1664:
chapter. The difference is minor, in some wording, spelling too (one spells it
Kutichaka, the other Kutichara), but the chief points are indeed the same. There is no mention of "living with family or a family member" in Bhikshuka. Not in Ashrama either. Ashrama does say, "Kuticharas" visit and beg for 8 mouthfuls of food per day from their own family. "Kuticharas" is a Sanskrit word that means "cottage or hut visitors", contextually meaning here to be someone who goes from one cottage to another to beg. Your edits are fine, thanks. I will meditate on the 1st para of History and the sources a bit, then reword it, by tomorrow.
1074:: one major aspect is that topics covered in the lead need to be covered in the body of the article. Yet almost none of the material in the opening paragraph appears in the body of the text: that it's a minor Upanishad, that it's written in Sanskrit, etc. Indeed, there is typically no need for inline citations in the lead section unless quotes or controversial information appears here, because the information should also appear in the body and be cited there, yet this has six separate citations (one of which appears twice).
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1621:, I've just done a second pass, and in most places I've edited the article directly, including the Contents section and its two subsections, where I felt that repeating that each monk type seeks liberation only through yoga practice did not adhere to the "concise" part of the "clear and concise" GA criterion, so it's now only mentioned once, in the main section.
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1131:"This text finds mention in South Indian Telugu language version of Hindu Upanishad anthologies" is unclear and needs work as prose as well. Is the Upanishad actually included in those anthologies, or just mentioned (and in what context)? I would avoid "finds mention", which is an unusual phrasingâbe more direct.
1284:
sentence, "its authorship ... is believed to have been composed" (authorship is not composed), and "between the 14th and 15th centuries" (there's nothing between them); in the fourth, the repetition of "same substance" is problematic, as is the general tenor of the sentence: it is not clear to me whether the
1567:
That's the initial pass through the article. There's a lot of work to be done here in terms of rewording; I'm sure there will be another round of requests. Please take especial care in the revisions that the resulting text is clear and concise, and does not introduce new issues while fixing old ones.
1283:
After the recent revision, this section only actually deals with when the
Upanishad was created ("chronology") in the last half; its first half talks about other basic facts instead. The section is far from meeting the "clear and concise" GA prose requirement, and needs a major copyedit: in the third
1192:
After the corrections, the first paragraph now ends in a comma, in the middle of an incomplete sentence. That's not good. Also, as noted in one of the other reviews, you should wikilink "recension". In addition, "serial order" isn't something that was mentioned in the other
Upanishad article I worked
1636:
would appear to describe them as still living with a family member or with family, in their hut (a "hut" monk, if you will), on page 765 of
Deussen, but that description may not be in Bhikshuka. If there's anything more you can add to describe this type of monk, as a way of differentiating from the
1624:
The first paragraph under
History is still problematic, as I do not understand what "same in substance" means as written. The Deussen source mentions "chief points"; it appears that while both cover the same groundâI believe the four types of monks are the same in both?âthey don't necessarily do it
1663:
I checked the
Sanskrit manuscripts and the Olivelle's Bhikshuka translation on page 236. For Kuticakas, we can only list the four names, eight mouthfuls and yogic path to moksha. Anything else may be WP:OR-synthesis. You are right about 'four types of monks' are same in Bhikshuka and Ashrama's 4th
1530:
are these tracing to earlier works or to later ones? It's important to clarify this, especially as you're talking about "much later composed" (which should be displaced to after the
Upanishads mention) that could be much later than the Vedic works but still earlier than
1379:
monks do average eight mouthfuls a day over time, but never the same from day to day. If there's something more to it than what was written here, then you may need to change my revisions. (Do the urine and dung count in the mouthful total? It might be useful to clarify
1640:
I still need to find the time to check more of the sourcesâat least, those that are available to meâbut in the meantime you can work on the two issues that I've mentioned above, and also check to make sure that my edits did not do violence to the facts. Thanks.
1718:
I reworded the 1st para of history section, and added a note of difference between the two texts. I picked the 'yogic path' detail because it is a significant difference that is present for all four monk types in the
Bhikshuka, but missing in the Ashrama.
1549:
I don't quite follow the chain of causation in this section, especially the final sentence, which is oddly phrased: each monk becomes "an end in himself"? How does that accord with the goal of attaining moksha, or advancing far on the path to attain
1137:
But you've changed it to "is listed", which is again indirect: it could be that the title of the
Upanishad is listed but the full contents are not included. Please be more careful: this is a GA review, so prose and meaning are very important.
1416:
for Hamsa monks, is the injunction to stay only five nights in a town or no more than five nights in a town (and the same with the seven nights for a religious center)? It affects the wording if it could be fewer nights than the number
1086:
In the Jabala
Upanishad, the word is "Sannyasa"; here, the word is rendered "Samnyasa" but still links to "Sannyasa". I think consistency across articles is a good idea unless there's a very strong reason to avoid it.
1160:": this is a different form of the word than I've seen before, and its orthography is different as well: instead of capitalized regular type, it's lowercase italics. Again, see Jabala, and try for consistency.
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Would it make sense to somehow incorporate the single sentence after the first paragraph into this first paragraph? OR maybe it should be structured that way, as I see it is the lead for the mendicant monks.
1093:
They seem to be used as alternate spellings, not as synonyms. If they mean similar but not identical things, then why do they link to the same article? You haven't given a very strong reason to avoid it.
1453:
in the final paragraph, I wasn't quite sure how to describe where they would be in/on/near a waterfall, so I took a guess; please check. I cannot make sense of the "just a square block"; please fix that.
1208:
I'll get back to this when I can, but there are two other reviews I haven't yet posted anything to, and Jabala still to complete. It will probably take a few days; I am not a fast reviewer.
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why is this section called "Reception"? This seems to be an analysis by (basically) one person, rather than how the text has been received (followed) over the centuries
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review, I'm going to go through all the sections, this time starting with the lead section; I will follow up with the others as I have time to finish and post them.
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on Knowledge. If you would like to support the project, please visit the project page, where you can get more details on how you can help, and where you can join the
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I did a copyedit of all but the first paragraph, which I think you need to straighten out on your own. Some issues that I couldn't solve in the text I did edit:
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Reopened - as I may have missed some issues as a new reviewer, and want to be sure all the criteria are covered, so have reopen for further reviewing.--
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I don't know why "Yoga" is capitalized; it certainly isn't in the "Yoga" article. I think lowercase is probably the best choice throughout the article.
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Thank you very much for an outstanding review and promoting the article to GA. Much of the credit for compliance of review observations goes to
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please check throughout for overlinking; I removed some duplicates in the course of my copyedit here, but I'm sure there are more examples
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I ended up standardizing on having the four monk types in italics; if it should be all roman, then do that, but don't do a mixture
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Indeed. Clarified that this is not an injunction but a choice, and the right wording per sources is "no more". - MSW
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Thanks again. I have revised the lead and various sections. Go ahead with the next round of comments.
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Citations in the lead have been shifted to the main article with appropriate additions of texts -NVV
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Is there anything else I should be doing to have the article officially listed as GA? --
1685:, it looks like I misread the Duessen about Kuticaras; page 765 (on Ashrama) says "The
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Changed it to Influence. If another section title would be better, please change. - MSW
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So far as I can see, the article now meets the GA criteria. Since this is officially
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The sources do not clarify either way. Leaving this unanswered, to avoid WP:OR. - MSW
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922:. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
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It's best if "refers to" is together, and placed after "Indian tradition".
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I'm wondering why, if "Bhikshukopanishad" is an alternate title to "
716:-related topics. If you would like to participate, please visit the
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Thanks for the review comments. My response is marked with -MSW.
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I have addressed some issues. May like to clarify more, please.
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please identify Obeyesekere so we know why his thoughts matter
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1808:- this has my approval and should be granted to GA status.--
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for the formal approval to GA status. Thanks to all.
991:
Seems to be a lot of white space after For example.
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Please pick between "Chandrayana" and "ChÄná¸rÄyaáša"
1187:
It is an alternate spelling. Italicicised now. -NVV
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1090:Sannyasa and Samnyasa are used as synonym. - NVV
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1462:Olivelle states "by waterfall". Clarified. - MSW
1070:To be a GA you have to meet the requirements of
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1540:Fixed. - MSW
1521:Fixed. - MSW
1444:It is. - MSW
1376:
1366:Fixed. - MSW
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1269:Fixed. - MSW
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1066:Lead section
1034:As with the
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902:Instructions
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806:Did you know
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795:Did you know
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784:A fact from
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718:project page
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701:Nepal portal
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157:India portal
94:WikiProjects
52:
43:please do so
31:
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26:
1848:BlueMoonset
1823:BlueMoonset
1798:BlueMoonset
1773:BlueMoonset
1757:BlueMoonset
1714:BlueMoonset
1691:BlueMoonset
1659:BlueMoonset
1643:BlueMoonset
1614:Second pass
1590:BlueMoonset
1570:BlueMoonset
1568:Thank you.
1485:Done. - MSW
1407:Done. - MSW
1210:BlueMoonset
1195:BlueMoonset
1140:BlueMoonset
1096:BlueMoonset
1011:BlueMoonset
916:transcluded
800:check views
1869:Categories
1739:Conclusion
1531:Bhikshuka.
1164:Sannyasins
1158:sannyasins
869:Authorship
855:GA toolbox
546:Philosophy
535:philosophy
482:Literature
477:Philosophy
276:Philosophy
248:April 2016
118:Literature
37:under the
1687:Kuticaras
1630:Kutichaka
1471:Reception
1255:Etymology
928:Reviewer:
892:Templates
883:Reviewing
848:GA Review
839:Knowledge
790:Main Page
1550:Brahman?
1313:Contents
1279:History)
1168:Sannyasa
978:Contents
941:contribs
897:Criteria
486:Religion
330:Hinduism
321:Hinduism
271:Hinduism
84:GA-class
47:reassess
1806:Nvvchar
1787:Nvvchar
1753:Nvvchar
1302:History
1232:Nvvchar
1072:WP:LEAD
1004:Nvvchar
792:in the
756:on the
573:on the
490:Eastern
437:defunct
411:defunct
357:on the
208:on the
1417:given.
1380:that.)
90:scale.
54:Review
1377:Hamsa
1170:-NVV
918:from
729:Nepal
714:Nepal
670:Nepal
181:India
170:India
113:India
1852:talk
1831:talk
1814:talk
1804:and
1800:and
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1670:talk
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1628:The
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970:talk
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935:talk
818:monk
748:Low
565:Low
349:Mid
200:Low
49:it.
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