: 531: 529: 521: 517: 513: 509: 505: 504: 503: 499: 495: 491: 487: 486: 485: 484: 480: 476: 472: 460: 456: 452: 448: 447: 446: 442: 438: 434: 430: 426: 422: 418: 417: 416: 412: 408: 404: 403: 402: 398: 394: 390: 386: 385: 384: 380: 376: 372: 367: 366: 365: 364: 360: 356: 352: 348: 347: 340: 336: 332: 329:on prose per 328: 325: 321: 317: 313: 309: 305: 304: 303: 299: 295: 292: 288: 284: 280: 276: 272: 269: 263: 259: 255: 254: 252: 251: 249: 247: 243: 239: 236: 233: 229: 225: 224: 222: 219: 216: 213: 211: 207: 203: 202: 201: 199: 195: 191: 190: 186: 182: 173: 172: 168: 164: 158: 157: 150: 147: 145: 142: 140: 137: 136: 135: 134: 129: 124: 121: 119: 116: 114: 111: 107: 103: 99: 94: 90: 85: 81: 77: 73: 66: 63: 60: 58: 55: 51: 44: 42: 37: 32: 27: 26: 19: 903: 900: 895: 874: 873: 857: 856: 787: 761: 740: 739: 738: 667: 663: 659: 627: 596: 594: 593: 577:Br'er Rabbit 548:Sure should. 527: 526: 471:Image review 470: 469: 379:push to talk 345: 344: 343: 335:push to talk 326: 298:push to talk 286: 282: 278: 274: 258:push to talk 242:push to talk 227: 206:push to talk 198:push to talk 193: 192: 177: 160: 144:Citation bot 69: 49: 47: 35: 28: 838:Looks good 407:Mark Arsten 475:Nikkimaria 333:. - Dank ( 700:Parsecboy 672:Parsecboy 632:Parsecboy 512:Parsecboy 494:Parsecboy 451:Parsecboy 421:Parsecboy 393:Parsecboy 312:Parsecboy 181:Parsecboy 163:Parsecboy 760:Did HMS 741:Comments 664:Vanguard 660:Bismarck 628:Vanguard 597:Comments 595:Support 528:Comments 283:Bismarck 279:Bismarck 194:Comments 139:Analysis 54:Ian Rose 50:promoted 875:Comment 858:Support 559:Pumpkin 388:header. 371:WP:PSTS 327:Support 131:Toolbox 89:protect 84:history 862:Nick-D 840:Nick-D 823:Nick-D 792:Nick-D 437:Nick-D 375:weight 355:Nick-D 346:Oppose 287:Rodney 275:Rodney 93:delete 755:line. 110:views 102:watch 98:links 16:< 888:talk 866:talk 844:talk 827:talk 796:talk 718:talk 704:talk 690:talk 676:talk 668:Hood 650:talk 636:talk 618:talk 581:talk 567:talk 516:talk 508:here 498:talk 479:talk 455:talk 441:talk 425:talk 411:talk 397:talk 359:talk 316:talk 308:here 185:talk 167:talk 106:logs 80:talk 76:edit 562:Sky 200:) 52:by 890:) 868:) 846:) 829:) 798:) 720:) 706:) 692:) 678:) 652:) 638:) 620:) 583:) 518:) 500:) 481:) 457:) 443:) 427:) 413:) 399:) 381:) 361:) 337:) 318:) 300:) 260:) 244:) 208:) 187:) 169:) 108:| 104:| 100:| 96:| 91:| 87:| 82:| 78:| 59:. 33:. 886:( 864:( 842:( 825:( 794:( 716:( 702:( 688:( 674:( 648:( 634:( 616:( 579:( 514:( 496:( 477:( 453:( 439:( 423:( 409:( 395:( 357:( 314:( 273:" 183:( 165:( 112:) 74:(

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Knowledge (XXG):Featured article candidates
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Ian Rose

German battleship Bismarck
German battleship Bismarck
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