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as the exchange rates can vary significantly) and noting the conversion as approximate, with at least the year given as a rough point of conversion rate reference; e.g., Since 2001 the grant has been 10,000,000 Swedish kronor (approx. US$ 1.4M, €1.0M, or £800k as of August 2009), not (US$ 1,390,570, €971,673 or £848,646).
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Conversions of less familiar currencies may be provided in terms of more familiar currencies, such as the US dollar, euro or pound sterling. Conversions should be in parentheses after the original currency, rounding to avoid excess or false precision (one or two significant digits are usually enough,
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The first sentence needs some punctuation, minimally a comma after "Mount Makiling". Personally I would favour a reconstruction, along the lines: "The campus was established in 1909 on 72.63 ha (179.5 acres) of abandoned farmland at the foot of Mount Makiling, purchased by the University of the
159: 264:"Del De Guzman of the 2nd district of Makati filed HB 1143.." Please expand on this (presumably) legal or parliamentary process. Also, you need to follow through. The bill was opposed by UPLB; did it pass? Is it still pending after 3 years? 126: 353:
I have not checked these out individually, but glancing through, it looks as though a high proportion of these are to sources published by or connected to the university. This could lead to questions about the neutrality of the
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Thank you for help. I striked out those I think I've addressed. Carillon link? I don't think it's appropriate since its a proper name. How do I signal change of topic in another way? Sorry I'm no expert in English.
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I've listed this article for peer review because I am interested in helping it become a featured article. I am very well aware of the 14-day clause, and it's only about 12 days since I've withdrawn the article from
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I hope these points are helpful. As I am unable to watch individual peer reviews, please contact me via my talkpage if you want to raise any issues from this review or if you would like me to take another look..
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have done the copy-editing. I am submitting this two days early because I don't really expect much major editing work to happen in the next two days. In short, to save time. I wish you'd consider on this one.
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There still seems to be rather a lot of unexplained initials, e.g. in "The University Library is a periodic recipient of publications from the United Nations agencies (namely the UNFAO, UN-HABITAT, and
256:"MFR" acronym introduced without previous explanation. There is a tendency towards overuse of acronyms; later in this section we have "NAPOCOR" with a link to another article to find out what this is. 115: 217:
Philippines (UP) Board of Regents to serve as the campus of the newly-created UP College of Agriculture (UPCA)". This highlights the original year, and does away with "initially".
241:"(believed to the "largest and best equipped in the eastern hemisphere" at the time it was constructed)"; Who "believed" this? The citation is to the institution's own website. 92: 162:
have noted stylistic/prose problems. Not really my expertise. I have mostly addressed technical problems in the FAC. I've submitted it to the Guild of Copy Editors, and
297:"National Artist for Architecture Leandro Locsin..." is an ugly formulation. Try "designed by Leandro Locisin, a National Artist for Architecture known for his..." etc. 560: 538: 512: 465: 451: 432: 418: 404: 368: 334:"A walkout was staged by around 500 students, with students citing the lack of community consultation..." The "students, with students..." phrasing is awkward. 179: 280:"Numerous parties have expressed interest in developing the land grants" - developing for what purposes? Housing, commercial, agricutural, recreational etc? 76: 292:
You should drop the bullet-point format and reconstruct the section in straight prose. Also, per MOS, bolding should not be used for emphasis in the text.
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I expect that an article will be created later on. PhilHealth is a government health care agency so it's a notable topic. Same case for other redlinks.
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As we are now nearly halfway through 2011, I would expect to find more up-to-date statistics than the 2008 enrollment figures and "As of 2007..."
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says its allowable for definition lists. Regardless, I'll convert it to prose. I'll also do more research on Rep. Del's bill and its aftermath.
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As for the "most advanced in the eastern hemisphere" claim, I'll reword it. I can't seem to find any info on it aside from university sources.
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comments: Commendable GA-standard work, but more needs to be done if the article is to reach FA. Here are some specific points for attention.
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But since the article presents many monetary values, and thus would need many (approx #### as of month year), I made it as a footnote.
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General: The feel of this section seems somewhat towards the promotional rather than to the required neutral/encyclopedic tone.
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Ref 12 fixed. No other problems found. Unfortunately, the Commission on Audit is still not releasing its audit report for
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Don't these initials stand for themselves? Like US? They really have very long names that's why I didn't expand them.
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THe change of topic in the second paragraph needs to be signalled by more than a wikilink on "congregations".
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Did the acquisitions of 940 acres and 646.8 acres mean three different campuses, or were they all adjoining?
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The article has been considerably improved since ny last reading. A few points still need some attention:-
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I'll try searching for the figures. They are kind of hard since UPLB doesn't periodically release them.
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are useless; they don't tell us what this body is, and it is not explained elsewhere in the article.
375: 552: 530: 504: 457: 443: 424: 410: 396: 360: 171: 158:. However, as with all rules, I don't think this is set in stone. (Correct me if I'm wrong). 342:
The "among others" at the end of the penultimate sentence is clumsy and needs to be dropped.
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Can you include a sentence that explains who makes these grants? Is it the government?
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I'm sorry that my time has been limited. Overall this looks an informative article.
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What is the basis of conversion to US$ that you are using? Ref 4 is uninformative.
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Some reference formatting needs further attention, e.g. Ref 12 - check for others.
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Acts don't of themeseves appropriate, they authorize appropriation by others.
260:"via Republic Act 6967" is too telegraphic. Perhaps "under the terms of..."? 252:
Try to avoid repetition such as: "...the upper campus. The upper campus..."
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Mixture of tenses, present, past and future: "As this part of the campus
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We still seem stuck with out of date enrolment and library figures.
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I'll start addressing those concerns, and post here when I'm done.
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The Tagalog explanation should cover both the right and left terms
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You must specify your source in the currency conversion footnote
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The lands that UPLB got by Act 2730 adjoin the original campus.
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there is also over-detailing; e.g the number of lampposts
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State Universities and Colleges for fiscal year 2010
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the destination of many passengers, jeepney drivers
28:Campus of University of the Philippines Los Baños 329:in a loss of ₱200–300 (US$ 5–7)..." Standardize. 381: 70: 8: 150:This peer review discussion has been closed. 374:I used Yahoo! Finance for the conversion. 77: 63: 32: 237:"during this period" - be more precise. 35: 232:Give dates for the Japanese occupation 7: 551:. As for the library data, no luck. 24: 301:"Carillon" could use a wikilink 1: 423:MFR was defined in the lead. 306:Transportation and amenities 596: 561:03:08, 12 June 2011 (UTC) 539:02:45, 12 June 2011 (UTC) 513:18:42, 11 June 2011 (UTC) 466:10:58, 1 June 2011 (UTC) 452:06:23, 1 June 2011 (UTC) 433:06:07, 1 June 2011 (UTC) 419:06:00, 1 June 2011 (UTC) 405:05:51, 1 June 2011 (UTC) 369:18:17, 30 May 2011 (UTC) 180:03:22, 18 May 2011 (UTC) 286:Buildings and landmarks 580:June 2011 peer reviews 386: 18:Knowledge:Peer review 476:Additional comments 456:It's now in prose. 492:Redlinks such as 142:Watch peer review 87: 86: 587: 139: 130: 111: 79: 72: 65: 47: 33: 595: 594: 590: 589: 588: 586: 585: 584: 570: 569: 529:I'll fix them. 145: 120: 97: 91: 83: 51:Manual of Style 43: 31: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 593: 591: 583: 582: 572: 571: 568: 567: 566: 565: 564: 563: 542: 541: 527: 524: 521: 501: 500: 497: 490: 486: 483: 473: 472: 471: 470: 469: 468: 421: 407: 393: 390: 387: 379: 356: 355: 350: 349: 345: 344: 339: 336: 331: 314: 308: 307: 303: 302: 299: 294: 288: 287: 283: 282: 277: 271: 270: 266: 265: 262: 257: 254: 248: 247: 243: 242: 239: 234: 229: 224: 219: 213: 206: 205: 201: 200: 197: 193: 192: 152: 147: 146: 144: 90: 85: 84: 82: 81: 74: 67: 59: 56: 55: 54: 53: 48: 38: 37: 30: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 592: 581: 578: 577: 575: 562: 558: 554: 550: 546: 545: 544: 543: 540: 536: 532: 528: 525: 522: 519: 518: 517: 516: 515: 514: 510: 506: 498: 495: 491: 487: 484: 481: 480: 479: 477: 467: 463: 459: 455: 454: 453: 449: 445: 441: 436: 435: 434: 430: 426: 422: 420: 416: 412: 408: 406: 402: 398: 394: 391: 388: 385: 380: 377: 373: 372: 371: 370: 366: 362: 352: 351: 347: 346: 343: 340: 337: 335: 332: 330: 328: 324: 320: 315: 313: 310: 309: 305: 304: 300: 298: 295: 293: 290: 289: 285: 284: 281: 278: 276: 273: 272: 268: 267: 263: 261: 258: 255: 253: 250: 249: 245: 244: 240: 238: 235: 233: 230: 228: 225: 223: 220: 218: 214: 212: 208: 207: 203: 202: 198: 195: 194: 190: 189: 188: 186: 182: 181: 177: 173: 168: 165: 161: 157: 151: 143: 138: 137: 133: 128: 124: 119: 118: 114: 109: 105: 101: 96: 95: 89: 88: 80: 75: 73: 68: 66: 61: 60: 58: 57: 52: 49: 46: 45:Copying check 42: 41: 40: 39: 34: 29: 26: 19: 553:Moray An Par 531:Moray An Par 505:Brianboulton 502: 475: 474: 458:Moray An Par 444:Moray An Par 425:Moray An Par 411:Moray An Par 397:Moray An Par 382: 361:Brianboulton 357: 341: 333: 327:would result 326: 322: 318: 316: 311: 296: 291: 279: 274: 259: 251: 246:Upper campus 236: 231: 226: 221: 215: 210: 185:Brianboulton 184: 183: 172:Moray An Par 169: 164:User:Diannaa 160:Previous FAC 149: 148: 135: 131: 117:Article talk 116: 112: 93: 27: 376:WP:CURRENCY 325:the change 269:Land grants 104:visual edit 494:PhilHealth 348:References 323:estimated 574:Category 489:UNU)..." 440:MOS:BOLD 354:article. 170:Thanks, 204:History 127:history 108:history 94:Article 36:Toolbox 156:WP:FAC 136:Watch 16:< 557:talk 535:talk 509:talk 462:talk 448:talk 429:talk 415:talk 401:talk 378:says 365:talk 191:Lead 176:talk 123:edit 100:edit 576:: 559:) 537:) 511:) 464:) 450:) 431:) 417:) 403:) 367:) 319:is 178:) 140:• 125:| 106:| 102:| 555:( 533:( 507:( 460:( 446:( 427:( 413:( 399:( 363:( 174:( 132:· 129:) 121:( 113:· 110:) 98:( 78:e 71:t 64:v

Index

Knowledge:Peer review
Campus of University of the Philippines Los Baños
Copying check
Manual of Style
v
t
e
Article
edit
visual edit
history
Article talk
edit
history
Watch
Watch peer review
WP:FAC
Previous FAC
User:Diannaa
Moray An Par
talk
03:22, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Brianboulton
talk
18:17, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
WP:CURRENCY
Moray An Par
talk
05:51, 1 June 2011 (UTC)
Moray An Par

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