631:. This is a very thoughtful and smart review. I am very grateful that you focused on the language because, as you also correctly figured out, this is the most complicated part of the article. My plan is to next take this for an FA review (perhaps between mid-December and early January). I will respond to your points in numerical format (to match the numbers in the above list); or, let me know how you best would prefer for me to respond.
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after the revisions made. While they weren't a problem for GA, the use of quotes as a whole is little much, and I do think a copy edit to try and help paraphrase the quotes would really make the prose brilliant. It's not far from FA quality, but still needs a bit of work. Considering how well you've
736:
Take your time with the rest of the points (you get 7 days for a reason, don't feel pressured). I think this will do well at FAC with some more work, particularly on MOS issues and use of quotes. The jump between FA and GA can be a very large one. For example, the GA criteria only require compliance
638:
The sources (Witzig & DK Publishing) do not make a distinction on the language variety, but Witzig does make a distinction on geography ("depending on which country you are visiting"). Perhaps the names could be considered a country-specific variation, but their use in other countries dismisses
649:
I feared the word "exploited" might be harsh, but I included the quote thinking it was a nice representation of cultural & economic exchange. Wilson's tone is very sour towards
Britain (despite he is English), but I think it may be because he is upset at the lack of development of the sport in
827:
for 7 days. Sorry about the heavy focus on languages, but that's what you get when you bring a sociolinguist into a discussion of language, haha. OVerall a very good article that I think needs to have its prose tightened. Try to paraphrase a number of the quotations, and be more precise about
574:
in particular. The repetition and use of quotes to describe the acclaim given for using the kick doesn't add much to the information I'm giving but tries to reinforce the idea that players who use it are popular which may be true but that's not really what people would be coming to this page
677:
The sources aren't that precise. I am not sure why. From discussion in a few football forums, people from
Britain have told me that they use "overhead kick" more than "bicycle kick" (which they associate as an American term). I considered source quality could be a problem, but even
663:
I think the paraphrase should be complete. I only left a couple of quotes in there (one is for "The Goal of the
Century," which is not really much of a quote as it is the name by which the goal is known, and the "wonder goal" quote for Ibrahimovic's very unique bicycle kick
749:
or criteria 1(a) since quotes interrupt the flow of prose and distract from encyclopedic tone. It may do very well though, I'm not an FA reviewer and my first nomination has only been open a few days so I'm far from an expert on it. That being said, I highly recommend a
614:
According to sports historian David
Goldblatt, South America "added a greater emphasis on individual trickery and dexterity, the continent's footballers claiming the invention of the bicycle kick and bending free kicks, and allotting pride of place to the individual
643:, where the sources do not make a distinction. Maybe they should; I have sent a few online letters to newspapers in the past suggesting them to conduct a formal study on what country uses what term (they don't seem to share my dedication to the subject).
606:-y. Give some thought to whether the quotations add something that can't be gotten from paraphrasing the sources. The rest of them though seem to add to the information but I do think fewer direct quotations are better in general.
639:
the idea (for example, the Castro source identifies them as synonyms and the Lati source considers the names are a matter of personal preference rather than tied to a particular variety of
Spanish). The same applies to
720:
as soon as possible. Please do let me know if you have any additional suggestions (or if there are any points that I may not have addressed correctly). Thanks again for the review!--
691:). I only left a few small quotes in the section (although I think the one in the last paragraph can also be removed, and probably will do so at some point in the near future).
514:
If the comment is numbered, it must be addressed for the article to pass, if it is bulleted, it's an optional suggestion or comment that you don't need to act on right now.
772:
Regarding 1 and 4, since the sources aren't that specific I will drop those; if that's the best information available, it's all you can be expected to put in the article.
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580:(These last three were going to be optional, but given the concerns above I'm going to make them required to be addressed but with a little lower burden.)
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I have only ever heard "bicycle kick" and I'd assume the others may be chiefly
British. But if the source isn't that precise, then it's not a problem.
551:
thus, in the words of
British sports journalist Jonathan Wilson, " exploited South America's natural resources, and in return they gave soccer."
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654:, it may just have been the general feeling he had at the time of writing this part of the book. I tried a paraphrase (
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Yes, I agree that a copyedit and peer review will be very useful. By the way, I had no idea that there existed a
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537:? If the source makes a distinction, it should be stated in the article. As a sub point, is the "neutral" term
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done so far though, I don't think it will be a big challenge. Keep up the good work and best of luck at FAC.
523:
This exception is most significant in
Spanish, where there exists a fierce controversy between Chile and Peru
442:
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801:. The article is a very informative and interesting read; I think it will do great in its FAC nomination.--
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of it. So while the quotes here are more of a question of neutrality, I could see objections based upon
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682:(Hollander 1980) finds no distinction (for "bicycle kick" it recommended to "see 'overhead kick'").
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I'm leaving this unstruck as a reminder to review quotation use in general throughout the article
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I understand and totally agree; thank you! The flow is better now with the paraphrased text (
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is a personal favorite), but I agree that the use of quotes in the article was approaching
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When I quote things, you can use ctrl+f to search the page for the specific line I quoted.
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What's the purpose of this quote? It feels out of place and a little POV (or at least
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well versed in the FA criteria and MOS can iron out the issues before
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Again, not entirely sure why this is quoted rather than paraphrased.
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The bicycle kick is known in
English by three different names
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before nominating for FA to make sure that people who
775:Regarding 2, I think the new wording is better.
590:Does the source differentiate the dialects? In
165:Will review later tonight or early tomorrow.
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741:but the FA criteria require compliance with
566:the use of quote seem to verge on violating
562:Throughout the article, but particularly in
465:B. Images are provided if possible and are
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598:The quotations in the first paragraph of
650:Britain during this time—I am not sure
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657:); please, let me know what you think.
828:languages that use the various terms.
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680:The American Encyclopedia of Soccer
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769:Anyway, to address your points,
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731:03:57, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
525:Is this distinction in every
282:appropriate reference section
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799:Black American Sign Language
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200:reasonably well written
600:Bicycle kick#Execution
541:widespread or only in
545:/Hispanola Spanishes?
336:broad in its coverage
564:Bicycle kick#acclaim
318:No original research
739:WP:Manual of Style
535:Peruvian Spanishes
527:variety of Spanish
269:factually accurate
699:The Ball is Round
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81:Instructions
756:WP:Copyedit
627:Thank you,
441:with their
213:", without
104:visual edit
805:MarshalN20
724:MarshalN20
703:ad nauseum
280:A. Has an
274:verifiable
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
849:Wugapodes
830:Wugapodes
781:Wugapodes
747:MOS:QUOTE
629:Wugapodes
615:dribble".
543:Castilian
411:edit wars
296:B. Cites
180:Checklist
167:Wugapodes
147:Wugapodes
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
623:Response
572:WP:UNDUE
555:WP:UNDUE
509:Comments
467:relevant
429:contain
427:Does it
215:copyvios
190:WP:WIAGA
157:contribs
76:Criteria
825:On Hold
820:Results
568:WP:NPOV
531:Chilean
488:Overall
413:, etc:
382:neutral
359:Focused
247:fiction
211:concise
127:history
108:history
94:Article
844:Listed
764:WP:FAC
716:, and
641:tijera
539:tijera
445:, and
439:tagged
431:images
404:stable
402:Is it
379:Is it
334:Is it
267:Is it
249:, and
239:layout
198:Is it
361:(see
251:lists
207:clear
136:Watch
16:<
853:talk
834:talk
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575:for.
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123:edit
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760:are
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652:why
409:No
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316:C.
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