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just seems awkward - I don't know if the contradictory conclusion that he "professed to be one of her fans" naturally follows the fact she "always had top billing" and a career that eclipsed his. Why would any of that negate him being her fan? Maybe rearrange, putting the fan part in with the
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A Baltimore
Evening Sun review was typical of the praise lavished on Dunn: "Without Dunn, Bad Girl would be just another movie. With him, it's something that provokes chuckles, tears, laughs, sighs and everything else that a nice little movie hopes to
1368:
Not a joke, but in a few GANR I've seen and done, if substantial work has been done the GA banner on the talk page has had the date/oldid updated. (there's not been so much work needed here, that's why I asked, because I'm not sure it's necessary)
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The Morse code
Christmas anecdote should have some tie to an aspect of his personal life - the section is well-developed, and this seems like unnecessary padding. E.g. is it part of his sense of humor, or are Malibu and Morse code some of his
892:
The Mollie
Merrick quotation is awkward. The sentence is phrased for incorporation, but then goes into a very lengthy block quote. I'd rephrase the little introduction to fix this, and probably cut down the amount
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Overcoverage of the
Shippan Point incident. It's a second-by-second play of a relatively minor incident, and with no other extra details in the section it is undue detail.
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Sources for the most part very good; many are inaccessible. Some are less reliable generally (Family Search), but seem fit for purpose in the limited use.
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The quote box in Early film and stage career could easily be incorporated into the prose - neither section or quote are long enough to warrant the use
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is just the review - there's nothing supporting that it "was typical of the praise lavished on Dunn", which is NPOV language without a source
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But a friend, actress and dancer Gloria
Grafton, urged casting directors involved in the extensive talent search to hire him
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Though Temple always received top billing and her career soon eclipsed his, Dunn professed to being one of her fans
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is linked in the previous sentence. I repeated "Fox Film" here without the link, but the word "Film" is redundant.
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well, you know more about it than me. I'm fine either way. Thank you again for your suggestions for improvement.
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isn't a complete sentence. What is the 'but' following? (It's a new sentence, so 'Despite this,' would be used)
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professionalism sentence just before, and make the top billing/career sentence a simple statement
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Thanks for the review! I spent a whole week digging up sources, and it paid off! Best,
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It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
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I could cite a slew of reviews here but that would be undue. Hope you like my rewrite.
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I was told that FamilySearch is fine for official U.S. state birth and death records.
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Sure, and I don't think this will affect the DYK run, in case you were wondering.
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title could be plain prose, at the end of the sentence or incorporated into the
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A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
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Move the
Associated Press wikilink up - it's mentioned in an earlier section
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thank you, I'm happy to address these issues. Please give me some time.
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It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing
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Signing a Fox contract and mother moving out can be one sentence
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Great, should be fine unless you want to update the GA banner?
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In the mention of leap year and proposals, perhaps link to
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Link
Borzage to Fox when introducing him in this context.
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Perhaps merge the screen persona and recognition sections
1038:- same problem. "However, a friend..." is the way to go
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Temple again plays Dunn's daughter in this hit film
723:Link 'Fox' to the most appropriate article in
762:- is this not more commonly shortened to MGM?
8:
1350:I'm not sure what you mean; is that a joke?
357:without going into unnecessary detail (see
663:Talk page and history are clean and stable
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538:You're very welcome! Have a great day! —
1002:But he admired Temple's professionalism
610:Some of the images may need re-scaling.
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565:discussion with MonkeyStolen234
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197:B. It complies with the
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1203:Move up Malibu wikilink
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18:Talk:James Dunn (actor)
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332:broad in its coverage
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339:main aspects
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180:well written
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117:Article talk
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81:Instructions
436:with their
104:visual edit
1171:interests?
660:looks fine
314:plagiarism
238:verifiable
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
933:sentence.
581:Lead fine
268:are from
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
1093:Reworded
858:provoke"
746:Fox Film
462:relevant
407:edit war
171:WP:WIAGA
157:contribs
76:Criteria
1396:Yoninah
1390:Kingsif
1371:Kingsif
1352:Yoninah
1346:Kingsif
1327:Kingsif
1309:Yoninah
1303:Kingsif
1284:Kingsif
1266:Yoninah
1260:Kingsif
1241:Kingsif
1235:Yoninah
893:quoted.
712:Reduced
688:Prose:
569:Kingsif
534:Yoninah
515:Yoninah
483:Overall
378:neutral
264:B. All
215:fiction
127:history
108:history
94:Article
1000:Also,
440:, and
434:tagged
426:images
400:stable
398:Is it
375:Is it
330:Is it
235:Is it
217:, and
207:layout
178:Is it
241:with
136:Watch
16:<
1400:talk
1375:talk
1356:talk
1331:talk
1313:talk
1288:talk
1270:talk
1245:talk
1221:Done
1189:Done
1157:Done
1126:Done
1090:Done
1056:Done
1022:Done
987:Done
951:Done
911:Done
878:Done
842:Done
811:Done
780:Done
709:Done
648:Done
624:Done
601:Done
573:talk
544:talk
519:talk
312:nor
151:talk
123:edit
100:edit
361:):
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316::
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182:?
167:GA
159:)
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154:·
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Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.