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2288:. I really do appreciate it. I've tried to answer your queries, but am a bit confused by some of them. Please don't worry about being critical, that is why we are here, to critique and improve the article. I'm perfectly happy to discuss and make any changes that do that. Please review the answers and let me know how to proceed.
142:
1582:, and I'll be doing this review. This is an automated message that helps keep the bot updating the nominated article's talkpage working and allows me to say hi. Feel free to reach out and, if you think the review has gone well, I have some open GA nominations that you could (but are under no obligation to) look at.
2081:
According to the source, she "could be both a patron and a pill, exerting her control" and was involved in several lawsuits with family and neighbors over money matters. Contentious, i.e. "exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes" (Merriam-Webster, online) seems to
2032:
The article does need to be tightly focused on the subject - obviously family is relevant, but her mother shouldn't be treated as the primary subject, her coverage should be in relation to
Elisabeth. It starts to read like it's the other way around here. I'll read it again to see if there's anything
2017:
I do not understand your direction. Elisabeth's birth information does come first, and then a discussion of her family origins. This is typical in biographies to set the context. I have relabeled the section to include "family" and moved the start of commentary on her mother to a new paragraph. If
2187:
One by one, the brothers went to the United States, where they created a successful international tobacco business, with Joseph in New
Orleans; Pierre working along the Gulf Coast; Jules operating in Veracruz, Mexico; Ernest located in Antwerp; and eventually Edouard settling into the business in
2047:
As an aside, I did look at whether there was enough information to do a separate article on the mother and concluded not. I felt that if one were created, the result of an AfD discussion would be to merge the information into an article on her daughter or grandsons. Perhaps it wouldn't have, but
2326:. In this virus situation, I figure we are all doing the best we can. Just a tiny query, will you update the unassessed items in the template so that someone else doesn't conclude that you did not review them? Truly am appreciative of your help in improving the article and thank you so much.
2302:
Thanks both for the edits, I didn't think you'd need much more prompting or guidance, sorry if it felt I wasn't responding - I agree that
Elisabeth's mother likely wouldn't manage an article of her own, and the little rearrangements have improved how that part reads. I also find the legacy
1799:
Lead needs some style work - more like a short version of the article than a true overview. Less 'storytelling' sentences would help. Also needs to establish notability (this seems to be 'there's a lot of records/study of her for a free black woman', which should be written out rather than
2581:
1911:
The article uses nothing written by an editor at Find A Grave, merely a photograph which lists their names and dates on their tombstone and confirming their burial place. That the stone is actually in that particular cemetery is confirmed by the
2082:
capture that. I have changed it to "They lived with
Peillon, but the relationship was difficult because of her controlling and litigious nature", but if that is unsatisfactory, please make a suggestion and I'll be happy to consider it.
2009:
Early life: Most of this is about her mother, which belongs in a different section (family, ancestry, or something similar). Separating out the details of
Elisabeth's birth and life and putting them first would at least help
1869:
Image caption does not need 'prior to 1883'. She died in 1883, it is assumed the photo was took before she died (I know there were some post mortem portraits taken, but as the exception, that would be something
2226:
The story of
Vincent and her family add layers not only to the history of statelessness and citizenship, but also to the depth of our knowledge of the impact of legal status and paperwork on people of color
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I've reworked the legacy section. If you have specific issues, please point me to specific problems. I am quite happy to make changes to improve the article, but am confused by vague instruction.
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Section headers are weak or flowery, or both. "Sojourn to the United States"? How about 'Immigration'. "French interlude" → Settlement in France. And "Belgium" could easily be 'Later life'.
1966:
I don't think the examples you gave, other than later life are accurate. She immigrated numerous times, and their stay in France proved to be temporary. I labeled them "in X" throughout.
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you are saying her entire biography needs to come first and then the information on her background, I would disagree--family isn't a separate part of a life it is an integral part.
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A quick shows that there is a promotional tone. While contributions shouldn't be underplayed, phrasing like "Her history enriches our knowledge" are not neutral.
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is a bit flowery. I've made some copyedits in this section to make it sound less narrative - if similar work could be done here, that would be great.
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Nr. 94 2016 article. If there were another record available, giving Joseph's death date, I would have used it, but at this time, have found nothing.
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again need to be considered for neutrality but also need to be attributed inline to who is saying this. The whole last paragraph needs attention.
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sufficient, since there's now a few more concrete statements about how the recording of her life impacted areas of study. Looks good.
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Besides the often-uncertain sourcing on Find A Grave, sources look suitable (should replace find a grave with something else)
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and related articles on
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coup d'etat doesn't need a wikilink or to be in italics, since it is also
English (a borrowing, but still an English word)
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Comments above, some phrasing concerns, but mostly the lead and legacy need attention.
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Add the year again at the start of this section to make it a bit more standalone
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Removed 1 image, if you'd like other images removed, advise which ones. Thanks.
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would probably be better as two (also, Mexico and Antwerp aren't in the US)
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Lead also much too long for the article length in general
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As stated above, reworked the entire section. Advise.
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Too many images, of which some are really irrelevant.
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regarding their contributions before making changes.
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1601:Good Article
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1528:Instructions
1464:
1417:Women in Red
1407:Women in Red
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530:Project Talk
518:
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424:
395:welcome page
387:project page
376:
311:
271:
265:Haiti portal
206:
202:
154:
94:WikiProjects
52:
43:please do so
31:
30:
26:
1914:Nieuwsbrief
1703:broadness (
1542:transcluded
461:New Orleans
2351:Categories
2033:specific.
1800:inferred).
1641:ref layout
1495:Authorship
1481:GA toolbox
391:discussion
207:photograph
37:under the
1554:Reviewer:
1518:Templates
1509:Reviewing
1474:GA Review
457:Louisiana
400:Caribbean
383:Caribbean
339:Caribbean
174:Biography
113:Biography
2100:France:
1611:Criteria
1578:Hi, I'm
1567:contribs
1523:Criteria
1316:business
1131:Business
1122:business
1078:Business
1026:Politics
1017:politics
973:Politics
84:GA-class
47:reassess
2324:Kingsif
2310:Kingsif
2286:Kingsif
2268:Kingsif
2264:On hold
2253:Overall
2035:Kingsif
1870:noted).
1724:neutral
1713:focus (
1617:prose (
1584:Kingsif
1580:Kingsif
1557:Kingsif
1352:on the
1263:on the
1158:on the
1053:on the
948:on the
859:on the
832:Belgium
823:Belgium
779:Belgium
754:on the
569:on the
427:on the
314:on the
2328:SusunW
2290:SusunW
2237:SusunW
2208:SusunW
2167:SusunW
2125:SusunW
2084:SusunW
2050:SusunW
2020:SusunW
1993:SusunW
1968:SusunW
1943:SusunW
1918:SusunW
1888:SusunW
1853:SusunW
1818:SusunW
1737:stable
1653:cites
727:France
718:France
674:France
535:Alerts
90:scale.
54:Review
1683:WP:CV
1669:WP:OR
1655:WP:RS
1544:from
287:Haiti
278:Haiti
234:Haiti
211:added
203:image
2332:talk
2314:talk
2294:talk
2272:talk
2241:talk
2212:talk
2204:Done
2171:talk
2163:Done
2129:talk
2121:Done
2088:talk
2070:US:
2054:talk
2039:talk
2024:talk
1997:talk
1972:talk
1947:talk
1922:talk
1892:talk
1884:Done
1857:talk
1849:Done
1822:talk
1814:Done
1760:6b.
1747:6a.
1711:3b.
1701:3a.
1679:2d.
1665:2c.
1651:2b.
1638:2a.
1625:1b.
1615:1a.
1588:talk
1561:talk
1458:'s "
1344:High
1255:High
940:High
163:and
1734:5.
1721:4.
1681:no
1667:no
1628:MoS
1150:Mid
1045:Mid
851:Mid
746:Low
561:Low
419:Low
306:Mid
209:be
205:or
49:it.
2353::
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1564:·
1559:(
1356:.
1267:.
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1057:.
952:.
863:.
758:.
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431:.
318:.
171:.
96:.
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.
