Knowledge (XXG)

Talk:Mind Games (John Lennon album)

Source πŸ“

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In fact, I would suggest a full revision of this sentence to "He decided he also wanted to record a new album, after he liked the musicians that their assistant and production coordinator May Pang had assembled for Ono's album. Shortly thereafter, he asked Pang to book them for his sessions." I think
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was recorded between July and August 1973 in Lennon's characteristic quick fashion, and mixed over a two-week period. Lennon produced the album by himself, following a previous two-year partnership with Phil Spector. When the album was remixed in 2002, many audio anormallies that were hidden in the
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Regarding "was feeling weighed down" and "feel that he was drifting away" β€” I definitely understand what the prose is getting at here, and there's no question that it's typical English writing style, but I wonder if it's the sort of thing that some might object to, since the specifics of those
981:"Lennon's characteristic quick fashion" β€” I can't quite pin down the reason for this one, but I think this reads better with another adjective between "quick" and "fashion." Since I cannot justify it, you can probably feel free to ignore this one if you happen to disagree. 1380:
templates (though I personally find those the simplest method to use), but you probably should abbreviate them in some fashion. For the second Blaney ref (#5 currently), for example, you could easily just trim the text of the ref to "Blaney 2005, pp. 127-128".
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There are a couple structural problems with the first few sentences of this paragraph; I'm going to propose a wording that I think resolves all of them. I am leaving refs out here, so you'll have to make sure those remain attached to the statements they're
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Looks like a nice article overall, though I suspect it is in need of a good amount of work. I'm going to start with the first section, rather than with the lead, as I want to make sure I can accurately go over what needs to be included in the lead to meet
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feelings are hard to quantify in the cold, clinical style that many Knowledge (XXG) editors prefer. I might suggest rewriting these to mention that Lennon "became stressed" and "began to feel emotionally withdrawn" or something similar.
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Thanks. If you have a page number for the reference, that would be ideal, but I don't think it's strictly required. For a book that's chronologically organised, it shouldn't be too hard for anyone to find and verify.
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I would end the "Make Love, Not War" sentence with the original song title. "which Lennon recorded demos of, on 28 and 29 December 1970" should then become "Lennon recorded demos of the song on 28 and 29 December
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in the sentence regarding the album's release dates that could probably be combined into a single one. I would separate the catalogue numbers with a semicolon. Very small issue, but I think it'd be better that
1010:"many audio abnormalities" β€” This is somewhat vague, no? If the source in question gives more detail, I would add a few examples. If it doesn't get more specific than that, though, there shouldn't be a problem. 700: 1763: 1376:
are a bit unwieldy. We have books that are given full-form citations many times, when just once would have sufficed. This makes it, IMO, a little hard to follow. You don't have to use
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In the second paragraph, I would add a brief mention of his immigration issue. You could probably keep this in the same sentence as the mention of the separation with no real problem.
785:. Most of these will be prose issues, though I'll probably touch on referencing and breadth of scope from time to time. All of these are just suggestions; feel free to disagree, etc. 1449:
in summer 1973, produced solely by Lennon, and released in November of that year." You can then delete the final sentence of this paragraph, which is somewhat out of place right now.
475: 1445:"was recorded and released in November 1973" makes it sound as if it was recorded and released within the same month. I would suggest revising this to read "was recorded at 1263:
Is his reprising of the role sourced to the Pang book? If so, I would add another footnote at the end of this sentence. If not, we'll need to find a source that backs it up.
861:"After constant court appearances" &mdash Shouldn't this be "Amid constant court appearances" or similar, since his legal status wasn't definitively resolved until '75? 154:
and related topics on Knowledge (XXG). Users who are willing to participate in the project should visit the project page, where they can join and see a list of open tasks.
733: 705: 1166:"On some of the rough mixes that have appeared on bootlegs, they chronicle the time-consuming overdubbing for the arrangement that Lennon wanted for the song." ---: --> 1419:
Final pass will be done by Sunday night. I suspect all the problems have been dealt with, but I want to give it a final look to make sure there aren't any I missed.
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There's a sentence that begins "Which were written to fulfil his record label contract obligations," but it lacks a subject. Is this referring to the songs on
1743: 896:"Under the billing"? "Incarnation" doesn't typically refer to the name or title of something, so perhaps this is clearer. Alternatively, "Under the moniker". 175: 1647:: There are lots of alternative topics for the relatively-common phrase "Mind Games", and including the artist's name in the title is helpful to readers. β€” 802:"By the start of 1973, John Lennon started" should probably be "By the start of 1973, John Lennon had started". Since the sentence specifies events that 1768: 225: 53: 1270:
I'm not entirely sure as the Pang ref and the reprisal was already in the article before I started working on it. I'll have a look anyway. Best,
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Do we have any idea where the December 1970 demos were recorded? I feel like it may be helpful to mention this, if only to distance it from the
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to the talk pages of all Beatles-related articles. Send a newsletter to members, canvas for new members and coordinate tasks. Enter articles
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all look fine. I will give the whole of the article another read-through and give a thorough spot check to the references over the weekend.
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Will check this later, though I think the place wasn't mentioned in the particular source I add, it might be in some other sources. Best,
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Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a
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The clause "After Ono edged Pang on" seems like a strange aside from the rest of the paragraph. I would rewrite it to "At Ono's urging".
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Great work! And congratulations on successfully deciphering some of my cryptic and contradictory comments above. More shortly.
772: 513: 464: 203: 87: 1593: 973:"The album was recorded" - I would introduce the name of the album in this section right here, rather than just "the album." 1061:
sessions mention. As it is now, I could see a somewhat less-informed reader assuming that these demos were done during the
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Perhaps we should add "in December 1980" following "After Lennon's death", to make the chronology as clear as possible.
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I would change the sentence beginning "Lennon decided" to start with "He decided" to avoud overuse of the surname.
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Could someone please get the article title & page number for the Billboard reference #58? Thanks!
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Everything else looks fine. I will be ready to list the article as soon as the above is taken care of.
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Okay. For now it's not a problem, but that would be great if you could find any more info on it.
877:"a situation that was only worsened by constant surveillance by the FBI" β€” Does this read better? 520: 506: 1676: 1656: 1648: 1639: 1621: 1582: 1537: 1499: 1494: 1472: 1423: 1414: 1409: 1385: 1363: 1340: 1335: 1281: 1276: 1225: 1216: 1211: 1187: 1136: 1131: 1120: 1110: 1105: 1084: 1079: 1037: 1028: 1023: 957: 952: 928: 885: 789: 776: 651: 637: 632: 610: 432: 400: 395: 380: 375: 356: 351: 332: 327: 308: 303: 277: 272: 1377: 643: 602: 1686: 418: 810:
a certain date, I think it's more grammatically congruent to use the past perfect tense.
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I would mention the album's re-releases, if only in passing, as well as the single.
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Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on this talk page or in a
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is an album with Yoko Ono and not a solo album. this is really confusing me
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Maybe mention that this was Lennon's first solo album without Phil Spector?
754:. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review. 570:
onto this list, also list articles needing cleanup and other work here.
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The cite doesn't have a page number as the book is an e-book. Best,
1612:, this album is not more notable than all other subjects combined. 1249: 1183:
To be continued Thursday. Friday at the absolute latest. Thanks!
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A list of articles needing cleanup associated with this project
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as only the first 50-ish pages are availble for preview. Best,
1158:"and him knowing about the cause for his insecurity." ---: --> 904:"Difficulties between Lennon and Ono became" β€” Simplify tense. 69: 15: 903:"Difficulties between Lennon and Ono were becoming" ---: --> 424: 211: 193: 150:, which focuses on improving coverage of English rock band 1710:
wouldn't this be John Lennon's third studio album because
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The Cynical Idealist: A Spiritual Biography of John Lennon
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The above discussion is preserved as an archive of a
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I would drop the "by" in "by arranging interviews."
1699:. No further edits should be made to this section. 1441:Almost forgot about this! Just a few things here. 1150:"features lyrics that Lennon apologises" ---: --> 45:. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can 1764:GA-Class Apple Corps and Apple Records articles 1257:"King also reprised his role as Queen" ---: --> 832:Drop "at this point" in the sentence following. 1306:"toward the foreground representing" ---: --> 1247:"and had Lennon waltzing with "her"" ---: --> 1159:"and discusses the causes of his insecurity." 319:John Lennon: Music, Memories, and Memorabilia 8: 1205:bar two (see above). (Thanks so far!) Best, 1151:"features lyrics in which Lennon apologises" 854:? Probably need to rewrite for clarity here. 884:I would link "The Plastic U.F.Ono Band" to 1550:The following is a closed discussion of a 1065:sessions, which, of course, they were not. 683: 459:Here are some tasks awaiting attention: 233: 101: 1290:"and reaching higher in the US" ---: --> 144:-related article is within the scope of 714: 686: 160:Knowledge (XXG):WikiProject The Beatles 103: 1706:placement in John Lennon's discography 1248:"and waltzed with Lennon" β€” Also link 1573:the pages, per the discussion below. 1307:"toward the foreground, representing" 1258:"King reprised his role as the Queen" 7: 1569:The result of the move request was: 667:The following discussion is closed. 260:Mind Games: The Guide to Inner Space 202:This article is within the scope of 75: 73: 1744:Mid-importance The Beatles articles 92:It is of interest to the following 472:Category:The Beatles concert tours 228:on at least one previous occasion. 14: 1508:The discussion above is closed. 1488:and thanks for the review! Best, 980:"Lennon's quick fashion" ---: --> 41:. 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1176:Backmasking 804:had already 748:transcluded 317:Nothing in 237:To-do list: 157:The Beatles 152:The Beatles 142:John Lennon 113:The Beatles 1723:Categories 1603:Mind Games 1590:Mind Games 1298:nota benes 999:Mind Games 852:Mind Games 795:Background 783:WP:SUMMARY 701:Authorship 687:GA toolbox 644:GoingBatty 603:GoingBatty 496:See also: 37:under the 1524:Evanh2008 1470:Evanh2008 1421:Evanh2008 1383:Evanh2008 1374:Citations 1370:Footnotes 1361:Evanh2008 1353:Personnel 1223:Evanh2008 1185:Evanh2008 1118:Evanh2008 1035:Evanh2008 989:sourcing: 926:Evanh2008 806:happened 787:Evanh2008 763:Evanh2008 760:Reviewer: 724:Templates 715:Reviewing 680:GA Review 642:Thanks! 474:). See: 1666:Gregkaye 1608:– fails 1575:Dekimasu 1534:contribs 1063:Get Back 1059:Get Back 773:contribs 729:Criteria 321:. Best, 266:. Best, 84:GA-class 47:reassess 1662:Support 1645:Support 1628:Support 841:demoing 556:Project 531:Kenwood 184:on the 1490:yeepsi 1405:yeepsi 1403:Best, 1357:Charts 1355:, and 1331:yeepsi 1329:Best, 1272:yeepsi 1207:yeepsi 1127:yeepsi 1101:yeepsi 1075:yeepsi 1050:1970." 1019:yeepsi 948:yeepsi 946:Best, 839:Link " 628:yeepsi 626:Best, 558:: Add 539:Verify 521:Update 484:Expand 391:yeepsi 389:Best, 371:yeepsi 369:Best, 347:yeepsi 345:Best, 323:yeepsi 299:yeepsi 268:yeepsi 90:scale. 54:Review 1250:waltz 750:from 551:Other 512:See: 507:Stubs 385:Done 365:Done 289:Done 258:Done 140:This 1653:talk 1636:talk 1618:talk 1571:move 1528:talk 1485:Done 1400:Done 1326:Done 1301:way. 1202:Done 1096:Done 943:Done 767:talk 648:talk 623:Done 607:talk 439:and 417:For 341:Nor 262:and 224:the 1689:. 1378:SFN 660:GA1 222:was 176:Mid 49:it. 1725:: 1655:) 1638:) 1620:) 1601:β†’ 1592:β†’ 1579:γ‚ˆ! 1554:. 1536:) 1351:, 1238:: 968:: 843:"? 808:by 797:: 775:) 650:) 609:) 564:}} 560:{{ 529:: 443:. 63:). 1673:β™ͺ 1671:✍ 1651:( 1634:( 1616:( 1531:Β· 1526:( 1497:) 1493:( 1437:: 1412:) 1408:( 1338:) 1334:( 1279:) 1275:( 1252:? 1214:) 1210:( 1178:? 1134:) 1130:( 1108:) 1104:( 1082:) 1078:( 1026:) 1022:( 955:) 951:( 770:Β· 765:( 646:( 635:) 631:( 605:( 553:: 542:: 533:. 524:: 510:: 487:: 478:. 468:: 398:) 394:( 378:) 374:( 354:) 350:( 330:) 326:( 306:) 302:( 275:) 271:( 188:. 96::

Index

Good articles
Music good articles
good article criteria
please do so
reassess
Review
Reviewed version
content assessment
WikiProjects
WikiProject icon
The Beatles
WikiProject icon
John Lennon
WikiProject The Beatles
The Beatles
Mid
project's importance scale
Taskforce icon
WikiProject Albums
Note icon
was
project collaboration
Goolge Books list
yeepsi
Talk tonight
22:52, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
yeepsi
Talk tonight
18:14, 28 January 2013 (UTC)
yeepsi

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