751:"Because the college and town were planned together, many of the town's residents were affiliated to the college. Consequently, the two entities shared a common purpose." I don't understand what "affiliated" means here -- do you mean that most of the town's residents were connected to the college in some way, usually by employment? If so, the second sentence isn't really clear either; what does it mean to say that the town shared the same purpose? I imagine the intended meaning is something like "the town was run in a way that was supportive of the college's goals", but it's not clear.
785:"The campus and the city of Oxford was planned and built in 1837 by Edward Lloyd Thomas ..." We already know the date from the earlier section; it's not unreasonable to separate the campus section in the way you've done here but I don't think this works. At a minimum, avoid duplicating material between the two sections unless it's necessary for flow; and keep the Campus section to current status, with the history in the historical section.
735:, on prose grounds. Some specific points from the first couple of sections are below, and then a couple of items from later in the article to indicate that the problems are throughout. There is a lot of good material here but it needs a pass through from a good writer who is unfamiliar with the material and hence will spot places where the writing is disconnected or out of chronological order.
739:"In 1833 the Georgia Methodist Conference first considered establishing a church-sponsored manual labor school": I'm not sure what "first" means here. Was this the first time they considered establishing a church-sponsored manual labour school? Or the first time they considered establishing a school at all?
841:
Haha169 asked me to take another look at the article after the recent copyedit. It's definitely improved, but reading through I still see places where the prose is less than optimal. I've changed to "weak oppose" because the problems now look to me to be more marginal. I would still recommend a
754:
I think the second half of this paragraph needs some resequencing -- a more chronological sequence would make it easier on the reader. You say the college was established on a tract of land, but in fact both the college and town were established there, and saying that at that point would be
872:-- This has been open almost eight weeks without achieving consensus to promote so I'll be archiving it shortly; it can be renominated after a minimum of two weeks has passed and I suggest following Mike's advice to seek a further copyedit by an uninvolved party during that time. Cheers,
761:
You don't give the date of establishment of Emory
College; the town's date of incorporation is given later, but not the college. Are they the same? It doesn't seem so, because "two years after the chartering" is in 1838, but the town isn't incorporated till
771:"Both Phi Gamma and Few Halls were used as infirmaries for wounded soldiers from 1843 to 1864" implies that it was used for that purpose well before the Civil War; can we be more specific? The only context the article gives is the Civil War.
782:"By the turn of the 20th century, Emory College still remained rooted in Oxford. Nonetheless, Emory College produced several notable graduates during this era." Why "nonetheless"? And what does "rooted" mean here; just "located"?
779:"Prior to the outbreak of war, financial tension had reduced the college's income and student body, and the school briefly closed in the summer of 1861 in anticipation of the American Civil War": redundant mention of the war.
179:
I don't feel like this was ever published, except for being viewable at the Emory
University archives, so I switched the template to PD-old, based on the death of the author plus 100 years. Is this acceptable?
788:"was established as Emory University's unofficial mascot and originated in Oxford in 1901": unless you mean "was originated", which would be less than ideal phrasing, this needs to be reworded.
795:
I'm sure you can fix the points I've raised above, but I think the whole article needs to be copyedited. It's not in terrible shape, but the prose is not yet at FA level, I'm afraid. --
842:
third party copyedit. I see no problems with content or comprehensiveness but haven't done a thorough review with those criteria in mind; I was paying attention mostly to the prose.
163:
File:Oxfordcollegelogo.svg: FUR could be more expansive - in particular the "n.a." [parameters should be filled in, they are at least partially applicable
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775:
This is where I stopped reading in detail. A couple more points chosen at random from later in the article (this is not a complete list of problems):
101:
I would love to see this article become featured status. Thank you all in advance for reviewing and making sure that this article meets the criteria!
173:
File:Oxford_city_plan_(1837).jpg: archival images are often not published near the time of their creation - when/where was this first published?
791:"As of 2012 there were over 50 registered student organizations which cover a variety of interests": tense mismatch between "were" and "cover".
891:
198:
30:
17:
902:
855:
808:
742:"The Conference then granted Ignatius Alphonso Few a charter to establish a college": I don't think "then" means anything here; I'd cut it.
377:
851:
804:
231:
File:IsaacSHopkins.jpg is tagged as lacking author information, without which we cannot conclude that the author died over 70 years ago
75:
551:
Emory is usually wikilinked in citations, but sometimes isn't - either all, none, or first time only, up to you but be consistent
643:
FN66 and 67: suggest either using full "U.S. House of
Representatives" or switching to Congress - help us non-Americans out ;-)
758:
As far as I can tell the
Georgia Conference Manual Labor School was in Covington, but the articles doesn't actually say that.
745:"The new school, Emory College, was first established on tract of land": you don't need "new" and "first"; I'd cut "first".
202:
847:
800:
765:
How can the first act of the new student body by in 1837, when the first class wasn't welcomed till 1838?
670:
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289:
Some of the details in the infobox (for example, the motto) do not appear to be sourced anywhere
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382:
I don't understand how to fix this one. All of the dead links have working archive URLs... --
895:
143:
What about now? I've removed periods from the alt texts and the intramural football team. --
61:
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397:
247:
184:
130:
894:
has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
703:
With the exception of the archived urls showing up in the checklinks tools, everything
311:"Emory College continued to struggle with financial hardships after the war" - source?
748:"This site was chosen because of its relative distance from the city": cut "relative".
913:
873:
53:
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Thank you for your image review. Please let me know if you need anything else! --
909:
768:"remains the oldest structure still remaining": rephrase to avoid two "remain"s.
57:
414:
For page numbers, single pages should use "p." only, multiple pages use "pp."
679:
Not sure, must have something to do with older versions of the article. I've
396:
Sorry, you're right - I thought a couple had been missed but I was mistaken.
707:
be fixed. Thank you again for your very thorough review; I appreciate it! --
295:. I also added sources for the enrollment figures and Dean Stephen Bowen. --
573:
FN45: the link mentions Sodexo, but they don't appear to be the publisher
822:
I will get to work on them soon, as well as do a full copyedit of my own.
183:
Almost: life+100 would be correct, but the tag you've used is life+70.
490:
Some of your web sources (ex. FNs 39 and 40) are missing publishers
434:
Still a few here that are the wrong way round, please double-check.
39:
Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
197:
Oh, whoops, thanks for catching that oversight. I've fixed it. --
121:
Captions that aren't complete sentences shouldn't end in periods
599:
appears to be a publication title and so should be italicized
621:
Compare formatting of FNs 64 and 65 (the latter is correct)
468:
Most web citations include accessdates, but not FN19 - why?
665:
FN70 through 72 suddenly change date formatting - why?
68:
211:
Apologies, forgot to log in on a public computer. --
929:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
246:File:Yun_Chi-ho's_1910's.png needs a US PD tag.
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
935:No further edits should be made to this page.
908:template in place on the talk page until the
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
8:
41:Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates
355:Both FN51 and FN60 do not link anywhere
448:Gotcha. Think I've got them all now. --
18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates
7:
820:Thank you for your comments, Mike!
420:. I didn't know that. Thank you! --
76:Oxford College of Emory University
24:
278:01:07, 15 September 2014 (UTC)
256:01:55, 14 September 2014 (UTC)
221:23:18, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
207:23:17, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
193:02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC)
153:23:22, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
139:02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC)
1:
333:Source for Lamar as alumnus?
111:03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
94:03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
922:12:40, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
882:12:39, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
860:11:15, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
837:04:10, 11 October 2014 (UTC)
541:00:49, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
527:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
458:00:49, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
444:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
406:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
66:12:40, 31 October 2014 (UTC)
903:featured article candidates
813:00:52, 9 October 2014 (UTC)
717:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
693:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
675:03:54, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
659:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
637:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
615:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
589:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
567:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
531:Without the "the". Oops. --
506:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
484:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
430:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
392:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
371:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
349:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
327:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
305:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC)
31:featured article nomination
952:
725:Comments by Mike Christie
932:Please do not modify it.
237:I don't know, so I just
36:Please do not modify it.
285:- spotchecks not done
129:Not quite done yet.
378:Dead external links
515:The Emory Magazine
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870:Closing comment
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888:Closing note
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116:Image review
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730:Weak oppose
667:Nikkimaria
597:Emory Edge
519:Nikkimaria
436:Nikkimaria
398:Nikkimaria
248:Nikkimaria
185:Nikkimaria
131:Nikkimaria
896:WP:FAC/ar
892:candidate
241:the image
914:Ian Rose
890:: This
874:Ian Rose
852:contribs
805:contribs
755:helpful.
681:fixed it
54:Ian Rose
50:archived
856:library
829:haha169
809:library
709:haha169
685:haha169
651:haha169
629:haha169
607:haha169
581:haha169
559:haha169
533:haha169
498:haha169
476:haha169
450:haha169
422:haha169
384:haha169
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297:haha169
270:haha169
239:removed
213:haha169
145:haha169
103:haha169
86:haha169
733:Oppose
705:should
595:FN58:
315:Added'
58:FACBot
762:1839.
16:<
918:talk
878:talk
848:talk
833:talk
825:Done
801:talk
713:talk
689:talk
683:. --
671:talk
655:talk
647:Done
633:talk
625:Done
611:talk
603:Done
585:talk
577:Done
563:talk
555:Done
537:talk
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502:talk
494:Done
480:talk
472:Done
454:talk
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418:Done
402:talk
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359:Done
345:talk
337:Done
323:talk
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293:Done
274:talk
261:Done
252:talk
235:Done
217:talk
203:talk
189:talk
177:Done
167:Done
149:talk
135:talk
125:Done
107:talk
90:talk
62:talk
56:via
910:bot
854:-
807:-
513:or
52:by
920:)
906:}}
900:{{
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