1233:"At 716 mm (28.2 in) long, the skull of Kelenken is the largest known of any bird" is remarkably specific to describe a whole genus. Is the holotype skull the only skull? (Same question for the other bones.) If so, it would be good to state this explicitly here. At any rate, I would suggest a tweak to "the skull of the holotype specimen" or similar to remove the implication all individuals had skulls within a mm of each other. ("first specimen" in the preceding paragraph did suggest there were multiple specimens, so this tone shift is a bit confusing.)
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slightly off topic are both small and potentially justified by a paucity of specific information (3b), neutral (4), stable (5), and images are relevant, licensed, and captioned (6a,b). My main concern is potential close paraphrasing in some areas (2d). Putting on hold. I hope one day to read an article on the namesake spirit.
1839:
The newer papers don't seem to say anything new about these particular outcrops, but do not express doubt about the age of this formation around
Comallo, so I've just made the wording a bit less doubtful by removing "thought to belong". But either way, it was only preliminarily studied at the time,
1148:
An unlinked name (Guillermo
Aguirre-Zabala) feels odd in the lead, especially with no further information about who they are. Scrolling down to the body and then back up, I would suggest adding "high school student" before the name, which gets across interesting info in a way that an unadorned name
2049:
The
Bertelli 2007 abstract specifically mentions "known by a single specimen", if that might help with any later c/e. However, not going to let that hold back this stage. I've made some copyedits at the remaining areas that seemed too close to the sources, which I believe maintain fidelity to the
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I am inclined to agree that anatomical descriptions are not as necessary to try and rewrite, given the need for accuracy and the reasonably standard way descriptions are worded in literature. I didn't raise most instances of descriptive similarities, and tweaking the non-anatomical prose would be
1910:
Overall, a very detailed article and pleasing (if dense) to read. The writing is technical but that seems appropriate for the topic (1a), nothing jumps out about MOS (1b), all information when checked was present in the sources (2a,b,c), appropriately broad (3a), minor concerns regarding straying
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Some description text also seems close to
Bertelli et al. 2007 (eg. "a supraorbital ossification...that fit into a socket of the postorbital process"), however I am unsure how else this might be worded so don't think I will insist on a rewrite there. Other parts, like the sentence starting "These
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is linked nowhere in the prose), and would suggest the size comparison image simply be cropped to remove
Brontornis rather than the reader needing to rely on the caption for what should be a simple visual aid. That said, these are general points and not GAN issues. Looking forward to looking into
1174:
Unsure about the "TOWN, Patagonia" construction, as it implies
Patagonia is an administrative area. I see from source titles that Patagonia is mentioned as a location, but I don't see an immediate link between Patagonia and Keleken outside of a link to the Tehuelche people. Patagonia is a large
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Thanks, often I request a copyedit to get the text shaken up a bit so the wording gets further away from the sources. But in general, it's just very difficult to reword for example anatomical description (particularly diagnostic features) without changing the meaning too much.
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Since no other specimens are mentioned in either the paper or this article, only the holotype, I think it goes without saying? The paper doesn't specifically say there is a single known specimen, but that should be inherent in the fact that only one is mentioned, like here.
1487:
There are complete skulls of small phorusrhacids known, so
Kelenken just makes it easier to compare them with those of larger members, which is clarified in the second paragraph under Description. But made it clearer with "which hampered comparison between phorusrhacid
1312:"Studies of the related Andalgalornis show that large phorusrhacids had very rigid and stiff skulls that indicate they may have swallowed small prey whole or targeted larger prey with repetitive strikes with the beak." Suggest splitting this into two sentences.
1648:"Kelenken was the largest known phorusrhacid" suggests to me a larger one was discovered since, but I can't see that in the text. The same tense is used in "Kelenken was about 10% larger", but not used in "making it the largest skull of any known bird".
1054:
Hi, thanks for review and good suggestions, I have linked more names that were only linked in the cladogram. As for the size diagram, I'm only using the current one as a placeholder because someone is working on a better, more accurate one only showing
1204:"The discovery of Kelenken made the anatomy of large members of its group clearer, since these were previously much less well known." This could use some tweaking, I think it's suggesting that Kelenken improved understanding of terror birds as a whole?
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Hello, beginning the review of this article. It's certainly been elevated from its start class origins. The
Paleoenvironment section is quite a nice idea for background info. I note a few more wikilinks could be added (eg.
1892:
The one about contemporary animals? It's a common feature of palaeontology articles, to establish context, and here, hinting what could have been potential prey animals, though the sources don't do so specifically.
1063:) rather than trying to salvage the one in the article, which isn't very good. I can also just remove it for now, if that seems better. And feel free to add further, detailed observations, I intend to take this to
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The final sentence of the first paragraph, on general phorusrhacids info, might serve better as the first sentence of the paragraph/section, as it introduces the bauplan before going into the specifics of the
1710:
Like most other skull bones, this is a paired bone (two mirrored halves), so even the source is inconsistent in whether it uses plural or singular, both would work. I made it plural most places now, though.
1258:"as well as a combination of other features", would suggest moving this addendum to the start of the sentence, eg. "...differed from other phorusrhacids through a number of features, including the length..."
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I've had some time to look at this again. Thank you for the detailed replies, most of these were very well solved, I'm just taking a bit more time to look at the areas I thought were closely paraphrased.
1480:"which hampered comparison between phorusrhacid taxa, until the discovery of Kelenken." How does finding the first ever mostly intact skull improve comparison? There's no other skulls to compare it with.
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730:-related topics and create a standardized, informative, comprehensive and easy-to-use resource on Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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Possible to add an explanatory parenthesis for "corpulent" and "graviportal"? Similarly, I feel "flexion abilities" might be able to be reworded, although the meaning is a bit more intuitive.
1734:"permit greater agility when moving between vertical obstacles. The narrow upper maxilla would also help catching small animals hidden among tree trunks or stones" is too close to the source.
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show that large phorusrhacids had very rigid and stiff skulls; this indicates they may have swallowed small prey whole or targeted larger prey with repetitive strikes with the beak."
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Likewise shaken up a bit by other edits, but much of it is just a list of places, so it's difficult to be much different, unless there is something specific you're thinking of.
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It is the only specimen know so far, but unfortunately no source states this specifically, as I guess it's a given in the context. But I've added "holotype" a bunch of places.
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Unfortunately, the sources just say "two years ago", and being from 2006, 2004 seemed logical, but I can't be certain. So I'm not sure about how else to do it.
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Ok, I've never seen a GAN attract vandalism before, that was weird. Worth if I request a second opinion then? I'd like to get this wrapped up soon.
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In
Evolution, the 2015 paper taxonomy is shown as a cladogram, but in the lead the 2011 taxonomy is presented. Is there a reason for the difference?
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Sorry, I have been very busy and unable to dedicate a long enough period of time to give this the attention it deserves. I hope to get to it soon.
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original meaning. With that done, and as noted with the other issues already being handled, I am happy to pass this now. Thank you for the read,
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It may flow better to have the information about the skull vs. other genera after the currently subsequent paragraph describing the holotype.
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1368:"cursorial" could use one of those handy parenthetical explainers you have included elsewhere (including in the body for cursorial).
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Some prose in the first paragraph feels a bit close to the
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in Argentina", I think it's important to note, as the sources do, and this seems to be were many Argentinian fossils are found.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
1759:"used to break long-bones of medium-sized mammals", unfamiliar with this phrasing, should "long-bones" have a "the" here?
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Smaller terror birds are much better known, so this is specifically about the large ones. Reworded to "The discovery of
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Tried with a semicolon instead, as the resulting split sentences seemed fragmentary to me: "Studies of the related
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Problem is I don't know if it has, I've requested some newer articles about other fossils from the formation at
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I'm not sure there is anything technically wrong with it, but changed to "when open environments predominated".
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Explained the first ones as "bulky" and "more heavyset and slow", and reworded the last to "flexibility".
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Technically that genus is the closest even in the 2015 cladogram, but changed to "along with for example
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so I think it's safest to keep that wording, as it will be true regardless of whether it is restudid.
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Some sentences in the first paragraph are uncomfortably close to Bertelli et al. 2007.
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The significance of the final paragraph in relation to Kelenken is unclear to me.
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bones were thought to belong to a single specimen" should probably be reworded.
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To make a specimen a holotype is a phrase used in scientific articles, such as
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Bertelli et al. 2007 seems useable to say there is only a single specimen?
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It has been shaken up a bit with other edits, if that's any better.
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Agree, it was initially, switched back around (also in the intro).
1423:"around 2004" is oddly vague, is there no better dating available?
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Added a better size diagram, but not yet the one I'm waiting for.
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It was like what you describe originally, so moved back to that.
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Noted, will express additional thoughts beyond GACR below then.
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and contribute to a wider array of articles like those on our
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Tried wit parenthesis like in the article body, any better?
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Thanks, I also just added some more text to the article.
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Same question regarding "represent" as in the lead.
2185:FA-Class Palaeontology articles of High-importance
59:This article appeared on Knowledge's Main Page as
2020:I requested one in the meantime, just in case.
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1294:Whoops, moved "Instead" out of the italics...
1448:Is "made the specimen" the right terminology?
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1287:": would make a great species name.
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2165:High-importance bird articles
1182:Changed to "in the region of
734:and see a list of open tasks.
648:the project's cleanup listing
635:search Flickr for free images
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242:project page
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174:WikiProjects
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45:please do so
34:
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1643:Description
1622:Devincenzia
1061:WP:paleoart
999:transcluded
408:Magpie duck
382:Bird flight
232:is part of
2109:Categories
952:Authorship
938:GA toolbox
850:to do list
564:Nik Borrow
434:Nidicolous
252:substitute
246:discussion
36:identified
1678:holotype.
1184:Patagonia
1011:Reviewer:
975:Templates
966:Reviewing
902:GA Review
856:Argentina
834:Argentina
789:Argentina
470:Debeaking
443:Cathartes
430:Phalarope
386:Bird bath
374:Bullfinch
162:is rated
2066:FunkMonk
2022:FunkMonk
2008:FunkMonk
1980:FunkMonk
1962:FunkMonk
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1393:Taxonomy
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1057:Kelenken
1024:contribs
980:Criteria
839:Kelenken
592:Starling
526:Coal tit
404:Plushcap
398:Copyedit
230:Kelenken
164:FA-class
121:Promoted
27:Kelenken
909:Passed
883:on the
844:sign up
764:on the
575:Fregata
569:Pytilia
368:Cleanup
316:history
285:on the
80:Process
1067:next.
1065:WP:FAC
654:, and
604:Wikify
584:Darter
550:Verify
520:Update
424:Expand
170:scale.
102:Listed
83:Result
1823:WP:RX
1001:from
841:, or
625:Other
490:Stubs
326:purge
321:watch
300:To-do
258:Birds
193:Birds
151:This
29:is a
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2012:talk
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1118:Lead
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1018:talk
915:talk
875:High
756:High
618:more
596:more
542:more
512:more
482:more
464:NPOV
456:more
416:more
390:more
360:more
311:edit
277:High
77:Date
2052:CMD
2037:CMD
1994:CMD
1944:CMD
1913:CMD
1657:was
1041:CMD
911:CMD
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