190:: It is indeed a quality article. As a disclaimer, I am not a scientist so you could be explaining why the world is flat and my commentary would still consist of how to make it flow better. The lead reads very well until the last paragraph, which felt like things that weren't said yet but deserved a mention somewhere. I moved the etymology note to the first sentence; if you change the second sentence to 'Phagocytes have since been found in many species' it will tie in with the bit about discovery.
593:. Some T-cells that posses antigens that would cause them to attack self slip through the first process of tolerance, some T-cells develop self-attacking antigens later in life, and some self-attacking antigens are not found in the thymus; because of this dendritic cells again restrain their activity."
464:
That's as far as I've got, and I think you get the idea: more links required, more explanations required in the absence of links, and odd bits of dodgy prose to be sorted out. From now on I'll only deal with the prose issues and leave the article's writers to pick up the other issues. I'll come back
229:
Under avoiding contact, I understand the following sentence but it sounds awkward in
English: "Fourth, some bacteria can avoid contact with phagocytes by tricking the immune system into thinking that the bacteria are 'self'." Possibly a section you were already working on as I see an existing HTML
254:
The article is not very welcoming to those without special knowledege. To some extent this is inevitable, but has enough been done to justify the inclusion of this article in a general encyclopedia rather than in a scientific journal? My impression is that it is pitched a little too high to be
308:
We have
Mechnikov proposing something in the 1880s, and in the same sentence receiving a Nobel Prize in 1908. Could you link these two statements by, for example, adding after the words "primary defence against invading organisms" a phrase such as: "During the following years his findings were
606:"There are many methods of survival and stopping the fusion of a phagosome and lysosome into a phagolysosome is one." This doesn't sound very professional. I suggest: "One of many methods of survival is stopping the fusion of a phagosome and lysosome into a phagolysosome."
193:
A brief elaboration of how/why the monocyte becomes a macrophage when it leaves circulation would help for laypeople like myself. If I'm reading correctly, it basically loses its granules. Keep an eye out for things like this that may have seemed obvious to the writer.
444:
Another awkward sentence: "How effective the immune response controlled by dendritic cells is, depends on their maturity", Suggest rewrite as: "The effectiveness of the immune response controlled by dendritic cells depends on their maturity" (or, "...on the cells'
596:
Avoiding contact: the meaning of "self" in this sentence should be made clear: "...some bacteria can avoid contact with phagocytes by tricking the immune system into thinking that the bacteria are 'self'". Also, there is a hidden "which does what" note in this
272:
The syntax of the first sentence doesn't seem right as it stands. I assume the required sense is that phagocytes "ingest dead, dying, pathogenic or infectios cells, and other foreign particles." If this is the intended meaning, the sentence should be adjusted
222:
Alright, I've read through it and must say the previous reviewer was correct about the article quality. The only major thing that stuck out at me was that the extracellular killing section is awfully short for a top-level section.
143:
cells. The latter is perhaps a greater proportion of phagocyte activity than ingestion of invading microorganisms, yet is not even mentioned in the lead. Self-antigen presentation in the absence of inflammation is important for
312:
The last two sentences seem out of place. The penultimate sentence is word-for-word repetition of a sentence in the lead; the last sentence would be better placed as an introductory sentence to the next
611:
Defects of phagocte cell function: The sudden adoption of a bullet-point format goes against the style of the rest of the article. The section should be rendered into straight prose, for consistency.
285:
Awkward sentence: "When the phagocyte comes into contact with dying cells, they bind the receptors...". The proper from is "When dying cells come into contact with the phagocyte, they bind..." etc
657:
508:
Phrases in mdashes should not form a complete sentence. Dashes enclose interjections or interruptions within a sentence. Thus: "X—although Y says otherwise—was in complete agreement with Z"
139:
I've skimmed it and it seems generally excellent, with the caveat that it is centered on the role of phagocytes in handling infectious/foreign agents, but not their role in handling
589:
Immunological tolerance: the term is somewhat over-repeated in this section. Also, the syntax of this extended sentence defeated me: "The second type of immunological tolerance is
121:
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like somebody to point out mistakes (everything from grammar to readability) in the article and gauge its progress.
519:
Avoid starting a new sentence with the concluding word or phrase of its predecessor, e.g. "...superoxide anion. Superoxide anion..." and "...hypochlorite. Hypochlorite..."
618:
I think that sees me through. I can't guarantee that I've picked up every prose issue, but I hope my comments will help you to improve the article. Good luck with it.
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articles using academic or professional terms should contain more explanation at a more basic level than would be available in the typical academic paper or textbook
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Non-professional phagocytes: no specific prose issues, but the first paragraph is a good example of what I mean by inaccessible language. The guideline in
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546:
Brian, thank you so much for this thorough review. This is just to let you know that I have read and noted all these very useful comments. Graham.
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Repetition to be avoided: "After monocytes have turned into immature dendritic cells, the immature dendriditic cells..." Use the pronoun "they"
258:
For example, there often seems to be an assumption of "inside" knowledge; many terms which could be wikilinked are unlinked and unexplained.
152:. I can try to add some of this when I get a chance, but I have a lot on my plate and the links I've provided may help you do the same. --
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Septic shock: "...this helpful chemical can produce hegative results" - negative, in this case, meaning good? Needs clarifying.
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Oxygen-independent intracellular killing: Is all the material in this section verified by the single source cited at the end?
58:
388:"they can even store iron..." Any significance of "even" in this statement will, I fear, be lost on the general reader.
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Initiation of phagocytosis: Prose issue – two successive sentences beginning with "These receptors..." Try and reword
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You could avoid unnecessary repetition by rewording: "...and found that this organism could similarly be destroyed."
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247:: This seems to be a thorough, carefully prepared article. I have thus far read only the first few sections.
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Time doesn't allow for a close reading of the remainder of the article. Here are a few further points:
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I find the verb to "phagocytise" a bit forbidding; could this be explained in non-technical
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The first para of the section seems light on citations. Second para also has uncited statements.
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Suggest explanation of "helper T cells", "killer T cells", if helpful links can't be found.
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First sentence: should there be a comma after "antibody"? And should this be "antibodies"?
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394:"Activated" and "after activation" in the same sentence. One of these should be removed.
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Claus suggested the name "phagocyte", but it's not clear what he was actually naming.
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Phagocytosis: again no prose issues, but again severe readability problems
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I got called in to work mid-edit, I'll have to read the rest later.
321:"bi-lobed nuclei" – is there any way of explaining what these are?
148:, and disruption of this process may be an important trigger of
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Can "differentiation of CD4 T cells" be explained more simply?
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The article uses 'T cell' and 'T-cell' in different sections.
339:"granulyte-monocyte precursors" Any explanation possible?
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review of the article for issues relating to grammar and
564:), who has done most of the hard work on this article.
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502:Initial signaling: the SOS link is not appropriate
658:Peer review pages with semiautomated peer reviews
560:PS. I left a note on my co-editor's talkpage (
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197:A peculiarity with one of the linked terms:
118:This peer review discussion has been closed.
456:"toll-like receptors" Explanation possible?
309:confirmed, and he and Paul Erlich..." etc?
101:A script has been used to generate a semi-
516:Oxygen-dependent intracellular killing
170:Thanks, this is very helpful. Graham.
505:Endothelial and epithelial migration
230:comment that said "which does what?"
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201:points to a different article than
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255:accessible to the general reader.
522:"The next type..." Type of what?
600:Survival inside the phagocyte:
266:Comments on specific sections
109:style; it can be found on the
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643:17:56, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
628:19:51, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
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18:Knowledge (XXG):Peer review
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245:Comments from Brianboulton
111:automated peer review page
188:Comments from Natural Cut
583:Just a few more comments
199:Myeloid progenitor cells
663:March 2009 peer reviews
203:Myeloid progenitor cell
562:User talk:Eulemur2008
633:Thanks again Brian.
591:peripheral tolerance
324:Links available for
146:peripheral tolerance
36:Previous peer review
480:A few more comments
113:for February 2009.
93:Watch peer review
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356:cytoplasmic
232:Natural Cut
210:Natural Cut
126:Eulemur2008
55:visual edit
652:Categories
445:maturity")
376:chemokines
368:phagosomes
318:Monocytes
488:WP:JARGON
372:cytokines
364:TNF-alpha
360:IFN-gamma
348:microglia
344:lysosomes
326:cytoplasm
141:apoptotic
103:automated
28:Phagocyte
597:section.
422:peptides
407:antibody
384:cationic
352:alveolar
330:antigens
313:session.
293:History
280:receptor
251:General
124:Thanks,
635:Graham
566:Graham
548:Graham
431:Links:
418:Heparin
172:Graham
78:history
59:history
45:Article
380:enzyme
298:motile
342:Link
269:Lead
154:Scray
107:house
87:Watch
16:<
637:Colm
624:talk
568:Colm
550:Colm
537:talk
471:talk
328:and
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174:Colm
158:talk
130:talk
74:edit
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490:is
437:MHC
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