1106:"All above issues are fixed". Not exactly. And, like I indicated above, the entire article needs a copyedit for prose issues, so please do so. I should not be able to skim through and easily spot grammatical glitches, punctuation errors, awkward phrasing, etc. in an FA-quality article. Once the whole article has been copyedited, then feel free to bring me back here for a second look.
699:"player uses the guitar controller to hit musical notes as they scroll towards the player on screen." - the second use of "the player" could be avoided...perhaps "player uses the guitar controller to hit musicl notes as they scroll towards the top of the screen." (I think that's what the GH (series) article, which I reviewed the other day, uses)
598:"Harmonix continually had to modify the track list as certain songs were cleared or removed based on licensing issues, balancing difficulty and popularity of the track list, which continued concurrent with the development of the game engine and up nearly to the shipping date." Cumbersome sentence, and you have to disambiguate "as" in reverse.
1044:"The gameplay is similar to other music and rhythm video games, in that the player must play scrolling notes to complete a song." Similar problem here. If a reader is unfamiliar with this genre, this description is not helpful. The reader is left wondering what "scrolling notes" are and how exactly to "play" them.
1053:"The player is awarded points for correctly hitting notes, chords, and sustains, and gains multiplier bonuses for consecutively playing notes correctly." Again, no links to help readers unfamiliar with some of the terminology. There's a less awkward way of phrasing "consecutively playing notes correctly".
623:
I've gone through and tried to correct some additional longer and awkward sentences in addition to the above. I will note some quotes are full sentence quotes that, per MOS, should include the trailing period inside the quote, but I've gone through to move the period on partial quotes outside of the
259:
In describing career mode it says "Players can choose their on-stage character, their guitar of choice, and the venue in which they wish to play; these elements have no effect on gameplay but affect the visuals during the performance." Is this accurate? I don't believe that you can pick the venue
190:
Leaning
Support, but haven't done a close evaluation yet. I'm actually inclined to believe that this is a most appropriate size for an article about a single video game. On first glance I thought the article needed expansion, but the things I would have suggested for expansion were indeed covered
367:
Ooh, almost missed it- I don't like the way you started off the development section. Once sentence para/self-stating ref seems...unencyclopedic. There's got to be a better way to say that the details came from Ron Kay than to say... that the details came from an interview with Ron Kay. I'm not
78:
GAs I helped with), its been polished up on references and other details to complete it to a comparable quality as the other games in the series and other FAs I've helped on. I've skipped the GA since I knew this article should eventually qualify as an FA, and with GA overloaded right now, have
838:
While the song's in the game, to keep down the personal bias, the examples of the songs in the game is based on a list in that cited ref; however, people do manage to add their personal favorites here, and that's how that
Pantera song got in there without quotes. It has been removed.
877:"Since then, the game has sold nearly 1.5 million copies through September 2007" - typical question - any more updated figures? Check the list of best selling video games (I think that's the title...), that one is kept up to date really well and should have the most recent figures
1034:." If you can, think about this from the perspective of the reader that is unfamiliar with the game. What image does "hit musical notes..." convey? Much better would be a more literal description of the gameplay (something like "hit buttons on the controller...").
684:"This article is about the 2005 video game. For the series, see Guitar Hero (series)." - I don't think this is necessary; unlikely to type "GH (VG)" in the search box when looking for the series (more likely to type "GH", which redirects to the series).
1047:"The guitar peripheral works by pressing the fret buttons simultaneously with the strum bar, while on the standard controller one simply presses the corresponding button." Not a single link to explain any of the terminology. "the corresponding button"?
783:
With the Drist addition below, that's three redlinks, but they are redlinks of businesses or groups. Mind you, it would be really simple to create a stub page for them, but when I did a previous FA that had a redlinked company name, it was passed ok.
591:
the closing quotations marks: and started with "super-basic Pong-style graphics" for the game display; through this, they found that "the controller really was the kind of magic sauce for what we wanted to do." There are other examples,
1068:"Quick Play mode is a simpler method of playing songs, as it allows the player to select a track" "As" does not work as a connector here. Better to break this into two sentences. Is it really a "simpler method of playing songs"?
350:
I think the article is just the right size- the only reason most vg articles are longer is due to the plot section, which this game is lacking. There are a couple of redlinks that need to be created or delinked, though.
445:
The information is only provided from the interviewee, and other information in the interview agrees with other, already stated reliable sources, but I have added a corroborating, more reliable source (from
Blender
141:
I'm not going to be reviewing this article, but I've noticed that ref 28 leads to the website but not the actual article, so the ref is useless. I checked after being unsure of the grammatical correctness of
174:
Ok, that was a moved link. The rest all report as ok with the link checker tool (the NYTimes one has a weird redirect sequence but the URL gets you to the article, so no idea what's going on there). --
1157:
The points being asked for sources are either sourced in the same sentence or in the following sentence; it's the same book reference that's used about 8 other times during the development section. --
211:
FWIW, GH was a hit, but GH2 is really what generated the huge support for the series. If there's any need to bring in more from the GH(series) page or seealso to it, please say so. --
229:
In the lead, I wonder if "controller" is better than peripheral? Not sure if peripheral is common terminology outside of video games, whereas controller I think is acceptable to all?
457:
That site is currently having problems, it was fine yesterday - everything there is borked (it's affected another FA too), but it is the home of the awards so the best site to use.
1253:
Article is comprehensive, well-written, and adequately sourced. I see nothing lacking and no outstanding issues that prevent this from achieving FA status. Good job guys. --
1017:
Mostly prose issues; the article assumes far too much knowledge on the part of the reader, and is confusing to those unfamiliar with these types of games. Some examples:
1270:- Could only find problems with some of the prose. I've given it a copyedit to fix problems I've spotted - feel free to revert if you're not happy with the changes.--
1120:
I have asked someone else who hasn't had major involvement with the article to check the prose as I am not seeing the issues (not yet done yet, just to note here). --
868:"Many reviews praised the game's learning curve and difficulty approach" - in what way? Is there a long or short learning curve, is the game easy or hard, etc.?
40:
703:
Ref 1 confuses me...it doesn't seem to have an article title, and seems to have two authors (but not placed alongside each other...)...enlighten me please :)
1143:- LAck of sources. I added to ref tags both were simply deleted. Clearly it is not possible to reference these facts, so the editor simply removes them. --
1094:
All above issues are fixed and I tried to identify similar ones later one, though once the terms are wikilinked, that sets them for the article, so... --
1059:"pressing another button on a standard controller" "Another" implies there was some other button mentioned previously; this does not seem to be the case.
264:
Technically also after you've cleared that arena in career you can go back and play an unlocked song in it, but that's too difficult to state easily.
30:
17:
1037:"spanning five decades of rock, from the 1960s to current music" Avoid terms that will become dated, such as "current", which is imprecise anyway.
887:"Harmonix has since left the development of the series due to being acquired by MTV" - this needs a ref (the fact that they did it because of MTV)
652:
Is this necessarily a problem? The order feels better with dev before gameplay, but its not like it can be changed around without any work. --
776:"The game was to focus mostly on hard rock songs" - wlink hard rock, and also the title of the Ramones song, if there's an article on it
1056:"using the whammy bar during sustains" And the "whammy bar" is...? I see it's linked far down; it should be linked on first mention.
679:
Newspaper publishers in references (NYTimes etc.) need to in italics (changing publisher= to work= in cite web does the trick here)
195:
article, and by covering these matters in a central article, it allows GH II, and III to be kept to reasonable lengths as well. --
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Caption: "The controller that was packaged with the game, an approximately 3/4 scale reproduction of a Gibson SG."—It's just a
549:
Just in case this sourcing is a problem, I've added a secondary source that lists the awards; the IAA site is still borked. --
463:
254:"affect the behavior of the Rock Meter in a positive manner." Sort of awkward. Just "increase the level on the Rock Meter?"
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Also, that area quoted above talking about Star Power is a good example of why gameplay should come before development...
674:
I agree with Fuchs that gameplay should go before development. Personally, the order feels better the other way around...
245:
In Guitar Hero Three you can also activate star power with the select button on the guitar peripheral. Not in this one?
1080:
I'm stopping here with my specific comments, but I've skimmed the rest of the article, which needs a copy-edit as well.
291:. Article is short but to the point, and I don't think articles on relatively simple video games need to be lengthy. --
1112:
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94:
Needs to be expanded. And even though GA is is busy, perhaps because of its renown, it can speed up a bit faster. --
1074:"Two fret boards..." No description of "fret boards" earlier, so the less knowledgeable reader is left confused.
818:"Marcus Henderson of the band Drist provided many of the lead guitar tracks for the covers" - again, wlink Drist
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973:; this article doesn't appear to have been reviewed for MoS issues in spite of two weeks at FAC. Please ask
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is unclear. Worth a billion? A billion in sales? A billion in profits? Three distinct possibilities.
1050:
Spot the logical break in the first paragraph of
Gameplay. It would work much better as two paragraphs.
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740:"to provide a little more depth to the game — some replay value" - em dashes shouldn't be spaced
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1071:"the player is given a score and a rating based on five stars" Is this only for Quick Play mode?
274:
Did IGN really say "the mini SG makes is what makes Guitar Hero, rather than what breaks it"?
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1065:"Players can choose their on-stage character and their guitar of choice." Spot the redundancy.
978:
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The "Laurence King" is the publisher name, not an author (aka, that's a cite book template).
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http://www.next-gen.biz/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=8746&Itemid=2
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1062:"play across the other game modes" I'm not sure "across" is the best preposition here.
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583:. The prose is not uniformly professional, as required, and there are MOS breaches.
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736:"The controller initially has pressure-sensitive fret buttons" - keep paste tense
587:
MOS requires the final punctuation of quotations begun within WP sentences to be
281:
Yes, yes they did (I just checked) I'm going edit this to remove the extra bits.
270:
I'm not sure what this means "the software... allowed them to reauthor a song".
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Pinging here; Epbr123 has been asked, and he's gone through for MOS fixes. --
595:"The team did not have any initial idea ..."—The team had no idea initially?
1201:
Noted: it's not necessary to cite the same source twice in one sentence.
694:"The gameplay is very similar to the GuitarFreaks" - "the" is unnecessary
401:- agree with above. The article is (for the most part) good enough. --
1077:"The game supports toggling..." Why is this a one sentence paragraph?
835:"Cowboys From Hell by Pantera" - missing quotation marks around song
743:
This is a quote from a source - should we modify it to fit WP's MOS?
439:
39:
Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
688:
Likely from when there wasn't a disamb for "Guitar Hero", gone now.
641:: Most FA videogame articles have the gameplay before development.
842:
Not sure how a
Pantera song would be a favourite, but anyways...!
1032:
hit musical notes as they scroll towards the bottom of the screen
248:
It's a detail in the series article that that section references.
1020:
Lead should be expanded to include a summary of its development.
823:"In the case of Black Sabbath'" - need an s after the apostrophe
536:
I"ll assume that the borked site will return, everything fixed!
746:
I don't know. You'll need to ask someone...leave it for now.
368:
going to bother to strike my support, but fix it anyway. --
452:
http://www.interactive.org/awards.php?winners&year=2006
605:
and thus there should be no period at the end. See MOS.
1218:
Agreed. I have also noted that on SSman07's talk page.
561:
And the site is back to normal, no more borked link. --
125:
I understand. So I suppose that will be most of it. --
495:
http://www.gamechoiceawards.com/archive/gdca_6th.htm
828:See also link in Gameplay section should point to
497:(current ref 39) is lacking publisher information
66:- Article was in decent shape before (compared to
1287:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
897:Do refs 42 and 43 have publication dates? (date=)
511:All other links checked out fine with the tool.
41:Knowledge (XXG) talk:Featured article candidates
1040:"more than one billion dollars in sales" -: -->
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
1293:No further edits should be made to this page.
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
8:
113:covers the overall aspects of the series. --
18:Knowledge (XXG):Featured article candidates
1030:"the player uses the guitar controller to
260:in career mode. Only in quickplay, right?
930:Couple points for you to double check. --
901:Year dates, but not exact; added anyway.
487:Exactly, it's been reliable in the past.
308:All other points should be addressed. --
462:Hm.. haven't run into this site before
977:to run through, and ping when done.
331:and also liked reading this article.
7:
442:a reliable site for an interview?
24:
440:http://www.entdepot.com/index.php
327:Yeah, I agree. Also, I worked on
109:Expanded how? I will point that
72:Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
234:the meaning of "billion-dollar
1179:tags have since been removed.
881:Adds another 30k to the value.
79:brought it straight to FAC.
1:
830:Guitar Hero (series)#Gameplay
454:gives a page not found error
146:. Please check all sources.
31:featured article nomination
1310:
1280:21:43, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
1263:03:36, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
1236:05:25, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
1214:00:17, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
1197:00:11, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
1165:21:01, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
1153:19:30, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
1128:00:42, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
1116:06:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
1102:04:44, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
1090:22:43, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
1006:04:49, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
780:A few redlinks - notable?
557:21:50, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
545:22:23, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
532:20:21, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
520:19:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
483:20:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
466:what makes them reliable?
430:22:23, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
408:00:50, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
390:05:08, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
378:05:01, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
361:04:59, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
341:00:27, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
316:04:49, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
301:03:02, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
224:Okay, some small niggles:
219:13:57, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
205:00:51, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
182:20:35, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
166:20:24, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
135:21:29, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
121:20:07, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
104:19:59, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
87:17:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
990:18:37, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
962:06:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
938:15:42, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
925:07:59, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
860:06:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
809:06:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
764:06:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
727:06:43, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
660:20:59, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
648:20:06, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
644:Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs
632:13:46, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
619:09:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
569:22:28, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
1290:Please do not modify it.
58:Guitar Hero (video game)
36:Please do not modify it.
709:I feel enlightened. :)
581:Waiting on improvements
144:a "cultural phenomena"
52:00:50, 16 April 2008.
469:It's the website for
891:Added refs for this.
193:Guitar Hero (series)
111:Guitar Hero (series)
1182:dihydrogen monoxide
947:dihydrogen monoxide
910:dihydrogen monoxide
871:Added details here.
845:dihydrogen monoxide
794:dihydrogen monoxide
787:Yeah, that's not a
749:dihydrogen monoxide
712:dihydrogen monoxide
524:Points addressed --
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1169:Sandy: The
1027:similar..."
473:I believe.
438:What makes
236:Guitar Hero
1221:Lightsup55
1113:Journalist
1087:Journalist
446:magazine).
907:Rock on.
624:quote. --
475:Gary King
382:Fixed. --
333:Gary King
238:franchise
1272:Gazimoff
1251:Support:
943:Support.
789:big deal
668:Comments
538:Ealdgyth
513:Ealdgyth
423:Ealdgyth
415:Comments
404:Shruti14
293:JayHenry
197:JayHenry
50:promoted
1268:Support
1205:Georgia
1145:SSman07
1109:Budding
1083:Budding
981:Georgia
639:Comment
399:Support
348:Support
325:Support
289:support
278:twice?
191:in the
150:Ashnard
1141:Oppose
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615:(talk)
500:Fixed.
92:Oppose
1255:Noj r
1203:Sandy
979:Sandy
971:Notes
589:after
370:PresN
353:PresN
276:Makes
16:<
1276:talk
1259:talk
1210:Talk
1174:fact
1161:ASEM
1149:talk
1124:ASEM
1098:ASEM
1025:very
1002:ASEM
986:Talk
934:ASEM
656:ASEM
628:ASEM
609:Tony
592:too.
565:ASEM
553:ASEM
542:Talk
528:ASEM
517:Talk
479:talk
427:Talk
386:ASEM
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312:ASEM
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131:talk
117:ASEM
100:talk
83:ASEM
70:and
76:FAs
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