163:*Third: in section advance of 23 April... you have this text: "... and made good their escape." This seems jargonish to me, or at least in the realm of colloquial wording. they escaped? or simply and escaped? In another part of the same section: "Temporary repairs were conducted that allowed the ship to steam at 4 knots, but it was decided to take the ship under tow, by the battleship Oldenburg." VERY passive. Possibly: "Although temporary repairs allowed the ship to steam at 4 knots, the Oldenburg took the ship under tow."?
132:
will help me iron out the last few details. I know this article may run into some opposition because it's fairly short (only 14kb, including the infobox et al.), but remember that size is not a requirement to FAC, comprehensiveness, and this article is pretty solid in that regard. Thanks in advance to all reviewers.
927:
only served for two years. The only possible problem I see is in the lead; do you have/need a citation for "named in honor of Field
Marshal Paul von Hindenburg, the victor of the Battle of Tannenberg and the Battle of the Masurian Lakes, as well as Supreme Commander of the German armies from 1916."?
260:
Although this is a short article, it is line with the requirements of the featured articles. It is well written, interesting, informative, and represents a neutral point of view. It covers the "state-of-knowledge" as we know it about this type of warship and this particular ship. It is part of a
166:
In the next section: " The plan consisted of two simultaneous ..." "The plan called for..." In two simultaneous attacks, the fleet would..." Â ??? I wonder if "Later operations" might better be called something else. Perhaps
Proposed death ride, or ...? Just idle wondering here. You realize, of
131:
was only in commission for little more than a year and a half before she was interned at Scapa Flow and scuttled. This article passed GA and MILHIST A-class review over the past two months, and is part of a Good Topic. I feel the article is close to FA criteria, and the reviews that will occur here
239:
is a bit mundane, so I'm thinking we might come up with something more in the central--that's me, the middle of the road, with all the road kill. As to the dates, Tony posted that it was "consider" but not "required"... I was suggesting that it only go between the loose numbers and the next word
210:
for advice. There is alt text for the schematics image, so I don't know why it isn't showing up for you. I fixed the two prose issues you pointed out in the third comment. As to the "Later operations" part, I think "Proposed death ride" is a bit dramatic :) I'd be open to other suggestions though
1078:
Hmm...I usually prefer to keep images at the default size. There are many editors (such as myself) who have set preference sizes, and I'd rather not force someone with a 13" monitor to see everything at 300px. The way I see it, if someone feels the image is too small, can't they just click the
1038:
use
American spellings because it participated in the attack on Pearl Harbor or should it use British spellings because it took part in the raid into the Indian ocean in 1942, during which it sank several Commonwealth ships? That and trying to remember all the variations is a hassle I can do
1001:"On 12 December, four German destroyers ambushed a second convoy consisting of five cargo vessels and two British destroyers." Unsure, but can this be "On 12 December, four German destroyers ambushed a second British convoy of five cargo vessels and two British destroyers."? (Two changes.)
553:"were acting as distant support for German minesweepers off the German coast when they were attacked by British battlecruisers" is ambiguous. Clarify that it was the minesweepers which were attacked. Is it known which British battlecruisers were involved?
419:
and look up your book title. Make sure you find the same edition that you used in the article; and scroll down to the detail section. The number is listed there. If you put in your zip code it will show what libraries nearest you have a copy.
150:. This is a very good article. I reviewed it at the Good Article stage, and it has improved in the intervening weeks. There are a couple of issues that weren't worth bringing up at Good article review but should be brought up here.
952:
I hadn't thought of that, but I'm sure there are plenty of biographies of
Hindenburg around, so I can track down a citation for that. It'll have to wait until tomorrow though. Thanks for copyediting the article, Ed.
692:"It was later discovered that the convoy had sailed the following day" seems awkward how about "It was later discovered that the convoy had left port a day later than expected by the German planning staff".
91:
154:
First: I've been told that the nbsp syntax needs to be inserted after all "loose" numbers (numbers without something after them). If this is the case, you'll need to add it with your dates.
207:
1034:
I'd say it's a bit of a stretch to say a German warship has "strong national ties" to
British English, on the basis that the ship fought the Royal Navy. For instance, should
261:
larger series of ship articles the editor is working on, each of which also demonstrate care to quality, prose, research, authentication, and all around good scholarship.
883:
I added a "for further information" link at the top of the section; I don't want to duplicate too much in this article, besides what set her apart from her sisterships.
40:
240:(the month, usually). Someone made me do that for Unification of Germany, which was a REAL pain (that is a long article) so now I'm doing it on everything.
977:
First section opens: "Built ... Built." Maybe the second one could simply be removed? Or a replacement word such as "Designed" or "Conceived" or "Planned"?
189:
Another example of some fine work. Very nice. A pleasure to read, even for someone not particularly versed in the finer points of nautical warfare.
30:
17:
778:"The massive flotilla consisted of some 370 British, American, and French warships." What about the German ones? How many of those were there?
1057:
1056:
We couldn't have a larger pic of the scuttling, could we? It's widely felt that WP's thumbnail default is outrageously tiny. Please see
574:"Six days later," suggests that this sentence and the previous one are causally linked in some way although there appears to none.
540:
I think most readers would think "action" to be synonymous with "combat", so it might be worth modifying - perhaps to "operation"
496:
Why was she faster than the earlier ships and by how much? Was the steaming speed, a sustained speed or a maximum, short sprint?
1106:
1088:
1073:
1035:
962:
947:
910:
876:
429:
400:
374:
348:
330:
303:
285:
270:
249:
220:
198:
141:
82:
875:
There seems to be a shortage of technical detail in the prose. Perhaps précis some of the more important information from the
941:
393:
367:
107:
816:
Groner's doesn't give dates, he just states "Several unsuccessful attempts were made to raiser her, and a successful..."
469:
To save looking at the infobox, suggest you state how many of the SK L/45 guns she had rather than just "two more" than
167:
course, that these are minuscule suggestions, well, perhaps the first one is part of the MOS requirements and therefore
508:- the steaming speed was a sustainable rate (remember, the ship could steam at 26.6 knots, which would be the "sprint")
112:
318:
Would it be better to eliminate the "Service" section making WWI a second level and change the others to third level?
973:
Very nice work again by
Legolas. The prose is excellent, the stories engaging and the linking skilfully handled.
985:"British naval intelligence believed"—were they correct or incorrect in that belief? I guess we find out later.
802:"maneuvers" should be "manoeuvres" for consistency with other British spellings and European setting of article.
449:
Formatting of "Drh.L C/1912" and "DrhLC/1913" is inconsistent. It's also presented as "DrhLC/1912" in Note 2.
674:
266:
245:
194:
615:
really notable at all? Apart from Moltke losing a propeller and suffering damage nothing much happened!
1084:
958:
906:
837:
344:
216:
137:
78:
1012:"roadstead": I had to look it up. Consider a Wiktionary link or a wikilink if there's an article?
1102:
935:
387:
361:
336:
300:
490:
the design was altered, but I have added the specific measurements for length and displacement.
206:
Thanks, Auntieruth. I've never heard of using non-breaking spaces for dates before, so I asked
586:
425:
335:
Thanks, I fixed the first two things you pointed out, but I don't know much about OCLCs, so I
326:
262:
241:
190:
619:
I'd say it's notable in that it was the only offensive operation in which the ship took part.
823:
459:
Perhaps explain why the higher angle of inclination of the later turrets gave greater range.
281:
1068:
1080:
954:
902:
768:
Suggest you provide a {{main article|Scuttling of the German fleet in Scapa Flow}} link
340:
212:
133:
74:
64:
1098:
930:
732:
635:
Do we know which German and
British Destroyers were involved in December 1917 action?
381:
355:
296:
160:
there alt text on the schematics? or is there simply not a caption of the schematics?
53:
1009:
I guess "the fleet" and the "Grand Fleet" are clear in the reader's mind throughout.
592:
421:
322:
321:
You need to complete the OCLC numbers on your reference books. Some are missing. --
923:. It may look short to the casual reader, but in my opinion it is extremely long—
533:
action" . From the following sections it does not sound as if she saw any action.
463:
I added a note explaining that angle of fire and range are directly proportional.
666:
277:
1061:
659:
I added "numerically superior" to qualify the Grand Fleet; is that sufficient?
749:. Did she stay in Wilhelmshaven when the fleet was dispersed or go elsewhere.
315:
You need convert templates on knots (mph and kph) and the 25000 tons of coal.
156:*Second: It doesn't look like the alt text on the schematics is showing up.
1015:
789:
537:
I meant "action" as in any activity, not just combat. Should I change that?
682:"kilometers" should be "kilometres" for consistency with metres in infobox.
889:
Were any of the officers or crew notable? Do we know who the captain was?
988:
Turns out it was due to labor shortages; I've added this to the article.
519:
There's a degree of repetition with the previous section on dates here.
625:
Do we know which
British destroyers were sunk in the October action?
39:
Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in
850:
13 and 16 reference the same page in Massie and should be combined.
655:
Explain why the
Germany navy had been waiting for this opportunity.
482:
Why was she slightly larger than the earlier ships and by how much?
295:- sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool.
1079:
thumbnail to see the larger version? This isn't print, after all.
686:
The article uses
American English, the infobox has been corrected.
412:
1023:
Check my "strike", to avoid the close repetition of "attack".
235:
is a bit dramatic, but those were dramatic times. However,
416:
757:
Hindenburg, and Massie doesn't say which ships went where.
117:
745:
Does not mention if there was any mutiny or sabotage on
179:
no disambiguous links using the link checker checks out.
1031:
Should this be in US English? "harbor". Just checking.
920:
57:
645:"December 12" should be "12 December" for consistency.
993:
I inserted "the standard" on a hunch; please check.
1018:
is linked in the "Advance of 23 April 1918" section
92:
Featured article candidates/SMS Hindenburg/archive1
772:Missed this one last night, but I've added it now.
753:Herwig's book mentions disruption on all four BCs
1112:The above discussion is preserved as an archive.
865:Did she actually participate in any engagements?
707:Section would be more appropriately title later
41:Knowledge (XXG) talk:Featured article candidates
543:Fair enough. I've substituted that for "action"
43:. No further edits should be made to this page.
1118:No further edits should be made to this page.
29:The following is an archived discussion of a
8:
1058:Beginners'_guide_to_the_Manual_of_Style#Size
721:"On 11 August" is presumably 11 August 1918.
185:these also check out using the link checker.
18:Knowledge (XXG):Featured article candidates
127:The last German battlecruiser ever built,
96:
415:numbers aren't difficult to find. Go to
1097:Tony, I think you meant "Parsecboy"...
99:
89:
806:See above re: "kilometers/kilometres."
7:
822:Link Admiral Fremantle in note 5 to
812:When were the raising attempts made?
24:
1036:Japanese aircraft carrier Akagi
877:Derfflinger class battlecruiser
1107:18:02, 26 September 2009 (UTC)
1089:14:02, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
1074:09:40, 26 September 2009 (UTC)
963:01:35, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
948:01:27, 23 September 2009 (UTC)
911:23:18, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
869:The ship saw no actual combat.
486:I haven't seen anything about
430:18:13, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
401:00:51, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
375:00:47, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
349:00:31, 16 September 2009 (UTC)
331:21:24, 15 September 2009 (UTC)
304:17:47, 11 September 2009 (UTC)
1:
286:09:49, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
271:15:54, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
250:15:52, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
221:00:30, 9 September 2009 (UTC)
199:22:31, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
142:21:55, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
83:21:55, 8 September 2009 (UTC)
529:"albeit too late to see any
500:I added specific speeds for
31:featured article nomination
1135:
1004:Substituted your version.
639:Nope, Massie doesn't say.
607:Advance of 23 April 1918
379:OCLC's have been added. —
56:21:07, 27 September 2009
1115:Please do not modify it.
629:Yes, they've been added.
276:Image check: No issues.
36:Please do not modify it.
980:Changed to "Designed."
675:dreadnought battleship
568:were the BCs involved.
337:asked someone who does
893:Not that I know of.
838:German Federal Navy
233:proposed death ride
611:Is this action by
1026:Looks fine to me.
919:after very minor
703:Later operations
398:
372:
125:
124:
86:
1126:
1117:
1071:
1066:
946:
944:
938:
933:
824:Sydney Fremantle
399:
396:
390:
386:
384:
373:
370:
364:
360:
358:
237:Later operations
97:
71:
48:The article was
38:
1134:
1133:
1129:
1128:
1127:
1125:
1124:
1123:
1122:
1113:
1069:
1062:
1048:the deadline"?
942:
936:
931:
929:
394:
388:
382:
380:
368:
362:
356:
354:
211:(from anyone).
68:
34:
22:
21:
20:
12:
11:
5:
1132:
1130:
1121:
1120:
1109:
1094:
1093:
1092:
1091:
1054:
1053:
1052:
1042:
1041:
1040:
1029:
1028:
1027:
1021:
1020:
1019:
1010:
1007:
1006:
1005:
999:
998:
997:
991:
990:
989:
983:
982:
981:
968:
967:
966:
965:
899:
898:
897:
896:
895:
894:
886:
885:
884:
872:
871:
870:
859:
858:
857:
856:
855:
844:
843:
842:
833:
832:
831:
819:
818:
817:
809:
808:
807:
799:
798:
797:
785:
784:
783:
775:
774:
773:
762:
761:
760:
759:
758:
742:
741:
740:
728:
727:
726:
718:
717:
716:
701:
700:
699:
698:
697:
689:
688:
687:
679:
678:
677:
662:
661:
660:
652:
651:
650:
642:
641:
640:
632:
631:
630:
622:
621:
620:
605:
604:
603:
602:
601:
584:Could link to
581:
580:
579:
571:
570:
569:
550:
549:
548:
547:
546:
545:
544:
526:
525:
524:
513:
512:
511:
510:
509:
493:
492:
491:
479:
478:
477:
466:
465:
464:
456:
455:
454:
437:
436:
435:
434:
433:
432:
405:
404:
403:
319:
316:
307:
306:
289:
288:
255:
254:
253:
252:
226:
225:
224:
223:
187:
186:
183:external links
180:
152:
151:
123:
122:
121:
120:
118:External links
115:
110:
102:
101:
95:
94:
88:
87:
73:Nominator(s):
67:
65:SMS Hindenburg
62:
61:
46:
45:
25:
23:
15:
14:
13:
10:
9:
6:
4:
3:
2:
1131:
1119:
1116:
1110:
1108:
1104:
1100:
1096:
1095:
1090:
1086:
1082:
1077:
1076:
1075:
1072:
1067:
1065:
1059:
1055:
1050:
1049:
1047:
1043:
1037:
1033:
1032:
1030:
1025:
1024:
1022:
1017:
1014:
1013:
1011:
1008:
1003:
1002:
1000:
995:
994:
992:
987:
986:
984:
979:
978:
976:
975:
974:
972:
964:
960:
956:
951:
950:
949:
945:
939:
934:
926:
922:
918:
915:
914:
913:
912:
908:
904:
892:
891:
890:
887:
882:
881:
880:
878:
873:
868:
867:
866:
863:
862:
860:
853:
852:
851:
848:
847:
845:
841:
839:
834:
829:
828:
827:
825:
820:
815:
814:
813:
810:
805:
804:
803:
800:
795:
794:
793:
791:
786:
781:
780:
779:
776:
771:
770:
769:
766:
765:
763:
756:
752:
751:
750:
748:
743:
738:
737:
736:
734:
733:Wilhelmshaven
729:
724:
723:
722:
719:
714:
713:
712:
710:
705:
704:
702:
695:
694:
693:
690:
685:
684:
683:
680:
676:
672:
671:
670:
668:
663:
658:
657:
656:
653:
648:
647:
646:
643:
638:
637:
636:
633:
628:
627:
626:
623:
618:
617:
616:
614:
609:
608:
606:
599:
598:
597:
596:on first use.
595:
594:
589:
588:
582:
577:
576:
575:
572:
567:
563:
559:
556:
555:
554:
551:
542:
541:
539:
538:
536:
535:
534:
532:
527:
522:
521:
520:
517:
516:
514:
507:
503:
499:
498:
497:
494:
489:
485:
484:
483:
480:
475:
474:
473:
472:
467:
462:
461:
460:
457:
452:
451:
450:
447:
446:
445:Construction
444:
443:
442:
441:
431:
427:
423:
418:
414:
410:
406:
402:
397:
391:
385:
378:
377:
376:
371:
365:
359:
352:
351:
350:
346:
342:
338:
334:
333:
332:
328:
324:
320:
317:
314:
313:
312:
311:
305:
302:
298:
294:
291:
290:
287:
283:
279:
275:
274:
273:
272:
268:
264:
259:
251:
247:
243:
238:
234:
230:
229:
228:
227:
222:
218:
214:
209:
205:
204:
203:
202:
201:
200:
196:
192:
184:
181:
178:
175:
174:
173:
172:
170:
164:
161:
159:
149:
146:
145:
144:
143:
139:
135:
130:
119:
116:
114:
111:
109:
106:
105:
104:
103:
98:
93:
90:
85:
84:
80:
76:
70:
69:
66:
63:
60:
58:
55:
51:
44:
42:
37:
32:
27:
26:
19:
1114:
1111:
1063:
1045:
996:That's fine.
971:Support, 1a.
970:
969:
924:
916:
900:
888:
874:
864:
849:
835:
821:
811:
801:
787:
777:
767:
754:
746:
744:
730:
720:
708:
706:
691:
681:
664:
654:
644:
634:
624:
612:
610:
591:
585:
583:
573:
565:
561:
557:
552:
530:
528:
518:
515:World War I
505:
501:
495:
487:
481:
470:
468:
458:
448:
439:
438:
408:
309:
308:
292:
263:Auntieruth55
257:
256:
242:Auntieruth55
236:
232:
191:Auntieruth55
188:
182:
176:
171:minuscule...
168:
165:
162:
157:
155:
153:
147:
128:
126:
113:Citation bot
72:
49:
47:
35:
28:
711:operations.
667:dreadnought
506:Derfflinger
471:Derfflinger
1039:without :)
925:Hindenburg
846:Footnotes
747:Hindenburg
673:linked to
613:Hindenburg
562:Courageous
502:Hindenburg
353:Doing... —
129:Hindenburg
1081:Parsecboy
1046:which was
1016:Roadstead
955:Parsecboy
943:contribs)
921:copyedits
903:DavidCane
790:scuttling
417:World Cat
395:Contribs)
369:Contribs)
341:Parsecboy
231:ah, yes,
213:Parsecboy
134:Parsecboy
75:Parsecboy
1099:Dabomb87
879:article.
861:General
836:Link to
788:Link to
731:Link to
665:Explain
593:Seydlitz
566:Glorious
440:Comments
310:Comments
297:Ealdgyth
293:Comments
108:Analysis
54:Karanacs
50:promoted
917:Support
709:planned
558:Repulse
409:support
258:SUPPORT
148:Comment
100:Toolbox
1070:(talk)
1051:Fixed.
854:Fixed.
830:Fixed.
796:Fixed.
782:Fixed.
755:except
739:Fixed.
725:Fixed.
715:Fixed.
696:Fixed.
649:Fixed.
600:Fixed.
587:Moltke
578:Fixed.
564:, and
523:Fixed.
476:Fixed.
453:Fixed.
278:Stifle
937:(talk
764:Fate
531:major
389:(Talk
363:(Talk
16:<
1103:talk
1085:talk
1064:Tony
959:talk
907:talk
590:and
504:and
426:talk
422:Brad
413:OCLC
345:talk
327:talk
323:Brad
301:Talk
282:talk
267:talk
246:talk
217:talk
208:here
195:talk
177:dabs
138:talk
79:talk
488:why
407:ok
169:not
52:by
1105:)
1087:)
1060:.
961:)
940:•
932:Ed
909:)
901:--
560:,
428:)
420:--
411:.
392:•
383:Ed
366:•
357:Ed
347:)
339:.
329:)
299:-
284:)
269:)
248:)
219:)
197:)
158:Is
140:)
81:)
59:.
33:.
1101:(
1083:(
1044:"
957:(
928:—
905:(
840:.
826:.
792:.
735:.
669:.
424:(
343:(
325:(
280:(
265:(
244:(
215:(
193:(
136:(
77:(
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.