316:, a source I regard as invaluable, and claims superiority to the Autosport Live source you used extensively on two fronts: it is written retrospectively and is thus more reliable for real information, and it gets its laps right, which the Live source often fails to do. But you should use both, together, along with the BBC source which takes a little bit to find, they form a great collection of information with which you distil the race.
230:, that you rely far too much on block quotes to do the talking for you in the post race section. I'll use them, but with the exception of the box I'll introduce them and certainly won't use more than two in the section, certainly not as long as what we have here. An introduction of "Massa also said" is startlingly superficial, and doesn't really make me want to keep reading. More prose percentage, please.
410:
I found both
Fisichella and Nakajima commenting on their collision, but Fisichella blamed Bourdais. Bourdais, however, said nothing about it - at least, not on GrandPrix.com, BBC Sport, or Autosport.com. I was trying to let readers know that Bourdais did not say anything, rather than them supposing
176:
The first big thing that jumps out at me is the size of the practice coverage. Three massive paragraphs dealing with the most inconsequential part of on-track activity at a GP weekend seems a little much, and should really be reduced to just who were quickest and who crashed or got penalties. It is
783:
Massa crossed the line to win the race, with
Hamilton 3.779 seconds behind, and Räikkönen a further half-second behind. Robert Kubica, Nick Heidfeld, Fernando Alonso, Mark Webber and Nico Rosberg filled the remaining points-scoring positions, whilst Kovalainen could only recover to twelfth place
765:
Massa claimed pole and Räikkönen fourth, the two
Ferrari cars sandwiching the McLarens of Heikki Kovalainen and Hamilton in second and third respectively. In fourth was Massa's teammate, Räikkönen. At the first corner Räikkönen clipped Kovalainen's rear tyre and gave him a puncture. This forced
644:
Umm... well, according to Franz Tost (found on GrandPrix.com) "...Bourdais had a problem at Turn 12, which the data reveals as a technical failure that we will now investigate." I don't think, however, that any Toro Rosso people told the public what they investiaged (as far as I know anyway).
177:
worth bearing in mind we don't know what the teams are doing in practice, many run race simulations, carrying more fuel and are thus slower (as BMW generally do) than those who practice hot laps (Williams are notorious at doing this), all of which makes practice almost irrelevant.
687:
I have now put that on both the classification table and the race. Does the classification table need a ref for it or not? Just thinking that most tables don't, but the rear suspension failure isn't mentioned anywhere else. Also, does it need to be put in the post-race section?
709:
Put the ref next to the other one down the bottom of the table. In Post-race, I think you can have "Something broke at the back of the car ... Going into turn 12, I braked at the usual point and the car went sideways, I felt the right rear corner of the car drop and it spun me
768:
Also on the first lap, Force India's
Giancarlo Fisichella braked too late and slammed into the back of Williams driver Kazuki Nakajima with sufficent force to launch his car into an airborne flight over Nakjima. Both cars retired as a result of the
373:
I'd avoid having single sentence paragraphs, as with Massa's in the
Background section. Is there anything you can merge it into? Having said that, I think the fact would be better worked into Post-race, seeing managed to make it three consecutive
779:, was faster than Massa due to carrying a lighter fuel load and overtook him on lap 24. However, after Hamilton had made his third pit stop, he rejoined in second behind Massa but in front of the Championship leader, Räikkönen.
320:
I think you could have gone a little over the top here. For any of those facts with two cites, are there any that you can cut down to one? If one source has the facts you are referencing, you don't need two.
910:
34:
77:
496:
I've deleted a bit. We don't really need the drivers congratulating his team if we can help it, all the drivers do it so it doesn't really add much to the article.
493:
I've deleted one sentence. I'm not sure whether anything else can be deleted without affecting other parts of the quote. Would you get rid of any of what's there?
431:
I would say so. We really don't have any idea whether he said anything at all, he could even have commented in French, which would make it a lot harder to find.
73:
110:
489:
I reckon you should cut down the Post-race quotebox a little, it's almost entering the realm of copying to much from sources (there's a policy somewhere...)
406:"Bourdais failed to comment on the incident." Does this mean he failed to comment or that you failed to find him commenting? If the former, it needs a cite.
58:
744:
a big lead! It looks like Diniz did a bit of expansion work on it, but now it looks a little long. Do we really need that much race detail in the lead?
305:
The external links section needs fixing. The ManipeF1 link shouldn't be there and the FIA link needs to be renamed, and doesn't link to the FIA anyway.
121:
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to know what needs to be done to get this article to GA-standard. I am doing this as part of
50:
775:, but only remained out for one lap. During the course of the race, Hamilton, intending to make one more pit stop than both Ferrari drivers
514:
I quite liked the sentence from
Hamilton saying that he was looking forward to the Monaco Grand Prix, is it possible to have this back in?
399:
You could probably cut the bit in Ron Dennis' quote about
Hamilton's points, you talk about it later so the repetition isn't necessary.
791:
OK. I'm just thinking that when it makes portal I'll have to cut it down the 200 words, and that looks pretty daunting at the moment.
456:
Quick non-binding question, why are you using the quotebox in P&Q for a Friday quote, wouldn't a
Saturday quote be more pertinent?
915:
313:
164:
636:"Bourdais commented on his retirement: "Something broke at the back of the car, I don't know what it was yet."" Do we know now?
171:
If you don't mind, I'll add comments as they occur to me, and a 'full' review will probably take me about a week to complete.
411:
that the article doesn't contain what
Bourdais said. I suppose the best thing to do is to get rid of that sentence, right?
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That's fine. A longish lead shouldn't get you caught out at GAN, but I always like to err on the side of caution.
129:
project. Anything you can spot wrong in the article (and I'm sure there are lots of mistakes!) I want to know!
17:
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Might be a good idea (though
Bourdais may object) to mention why Toro Rosso didn't have enough spare parts.
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after a collision between Force India's Giancarlo Fisichella and Williams driver Kazuki Nakajima
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Raikkonen said that, "We chose to use the front wing as it takes too long to change it"
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I think you can also make some of those sentences your own words, for example
339:
I have cut most of the double references, apart from three which are needed.
388:
What were Super Aguri's financial troubles? (I gave a brief summary in the
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Kovalainen to make a pit stop, dropping him to the back of the field.
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The best I could find (even Autocourse is lacking) is f1.com which
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I think (although I'm not sure either) that "spun off" is correct.
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Sure. Add it in (with an introduction) next to Ron Dennis' quote.
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could be worded your own way (and Raikkonen should be Räikkönen).
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The top three would remain like this for the rest of the race.
366:{{reflist|2}}, please, you notice the difference with Firefox.
878:
Note my point way above about the use of double references.
740:
I'm just looking at it now, and I'm thinking, wow, is that
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I'd prefer it a little shorter, but that's probably fine.
105:
review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
92:
85:
54:
847:
I have now changed the lead to what is shown above.
585:
Is "span off" correct English? I'm not really sure.
911:Peer review pages with semiautomated peer reviews
464:I have used a post-qualifying quote from Massa.
226:I think, and this is a concern left over from
8:
118:This peer review discussion has been closed.
777:due to concerns over his rate of tyre wear
101:A script has been used to generate a semi-
552:I have now added it, worded my own way.
312:I'm quite surprised you didn't use the
7:
669:it was a rear suspension failure.
24:
109:style; it can be found on the
1:
771:The safety car was deployed
18:Knowledge (XXG):Peer review
932:
250:07:13, 25 April 2009 (UTC)
197:12:37, 25 April 2009 (UTC)
148:16:47, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
111:automated peer review page
863:07:44, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
843:01:51, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
916:April 2009 peer reviews
897:01:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
825:12:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
805:09:48, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
759:01:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
725:09:48, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
704:07:38, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
683:01:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
661:16:31, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
620:17:48, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
600:09:59, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
568:12:57, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
548:09:48, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
530:07:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
510:01:06, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
480:16:23, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
445:01:18, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
427:12:49, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
390:2008 Spanish Grand Prix
355:07:49, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
335:09:59, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
292:12:25, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
272:06:53, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
215:06:53, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
28:2008 Turkish Grand Prix
786:
784:after his early delay.
234:How does it look now?
228:2008 German Grand Prix
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809:How does that look?
36:Previous peer review
93:Watch peer review
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883:'Snuff for now.
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629:Who are the FIA?
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113:for April 2009.
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314:FIA race facts
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127:My Insane Idea
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813:Darth Newdar
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185:Darth Newdar
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153:Review from
136:Darth Newdar
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68:Article talk
67:
63:
44:
35:
27:
55:visual edit
905:Categories
769:collision.
374:victories.
155:Apterygial
123:Apterygial
392:article).
103:automated
181:Better?
165:contribs
132:Thanks,
710:round."
78:history
59:history
45:Article
887:Aptery
858:(talk)
833:Aptery
820:(talk)
795:Aptery
749:Aptery
715:Aptery
699:(talk)
673:Aptery
656:(talk)
615:(talk)
590:Aptery
563:(talk)
538:Aptery
525:(talk)
500:Aptery
475:(talk)
435:Aptery
422:(talk)
350:(talk)
325:Aptery
287:(talk)
276:Done.
262:Aptery
245:(talk)
205:Aptery
192:(talk)
143:(talk)
107:house
87:Watch
16:<
892:gial
838:gial
800:gial
754:gial
742:that
720:gial
678:gial
667:says
595:gial
543:gial
505:gial
440:gial
330:gial
267:gial
210:gial
159:talk
74:edit
51:edit
125:'s
907::
91:•
76:|
57:|
53:|
167:)
162:·
157:(
83:·
80:)
72:(
64:·
61:)
49:(
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