386:"Honestly, it makes no sense," explained Dr. Anita Pennywhistle, head of the newly-formed xenosociology team. "It's the product of a very specific technological moment and cultural zeitgeist, so you'd think it would only show up in a couple of specific scenarios. But it's basically everywhere. You've got a Knowledge (XXG) online from the Holy Strangite Concordat, the Universal Hoxhian People's Union, the Eternal Commonwealth of Byzantium, and so on. There's even a Knowledge (XXG) — somehow, bewilderingly, pronounced roughly the same way — in a world where intelligent life evolved from Fungi and not Animalia."
374:"Sure, most of them tend to have written Knowledge (XXG) articles about their language, but we're finding a lot of stuff that doesn't even seem to really register as language," he said in an interview. "Some of them speak normal stuff like Volapük or High Akkadian, but some of them speak languages where a person's name is a SHA-256 hash of their genome. Or nouns are Fourier transforms of objects' emission spectra. Or, worse, they speak Lojban. So it's not something that's insurmountable, in most cases, but it's a process that is going to take us a while."
212:
brutally gnarly stuff. And it turns out that if you take the waveform and throw a bunch of compute at it, it resolves into some totally different stuff, and it turns out that the different stuff is actually a bunch of valid HTTP packets that claim to be from weird places that don't exist. We don't really know where they're from, or if they're legit, I mean for all we know the whole thing could be total cap, but the math does mostly check out, so it's definitely big if true.
110:
246:" prevents these worlds from being explored, even with the most cutting-edge technology that has been tried. While varying turboencabulation frequency has allowed connections to a dizzying array of different "Bazingerzones", as they've been termed, all information that has been gathered from the connection so far has purported to be from Earth — or at least a planet with identical gravity, mass, density, elemental composition, set of constellations and solar system.
130:
450:
90:
120:
36:
140:
100:
150:
211:
So, um, here's the basic deal of it: you get some superconductors, and you use a laser to shoot a bunch of HTTP packets or whatever at the loop, and there's also this whole deal with mirrors and beryllium and whatever, and basically, like, if you point a refractometer at them, you get some insanely
258:
never develop life, or they do so in a way that doesn't result in self-augmenting intelligence, or they do get complex societies but they never get around to building a bunch of random semiconductor technology, or they do build semiconductors but then something fucked up happens and they never get
401:
So far, our search has been slow, since we have to translate languages before we can read them. Towards that end, we've been working with
Professor Glockenspiel's team to enhance their understanding of Knowledge (XXG) politics — strangely similar across a variety of civilizations and life forms —
409:
Through their publication, we hope to inform you, our readers, of the fascinating aspects of what may well be the greatest discovery in the history of human civilization: policies, guidelines, and essays written by our own brothers, sisters, nongendered spawnmates, clonal peri-entites, conscious
370:
meant to indicate a "page not found" error message. It comes from
Provisional Bazingerzone PB-82FB7E0A, appropriately termed the "Arrow Dudes". Hubert Glockenspiel, who's spent the last 15 years as the Unicode Consortium's Extraterrestrial Script and Character Integration Coordinator, has been
389:
Due to this unique constant, shared across virtually all
Bazingerzones, it is possible to conduct a detailed, comprehensive analysis of their history, culture, biology, and philosophy. While the content of the articles themselves have been put under a strict informational quarantine by the
615:
I'm very fond of this type of SCP Foundation-style fiction, especially when it suggests parallel developments, different ways culture can play out, and just random fun stuff (or worse: Lojban!). So I'm not complaining, this bit of creative writing was a joy to read ^_^
402:
which, in turn, aids in their ability to decode the language. While our publications are still subject to approval by the UN Security
Council, we expect to have them ready in time for next issue. Particularly, we look forward to bringing you the full translated text of
237:
that resolve into a variety of files, including Web sites — seem to originate from wildly different worlds than our own. For example, one configuration of the LEA (dubbed the "High Castle setup") yields a number of websites which claim to be located in the
551:
This got to be the oddest article I've seen on the SIPO. Like, for regular humor pages, I can at least see the message or a theme that's being parodied. But this? What's meaning of this???? But that doesn't preclude it from being a fun read though.
229:; it's also appropriate in a practical sense, since CERN is the only organization in the world currently posessing an encabulator array of this size. Whatever the circumstances that lay behind this discovery, it is ground-breaking and unique.
382:
One peculiar feature of the
Scooses-Bazingernet, quickly discovered during initial tests, is that an overwhelming majority of the civilizations and species reachable through CERN's connection possess some equivalent of Knowledge (XXG).
317:
So, too, are there linguistic differences. While a large enough corpus of text can usually be decoded by humans and machine learning algorithms well enough to give basic understanding, getting there is a challenge unto itself:
593:
232:
Currently, experiments are underway to determine the properties and nature of the Moony-Bazingers effect; chief among them is the actual status of the data being received. If taken at face value, the data — which consists of
191:. While the SLEA group has yet to publish a paper formally documenting their findings, those who are interested in the technical aspects will be pleased to find that, as of press time, 15 preprints are currently available on
270:
was able to attend this press conference, and was included in the limited roster of organizations permitted to query what some are calling the "Scooses-Bazingernet". Other members of the
Provisional Query Group included the
198:
While a detailed description of the Moony-Bazingers effect is nearly impossible to give in the space we have here, a broadly summary was given by project lead Adam
Shirtless at a press conference yesterday:
494:
586:
504:
474:
76:
530:
479:
744:
If taken at face value, the data — which consists of HTTP packets that resolve into a variety of files, including Web sites — seem to originate from wildly different worlds than our own.
489:
467:
484:
461:
55:
44:
437:
428:
254:"So," explained Dr. Shirtless at the press conference, "the shit of it all is, I mean, assuming any of this is real and we're not just on drugs or whatever, we figure the
276:
853:
592:. There has also been at least one edit composed in space, and a press conference tangentially related to Knowledge (XXG), shortly after a return from space. See
21:
226:
829:
310:
Establishing connections to outzones has proven difficult — while all of them seem to possess technology capable of transmitting digital information, the
824:
819:
798:
93:
814:
30:
Strange portal opened by CERN researchers brings
Knowledge (XXG) articles from "other worlds": The Signpost brings you the latest from the source.
174:
Note: I trust you, dear reader, to be able to determine whether or not this is fact or fiction. If you cannot, please see the note at the end.
809:
449:
49:
35:
17:
663:
Lol. This was great. Already 15 preprints, of course! Next month there will be 871, and they'll still be a sea of garbage, just a
179:
Social media, broadcast news and academia alike have been buzzing lately with the latest discovery: a group of researchers from
688:
566:
is much more relevant, but you had to be led into it somehow, and this was just the exposition needed... only time shall tell.
391:
700:
Thanks for the link. Best horror story I've read in years. Well, back to work now, despite a bit of context drift dysphoria.
263:
had superconductors for a long-ass time and we didn't even think to do this until just now, so like, whatever. Big if true."
355:
304:
214:
326:
207:
300:
239:
705:
672:
835:
766:
729:
709:
695:
676:
656:
629:
610:
578:
556:
398:
was able to wikilawyer our way into an approval to disclose the contents of various informational pages.
563:
403:
188:
701:
668:
623:
603:
762:
750:
725:
652:
642:
371:
taking an active role in the multinational attempts to decode and interpret these new languages:
280:
234:
103:
784:
526:
296:
184:
123:
243:
71:
Strange portal opened by CERN researchers brings
Knowledge (XXG) articles from "other worlds"
637:
585:
I'll just point out that
Knowledge (XXG) has already been verifiably edited from space. See
292:
284:
133:
617:
598:
411:
153:
758:
754:
721:
648:
574:
288:
847:
255:
143:
113:
222:
568:
163:
187:, discovered a strange phenomenon last Wednesday, colloquilally dubbed the
363:
553:
225:
was the first hypertext server, and www.cern.ch was the first WWW site
311:
242:". Unfortunately, an even more mysterious phenomenon known as the "
717:
192:
180:
54:
323:
272:
204:
684:
683:
Reminds me of the rather lovely short horror story of of the
301:
Charlevoix County College of Theology and Forestry Technology
448:
34:
542:
535:
515:
266:
Through a generous grant by the Speedwagon Foundation,
749:
I'd just like to point out that those smart guys the
687:written in the stype of a Knowledge (XXG) article.
540:If your comment has not appeared here, you can try
314:often requires some modification to work properly.
221:Perhaps it is appropriate in a poetic sense, since
410:agglomerative systems, and autonomous persistent
259:around to superconductors, or something. I mean,
277:International Association of Applied Linguistics
312:transmission control protocol/Internet protocol
366:— it's a joke about trees farting, which is a
8:
797:Explore Knowledge (XXG) history by browsing
594:There's no intelligent life on this planet
854:Knowledge (XXG) Signpost archives 2023-09
299:, and selected research faculty from the
18:Knowledge (XXG):Knowledge (XXG) Signpost
777:
543:
519:
70:
307:on the other side of the connection).
29:
7:
303:(the latter by specific request of
56:
28:
525:These comments are automatically
183:, running experiments on the new
148:
138:
128:
118:
108:
98:
88:
392:United Nations Security Council
256:overwhelming majority of worlds
767:21:04, 21 September 2023 (UTC)
738:HTTP Packets from weird places
730:11:57, 19 September 2023 (UTC)
710:14:38, 18 September 2023 (UTC)
696:11:17, 18 September 2023 (UTC)
677:17:31, 17 September 2023 (UTC)
657:13:16, 17 September 2023 (UTC)
645:: The Magisteria of Many Lands
630:20:09, 16 September 2023 (UTC)
611:17:43, 16 September 2023 (UTC)
579:08:39, 16 September 2023 (UTC)
557:06:41, 16 September 2023 (UTC)
536:add the page to your watchlist
1:
185:Super-Large Encabulator Array
870:
640:canonical translation of
785:Martian Address Filtering
685:first emulated human mind
240:Pacific States of America
195:concerning the subject.
414:class IV through XVII.
751:Elders of the Internet
747:
533:. To follow comments,
453:
189:Moony-Bazingers effect
39:
741:
452:
38:
587:earlier coverage in
529:from this article's
378:Wikipedias for fungi
250:Plumbing the heights
643:Codex Seraphinianus
667:sea. Big if true.
647:is in the offing.
520:Discuss this story
454:
412:Boltzmann clusters
281:Unicode Consortium
45:← Back to Contents
40:
692:
544:purging the cache
462:16 September 2023
360:
359:
297:National Enquirer
219:
218:
57:16 September 2023
50:View Latest Issue
861:
838:
787:
782:
755:got this covered
690:
638:Penguin Classics
626:
620:
619:Maplestrip/Mable
606:
547:
545:
539:
518:
495:Featured content
472:
464:
457:
440:
432:
324:
305:certain kingdoms
293:Associated Press
285:Internet Archive
205:
166:
152:
151:
142:
141:
132:
131:
122:
121:
112:
111:
102:
101:
92:
91:
62:
60:
58:
869:
868:
864:
863:
862:
860:
859:
858:
844:
843:
842:
841:
840:
839:
834:
832:
827:
822:
817:
812:
805:
794:
793:
791:
790:
783:
779:
774:
740:
702:Quercus solaris
669:Quercus solaris
624:
618:
609:
604:
549:
541:
534:
523:
522:
516:+ Add a comment
514:
510:
509:
508:
465:
460:
458:
455:
444:
443:
438:
435:
430:
424:
423:
380:
368:double entendre
252:
168:
167:
161:
160:
159:
158:
149:
139:
129:
119:
109:
99:
89:
83:
80:
69:
65:
63:
53:
52:
47:
41:
31:
26:
25:
24:
12:
11:
5:
867:
865:
857:
856:
846:
845:
833:
828:
823:
818:
813:
808:
807:
806:
796:
795:
792:
789:
788:
776:
775:
773:
770:
739:
736:
735:
734:
733:
732:
716:And I thought
713:
712:
680:
679:
660:
659:
633:
632:
613:
601:
596:
582:
581:
524:
521:
513:
512:
511:
507:
505:Traffic report
502:
497:
492:
487:
482:
477:
475:News and notes
471:
459:
447:
446:
445:
436:
427:
426:
425:
422:
421:
406:— stay tuned!
379:
376:
358:
357:
354:
352:
350:
348:
346:
344:
342:
340:
338:
336:
334:
331:
328:
321:
289:United Nations
273:WWW Consortium
251:
248:
217:
216:
213:
209:
202:
177:
176:
170:
169:
157:
156:
146:
136:
126:
116:
106:
96:
85:
84:
81:
75:
74:
73:
72:
67:
66:
64:
61:
48:
43:
42:
33:
32:
27:
15:
14:
13:
10:
9:
6:
4:
3:
2:
866:
855:
852:
851:
849:
837:
831:
826:
821:
816:
811:
803:
801:
786:
781:
778:
771:
769:
768:
764:
760:
756:
753:have already
752:
746:
745:
737:
731:
727:
723:
720:had retired.
719:
715:
714:
711:
707:
703:
699:
698:
697:
694:
686:
682:
681:
678:
674:
670:
666:
662:
661:
658:
654:
650:
646:
644:
639:
636:Finally, the
635:
634:
631:
627:
621:
614:
612:
607:
600:
597:
595:
591:
590:
584:
583:
580:
577:
576:
571:
570:
565:
564:WP:BLPANTLERS
561:
560:
559:
558:
555:
546:
537:
532:
528:
517:
506:
503:
501:
498:
496:
493:
491:
488:
486:
483:
481:
478:
476:
473:
469:
463:
456:In this issue
451:
442:
434:
420:
417:
416:
415:
413:
407:
405:
404:WP:ANTLERSIZE
399:
397:
393:
387:
384:
377:
375:
372:
369:
365:
353:
351:⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼
349:⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼
347:⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬳⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼
345:⬳⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬳
343:⬼⬳⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼
341:⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼
339:⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳
337:⬼⬼⬼⬳⬳⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳
335:⬼⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼
333:⬼⬼⬳⬼⬳⬼⬳⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼
330:⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬼⬳⬳⬳⬼⬳⬼⬼
329:
325:
322:
319:
315:
313:
308:
306:
302:
298:
294:
290:
286:
282:
278:
274:
269:
264:
262:
257:
249:
247:
245:
241:
236:
230:
228:
224:
210:
206:
203:
200:
196:
194:
190:
186:
182:
175:
172:
171:
165:
155:
147:
145:
137:
135:
127:
125:
117:
115:
107:
105:
97:
95:
87:
86:
78:
59:
51:
46:
37:
23:
19:
800:The Signpost
799:
780:
748:
743:
742:
689:T.Shafee(Evo
664:
641:
589:The Signpost
588:
573:
567:
550:
499:
480:In the media
468:all comments
418:
408:
400:
396:The Signpost
395:
388:
385:
381:
373:
367:
361:
332:
320:
316:
309:
268:The Signpost
267:
265:
260:
253:
235:HTTP packets
231:
220:
201:
197:
178:
173:
94:PDF download
836:Suggestions
527:transcluded
490:Serendipity
441:"Concept" →
419:The latter.
362:That's not
227:back in '92
144:X (Twitter)
772:References
599:Smallbones
244:NFCC field
223:CERN httpd
82:Share this
77:Contribute
22:2023-09-16
830:Subscribe
759:Philh-591
722:kencf0618
649:kencf0618
605:smalltalk
531:talk page
433:"Concept"
848:Category
825:Newsroom
820:Archives
802:archives
562:Indeed.
485:Obituary
431:Previous
364:mojibake
134:Facebook
124:LinkedIn
114:Mastodon
20: |
500:Concept
68:Concept
665:bigger
295:, the
291:, the
287:, the
283:, the
279:, the
275:, the
154:Reddit
104:E-mail
815:About
718:Lenna
691:&
193:arXiv
16:<
810:Home
763:talk
726:talk
706:talk
693:Evo)
673:talk
653:talk
625:chat
439:Next
181:CERN
164:JPxG
162:By
79:—
850::
765:)
757:.
728:)
708:)
675:)
655:)
628:)
569:jp
554:Ca
429:←
394:,
356:”
327:“
261:we
215:”
208:“
804:.
761:(
724:(
704:(
671:(
651:(
622:(
616:~
608:)
602:(
575:g
572:×
548:.
538:.
470:)
466:(
238:"
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.
