1227:"LuaLua made 26 league and cup appearances, scoring six goals, including two against local rivals Southampton, in the 2004–05 season, which was marred by a groin injury at the beginning of the season and a hamstring injury in May 2005, and disciplinary problems that led to charges by the Football Association of abusive behaviour in December 2004 and improper conduct after he was sent off against Blackburn Rovers in January 2005, for which he received an extra one-match ban and a fine of £5,000 in addition to a three-match ban for the dismissal." Again a massive sentence, this should be broken down into multiple sentences. References shouldn't be mid-sentence but after punctuation.
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1232:"He also missed several games due to international duty at the 2004 African Cup of Nations and missed games in April 2006 after damaging his foot while doing his trademark goal celebration of several back-flips during a game against Arsenal." Another reference mid-sentence. Also 2004 African Cup of Nations has already been linked. The word "trademark" is a bit journalistic and misleading, as it refers to a legal identification of a product/organisation.
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1222:"He scored four goals in 15 appearances for Portsmouth as they finished in mid-table in their debut season in the Premiership and manager Harry Redknapp was sufficiently impressed with LuaLua's performances that when his loan spell ended at the end of the 2003/04 season, he signed LuaLua permanently at a cost of £1.75 million." This sentence is very long and should be broken up. For continuity/MOS reasons, 2003/04 should be 2003–04.
1436:"LuaLua was recalled to the DR Congo squad for a friendly against Tunisia played near Paris in November 2005, part of the countries' preparation for the 2006 African Nations Cup to be held in Egypt in January and February 2006, but he was unable to play after being one of several players refused a visa by French immigration authorities." Another long sentence that should be split. Also should be "as part of the countries'".
1237:"He ran into disciplinary problems once more when he was warned by the Football Association over his future conduct after he admitted a charge of improper conduct in relation to comments made about referee Uriah Rennie after a 3–1 defeat at Tottenham Hotspur in December." Again "ran into" is a bit journalistic and should be changed. The sentence should also be broken down, either by being split or use of a comma.
1337:"That season Al-Arabi were eliminated in the quarter-finals of the Emir Cup after losing 2–1 to Qatar SC. The 2008–09 Qatari League finished with Al-Arabi in seventh place with eight wins in the 27 matches that were played." These sentences are padding a bit and probably doesn't belong in LuaLua's article but in Al-Arabi's current season. Is there no info about LuaLua's appearances in the league or other comps?
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An ankle injury kept him out of
Olympiakos' Champions League first leg tie with Chelsea in February 2008, and a more serious injury, a dislocated shoulder, suffered during a Super League game against Asteras Tripolis in March, meant he missed the second leg Champions League match against Chelsea too.
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Are there specific dates for the following events, "He made his 2007–08 Super League debut in a 0–0 draw with
Panathinaikos in September 2007. His first goals for his new club came in the following Super League fixture when he scored twice in Olympiakos' 6–2 victory against OFI Crete." and how many
1217:"LuaLua scored on his debut for Portsmouth in a 4–3 away defeat to Tottenham Hotspur in February 2003." The transfer to Portsmouth needs to be expanded/reorganised to avoid confusion. In the previous section it says he's already played for Portsmouth, so why's he making his debut against Tottenham?
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I don't think the current clubs of his family should be included in the family links section, as they will need to be kept up to date and not really relevant to Lomana (however, that fact that his brother plays for NUFC might be notable). This might slightly be recentism, a second opinion may be
1039:"Forest Gate Community school" - school should be in capitals here as it the name, also did he not attend the school before the age of 13 as it only states "as a teenager"? My knowledge of education in England is that high/secondary school starts around 11/12. There's also no reference to this.
1182:"LuaLua urged manager Bobby Robson to select some of the younger players for the first-team" nothing in the source or quote say anything about younger players. The BBC report(er) is also a bit subjective in the way he interprets the quote saying he's having a pop at the senior players as such.
1426:"He was selected for the World Cup qualifier against South Africa in September 2004 but missed the game due to injury and was dropped for the next qualifier against Ghana in October 2004." Dates should be looked at and sentence should be split with a comma or full-stop. Ref after punc.
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Some of the sources are presented differently - some are in italics others aren't, some have newspaper publishers listed whilst others don't. I thought it was customary to italicise newspapers but don't think other/online news outlets are. Also the dates are set out differently.
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I've now gone through the article in greater detail. I have put the article on hold for seven days to allow the relevant changes to be made, please discuss relevant issues with the review here. If the above changes can be made I will pass the article. Cheers,
1471:"He did not travel to Ethiopia for the away fixture in June 2007, as the authorities failed to send him his travel documents in time, and missed the game, which DR Congo lost." You don't need to mention he didn't play/missed the game twice.
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What makes NUFC.com reliable, this looks to be a fansite and I'm not sure of the legitamacy of the match report. Also LuaLua's official site looks self published and blogglish. Also www.lomanalualuaofficialwebsite.com is questionable. See
1172:"Competition for a first-team place meant that LuaLua made only 22 appearances in this season." Is there not always competition for a first-team place? This could be perceived by a non-football fan as LuaLua was NUFC's only striker before.
1398:"He played in the 0–0 draw with Togo, 1–0 loss to Cameroon, 3–1 win over Ivory Coast and the quarter-final game against Senegal, which DR Congo lost 2–0 amid some controversy." Another mid-sentence reference. What was the "controversy"?
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The last thing in the article about LuaLua's club career is almost a year old, has nothing significant happened since then? Is he injured/retired? Also the source is questionable, but that is an issue mentioned in the next
1441:"despite a pay dispute leading to the DR Congo players threatening to boycott the game, which was only resolved shortly before before the kickoff." Put this before game details in a sentence, rather than an after thought.
1242:"LuaLua signed a new three-year contract in July 2006, tying him to Portsmouth until 2009." The word "tying" again is journalistic and probably needs changing. I'd suggest "keeping him at" or something to that effect.
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A point I picked up on towards the end of the club career section and in the international section is that the year(s) don't always have to follow the dates/month if previously mentioned in the para/sentence.
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A section here mentions his son's death. This is quite a big event and I remember it being fairly well reported on, yet there is no mention of family or a "Personal life" section that this could be expanded
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1431:"LuaLua played for DR Congo in the 2–1 win over Cape Verde Islands in September but contracted malaria and missed the final World Cup qualifier against South Africa in October 2005." Ref at end of sentence.
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This section doesn't really tell us much about his Col U career. Two seasons worth are summed up in one sentence, perhaps notable games such as debut/first goal etc should be mentioned.
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1408:"He was however included in the squad and named as captain in the absence of regular captain, Shabani Nonda, who missed the tournament due to a knee injury." Mid-sentence reference.
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Leyton Sixth Form
College in London ...Leyton shouldn't be linked in the name of the college, also Leyton isn't in London (as in the capital city), but in Greater London. See
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I have just rated this article as B-class, because I feel there are several gaps in it. An image would be helpful and I'm not sure it has a NPOV. Please discuss this below.
1299:"On 30 October 2008, Al-Arabi won the Sheikh Jassem Cup, beating Al Rayyan Club 3–0 in the final with LuaLua scoring one goal in the seventh minute." Year not needed again
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The infobox hasn't been updated for over a year. Is there anything to update? I know it's not policy etc but have you thought about using the
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Why is his unusual goal celebration in this section and more specifically at then end of a section to do with his early life/career?
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Changed the infobox although some FAs and GAs have the old one for some reason. The source for his Al-Arabi appearances is this
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A lot of the paragraphs and sentences start with "LuaLua...", can these be changed to help break it up a bit?
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Spotted by the club...probably needs to be a bit more specific as he was spotted by a coach from the club
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on
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As mentioned in #1 there are a few points that need to be addressed and are highlighted there.
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The second paragraph mentions younger players. I changed it to squad rotation anyway.
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which don't mention anything. Al-Arabi's site doesn't have an
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Actually I've added his first goal for the club. I hope it's enough for GA.
966:. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
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I put in a peer review request just in case, it doesn't look far off
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Nice work and congratulations. I've now passed the article as GA! --
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I think LuaLua's official site is OK if there is no substitute. See
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Dates in this section overall should be looked at. See point below.
472:. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
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I am still in the process of reviewing the article, cheers. --
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from the article and its talk page, especially if potentially
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B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
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Derby should be named as Derby County as per previous point.
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953:
950:
949:
948:
947:
946:
945:
944:
943:
942:
880:Rocket71048576
875:
872:
869:
868:
853:
847:
844:
843:
840:
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832:Low-importance
823:
822:
806:
796:
795:
788:Low-importance
784:
778:
777:
775:
758:the discussion
745:
744:
728:
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713:Low‑importance
701:
689:
688:
685:
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681:Mid-importance
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645:
644:
637:Mid-importance
633:
627:
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607:the discussion
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593:
577:
565:
564:
562:Mid‑importance
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530:Mid-importance
521:
520:
504:
494:
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457:
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440:
428:
427:
416:
404:
403:
397:
386:
372:
371:
367:this help page
351:poorly sourced
337:
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318:
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247:August 5, 2009
242:
241:
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118:
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113:
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107:
102:
93:
92:
90:
89:
82:
77:
68:
62:
60:
59:
48:
39:
38:
35:
34:
28:
13:
10:
9:
6:
4:
3:
2:
1981:
1970:
1967:
1965:
1962:
1960:
1957:
1955:
1952:
1950:
1947:
1945:
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1940:
1937:
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1932:
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1927:
1925:
1922:
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891:
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886:
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866:
862:
858:
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848:
833:
830:(assessed as
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820:
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798:
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783:
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779:
776:
759:
755:
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741:Africa portal
731:
729:
726:
722:
721:
717:
710:
705:
702:
699:
695:
682:
679:(assessed as
678:
677:
669:
658:
651:
647:
646:
642:
638:
632:
629:
628:
625:
608:
604:
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591:
585:
580:
578:
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571:
570:
566:
559:
554:
551:
548:
544:
531:
528:(assessed as
527:
526:
518:
517:Sports portal
507:
500:
496:
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492:
475:
474:documentation
471:
467:
463:
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454:
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196:Lomana LuaLua
194:
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159:
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143:
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123:Find sources:
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110:Verifiability
108:
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98:
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87:
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78:
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52:Learn to edit
49:
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32:
26:
25:Lomana LuaLua
22:
18:
17:
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1786:
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1690:
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1674:B. Focused:
1656:
1552:
1548:
1489:
1477:
1474:
1470:
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1420:
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1397:
1388:
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1139:
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1125:
1100:
1076:
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1038:
1029:
1007:compliance:
985:
979:for criteria
971:
970:
957:
877:
825:
787:
747:
674:
636:
596:
523:
459:
400:WikiProjects
365:
353:
346:
340:
322:
309:
297:Not promoted
290:
271:
252:
217:reassessment
215:
200:
199:
195:
171:
165:
157:
150:
144:
138:
132:
122:
94:
19:This is the
1503:new infobox
960:transcluded
254:Peer review
212:renominated
148:free images
31:not a forum
1868:Categories
1620:WP:SELFPUB
1554:verifiable
1256:Olympiakos
1208:Portsmouth
1046:WP:LINKING
1030:Background
918:Malcolmxl5
1836:Spiderone
1625:Spiderone
1582:Spiderone
1522:Spiderone
1458:Spiderone
1370:Spiderone
1355:Spiderone
1315:Spiderone
1193:Spiderone
1113:Spiderone
1088:Spiderone
1064:Spiderone
1061:Expanded
952:GA Review
932:Spiderone
904:Spiderone
890:Spiderone
479:Biography
419:Biography
358:libellous
88:if needed
71:Be polite
21:talk page
1743:contain
1741:Does it
1717:5.Is it
1689:4.Is it
1507:WP:FOOTY
1329:section.
1312:Removed
1290:Al-Arabi
1110:I agree
977:WP:WIAGA
612:Football
553:Football
316:Delisted
259:Reviewed
56:get help
29:This is
27:article.
1787:Overall
1692:neutral
1570:checked
1102:needed.
790:on the
639:on the
558:England
390:C-class
237:Process
154:WP refs
142:scholar
1745:images
1719:stable
1655:Is it
1611:&
1547:Is it
1414:FECOFA
1135:Career
1085:Moved
984:Is it
874:Rating
763:Africa
754:Africa
704:Africa
396:scale.
278:Listed
240:Result
126:Google
1847:Jimbo
1825:Jimbo
1803:Jimbo
1613:WP:OR
1605:WP:RS
1490:Other
962:from
169:JSTOR
130:books
84:Seek
1609:WP:V
1551:and
936:talk
922:talk
908:talk
894:talk
468:and
234:Date
162:FENS
136:news
73:and
1637:C.
1447:in.
1005:MoS
1003:B.
782:Low
709:DRC
631:Mid
347:BLP
176:TWL
1870::
1822:--
1789::
1771::
1755::
1721:?
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1659:?
1641::
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54:;
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345:(
172:·
166:·
158:·
151:·
145:·
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133:·
128:(
58:.
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.
