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Talk:Bhikshuka Upanishad/GA1

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880:
chapter. The difference is minor, in some wording, spelling too (one spells it Kutichaka, the other Kutichara), but the chief points are indeed the same. There is no mention of "living with family or a family member" in Bhikshuka. Not in Ashrama either. Ashrama does say, "Kuticharas" visit and beg for 8 mouthfuls of food per day from their own family. "Kuticharas" is a Sanskrit word that means "cottage or hut visitors", contextually meaning here to be someone who goes from one cottage to another to beg. Your edits are fine, thanks. I will meditate on the 1st para of History and the sources a bit, then reword it, by tomorrow.
290:: one major aspect is that topics covered in the lead need to be covered in the body of the article. Yet almost none of the material in the opening paragraph appears in the body of the text: that it's a minor Upanishad, that it's written in Sanskrit, etc. Indeed, there is typically no need for inline citations in the lead section unless quotes or controversial information appears here, because the information should also appear in the body and be cited there, yet this has six separate citations (one of which appears twice). 905:(hut-visitors) are they who, carrying on begging in the houses of their children," which doesn't actually say they live with their family, just that the various family does (presumably) feed them. If the Bhikshuka doesn't specify the family connection, then it would be synthesis indeed to mention it because Ashrama does, though if this is a point of difference between the two Upanishads it might (or might not) be worth mentioning somewhere. 837:, I've just done a second pass, and in most places I've edited the article directly, including the Contents section and its two subsections, where I felt that repeating that each monk type seeks liberation only through yoga practice did not adhere to the "concise" part of the "clear and concise" GA criterion, so it's now only mentioned once, in the main section. 42: 347:"This text finds mention in South Indian Telugu language version of Hindu Upanishad anthologies" is unclear and needs work as prose as well. Is the Upanishad actually included in those anthologies, or just mentioned (and in what context)? I would avoid "finds mention", which is an unusual phrasing—be more direct. 500:
sentence, "its authorship ... is believed to have been composed" (authorship is not composed), and "between the 14th and 15th centuries" (there's nothing between them); in the fourth, the repetition of "same substance" is problematic, as is the general tenor of the sentence: it is not clear to me whether the
783:
That's the initial pass through the article. There's a lot of work to be done here in terms of rewording; I'm sure there will be another round of requests. Please take especial care in the revisions that the resulting text is clear and concise, and does not introduce new issues while fixing old ones.
499:
After the recent revision, this section only actually deals with when the Upanishad was created ("chronology") in the last half; its first half talks about other basic facts instead. The section is far from meeting the "clear and concise" GA prose requirement, and needs a major copyedit: in the third
408:
After the corrections, the first paragraph now ends in a comma, in the middle of an incomplete sentence. That's not good. Also, as noted in one of the other reviews, you should wikilink "recension". In addition, "serial order" isn't something that was mentioned in the other Upanishad article I worked
852:
would appear to describe them as still living with a family member or with family, in their hut (a "hut" monk, if you will), on page 765 of Deussen, but that description may not be in Bhikshuka. If there's anything more you can add to describe this type of monk, as a way of differentiating from the
840:
The first paragraph under History is still problematic, as I do not understand what "same in substance" means as written. The Deussen source mentions "chief points"; it appears that while both cover the same ground—I believe the four types of monks are the same in both?—they don't necessarily do it
879:
I checked the Sanskrit manuscripts and the Olivelle's Bhikshuka translation on page 236. For Kuticakas, we can only list the four names, eight mouthfuls and yogic path to moksha. Anything else may be WP:OR-synthesis. You are right about 'four types of monks' are same in Bhikshuka and Ashrama's 4th
746:
are these tracing to earlier works or to later ones? It's important to clarify this, especially as you're talking about "much later composed" (which should be displaced to after the Upanishads mention) that could be much later than the Vedic works but still earlier than
595:
monks do average eight mouthfuls a day over time, but never the same from day to day. If there's something more to it than what was written here, then you may need to change my revisions. (Do the urine and dung count in the mouthful total? It might be useful to clarify
856:
I still need to find the time to check more of the sources—at least, those that are available to me—but in the meantime you can work on the two issues that I've mentioned above, and also check to make sure that my edits did not do violence to the facts. Thanks.
934:
I reworded the 1st para of history section, and added a note of difference between the two texts. I picked the 'yogic path' detail because it is a significant difference that is present for all four monk types in the Bhikshuka, but missing in the Ashrama.
765:
I don't quite follow the chain of causation in this section, especially the final sentence, which is oddly phrased: each monk becomes "an end in himself"? How does that accord with the goal of attaining moksha, or advancing far on the path to attain
353:
But you've changed it to "is listed", which is again indirect: it could be that the title of the Upanishad is listed but the full contents are not included. Please be more careful: this is a GA review, so prose and meaning are very important.
632:
for Hamsa monks, is the injunction to stay only five nights in a town or no more than five nights in a town (and the same with the seven nights for a religious center)? It affects the wording if it could be fewer nights than the number
302:
In the Jabala Upanishad, the word is "Sannyasa"; here, the word is rendered "Samnyasa" but still links to "Sannyasa". I think consistency across articles is a good idea unless there's a very strong reason to avoid it.
376:": this is a different form of the word than I've seen before, and its orthography is different as well: instead of capitalized regular type, it's lowercase italics. Again, see Jabala, and try for consistency. 198:
Would it make sense to somehow incorporate the single sentence after the first paragraph into this first paragraph? OR maybe it should be structured that way, as I see it is the lead for the mendicant monks.
309:
They seem to be used as alternate spellings, not as synonyms. If they mean similar but not identical things, then why do they link to the same article? You haven't given a very strong reason to avoid it.
669:
in the final paragraph, I wasn't quite sure how to describe where they would be in/on/near a waterfall, so I took a guess; please check. I cannot make sense of the "just a square block"; please fix that.
424:
I'll get back to this when I can, but there are two other reviews I haven't yet posted anything to, and Jabala still to complete. It will probably take a few days; I am not a fast reviewer.
47: 710:
why is this section called "Reception"? This seems to be an analysis by (basically) one person, rather than how the text has been received (followed) over the centuries
254:
review, I'm going to go through all the sections, this time starting with the lead section; I will follow up with the others as I have time to finish and post them.
80: 533:
I did a copyedit of all but the first paragraph, which I think you need to straighten out on your own. Some issues that I couldn't solve in the text I did edit:
126: 70: 180:
Reopened - as I may have missed some issues as a new reviewer, and want to be sure all the criteria are covered, so have reopen for further reviewing.--
537:
I don't know why "Yoga" is capitalized; it certainly isn't in the "Yoga" article. I think lowercase is probably the best choice throughout the article.
122: 52: 107: 991:
Thank you very much for an outstanding review and promoting the article to GA. Much of the credit for compliance of review observations goes to
99: 614:
please check throughout for overlinking; I removed some duplicates in the course of my copyedit here, but I'm sure there are more examples
156: 573:
I ended up standardizing on having the four monk types in italics; if it should be all roman, then do that, but don't do a mixture
75: 848:
monk description is down to a list of names and the eight mouthfuls. Is there nothing more that distinguishes them? The
651:
for Paramhamsa monks, "aloofness" was an unusual descriptor; I've tried another word, which I hope is more appropriate
642:
Indeed. Clarified that this is not an injunction but a choice, and the right wording per sources is "no more". - MSW
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on, and I'm not sure why the phrase is being used. Are the Upanishads actually numbered in the Muktika?
359: 315: 810:
Thanks again. I have revised the lead and various sections. Go ahead with the next round of comments.
294:
Citations in the lead have been shifted to the main article with appropriate additions of texts -NVV
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Is there anything else I should be doing to have the article officially listed as GA? --
901:, it looks like I misread the Duessen about Kuticaras; page 765 (on Ashrama) says "The 719:
Changed it to Influence. If another section title would be better, please change. - MSW
287: 959:
So far as I can see, the article now meets the GA criteria. Since this is officially
605:
The sources do not clarify either way. Leaving this unanswered, to avoid WP:OR. - MSW
1071: 1050: 1033: 1021: 1008: 980: 968: 944: 914: 889: 866: 819: 793: 453: 433: 418: 363: 319: 271: 240: 219: 189: 174: 160: 971:, my congratulations on some excellent work in getting the article to this point. 350:
It is included in the South Indian Telugu anthologies. "Finds mention" changed
508:, or if they cover approximately the same facts with rather different wording. 379: 1062:, I just took care of the remaining steps per your approval. It's all set. 476:
It's best if "refers to" is together, and placed after "Indian tradition".
383: 963:'s review, it is up to him to decide whether to grant it GA status. 396:
I'm wondering why, if "Bhikshukopanishad" is an alternate title to "
262:
Thanks for the review comments. My response is marked with -MSW.
444:
I have addressed some issues. May like to clarify more, please.
692:
please identify Obeyesekere so we know why his thoughts matter
1024:- this has my approval and should be granted to GA status.-- 134: 103: 999:
for the formal approval to GA status. Thanks to all.
207:
Seems to be a lot of white space after For example.
555:
Please pick between "Chandrayana" and "Chānḍrāyaṇa"
403:
It is an alternate spelling. Italicicised now. -NVV
504:is basically a copy of the fourth chapter of the 306:Sannyasa and Samnyasa are used as synonym. - NVV 678:Olivelle states "by waterfall". Clarified. - MSW 286:To be a GA you have to meet the requirements of 8: 728:"beliefs ... is" should be "beliefs ... are" 853:others, I think it's important to include. 372:In the second paragraph, please check on " 30: 841:in the same way and with the same words. 61: 33: 336:Consistency is desirable. Fixed. - MSW 7: 24: 516:Section revised and retitled to 165:I plan to review this article.-- 591:based on the description, the 520:to reflect the contents. - MSW 400:", it is not also in italics. 298:There are also prose issues: 1: 231:- done for now on this one.-- 389:Yes, but what does it mean? 1092: 1072:16:13, 18 April 2016 (UTC) 1051:15:17, 18 April 2016 (UTC) 1034:11:09, 18 April 2016 (UTC) 1009:06:45, 18 April 2016 (UTC) 981:05:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC) 945:01:23, 13 April 2016 (UTC) 915:02:46, 12 April 2016 (UTC) 890:00:28, 12 April 2016 (UTC) 867:21:51, 11 April 2016 (UTC) 820:23:43, 29 March 2016 (UTC) 794:05:01, 28 March 2016 (UTC) 454:06:51, 25 March 2016 (UTC) 434:23:07, 21 March 2016 (UTC) 419:05:01, 28 March 2016 (UTC) 364:05:01, 28 March 2016 (UTC) 320:05:01, 28 March 2016 (UTC) 272:23:31, 29 March 2016 (UTC) 241:12:16, 21 March 2016 (UTC) 190:19:19, 20 March 2016 (UTC) 175:11:43, 19 March 2016 (UTC) 161:11:43, 19 March 2016 (UTC) 564:Chandrayana. Done. - MSW 18:Talk:Bhikshuka Upanishad 382:is a disambiguate to 246:Comments from others 502:Bhikshuka Upanishad 398:Bhikshuka Upanishad 995:. I am requesting 494:Chronology (-: --> 850:Ashrama Upanishad 546:Lowercased. - MSW 506:Ashrama Upanishad 203:Paramahamsa monks 89: 88: 1083: 1004: 933: 878: 809: 449: 252:Jabala Upanishad 230: 223: 216: 139: 130: 111: 43:Copyvio detector 31: 1091: 1090: 1086: 1085: 1084: 1082: 1081: 1080: 1002: 957: 927: 872: 832: 803: 775:Reworded. - MSW 689: 531: 497: 473: 447: 284: 248: 224: 217: 210: 120: 97: 91: 85: 57: 29: 22: 21: 20: 12: 11: 5: 1089: 1087: 1079: 1078: 1077: 1076: 1075: 1074: 1054: 1053: 1036: 1018:Ms Sarah Welch 1011: 993:Ms Sarah Welch 965:Ms Sarah Welch 956: 953: 952: 951: 950: 949: 948: 947: 937:Ms Sarah Welch 920: 919: 918: 917: 899:Ms Sarah Welch 893: 892: 882:Ms Sarah Welch 835:Ms Sarah Welch 831: 828: 827: 826: 825: 824: 823: 822: 812:Ms Sarah Welch 781: 780: 779: 778: 777: 776: 768: 767: 762: 761: 760: 759: 758: 757: 749: 748: 743: 742: 741: 740: 739: 738: 730: 729: 725: 724: 723: 722: 721: 720: 712: 711: 707: 706: 705: 704: 703: 702: 694: 693: 688: 685: 684: 683: 682: 681: 680: 679: 671: 670: 666: 665: 664: 663: 662: 661: 653: 652: 648: 647: 646: 645: 644: 643: 635: 634: 629: 628: 627: 626: 625: 624: 616: 615: 611: 610: 609: 608: 607: 606: 598: 597: 588: 587: 586: 585: 584: 583: 575: 574: 570: 569: 568: 567: 566: 565: 557: 556: 552: 551: 550: 549: 548: 547: 539: 538: 530: 527: 526: 525: 524: 523: 522: 521: 496: 492: 491: 490: 489: 488: 487: 486: 478: 477: 472: 469: 468: 467: 466: 465: 464: 463: 457: 456: 442:Ms Sarah Welch 422: 421: 406: 405: 404: 394: 393: 392: 391: 390: 370: 369: 368: 367: 366: 344: 343: 342: 341: 340: 339: 338: 337: 327: 326: 325: 324: 323: 322: 296: 295: 283: 280: 279: 278: 277: 276: 275: 274: 264:Ms Sarah Welch 247: 244: 213:Ms Sarah Welch 205: 204: 196: 195: 192: 140: 87: 86: 84: 83: 78: 73: 67: 64: 63: 59: 58: 56: 55: 53:External links 50: 45: 39: 36: 35: 28: 25: 23: 15: 14: 13: 10: 9: 6: 4: 3: 2: 1088: 1073: 1069: 1065: 1061: 1060:Doug Coldwell 1058: 1057: 1056: 1055: 1052: 1048: 1044: 1043:Doug Coldwell 1040: 1037: 1035: 1031: 1027: 1026:Doug Coldwell 1023: 1019: 1015: 1012: 1010: 1006: 1005: 998: 997:Doug Coldwell 994: 990: 987: 986: 985: 984: 983: 982: 978: 974: 970: 966: 962: 961:Doug Coldwell 954: 946: 942: 938: 931: 926: 925: 924: 923: 922: 921: 916: 912: 908: 904: 900: 897: 896: 895: 894: 891: 887: 883: 876: 871: 870: 869: 868: 864: 860: 854: 851: 847: 842: 838: 836: 829: 821: 817: 813: 807: 802: 801: 800: 799: 798: 797: 796: 795: 791: 787: 774: 773: 772: 771: 770: 769: 764: 763: 755: 754: 753: 752: 751: 750: 745: 744: 736: 735: 734: 733: 732: 731: 727: 726: 718: 717: 716: 715: 714: 713: 709: 708: 700: 699: 698: 697: 696: 695: 691: 690: 686: 677: 676: 675: 674: 673: 672: 668: 667: 659: 658: 657: 656: 655: 654: 650: 649: 641: 640: 639: 638: 637: 636: 631: 630: 622: 621: 620: 619: 618: 617: 613: 612: 604: 603: 602: 601: 600: 599: 594: 590: 589: 581: 580: 579: 578: 577: 576: 572: 571: 563: 562: 561: 560: 559: 558: 554: 553: 545: 544: 543: 542: 541: 540: 536: 535: 534: 528: 519: 515: 514: 513: 512: 511: 510: 509: 507: 503: 493: 484: 483: 482: 481: 480: 479: 475: 474: 470: 461: 460: 459: 458: 455: 451: 450: 443: 440: 439: 438: 437: 436: 435: 431: 427: 420: 416: 412: 407: 402: 401: 399: 395: 388: 387: 385: 381: 378: 377: 375: 371: 365: 361: 357: 352: 351: 349: 348: 346: 345: 335: 334: 333: 332: 331: 330: 329: 328: 321: 317: 313: 308: 307: 305: 304: 301: 300: 299: 293: 292: 291: 289: 281: 273: 269: 265: 261: 260: 259: 258: 257: 256: 255: 253: 245: 243: 242: 238: 234: 233:Doug Coldwell 228: 221: 214: 208: 202: 201: 200: 193: 191: 187: 183: 182:Doug Coldwell 179: 178: 177: 176: 172: 168: 167:Doug Coldwell 163: 162: 158: 155: 152: 148: 147:Doug Coldwell 145: 141: 138: 137: 133: 128: 124: 119: 118: 114: 109: 105: 101: 96: 95: 82: 79: 77: 74: 72: 69: 68: 66: 65: 60: 54: 51: 49: 46: 44: 41: 40: 38: 37: 32: 26: 19: 1000: 958: 902: 855: 849: 845: 843: 839: 833: 782: 756:Fixed. - MSW 737:Fixed. - MSW 660:It is. - MSW 592: 582:Fixed. - MSW 532: 517: 505: 501: 498: 485:Fixed. - MSW 445: 423: 397: 373: 297: 285: 282:Lead section 250:As with the 249: 209: 206: 197: 164: 153: 143: 142: 135: 131: 117:Article talk 116: 112: 93: 90: 81:Instructions 1064:BlueMoonset 1039:BlueMoonset 1014:BlueMoonset 989:BlueMoonset 973:BlueMoonset 930:BlueMoonset 907:BlueMoonset 875:BlueMoonset 859:BlueMoonset 830:Second pass 806:BlueMoonset 786:BlueMoonset 784:Thank you. 701:Done. - MSW 623:Done. - MSW 426:BlueMoonset 411:BlueMoonset 356:BlueMoonset 312:BlueMoonset 227:BlueMoonset 104:visual edit 955:Conclusion 747:Bhikshuka. 380:Sannyasins 374:sannyasins 48:Authorship 34:GA toolbox 903:Kuticaras 846:Kutichaka 687:Reception 471:Etymology 144:Reviewer: 71:Templates 62:Reviewing 27:GA Review 766:Brahman? 529:Contents 495:History) 384:Sannyasa 194:Contents 157:contribs 76:Criteria 1022:Nvvchar 1003:Nvvchar 969:Nvvchar 518:History 448:Nvvchar 288:WP:LEAD 220:Nvvchar 127:history 108:history 94:Article 633:given. 596:that.) 593:Hamsa 386:-NVV 136:Watch 16:< 1068:talk 1047:talk 1030:talk 1020:and 1016:and 977:talk 941:talk 911:talk 886:talk 863:talk 844:The 816:talk 790:talk 430:talk 415:talk 360:talk 316:talk 268:talk 237:talk 186:talk 171:talk 151:talk 123:edit 100:edit 1070:) 1049:) 1032:) 1007:. 979:) 967:, 943:) 913:) 888:) 865:) 818:) 792:) 452:. 432:) 417:) 362:) 318:) 270:) 239:) 188:) 173:) 159:) 125:| 106:| 102:| 1066:( 1045:( 1028:( 975:( 939:( 932:: 928:@ 909:( 884:( 877:: 873:@ 861:( 814:( 808:: 804:@ 788:( 428:( 413:( 358:( 314:( 266:( 235:( 229:: 225:@ 222:: 218:@ 215:: 211:@ 184:( 169:( 154:¡ 149:( 132:¡ 129:) 121:( 113:¡ 110:) 98:(

Index

Talk:Bhikshuka Upanishad
Copyvio detector
Authorship
External links
Templates
Criteria
Instructions
Article
edit
visual edit
history
Article talk
edit
history
Watch
Doug Coldwell
talk
contribs
11:43, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
Doug Coldwell
talk
11:43, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
Doug Coldwell
talk
19:19, 20 March 2016 (UTC)
Ms Sarah Welch
Nvvchar
BlueMoonset
Doug Coldwell
talk

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