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1619:"James Beckett of Anime News Network was critical of the early chapters due to the writing of their multiple fight scenes, but lauded the narratives of Lunafreya and Noctis as superior to the game and a fine send-off for them despite there being too many plot elements for a comfortable resolution in the final chapter" -: -->
1658:
I think I've dealt with the stuff you raised. I tried condensing some bits of the plot a little further, and I removed the "Terraflare" bits as they weren't essential. Also realised I hadn't introduced either
Insomnia or the Great War of Old before mentioning them, so did that. Sorry about the proper
1889:
Did my best with these hopefully final points. And don't be too concerned about it being confusing after this. This is a plot which requires the reader to know...a game, a movie, an ONA, four DLC episodes, several post-game additions, a multiplayer story campaign, and supplementary lore scattered
1631:"Both Anime UK and Triezenberg faulted the thematic changes compared to the content of Final Fantasy XV, drawing comparisons between the theme of sacrifice from the game, and themes of defying fate from Fabula Nova Crystallis Final Fantasy which Final Fantasy XV formed a part of" -: -->
1418:
I'm big on stating the obvious in the first sentence and giving the most basic context. Even something as simple as "Final
Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future was originally planned as downloadable content for the role-playing game Final Fantasy XV." (full stop.) Then get into
1452:"Author Emi Nagashima was selected for the project, due to their experience writing supplementary materials for Final Fantasy XIII and Nier Automata. Writing under the pen name Jun Eishima, Nagashima based the novel on materials from the Final Fantasy XV development team."
546:
1394:"The novel's narrative was originally planned as a downloadable content tetralogy for release through 2019, but due to internal restructures and the departure of project leader Hajime Tabata, only the first part Episode Ardyn was completed. " -: -->
917:
1513:" In the midst of a war between the Niflheim empire and the free kingdom of Lucis over control of the magical Crystal, a plague called the Starscourge is spreading over Eos, turning native life into Daemons and lengthening the nights." -: -->
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1451:"The novel was written by Emi Nagashima (under the pen name Jun Eishima), who had written supplementary materials for Final Fantasy XIII and Nier Automata, based on materials provided by the Final Fantasy XV development team" -: -->
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nouns and detail dumps, but I couldn't get it to work any other way. Doesn't help that a chunk of the game's backstory isn't explained at all, so it's like trying to make a late-stage MCU film understandable to a newcomer. --
1867:
Re-reading the plot, I think it's generally reading pretty well. But not sure how much of that is just learning more each time I read. Either way, this should be enough to get you to GA status. Thanks for your work on this.
1277:
1439:"At the time of cancellation, Episode Ardyn was almost complete, the scenario for Episode Aranea was finalised, the narrative of Episode Luna was almost finished, and Episode Noctis was still in the drafting stage." -: -->
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1395:"The novel's narrative was originally planned as episodic content Final Fantasy XV in 2019, but only the first episode was completed due to the departure of key staff such as project leader Hajime Tabata."
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Same thing with the first sentence of the second paragraph – with the long aside between the hyphens –. Maybe have a sentence introducing the characters, a second sentence introducing the plot (or vice
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I restored this article because it's very nice and would be a shame to lose all this detail just over lack of reviews. It was delayed to July 14 so reviews/coverage might show up after then.
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1620:"James Beckett of Anime News Network was critical of how the fight scenes and resolution were written, but still lauded the narratives of Lunafreya and Noctis as superior to the game."
1017:
1741:
maybe clarify that the novel is non-canon then? One more sentence would explain this. Also, this might make more sense in the development section, rather than the plot or setting.
1561:"Lunafreya, having sacrificed herself to further Noctis's journey, is revived by Bahamut in a tomb on the Niflheim continent, meeting Solara while running from Daemons" -: -->
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1402:
It would be helpful to note what the change in tone was. It seems like the game was meant to be more dark, while this was supposed to provide an alternative happier ending?
1440:
is it important to detail the status of every episode, or can we just say "Episode Adryn was almost complete, while the other episodes were in various states of drafting."
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This is sort of a sentence fragment that turns into a run on sentence. It might be better to just have individual sentences for each character, for readability.
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I think I got everything. One thing, the recap would've been inaccurate since
Niflheim didn't exist when Ardyn's story begins, so I tried rephrasing it. --
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1569:"Lunafreya fails to win Ardyn over, but manages to purge Ifrit of the Starscourge and forge a Covenant with him, but doing this overwhelms her. " -: -->
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across various books. On top of about two thirds of XV's planned scenario being cut. I'm not surprised it's hard to understand in a vacuum. --
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Did something equivalent, there's nothing in the sources about why
Nagashima was hired, only confirmation that she'd worked with them before.
1110:-related merchandise and video games on Knowledge (XXG). If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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1719:"based the novel on materials from the Final Fantasy XV development team. Osanai gave his original draft to Nagashima to work from" -: -->
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1573:"When Noctis arrives, he is forced to fight her Daemonic form, then sees Bahamut use her darkness to begin charging Teraflare." -: -->
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1637:
Let's work through that. We will probably need one more good pass, but I'm confident this can get to GA with some work and patience.
1305:
38:
1517:"a figure called the True King will cleanse Eos by uniting the power of the Astrals and the Crystal at the cost of his life" -: -->
1443:"and discussions as to whether the public should be told. It was eventually decided to announce their cancellation publicly" -: -->
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Anyone in Japan review this? Because once
English languages reviewers do, this would be a beautiful GA. Just thinking out loud.
1434:
He was director of XV, and producer of its post-release content, so removing the "later" would make it an inaccurate statement.
1444:"After internal discussions about what to tell the public, they finally announced that the remaining episodes were cancelled."
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The story section has a lot of proper nouns and magical concepts. It's a hard read but I'm hoping this first pass will help.
1518:"a figure called the True King will sacrifice himself to cleanse Eos, by uniting the power of the Astrals and the Crystal."
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Thanks for your work on this, and I can see how the plot is just hard to begin with. I think one more pass should do it.
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since this is the first time you're mentioning this proper noun, maybe give it some context. (e.g: city of
Insomnia)
1720:"based the novel on materials from the Final Fantasy XV development team, including an original draft from Osanai."
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This is honestly still a hard read, but it is significantly better than before. Thanks for working on this.
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1612:"The English version of the novel was announced for June 23, 2020 through Square Enix Books & Manga,"
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The very first sentence runs on quite a bit. Is it possible to pull a part or two into the next sentence?
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on
Knowledge (XXG). If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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1553:"she is entrusted by the Niflheim soldier Loqi Tummelt with escorting a young girl to safety" -: -->
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1422:"as a final closure to the game's universe, tying up loose ends in the narrative and lore." -: -->
1749:
what does this mean? Does he try to talk to the crystal, or is it more of an unspoken connection?
1562:
this runs on with a lot of commas. Try a rephrase, and maybe even breaking it into two sentences.
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1565:"Lunafreya begins to question her mission through Solara's critical view of the Astrals," -: -->
1177:
https://www.theoasg.com/reviews/light-novel/final-fantasy-xv-the-dawn-of-the-future-review/20010
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1616:"while the digital version was still released on the original date" (I'm guessing it came out)
1611:"The novel's planned English was June 23, 2020 through Square Enix Books & Manga, " -: -->
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1549:"before deciding to help save as many as possible in Gralea and neighbouring Tenebrae" -: -->
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1607:"An English version of the novel was confirmed as being in production in early 2019" -: -->
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dropping this would make the sentence flow better and probably won't lose much information
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1849:"which is overseen by a divine race called the Astrals and populated by humans." -: -->
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1752:"and after being tortured and returned to Angelgard by Bahamut vows to destroy" -: -->
1530:
you say fate twice close together here. Maybe it's time just say what that decree was?
1931:
1853:"Ardyn's appeal to the Crystal is repulsed due to the Starscourge in his body" -: -->
1615:"while the digital version was still planned for release on the original date" -: -->
1577:"ritual in his place, then with the aid of his friends Noctis frees Lunafreya" -: -->
1187:
https://www.rpgfan.com/feature/rpgfan-chapters-novel-coverage-the-dawn-of-the-future/
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1753:"and after being tortured and returned to Angelgard by Bahamut, he vows to destroy"
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is it ok to say "the game's director and producer", or would that be inaccurate?
1172:
The following references may be useful when improving this article in the future:
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Done what was mentioned above I think, with the two exceptions/altered bits. --
1182:
https://animeuknews.net/2020/09/final-fantasy-xv-the-dawn-of-the-future-review/
1554:"the Niflheim soldier Logi Tummelt asks her to escort a young girl to safety."
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1578:"ritual in his place. With the aid of his friends, Noctis frees Lunafreya..."
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1745:"Ardyn Lucis Caelum is the Chancellor of Niflheim, and a healer..." (recap)
1331:. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
1632:
this one is pretty long too and might benefit from a more focused summary.
1904:
Thanks again for your patience and hard work. Happy to give this a pass.
293:
1542:
this is odd phrasing. Maybe "The episode ends before the final battle" ?
1398:"but its thematic changes from the game saw negative reactions." -: -->
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1581:"and destroys Bahamut's spiritual form before his spirit fades" -: -->
1780:
The reception should probably be a full heading and not a subheading.
319:
1399:"but criticized the changes in tone from the game's original story."
1716:"Square hired the author Emi Nagashima, who had previously written"
1795:
That should get us all the way there hopefully. Let's keep going.
1550:"before trying to save lives in Gralea and neighbouring Tenebrae."
1362:
Ready to take on another one of these. More comments coming soon.
606:
1850:"where humans are overseen by a divine race called the Astrals."
1834:
There are a few minor issues. Hope it's not too much of a pain.
1533:"An attack he stages in Insomnia is stalled by Bahamut," -: -->
1740:"canon option was for Ardyn to accept Bahamut's decree" -: -->
1704:"story and universe" (easier to understand closure to a story)
1541:"The scene changes to before the intended final battle" -: -->
1231:
Any news on reviews, Japanese or
English? Audio book reviews?
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1608:"Work on an English translation was confirmed in early 2019."
1603:"demand outstripped the supplies Square Enix prepared" -: -->
1570:
all the commas makes this one choppy. Rephrase / break apart?
1566:
are you trying to say that Solara's criticism influences her?
1854:
still having trouble understanding what is happening here.
1514:
this one runs on a bit. Maybe break it into two sentences?
1534:"Bahamut blocks him as he attempts an attack in Insomnia"
1462:
That should be a good start. Thanks for working on this.
1604:"Square Enix ran out of inventory due to popular demand"
1529:"accept the Astral Bahamut's decree on his fate" -: -->
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155:, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
1423:"to provide closure to the game's story and lore."
1574:struggling to understand who is doing what to who
1329:Talk:Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future/GA1
45:. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
8:
793:Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
1760:"Lunafreya fails to convince Ardyn" -: -->
1599:"sold through Square Enix's stores" -: -->
1582:"and destroying Bahamut's spiritual form."
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27:Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future
1744:"Ardyn Lucis Caelum is a healer" -: -->
1447:"Square Enix were looking into " -: -->
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1845:"was settled on by March 2018" -: -->
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1783:"The novel's planned English" -: -->
1100:This article is within the scope of
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542:Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted
149:This article is within the scope of
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1968:Low-importance Square Enix articles
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92:It is of interest to the following
1953:Low-importance video game articles
1624:"the novel could be enjoyable for
913:The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
14:
41:. If you can improve it further,
1973:WikiProject Square Enix articles
1958:WikiProject Video games articles
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1756:"During his ten slumber" -: -->
1525:"the original narrative" -: -->
1140:This article has been rated as
189:This article has been rated as
1784:i think a word is missing here
1736:"Additionally a plague" -: -->
937:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
29:has been listed as one of the
1:
1963:GA-Class Square Enix articles
1938:Knowledge (XXG) good articles
1919:15:52, 16 November 2022 (UTC)
1900:09:32, 16 November 2022 (UTC)
1878:01:53, 16 November 2022 (UTC)
1846:"was completed by March 2018"
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1805:01:32, 15 November 2022 (UTC)
1669:09:02, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
1647:04:05, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
1526:"the original game narrative"
1493:17:29, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
1472:16:59, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
1372:18:30, 10 November 2022 (UTC)
1354:18:30, 10 November 2022 (UTC)
1114:and see a list of open tasks.
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494:List of generation IX Pokémon
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163:and see a list of open tasks.
1948:GA-Class video game articles
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1703:"universe and story" -: -->
1687:Nothing to add. Great work.
897:No did you know nominations
1989:
1787:"reading of events" -: -->
1426:"was being handled" -: -->
1146:project's importance scale
901:Reviews and reassessments
195:project's importance scale
1943:Video games good articles
1711:"scrapped content" -: -->
1707:"planned scenario" -: -->
1595:"It released both" -: -->
1448:"Square Enix looked into"
1249:16:59, 18 July 2020 (UTC)
1212:14:47, 23 June 2020 (UTC)
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1737:"Additionally, a plague"
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755:The King of Fighters '99
665:Pokémon Sword and Shield
579:Puff-puff (onomatopoeia)
506:Mario Party: The Top 100
1757:ten year slumber maybe?
1103:WikiProject Square Enix
949:A Space for the Unbound
845:The Great Giana Sisters
463:Minecraft – Volume Beta
223:Video games WikiProject
208:Video games WikiProject
152:WikiProject Video games
1537:"Ardyn rebels," -: -->
1036:translation from japan
779:Fan-made Pokémon games
359:SuperBot Entertainment
82:This article is rated
57:: November 16, 2022. (
980:Articles that need...
86:on Knowledge (XXG)'s
39:good article criteria
1712:"unfinished content"
1545:"reminiscing" -: -->
1538:"Ardyn resists," (?)
1521:"They are..." -: -->
1126:Square Enix articles
617:Shin Megami Tensei V
479:No major discussions
1557:"takes down" -: -->
175:video game articles
1596:"It was published"
1500:Let's keep going.
703:Yoshi's New Island
144:Video games portal
88:content assessment
1857:"Insomnia" -: -->
1761:convince of what?
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1311:Instructions
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372:Ryo Sakazaki
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94:WikiProjects
52:
43:please do so
31:
30:
26:
1772:Publication
1591:Publication
1546:"lamenting"
1325:transcluded
1117:Square Enix
1108:Square Enix
1080:Square Enix
1024:screenshots
741:Async Corp.
565:Donkey Kong
443:Screen Rant
366:participant
221:Summary of
210:open tasks:
206:Summary of
166:Video games
157:video games
113:Video games
1932:Categories
1892:ProtoDrake
1818:ProtoDrake
1695:Background
1661:ProtoDrake
1485:ProtoDrake
1410:Background
1278:Authorship
1264:GA toolbox
1235:ProtoDrake
986:assessment
831:River Raid
518:The Sims 4
467:discussion
457:discussion
447:discussion
417:Vector TDx
307:Butterfree
225:open tasks
37:under the
1862:same idea
1558:"defeats"
1337:Reviewer:
1301:Templates
1292:Reviewing
1257:GA Review
1198:Reception
1018:cover art
1012:infoboxes
689:Ether One
627:Justin Yu
530:Smash Hit
1350:contribs
1306:Criteria
1042:creation
429:relisted
410:relisted
294:Dokibird
84:GA-class
47:reassess
1842:"story"
1419:detail.
1391:versa)?
1144:on the
1047:merging
1026:(8,818)
1006:cleanup
859:Pikachu
333:Neo Geo
255:vg talk
245:history
193:on the
1030:photos
961:Tetris
320:Bidoof
260:alerts
90:scale.
54:Review
1628:fans"
1327:from
1038:(190)
1020:(249)
879:start
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851:start
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813:start
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681:start
657:start
643:start
607:Birdo
599:start
585:start
571:start
265:purge
250:shell
235:watch
1915:talk
1896:talk
1874:talk
1822:talk
1801:talk
1728:Plot
1679:Lead
1665:talk
1643:talk
1505:Plot
1489:talk
1468:talk
1379:Lead
1368:talk
1344:talk
1245:talk
1223:talk
1208:talk
1032:(66)
1014:(21)
275:AfDs
240:edit
230:view
1136:Low
1008:(8)
1002:(0)
992:) (
967:rev
954:rev
942:nom
930:nom
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825:nom
759:nom
707:nom
669:nom
631:nom
621:nom
611:nom
547:nom
535:nom
523:nom
511:nom
499:nom
185:Low
49:it.
1934::
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1913:(
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96::
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