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The article is well-illustrated. My one recommendation would be to move the images of
Epstein's neck injuries down to where it says "although there was blood on Epstein's neck..." That way the images feel more immediately relevant and further justifies the usage of mildly disturbing content (though I
173:
The article is quite good, but I just want to make sure that it treats alternative theories with the appropriate amount of weight. Unusually for an article like this, the alternative theories about
Epstein's death are believed by a large majority of Americans and by many politicians, of both parties.
1038:
The alternative theories are given due weight, which is an unusual thing to desire for these kinds of articles, but given their widespread popularity including among people like politicians, it is definitely appropriate. Evidence for all major claims, including statements from experts in relevant
1033:
The last sentence of the first paragraph should be removed, or moved to the last paragraph of the lead. Including it in the first paragraph provides undue weight, in my opinion, and the sentence also quite detailed in comparison to the rest of the paragraph. The alternative theories are given an
1130:
You are welcome! Since you responded adequately to all my comments I'll pass the nomination once someone else takes a look at the article's neutrality and makes a comment. Hopefully that won't take too long... if it's been two weeks I'll try find someone to do it. Cheers,
908:
Since most of these things are pretty simple fixes, you can just put a checkmark before/after them to indicate you have done them, or put a comment under them and quickly explain why you didn't want to make the change. Overall, the writing quality is pretty top-notch!
610:
I couldn't find a way to wedge it into the discovery section. I think it was only found after a deep sweep a few days later, if I'm correct. It's more pertinent to the "final weeks" section as it describes what his living conditions were like. ~
871:"Homicide suspicions and speculation" section should probably be "Homicide suspicions and conspiracy theories" or "Homicide suspicions, speculation and conspiracy theories". I think conspiracy theories are a bit more extreme than "speculation"
998:
I should note that "Many public figures accused the
Federal Bureau of Prisons of negligence and inefficiency." is a clear conclusion from the section 4.1 Reaction, and doesn't need a source in the lead, in my opinion.
757:"According to Baden the neck wound" → "According to Baden, the neck wound" This one is just a matter of taste I guess. What Baden says contains a comma, and thus I think it should be set off with some punctuation
635:"Epstein was reportedly depositing funds into other prisoners' accounts to gain their favor or buy protection." I don't know if this sentence is relevant, but if it is, it probably belongs earlier in the section.
642:
I think it makes the most sense to keep the information regarding the note, the funds, and the will in the same paragraph. It's just what he was up to in jail besides the July 27 incident. ~
1039:
fields, is provided and organized clearly. However, because this is a very unusual case, I am requesting comment from a more experienced editor as to whether my assessment here is accurate.
47:
929:"The guards on duty were later charged with conspiracy and record falsification." You mentioned with a citation they did falsify records, but not that they were charged correspondingly.
496:
All images are licensed permissively and appropriately. I ran the copyvio detector, which produced dailyhawker.com/all-about/jeffery-epstein, but that's just a copy of this article.
126:
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790:'to light." "The elements' Consider moving the later phrase "a spokesperson for the office told ABC News" in between these two quotes to make reading easier.
107:
70:
917:
Most challengeable claims in the lead have a corresponding (and cited) source in the body. Here are the ones which I believe require a citation somewhere:
578:"Psychological staff dismissed Epstein from suicide watch after six days following a psychiatric examination." → "After six days, psychological staff..."
99:
603:"A paper note by Epstein was ... clothes for an hour." I think this should be moved to "Discovery", as the time of the note's writing is not known.
1014:"... forthcoming." Probably should reuse the next citation; it's not clear that the next citation applies to the preceding sentence also.
589:"SHU" (first instance) → "special housing unit (SHU)". You mentioned the acronym's expansion later, so you just need to move that earlier
674:"which was initially reported as apparent suicide" I'm confused here; initially reported by whom and when? Also, "an" belongs after "as"
724:"Later conflicting reports" → "Later, conflicting reports" to make sure that Sampson's report is not considered a conflicting report
156:
202:
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968:"Consequently, Barr removed the Bureau's director" I don't see anywhere in the article which explains that she was removed.
115:
17:
1034:
entire paragraph in the lead, which I think is a good amount (taking into account their unusually widespread popularity).
713:"If it was posted by" → "If this 4chan post was by" Just to make sure that it's not conflated with the ABC News report
432:
I made a small ce to your expansion; please review that, and once you're ready I'll pass the nomination. Cheers,
92:
829:"use the footage to demonstrate his character while he allegedly saved Epstein" Confusing, probably rewrite
1136:
1090:
768:"Later on August 13" → "On August 13" Because it implies that the previous statement was made on Aug. 13
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735:'Adam's apple".' → 'Adam's apple."' I think MOS:LQ dictates this, though I may be wrong
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The sources are all of high-quality, which is a requisite for this kind of article.
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Overall, it is very well balanced for such a controversial topic. My only comment:
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That's about it; let me know if you have any questions. Awesome work! Cheers,
904:
In references: Otterson, Joe is cited as the author of a single source twice
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I'm confused here too. I just removed it - it was out of place anyway. ~
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I think the popular culture section is too short compared to the rest.
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I also expanded the French paragraph with some recent developments. ~
1045:
I removed the sentence, but still kept the mention of Baden. ~
368:
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the
1110:
I really appreciate this review. April 8 seems so long ago. ~
545:"victims the FBI identified" → "victims identified by the FBI"
882:"ago - they" should use an em-dash, which I've fixed for you
832:'his death by "apparent suicide"' → 'his "apparent suicide"'
518:
No edit wars in recent times, despite the controversiality
893:
In references: "USA TodaaODAY" is a (rather amusing) typo
556:"Tartaglione in connection" → "Tartaglione of connection"
936:
I'm kind of confused here... Is that what you wanted? ~
779:"Sen. Lindsey Graham has" → "Senator Lindsey Graham had"
134:
103:
567:"to take his own life were" → "to kill himself were"
8:
1073:As I noted earlier, the article is stable.
1018:I have put in tags for these three items.
1002:Other things that need a citation element:
525:Looks good! 01:42, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
30:
1082:think they are 100% appropriate anyway).
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33:
485:Article seems to be in very good shape
7:
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975:It's now covered in section 4.1 ~
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533:I only have a few comments here.
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600:In , "ball-point" → "ballpoint"
839:I just changed it to death. ~
462:22:25, 21 September 2020 (UTC)
442:22:07, 21 September 2020 (UTC)
421:21:24, 21 September 2020 (UTC)
400:16:44, 12 September 2020 (UTC)
1:
1141:21:41, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
1126:16:10, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
1095:02:50, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
1061:15:18, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
991:16:33, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
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697:15:34, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
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18:Talk:Death of Jeffrey Epstein
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161:23:54, 31 August 2020 (UTC)
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472:Immediate failure criteria
507:No such banners/templates
169:Second opinion requested
405:I expanded it a bit. ~
370:Good Article criteria
342:free or tagged images
195:review progress box
372:. Criteria marked
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446:Looks great. ~
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117:Article talk
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81:Instructions
1077:Criterion 6
1069:Criterion 5
1025:Criterion 4
913:Criterion 2
529:Criterion 1
295:broadness (
147:Ovinus Real
104:visual edit
392:Trillfendi
233:ref layout
174:Comments?
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
516:Approved
505:Approved
494:Approved
483:Approved
203:Criteria
157:contribs
76:Criteria
316:neutral
305:focus (
209:prose (
127:history
108:history
94:Article
1133:Ovinus
1087:Ovinus
434:Ovinus
428:HAL333
329:stable
245:cites
176:Ovinus
275:WP:CV
261:WP:OR
247:WP:RS
136:Watch
16:<
1137:talk
1107:Done
1091:talk
438:talk
396:talk
352:6b.
339:6a.
303:3b.
293:3a.
271:2d.
257:2c.
243:2b.
230:2a.
217:1b.
207:1a.
180:talk
151:talk
123:edit
100:edit
1121:333
1114:HAL
1056:333
1049:HAL
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979:HAL
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940:HAL
850:333
843:HAL
808:333
801:HAL
692:333
685:HAL
653:333
646:HAL
622:333
615:HAL
457:333
450:HAL
416:333
409:HAL
326:5.
313:4.
273:no
259:no
220:MoS
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125:|
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102:|
1135:(
1089:(
1012:Y
966:Y
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902:Y
891:Y
880:Y
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777:Y
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