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Something seems a little off with the wording here (I think), but I can't put my finger on it: "that spoiled the required perfect spherical shape desired from the implosion process..." Should "from" be "for" and is "required" contradictory with "desired"? Perhaps consider revising? (suggestion only)
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The whole incident is probably worth its own article rather than being tucked away in the UNM and Kent State articles, but I could find no mention of
Bradbury playing any role, so it is assumed that his was just another head that rolled in the aftermath. But I cannot be explicit without an explicit
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The difference here is between the standard way that books are cited and scientific papers, which is enforced by the cite journal template. "37 (10): 1311–1319" is volume 37 issue 10, pp. 1311–1319. I could insert the "p." and "pp." but it will probably be removed by a wiki gnome.
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Really? I found the bit about NERVA fascinating enough to read a whole book on the subject. Anyhow, I've expanded the sentence to a paragraph. There are snippets about the incident elsewhere on
Knowledge. Alas, no one is likely to go looking here.
434:- though I do have one question: did Bradbury play an active role of any sort in the 1970 incident at UNM or was his just another head that rolled in the aftermath? I'm assuming the latter, but it'd be good to make it explicit.
486:: Are you able to address Ian's and Parsec's last queries? I suppose I could close this now as they've both explicitly supported, but I'd prefer to see all the loose ends tied up first. Thanks,
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Tks Harry, supporting after requested changes, though I'd still have preferred one of Nikki's patented source reviews. Looking over refs and citations myself, nothing much stood out except:
124:" the final assembly of the Gadget," - I'd have put "the Gadget" in speech marks (it's done that way in the article it's linked to, btw, and seems to be the style later in the article)
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V. minor, but is gangrene actually a disease? "The disease spread to his left leg..." I think its actually a condition, which can be caused by certain diseases.
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I notice some citations use just figures for page numbers rather than "p. nnn" or "pp. nnn–nnn" but that's probably down to the vagaries of the templates.
127:"They were married in 1933. They had three sons, James, John, and David" - minor, but would it be worth flowing these two short sentences together?
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Content-wise, the only snippet that left me wanting more was his dismissal following the campus disorder -- any thing further on that?
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Usually the OCLC is more useful. There was a review once before where another editor wanted OCLCs, so I insert them always now.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
130:"submitted his resignation at director of the Los Alamos Laboratory" - "as director". Should director be capitalised?
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I don't think we need OCLC when there's an ISBN. Not deal-breakers, though -- the support stands. Cheers,
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Prose-wise, copyedited as usual but not a lot to do; as ever let me know if you disagree with anything.
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I wouldn't disagree about NERVA but unlike this incident, it has an article of its own... ;-) Cheers,
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Structure-wise, I felt the lead just a bit titchy, even though the article isn't particularly long.
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Re-worded to "that spoiled the perfect spherical shape desired for the implosion process"
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Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
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As far as referencing and supporting materials go, I haven't done a source review a la
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I changed a few things which looked like typos to me. Pls revert if I got them wrong.
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354:, do you still have concerns outstanding or are you happy for this to be closed?
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Images are all seem to be PD and are appropriate, captions ok.
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Expanded the lead. I find these very hard to write.
334:, but happy to go with AC's image review. Cheers,
120:- enjoyed reading it, with minor points below:
242:All points addressed. Thanks for your review!
147:All points addressed. Thanks for your review!
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18:Knowledge:WikiProject Military history
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33:The following discussion is closed.
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226:Otherwise looks fine to me.
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503:{{subst:arvhive bottom}}
501:11:49, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
497:Penny for your thoughts?
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369:21:50, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
365:Penny for your thoughts?
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176:External links check out
59:Penny for your thoughts?
36:Please do not modify it.
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102:Los Alamos Laboratory
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22:Assessment
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436:Parsecboy
47:Promoted.
451:Hawkeye7
449:source.
413:Hawkeye7
399:Ian Rose
383:Hawkeye7
336:Ian Rose
314:Ian Rose
300:Hawkeye7
280:Hawkeye7
262:Comments
244:Hawkeye7
184:Alt Text
149:Hawkeye7
135:Hchc2009
105:Hawkeye7
80:Hawkeye7
20: |
484:Hawkeye
432:Support
267:Support
166:Support
118:Support
482:Ping
332:Nikki
16:<
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352:Ian
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