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that took place". The immediate reference to "propaganda of religious expeditionary wars" jars quite significantly. I believe the stated aim was to recapture the Holy Land, so that should probably be what goes in the first sentence. The way in which they were encouraged may well have been through the
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there is a definitional problem in general with the article. In the lead it defines what the
Crusades were, then in the Middle Eastern crusades section it talks about other "crusades". The scholarly sources need to be mined carefully to define what the subject of the article is, then stick to it
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when using terms which are linked, but which are not self-explanatory, some context or explanation is needed. An example is the
Investiture Controversy. Some words need to be added to explain that this was a conflict between the Church and monarchs about who could appoint church
319:- if you flip this to: "Comprised of military units of Christians from all over Western Europe, the crusaders were not under unified command." - trying to avoid "crusade(r)" being one of the first two words of every para in the lead.
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the use of Just War doctrine in the
Crusades is highly questionable given it wasn't properly defined by Thomas Aquinas until after the Crusades. This point needs to be carefully cited from scholarly sources. The current section is
157:. This peer review is part of the process, which runs from 0.00 hrs UTC 15 April to 0.00 hrs 12 May 2013. All editors are invited to offer suggestions for article improvement.
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throughout. No problem with mentioning that some authors may go wider, but the lack of definition and "mission creep" is rather clear in the current article.
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an infobox with a map of the areas fought over would be a useful addition. The current miniature painting is not an appropriate lead image.
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there are some highly controversial statements throughout that have been tagged, and need careful citing to scholarly sources.
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Needs a line mentioning the lack of evidence for the childrens' crusade (now that does sound like an intriguing story...)
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the See also section has a number of links already in the body of the article. It could be significantly reduced in size.
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Pilgrimages had been allowed by
Christians to the holy sites in Palestine from soon after their conquest by the Muslims
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The crusaders comprised military units of
Christians from all over Western Europe, and were not under unified command.
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for "The
Crusades from the Perspective of Byzantium and the Muslim World" from doaks.org should be replaced with:
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I am wondering whether the defintiion and use of the word should come at the top rather than the bottom.
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terminology and spelling needs to be consistent throughout. Seljuq/Seljuk/Turkish
Muslims is an example.
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suggest the first sentence of the lead needs a re-work. For example, they were a series of wars "
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use of such propaganda, but it is inappropriate to have the ways and means put ahead of the aim.
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none of the images have alt text (this is important for vision-impaired WP users)
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there are many section that are too small to justify remaining separate.
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the First
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This vital article is being improved as an entrant in the Core
Contest:
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is
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the statement about the numbering scheme must be carefully cited
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I suspect the criticism and legacy sections could be bigger....
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make sure you link terms such as Levant at first instance.
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