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I am sorry that I wasn't able to address these concerns. Some personal stuff has come up and I'm really busy currently. I appreciate the comments and will continue to work on improving this article. Thanks! ~
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Although I'm pretty active over at FLCs, this is my first attempt at a FAC — trial by fire, I guess. This article concerns the 2019 death of reported finance billionaire and sex offender
Jeffrey Epstein. ~
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146:"Many public figures accused the Federal Bureau of Prisons of negligence and inefficiency" - I can derive negligence from what's in the text, but what accusations were made related to inefficiency?
140:"Epstein's lawyers challenged that conclusion and opened their own investigation, hiring pathologist Michael Baden." - the text says Baden was hired prior to the conclusion
152:"This letter was written in ball point pen, despite the fact that no prisoners, especially those on suicide watch, were allowed to have one under jail protocol." - source?
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3 It's not clear of the source that says "he was transported in cardiac arrest". That is not in the body and he was probably transported in an ambulance.
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If these errors are present in the lead alone, I dread to think what the rest of the article is like. It is clear this is not ready or right for FA.
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1 "new" charges? There's no mention of "old" charges or what the "new" charges are. I'm confused about the situation within the first sentence.
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4 The final sentence of the paragraph is odd. It does not explain why the hiring the pathologist is relevant to their disbelieving the M.E.
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is misused here, for example (SAMPLE ONLY): Consequently, prison personnel also failed to photograph
Epstein's body as it was found..
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Isn't this way too early to write a conclusive article about? I'm sure much illuminating info will be revealed in the coming years.
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11 There is no point having reference 5 in the middle of the sentence – it can move to the end where it covers the meaning better.
155:"Ghislaine Maxwell, who was arrested and indicted in July 2020" - the text says charged not indicted, which is correct?
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5 Why are some abbreviations (like FBI and CPR) without periods and others (like a.m., and U.S.) with periods?
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What's the source for the coordinates given? They're different from what's in the correctional centre article
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as questionable - what leads you to believe it qualifies as a high-quality reliable source? Ditto
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has been withdrawn, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
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conducting investigations suggest it's about five years to early to have this as an FA.
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are helpful. A peer review first might have better prepared this article for FAC. Also,
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8 Investigations cannot "shift attention": they are inanimate processes. The
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I want to join Nikki's concerns on citations. Also, see my general advice at
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7 The final sentence of the second paragraph is grammatically awkward.
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moved their focus (also note that "shift attention" is lax phrasing).
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FN3: Reuters is a publisher not a work. Ditto CNBC, check for others
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FN2: authors listed don't match source. Ditto FN22, check for others
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Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
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adjustments needed. That's just based on a very quick glance.
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User:SandyGeorgia/Achieving excellence through featured content
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Direct quotes should be cited in the lead even if cited later
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10 Ghislaine
Maxwell. Who she? That needs more background.
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Be consistent in when you provide publication locations
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and the top of my userpage regarding the overuse of
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What makes Heavy.com a high-quality reliable source?
504:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
161:Be consistent in when/if you wikilink work titles
203:FN13 is incomplete. Ditto FN30, check for others
197:Be consistent in when/if accessdate is included
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
510:No further edits should be made to this page.
483:template in place on the talk page until the
250:is almost always redundant. The exercises at
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
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164:Be consistent in when/if you provide ISSNs
41:Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates
200:Why NPR.org in FN11 but just NPR in FN1?
191:for politics-related content, and others
158:FN1 has the publisher and work reversed
252:User:Tony1/How to improve your writing
18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates
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362:9 sex-trafficking needs a link.
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497:00:11, 23 October 2020 (UTC)
457:23:44, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
425:23:17, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
393:22:40, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
319:18:18, 18 October 2020 (UTC)
301:16:31, 18 October 2020 (UTC)
273:14:41, 18 October 2020 (UTC)
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129:07:43, 18 October 2020 (UTC)
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478:featured article candidates
345:6 The fact that two bodies
333:2 What does CPR stand for?
31:featured article nomination
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211:pending citation cleanup.
507:Please do not modify it.
73:Death of Jeffrey Epstein
36:Please do not modify it.
399:Request for withdrawal
136:- spotchecks not done
232:however, subsequently
281:I'll get to work. ~
234:, and in this case,
207:Stopping there and
181:Washington Examiner
64:) 23 October 2020
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81:Nominator(s): ~
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179:lists the
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489:Ian Rose
465:: This
389:contribs
377:unsigned
311:FunkMonk
189:Fox News
54:Ian Rose
50:archived
448:Georgia
264:Georgia
325:Oppose
256:MOS:LQ
209:oppose
177:WP:RSP
58:FACBot
445:Sandy
261:Sandy
16:<
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