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:Featured article candidates/Oxford College of Emory University/archive1 - Knowledge

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751:"Because the college and town were planned together, many of the town's residents were affiliated to the college. Consequently, the two entities shared a common purpose." I don't understand what "affiliated" means here -- do you mean that most of the town's residents were connected to the college in some way, usually by employment? If so, the second sentence isn't really clear either; what does it mean to say that the town shared the same purpose? I imagine the intended meaning is something like "the town was run in a way that was supportive of the college's goals", but it's not clear. 785:"The campus and the city of Oxford was planned and built in 1837 by Edward Lloyd Thomas ..." We already know the date from the earlier section; it's not unreasonable to separate the campus section in the way you've done here but I don't think this works. At a minimum, avoid duplicating material between the two sections unless it's necessary for flow; and keep the Campus section to current status, with the history in the historical section. 735:, on prose grounds. Some specific points from the first couple of sections are below, and then a couple of items from later in the article to indicate that the problems are throughout. There is a lot of good material here but it needs a pass through from a good writer who is unfamiliar with the material and hence will spot places where the writing is disconnected or out of chronological order. 739:"In 1833 the Georgia Methodist Conference first considered establishing a church-sponsored manual labor school": I'm not sure what "first" means here. Was this the first time they considered establishing a church-sponsored manual labour school? Or the first time they considered establishing a school at all? 841:
Haha169 asked me to take another look at the article after the recent copyedit. It's definitely improved, but reading through I still see places where the prose is less than optimal. I've changed to "weak oppose" because the problems now look to me to be more marginal. I would still recommend a
754:
I think the second half of this paragraph needs some resequencing -- a more chronological sequence would make it easier on the reader. You say the college was established on a tract of land, but in fact both the college and town were established there, and saying that at that point would be
872:-- This has been open almost eight weeks without achieving consensus to promote so I'll be archiving it shortly; it can be renominated after a minimum of two weeks has passed and I suggest following Mike's advice to seek a further copyedit by an uninvolved party during that time. Cheers, 761:
You don't give the date of establishment of Emory College; the town's date of incorporation is given later, but not the college. Are they the same? It doesn't seem so, because "two years after the chartering" is in 1838, but the town isn't incorporated till
771:"Both Phi Gamma and Few Halls were used as infirmaries for wounded soldiers from 1843 to 1864" implies that it was used for that purpose well before the Civil War; can we be more specific? The only context the article gives is the Civil War. 782:"By the turn of the 20th century, Emory College still remained rooted in Oxford. Nonetheless, Emory College produced several notable graduates during this era." Why "nonetheless"? And what does "rooted" mean here; just "located"? 779:"Prior to the outbreak of war, financial tension had reduced the college's income and student body, and the school briefly closed in the summer of 1861 in anticipation of the American Civil War": redundant mention of the war. 179:
I don't feel like this was ever published, except for being viewable at the Emory University archives, so I switched the template to PD-old, based on the death of the author plus 100 years. Is this acceptable?
788:"was established as Emory University's unofficial mascot and originated in Oxford in 1901": unless you mean "was originated", which would be less than ideal phrasing, this needs to be reworded. 795:
I'm sure you can fix the points I've raised above, but I think the whole article needs to be copyedited. It's not in terrible shape, but the prose is not yet at FA level, I'm afraid. --
842:
third party copyedit. I see no problems with content or comprehensiveness but haven't done a thorough review with those criteria in mind; I was paying attention mostly to the prose.
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File:Oxfordcollegelogo.svg: FUR could be more expansive - in particular the "n.a." [parameters should be filled in, they are at least partially applicable
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This is where I stopped reading in detail. A couple more points chosen at random from later in the article (this is not a complete list of problems):
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I would love to see this article become featured status. Thank you all in advance for reviewing and making sure that this article meets the criteria!
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File:Oxford_city_plan_(1837).jpg: archival images are often not published near the time of their creation - when/where was this first published?
791:"As of 2012 there were over 50 registered student organizations which cover a variety of interests": tense mismatch between "were" and "cover". 891: 198: 30: 17: 902: 855: 808: 742:"The Conference then granted Ignatius Alphonso Few a charter to establish a college": I don't think "then" means anything here; I'd cut it. 377: 851: 804: 231:
File:IsaacSHopkins.jpg is tagged as lacking author information, without which we cannot conclude that the author died over 70 years ago
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Emory is usually wikilinked in citations, but sometimes isn't - either all, none, or first time only, up to you but be consistent
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FN66 and 67: suggest either using full "U.S. House of Representatives" or switching to Congress - help us non-Americans out ;-)
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As far as I can tell the Georgia Conference Manual Labor School was in Covington, but the articles doesn't actually say that.
745:"The new school, Emory College, was first established on tract of land": you don't need "new" and "first"; I'd cut "first". 202: 847: 800: 765:
How can the first act of the new student body by in 1837, when the first class wasn't welcomed till 1838?
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Some of the details in the infobox (for example, the motto) do not appear to be sourced anywhere
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I don't understand how to fix this one. All of the dead links have working archive URLs... --
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What about now? I've removed periods from the alt texts and the intramural football team. --
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has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see
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With the exception of the archived urls showing up in the checklinks tools, everything
311:"Emory College continued to struggle with financial hardships after the war" - source? 748:"This site was chosen because of its relative distance from the city": cut "relative". 913: 873: 53: 828: 708: 684: 650: 628: 606: 580: 558: 532: 497: 475: 449: 421: 383: 362: 340: 318: 296: 269: 212: 144: 102: 85: 268:
Thank you for your image review. Please let me know if you need anything else! --
909: 768:"remains the oldest structure still remaining": rephrase to avoid two "remain"s. 57: 414:
For page numbers, single pages should use "p." only, multiple pages use "pp."
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Not sure, must have something to do with older versions of the article. I've
396:
Sorry, you're right - I thought a couple had been missed but I was mistaken.
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be fixed. Thank you again for your very thorough review; I appreciate it! --
295:. I also added sources for the enrollment figures and Dean Stephen Bowen. -- 573:
FN45: the link mentions Sodexo, but they don't appear to be the publisher
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I will get to work on them soon, as well as do a full copyedit of my own.
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Almost: life+100 would be correct, but the tag you've used is life+70.
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Some of your web sources (ex. FNs 39 and 40) are missing publishers
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Still a few here that are the wrong way round, please double-check.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
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Oh, whoops, thanks for catching that oversight. I've fixed it. --
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Captions that aren't complete sentences shouldn't end in periods
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appears to be a publication title and so should be italicized
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Compare formatting of FNs 64 and 65 (the latter is correct)
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Most web citations include accessdates, but not FN19 - why?
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FN70 through 72 suddenly change date formatting - why?
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Apologies, forgot to log in on a public computer. --
929:The above discussion is preserved as an archive. 246:File:Yun_Chi-ho's_1910's.png needs a US PD tag. 43:. No further edits should be made to this page. 935:No further edits should be made to this page. 908:template in place on the talk page until the 29:The following is an archived discussion of a 8: 41:Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates 355:Both FN51 and FN60 do not link anywhere 448:Gotcha. Think I've got them all now. -- 18:Knowledge:Featured article candidates 7: 820:Thank you for your comments, Mike! 420:. I didn't know that. Thank you! -- 76:Oxford College of Emory University 24: 278:01:07, 15 September 2014 (UTC) 256:01:55, 14 September 2014 (UTC) 221:23:18, 25 September 2014 (UTC) 207:23:17, 25 September 2014 (UTC) 193:02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC) 153:23:22, 25 September 2014 (UTC) 139:02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC) 1: 333:Source for Lamar as alumnus? 111:03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC) 94:03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC) 922:12:40, 31 October 2014 (UTC) 882:12:39, 31 October 2014 (UTC) 860:11:15, 22 October 2014 (UTC) 837:04:10, 11 October 2014 (UTC) 541:00:49, 13 October 2014 (UTC) 527:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC) 458:00:49, 13 October 2014 (UTC) 444:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC) 406:19:11, 12 October 2014 (UTC) 66:12:40, 31 October 2014 (UTC) 903:featured article candidates 813:00:52, 9 October 2014 (UTC) 717:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 693:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 675:03:54, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 659:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 637:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 615:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 589:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 567:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 531:Without the "the". Oops. -- 506:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 484:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 430:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 392:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 371:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 349:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 327:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 305:23:56, 7 October 2014 (UTC) 31:featured article nomination 952: 725:Comments by Mike Christie 932:Please do not modify it. 237:I don't know, so I just 36:Please do not modify it. 285:- spotchecks not done 129:Not quite done yet. 378:Dead external links 515:The Emory Magazine 97: 943: 934: 907: 901: 898:, and leave the 82: 48:The article was 38: 951: 950: 946: 945: 944: 942: 941: 940: 939: 930: 905: 899: 870:Closing comment 727: 199:170.140.153.177 79: 34: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 949: 947: 938: 937: 925: 924: 912:goes through. 867: 866: 865: 864: 863: 862: 793: 792: 789: 786: 783: 780: 773: 772: 769: 766: 763: 759: 756: 752: 749: 746: 743: 740: 726: 723: 722: 721: 720: 719: 698: 697: 696: 695: 663: 662: 661: 641: 640: 639: 619: 618: 617: 593: 592: 591: 571: 570: 569: 549: 548: 547: 546: 545: 544: 543: 511:Emory Magazine 488: 487: 486: 466: 465: 464: 463: 462: 461: 460: 412: 411: 410: 409: 408: 375: 374: 373: 353: 352: 351: 331: 330: 329: 309: 308: 307: 266: 265: 264: 263: 244: 243: 242: 229: 228: 227: 226: 225: 224: 223: 209: 171: 170: 169: 161: 160: 159: 158: 157: 156: 155: 99: 98: 84:Nominator(s): 78: 73: 72: 46: 45: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 948: 936: 933: 927: 926: 923: 919: 915: 911: 904: 897: 893: 889: 886: 885: 884: 883: 879: 875: 871: 861: 857: 853: 849: 845: 844:Mike Christie 840: 839: 838: 834: 830: 826: 823: 819: 818: 817: 816: 815: 814: 810: 806: 802: 798: 797:Mike Christie 790: 787: 784: 781: 778: 777: 776: 770: 767: 764: 760: 757: 753: 750: 747: 744: 741: 738: 737: 736: 734: 731: 724: 718: 714: 710: 706: 702: 701: 700: 699: 694: 690: 686: 682: 678: 677: 676: 672: 668: 664: 660: 656: 652: 648: 645: 644: 642: 638: 634: 630: 626: 623: 622: 620: 616: 612: 608: 604: 601: 600: 598: 594: 590: 586: 582: 578: 575: 574: 572: 568: 564: 560: 556: 553: 552: 550: 542: 538: 534: 530: 529: 528: 524: 520: 516: 512: 509: 508: 507: 503: 499: 495: 492: 491: 489: 485: 481: 477: 473: 470: 469: 467: 459: 455: 451: 447: 446: 445: 441: 437: 433: 432: 431: 427: 423: 419: 416: 415: 413: 407: 403: 399: 395: 394: 393: 389: 385: 381: 380: 379: 376: 372: 368: 364: 360: 357: 356: 354: 350: 346: 342: 338: 335: 334: 332: 328: 324: 320: 316: 313: 312: 310: 306: 302: 298: 294: 291: 290: 288: 287: 286: 284: 283:Source review 280: 279: 275: 271: 262: 259: 258: 257: 253: 249: 245: 240: 236: 233: 232: 230: 222: 218: 214: 210: 208: 204: 200: 196: 195: 194: 190: 186: 182: 181: 178: 175: 174: 172: 168: 165: 164: 162: 154: 150: 146: 142: 141: 140: 136: 132: 128: 127: 126: 123: 122: 120: 119: 118: 117: 113: 112: 108: 104: 96: 95: 91: 87: 81: 80: 77: 74: 71: 69: 67: 63: 59: 55: 51: 44: 42: 37: 32: 27: 26: 19: 931: 928: 888:Closing note 887: 869: 868: 824: 821: 794: 774: 732: 729: 728: 704: 680: 646: 624: 602: 596: 576: 554: 514: 510: 493: 471: 417: 358: 336: 314: 292: 282: 281: 267: 260: 238: 234: 176: 166: 124: 116:Image review 115: 114: 100: 83: 49: 47: 35: 28: 730:Weak oppose 667:Nikkimaria 597:Emory Edge 519:Nikkimaria 436:Nikkimaria 398:Nikkimaria 248:Nikkimaria 185:Nikkimaria 131:Nikkimaria 896:WP:FAC/ar 892:candidate 241:the image 914:Ian Rose 890:: This 874:Ian Rose 852:contribs 805:contribs 755:helpful. 681:fixed it 54:Ian Rose 50:archived 856:library 829:haha169 809:library 709:haha169 685:haha169 651:haha169 629:haha169 607:haha169 581:haha169 559:haha169 533:haha169 498:haha169 476:haha169 450:haha169 422:haha169 384:haha169 363:haha169 341:haha169 319:haha169 297:haha169 270:haha169 239:removed 213:haha169 145:haha169 103:haha169 86:haha169 733:Oppose 705:should 595:FN58: 315:Added' 58:FACBot 762:1839. 16:< 918:talk 878:talk 848:talk 833:talk 825:Done 801:talk 713:talk 689:talk 683:. -- 671:talk 655:talk 647:Done 633:talk 625:Done 611:talk 603:Done 585:talk 577:Done 563:talk 555:Done 537:talk 523:talk 502:talk 494:Done 480:talk 472:Done 454:talk 440:talk 426:talk 418:Done 402:talk 388:talk 367:talk 359:Done 345:talk 337:Done 323:talk 301:talk 293:Done 274:talk 261:Done 252:talk 235:Done 217:talk 203:talk 189:talk 177:Done 167:Done 149:talk 135:talk 125:Done 107:talk 90:talk 62:talk 56:via 910:bot 854:- 807:- 513:or 52:by 920:) 906:}} 900:{{ 880:) 858:) 850:- 835:) 827:-- 811:) 803:- 715:) 691:) 673:) 657:) 649:-- 635:) 627:-- 613:) 605:-- 587:) 579:-- 565:) 557:-- 539:) 525:) 517:? 504:) 496:-- 482:) 474:-- 456:) 442:) 428:) 404:) 390:) 369:) 361:-- 347:) 339:-- 325:) 317:-- 303:) 276:) 254:) 219:) 205:) 191:) 151:) 137:) 109:) 92:) 70:. 64:) 33:. 916:( 876:( 846:( 831:( 799:( 711:( 687:( 669:( 653:( 631:( 609:( 583:( 561:( 535:( 521:( 500:( 478:( 452:( 438:( 424:( 400:( 386:( 365:( 343:( 321:( 299:( 272:( 250:( 215:( 201:( 187:( 147:( 133:( 105:( 88:( 60:(

Index

Knowledge:Featured article candidates
featured article nomination
Knowledge talk:Featured article candidates
Ian Rose
FACBot
talk
12:40, 31 October 2014 (UTC)

Oxford College of Emory University
haha169
talk
03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
haha169
talk
03:20, 8 September 2014 (UTC)
Nikkimaria
talk
02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC)
haha169
talk
23:22, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
Nikkimaria
talk
02:42, 24 September 2014 (UTC)
170.140.153.177
talk
23:17, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
haha169
talk
23:18, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

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