1311:. I love MONGO's national park articles. They're always well researched, and so is this. The prose is pleasing and reader-friendly, further improved by the reviewers here, and the structure is clear and appropriate. Disclosure: I peer reviewed the article, with many a nitpick, and MONGO promptly addressed all my concerns, so I really can't think of anything more to complain about at this stage. Also I did some copyediting, so feel free to disregard my support if I'm considered too involved. There was little enough to it, though — I'm abysmally ignorant of the subject and its vocabulary — I'm not even American — so my editing has necessarily been rather superficial. People like me get to painlessly learn a lot by reading an article like this, though; not just about the Yellowstone area and the Rockies, but American history altogether.
185:, the core improvements were greatly fine-tuned. Frutti provided comments and did a lot of copyediting and Mav discussed the need to split the mountaineering section into a history and recreation section. As an aside, I also wrote over 100 stubs in support of this article and created daughter articles to try and keep this one streamlined. We're hoping the community has further suggestions which will help this article gain Featured status. Thank you!
1532:: Congressional wrangling has choked off the preferred funding source for the U.S. Interior Department’s planned purchase of state-owned inholdings in Grand Teton National Park. While Wyoming and federal officials say they still have a year to find $ 11 million to complete the purchase of a parcel near the Snake River, they have not yet figured out how to raise the money.
1558:: Material deposited by streams issuing from a glacier is called outwash; the sheet of outwash in front of the glacier is called an outwash plain. If the terminus is retreating, masses of old stagnant ice commonly are buried beneath the outwash; when these melt, the space they once occupied became a deep circular or irregular depression called a kettle...
298:
Organized exploration of the region was halted during the
American Civil War but resumed when F. V. Hayden led the well-funded Hayden Geological Survey of 1871. Split into two divisions, the expedition explored Yellowstone under Hayden's leadership while a smaller group under James Stevenson explored
1507:
It's on the backjecket of the book...which indicates 800 routes are documented in the book "A Climber's Guide to the Teton Range"...the climbs in Death Canyon started in earnest in the mid 1970s and new routes were explored over the next several decades. I updated the info and added a reference...I
1153:
This I did not change. I didn't want to go off on a tangent and make the history section even more extensive, but the issue regarding the Colter Stone is that there is disagreement as to whether it was carved by John Colter, and therefore authentic, or if it was done by later expeditions...the key
172:
to the one we have now, I feel it is near
Featured Article in quality. The article is quite long but also quite comprehensive and is backed by extensive referencing. One thing which was important to convey without drowning out the rest of the article was the fight to have the park established and
800:, you'll see (now that I've doubled checked this too) that the John Moulton Barn and T.A. Moulton Barn do have some structural differences...but its the mountains which capture the image really, so it would be easy for many to make an incorrect assumption on those barns...oops!--
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1149:"The Colter Stone has not been authenticated to have been created by John Colter and may have been the work of later expeditions to the region": seems awkward. How about: "The Colter Stone may have been created by John Colter or by a subsequent expedition to the region"?
772:
WOW. So my innocuous question led to the correction of a photo identity error? TA's barn is a straight slant roof, John's is has a bend in it, otherwise they are very similar. They must be very close to one another as the moutain peaks in the background are identical.
1390:
can also be used for the imperfective aspect in past time. In the sentence "Back then, I would eat early and would walk to school...." "would" signifies not the conditional mood, but rather, repeated past actions in the imperfective aspect (specifically, habitual
912:
Refs 103, 104, 106 have month and day. Where's the year? Also they have single digits without leading zero but other refs have leading zero (such as 118). 86 and 89 has no leading zero too. Pls make consistent if have leading zero or not have them.
640:. Licenses look good. most are National Park Service or released by owner, several are stunning, two are featured pictures...but the barn seems to be called both the John Moulton Barn and Thomas Moulton Barn. Do you know why? Just curious....
1492:: During the latter decades of the 20th century, extremely difficult cliffs were explored including some in Cascade and Death Canyons and by 2000, more than 800 different climbing routes had been established on the various peaks.
117:
688:
According to the NRHP documentation (all 332 pages of it), it's the John
Moulton Barn as the photo itself describes. The T.A. Moulton barn has a different roof shape, confirmed by a HABS survey of the T.A. Moulton place.
1035:
This article is comprehensive, well-written, and more than adequately referenced. I'm still concerned about length since it is a long read but that is a minor quibble given the complexities of the park's founding.
1610:: a few anthropogenic sources, such as campgrounds, septic systems, and cultivated lands, do exist in the basins. Concentrations of trace metals and pesticides were low in samples collected from the Snake River.
581:
I updated this reference with chapter, the author of the chapter, a url link and moved added the editor. It's an annual journal with chapters written by various mountaineers discussing climbs made.
382:
This detail was in the article earlier, but since we couldn't phrase it well and the history section was already so long, we removed it..it can be added back...still dealing with url issues.--
1604:: In a study published in 2002, the Snake River was found to have better overall water quality than other river systems in Wyoming, and to have suffered virtually no anthropogenic pollution.
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1641:
I read the source as saying the Snake River has better water quality than other rivers in
Wyoming...I adjusted the wording from "virtually no" to low impacts as per the source.
1397:
warmer months, and so presumably every year, and so was in fact iterative and habitual, not a one-time event... better make that clear right away, with a "would", to my sense.
447:"Precambrian rocks in Jackson Hole are buried deep under comparatively recent Tertiary volcanic and sedimentary deposits, as well as Pleistocene glacial deposits." - source?
1393:." Simply "migrated" sounds more like they went there once and for all, and then the reader comes up with something of a bump against the realization that it happened
1232:
since the Tetons and
Jackson Hole have apparently experienced several glaciations that created the landscape and not just the most recent one, but Ice Age was vague.
796:
Exactly and thanks again for bringing this up. I read the two barns are .3 miles (0.48Â km) away from one another, and they do look a lot alike, but if you check out
1474:
Updated a bit...the intent to transfer the property was made public in 2001, officially transfered in 2007 and the location was dediacted in 2008...added a source.
173:
expanded, which went on for decades, so the history section is accordingly lengthy. This has been a collaborative effort and thanks to the outstanding Peer Review
1459:: In 2001, the Rockefeller family donated what remained of its JY Ranch for the establishment of the Laurance S. Rockefeller Preserve, dedicated on June 21, 2008.
675:
I am glad you have brought this up. Apparently there are two barns, both very similar in appearance. I'll get to the bottom of this naming issue within 24 hours.
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437:"The park is not noted for large waterfalls; however, 100-foot (30 m) high Hidden Falls just west of Jenny Lake is easy to reach after a short hike" - source?
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1161:"...many of the place names to some of the mountains and lakes...": which is it, many or some? Or do some of the mountains and lakes have many place names?
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759:
Super! So the name on this article was correct but it was the wrong image in the T.A. Moulton Barn page...thank you so much for helping with this.
221:"Efforts to exchange federal land from other areas for inholdings was still in the negotiation phase in 2012" An effort was, or efforts were? –
1615:
I can't see where it says the overall water quality is better, and how does "virtually no" in the article reconcile with "low" in the source?
395:. To keep the history minimized we decided to omit the matter since it wasn't possible to cleanup the mention without going off on a tangent.--
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article and someone else added the image: I'm investigating whether it can be moved to the correct title and re-linked to the GRTE article.
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I reworded this and think it flows better now. I also moved up other waterfowl to keep
Trumpter swans and other waterfowl mentions together
1399:
On the other hand, if the nuance of "would" is only clear to grammar nerds like me, perhaps shorter (i. e. "migrated") really is simpler.
1508:
am not familiar with embedded notes within references to clarify this, so I listed two different pages from that source in one reference.
1173:"Main article: Teton Range" and "Main article: Canyons of the Teton Range" should be combined into a single main article statement. See
567:
This was tough, but I think I have it now. I removed most initals after rechecking the references and added real first names as I could.
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when the first nomadic hunter-gatherer Paleo-Indians would migrate into the region during warmer months in pursuit of food and supplies
1138:"...were known within their culture as the "Sheep-eaters" or "Tukudika" as they referred to themselves...": please fix the redundancy.
195:
Update...due to NPS changes to their webuser interface, there are now a number of dead reflinks which I will correct here shortly.--
1282:
Good eyes! I had forgotten about restrictive and nonrestrictive clauses and your other comments here are most helpful. Thank you!--
957:
Just a habit...helps me better differentiate between when the ref was accessed and when the ref was updated at the source..I guess
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1465:: The Laurance S. Rockefeller Preserve is the former JY Ranch and served as a longtime summer retreat for the Rockefeller family.
299:
the Teton region. Along with
Stevenson was photographer William Henry Jackson who took the first photographs of the Teton Range.
1126:"One of the tools is of a type associated with the Clovis culture which existed 11,500 years ago": this sentence seems awkward.
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953:
Is there a reason retrieve dates are YYYY-MM-DD and other dates are Month Day, Year? The pattern does seem consistent though.
301:
The source link is dead and even a google search couldn't find a good link to the article. There is no mention of a split in
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1114:"Noted for world-class trout fishing...": what is "world-class" trout fishing? Perhaps "world-renowned" is what is intended?
368:
through
Yellowstone into Jackson Hole and down the Snake River. It was the first winter exploration of the Jackson area. --
1090:
There are numerous instances of the non-restrictive "which clause" that should be preceded by a comma or changed to 'that'.
511:
adjusted one I saw. Primary is last name then first name, seconday authors always first then last names...will double check
1498:: Today one has a choice of some 80 routes and variations to the summit, with 15 more available on the adjacent Enclosure.
858:
PDF refs...ref 2 does not have the PDF parameter, others do. Pls make consistent. Can you make them all UC as shown in
1552:: The kettles were formed when ice situated under gravel outwash from ice sheets melted as the glaciers retreated.
1239:"which is the smallest bird species in North America as well as the Trumpeter Swan": please address the ambiguity.
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1526:: Efforts to exchange federal land from other areas for inholdings were still in the negotiation phase in 2012.
1408:
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1055:– Most of my concerns were addressed and I think this article satisfies the FA criteria. Nice work! Regards,
204:
Update...checklinks is showing 12 dead or weak links..I'll finish updating these in next 24 hours...thanks.--
1251:
Some mention of overflight restrictions would be good, particularly with regard to the
Jackson Hole Airport.
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364:
Don't know if you want to add this, but there was an organized expedition in the winter of 1876-77 by Lt.
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1503:
I can't see 800 routes mentione din the source and the exploration of cliff's in the late 20th century.
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The
Stevenson/Jackson split occured during the 1872 Hayden Survey. Am trying to find a source, but in
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on prose and comprehensiveness grounds, only one minor quibble - no deal-breakers prose-wise found.
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305:, Merrill (.ed), 1999. I suspect if such a split did occur it was in a later Hayden expedition. --
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1219:"...period of global cooling known as the Ice Age": here, "the Ice Age" is colloquial usage. The "
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Otherwise the article looks pretty good and I'm in favor of its promotion to FA status. Regards,
261:
Coordinates and reference were wrong. Probably a typo as it was just 1 digit off. Corrected. --
218:
2 instances of "are dominate". is this some topic-specific adj., or should it be "are dominant"?
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347:...how does that look? There is a reference for those three sentences one sentence later...--
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Yellowstone and the Great West-Journals, Letters and Images from the 1871 Hayden Expedition
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on your last point, I simply took the ref and sentence ending out as it is not significant
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1207:"A great deal of erosion..." is vague. I think you can lose the "A great deal of" here.
515:
Better, only issue now is with 3+ authors (whether you use "and" or just punctuation).
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Ref numbers...are not all in sequence, such as "Davey Jackson.", "Whooping Crane."
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from HABS. The John Moulton Barn description is correct for the featured image.
168:
After a more than a year off and on of editing, which has taken the article from
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1630:
I'll attend to this in the next day or two...thank you for checking things out.
1578:: Sixty-one species of mammals have been recorded in Grand Teton National Park.
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427:"on land that was traditionally a wintering location for the tribe" - source?
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1102:"...rocks found in the park are the oldest found...": double use of "found".
1095:
Thank you for pointing this out. I have gone and adjust them all I believe
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1423:
You're right Frutti - serves me right for scanning pages too quickly :)
1386:
181:(who has assisted me on several other FAs) and experienced FA writer
866:
I think I got those all..all PDF links should have uppercase PDF now
588:
39:
Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
1017:
Thanks for your comments! I will resume effort over next day or two
729:
I've gotten it sorted out and inserted the appropriate image into
471:
done...shall have to remember to check these better in the future.
1154:
word here is "authentic" that I can't seem to get around without.
922:
Went and dropped the "0"...think I got the dates straightened out
1143:
Take a look if you can as I think I have this better worded now
577:, which partially matches the citation given - can you verify?
540:
FN58 and similar: suggest using "at" parameter instead of page
457:"as plans are made to possibly build a new facility" - source?
118:
Featured article candidates/Grand Teton National Park/archive1
530:
I removed "and" from the only two references with this issue.
1373:
I think I was trying to include the reason they migrated...
1256:
I added more about this aspect as well as a solid reference
550:
FN68 and similar: chapter title should use dash, not hyphen
1195:"...from corresponding rock layers in it": some ambiguity.
143:
1291:
You can see the changes I made to address your concerns
563:
Be consistent in whether author initials are punctuated
243:
or maybe that sentence needs a better cleanup. Thanks!--
1292:
813:
So 0.3 miles apart, they're neighboring farms no doubt.
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Be consistent in how multi-author works are notated
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All the Jackson photos of Grand Teton are dated 1872
487:Check formatting of quotes within quotes in titles
1212:Reworded as suggested and made further adjustments
617:Nikkimaria...still working on your points above...
1658:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
296:section, I believe this paragraph is inaccurate:
461:I updated this information and added a reference
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
1470:I can't see the 2001 donation mentioned here.
1131:It had bad flow so I altered this one as well.
1664:No further edits should be made to this page.
1119:I changed this to world-renowned as suggested
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
8:
963:Refs 102 ND 143 are missing PDF parameter.
497:Be consistent in how editions are notated
467:Use p. for single pages, pp. for multiple
122:
41:Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates
391:Mike, you can see the Doane mention in
125:
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1584:: (See List of Mammals) 61 are listed.
1188:Done and thanks for pointing that out
1107:Yes...eliminated the unneeded "found"
852:Got those...anymore...I'm going blind
652:Then why do some people call it John?
18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates
7:
491:Saw that..thanks...and it's adjusted
239:...as an adjective and it should be
1369:- why not simply "migrated" here?
24:
343:I clarified and corrected this...
591:a high-quality reliable source?
983:...will continue looking over.
917:Will look at over next 48 hours
874:You missed one ;-) I fixed it.
1:
1200:I went and removed that piece
608:(my responses all italicized)
1385:"Would" works well for me. "
973:Ref 95 should be p. not pp.
930:missed a space, I fixed it
553:FN76: volume isn't edition
31:featured article nomination
1681:
177:by experienced copyeditor
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525:00:53, 18 June 2012 (UTC)
431:rephrased and now sourced
294:Organized exploration ...
72:Grand Teton National Park
65:Grand Teton National Park
1661:Please do not modify it.
1223:" would be more concise.
1166:Adjusted for better flow
1024:03:59, 5 June 2012 (UTC)
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36:Please do not modify it.
1341:I'll jot queries below:
477:FN11: range needs dash
412:- spotchecks not done.
644:Corrected..it's Thomas
366:Gustavus Cheyney Doane
257:Comments by Mike Cline
1230:Quaternary glaciation
573:FN130: ISBN leads to
1593:Thanks for checking!
1567:Thanks for checking!
1541:Thanks for checking!
56:15:35, 28 June 2012
1221:last glacial period
441:reference now added
235:Yes...it should be
1079:– a few concerns:
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798:this link
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1435:contribs
1425:Casliber
1354:contribs
1344:Casliber
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1228:I added
701:contribs
237:dominant
223:Ling.Nut
134:Analysis
54:Ian Rose
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718:(talk)
93:delete
1643:MONGO
1634:MONGO
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1478:MONGO
1388:Would
1376:MONGO
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384:MONGO
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329:]. --
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110:views
102:watch
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1348:talk
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1293:here
1273:talk
1178:Main
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1008:talk
994:talk
977:Done
967:Done
941:talk
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544:Done
521:talk
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106:logs
80:talk
76:edit
1406:di
1318:di
1295:.--
1268:RJH
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1003:Sky
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52:by
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