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I can no longer cry. I groan a few times. Through the slits that are my eyes, I stare at my shoes, at the gray swirls of the concrete floor, at the bright orange lid of my syringe. And I realize-it’s all kind of a horror-that this is my life. And I can’t stop. I just can’t stop. I can’t stop
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AIDS was everywhere; I wanted it no more than the next person. Occasionally, however, fate dictated that you had to take a chance. As a junkie you had to spend a lot of time crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
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Candy was still just getting into smack and it was the gravy train, lots of hitting up-I used to do it for her, slipping the steel into those marble-white arms-
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there is only heroin, there is only Candy, the three of us adrift on the endless sea of love. We carry the ocean within us and with us wherever we go.
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The luxurious privacy of hitting up in the disabled’s toilet, where you had your own basin and the door reached fully to the ground.
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I went to the bedroom and Candy already had a belt tied around her arm. There were times when I loved her enthusiasm.
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